Less Alcohol - MAY 2020 - One Day at a Time

Tesha231 · May 2020

@looneycatblue I am new to this group as well and your story sounds a lot like mine! (apparently I don't know how to repost yours!)
"strong drink while starting dinner, and continue with another..."
"It is a problem though, when I wake up in the morning (surprisingly no hang-overs), I forget sometimes the conversations, the shows watched, or the mindless snacking, the night before."
"I am not good with moderation."
So I too decided the best thing I could do for me was to go AF for as long as I could. Only a few days ahead of you now at 12 AF Days. Real or imagined, it seemed to get easier at day 7. Best of luck on your journey!

looneycatblue · May 2020

sklaw31 wrote: »

@looneycatblue I am new to this group as well and your story sounds a lot like mine! (apparently I don't know how to repost yours!)
"strong drink while starting dinner, and continue with another..."
"It is a problem though, when I wake up in the morning (surprisingly no hang-overs), I forget sometimes the conversations, the shows watched, or the mindless snacking, the night before."
"I am not good with moderation."
So I too decided the best thing I could do for me was to go AF for as long as I could. Only a few days ahead of you now at 12 AF Days. Real or imagined, it seemed to get easier at day 7. Best of luck on your journey!

Thank you... it is good to have people to talk with that are going through a similar journey...
to quote, just hit the "Quote" button.

Congratulations on 12 days, that is quite an accomplishment! I got through day 3, same urges, same time, but I just said NO and poured a nice glass of sparkling water with some lime in it... really wanted to sneak some spirits in there too (nobody is watching, right???) Well I just threw that devil off my shoulder hard, and listened to the angel on the other. So happy I did!

That is encouraging, I am hoping by day 7 this starts to get easier!

Tesha231 · May 2020

@Doxmum Sending lots of hugs. Dementia is very unforgiving and confusing for the caregiver. I commend you for facing this possibility while simultaneously challenging yourself to head toward a healthier lifestyle. All the while keeping us in tune with your 30 day journey--I know I am selfishly learning from your updates. Keep the faith.

Tesha231 · May 2020

@looneycatblue Another thing that got me through the urges, especially around cooking time, was remember what @MissMay shared on page 1, "Most cravings last 6 minutes." A former mentor of mine used to say, "anyone can do anything for 10 minutes." So, four minutes less, right!? I used the "10 minute" version when I quit smoking, gosh--almost 18 years ago. My last AF trick is to make a icy cold water and spike it with a flavored basalmic vinegar. Just tart enough to make me feel like I am drinking something self-forbidden. My "angel" loves raspberry basalmic. Cheers!

Womona · May 2020

Doxmum wrote: »

AF 7/25 and 4/5 for Take a Break. Feel free to skip this post - it's not uplifting.

I had another husband-induced, massive urge to drink today. I held out for awhile but I finally caved and drank a can of 10% Brut bubbles (my go to). This time I did the deep dive into "Why did I want a drink so badly?" On reflection, I was in a lot of emotional pain because I think my husband is showing signs of cognitive decline. This is the first stage of dementia which will eventually progress to Alzheimer's or some other disabling neurodegenerative disease. The first signs are usually personality changes, irritability, short temper and impatience, along with pronounced short-term memory loss - all of which he is exhibiting. So I had a drink.

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and your family. Has he sought treatment so far, or are you going to have to be the one to initiate the doctor visits? I hope there is some medication or therapies that will slow this process down. Cognitive decline is really taxing for family members (not to mention the patient!).

Womona · May 2020

13/26 days AF. This weekend we hosted a really fun social distancing party, and oh did the drinks flow! We may not have cured Covid, but we sure gave Malaria a run for its money with all the gin and tonics!

Next day I said “no drinks for me” and then proceeded to have 3 wines at my neighbors. Surprisingly not hung over (spaced out over many hours), but oh my poor liver! Happily AF today again!!!

For all those joining, or re- joining us: Cravings las 6 minutes, and it’s great to distract yourself for that short amount of time. I’ve taken to having my seltzer and cranberry in a wine glass. I get the “feel” of drinking without any of the drawbacks! First 2 days are the hardest but then it gets easier. On occasion I go over, but for the most part I’m happy I can moderate when I do choose to drink.

Tesha231 · May 2020

@Womona Sounds like a fantastic weekend. Got to love the spontaneity of life sometimes, right? I really like that you help reinforce that some times simply call for a social beverage--with no guilt or regrets. I think you have this 'choice and moderation' thing down. Good job!

dawnbgethealthy · May 2020

As usual, I am going to try for 16-20 AF days for the month.
My goal used to be 8AF days per month, I am pretty happy to try to cruise between 16-20 so as not to put too much pressure on myself. If I get more that is just gravy.
I managed 22AF days somehow in April!!
Thanks @MissMay for keeping us going : - )

Saturday May 16 - 3 drinks. Didn't make it to my 2 AF days in between, but no regrets whatsoever.
Sunday May 17 - AF - Felt like having drinks, but resisted.
Monday May 18 - AF - Fancied a drink, delayed enough times to resist.
Tuesday May 19 - AF - Felt like having drinks, also felt like having Ribs or Pizza, but didn't have any of those, I can have them another day.
Wednesday May 20 - AF - Another day of avoiding alcohol. I might have drinks tomorrow or Saturday, or both. Getting close to my 16AF days.
Thursday May 21 - 3 drinks. Rainy, cold and windy here. It was really nice to have a Cointreau mixed with Bailey's, and some Port Salut. Calling this a "cheat" day. Really nice.
Friday May 22 - AF - I felt rough all day from those 3 drinks last night. I guess that I am not used to it anymore.
Saturday May 23 - AF - I have some guys coming to work on my property tomorrow, so I want to be bright and alert. Otherwise I would have had drinks today.
Sunday May 24 - A bunch of drinks and music making with the work crew. Drinking some water now, hoping not to puke, and hoping not to feel like *kitten* tomorrow. I like the drinks while they are happening, but the after effects are not really good. Could be that I have grown to be not used to it anymore.
Monday May 25 - AF - I didn't feel great today after drinks yesterday. I pretty much don't eat during the daytime except for berries and coffee in the morning, so when I do indulge in alcohol it it usually on an empty stomach. I don't feel lousy the next day every time I have drinks, but moreso than I used to.
Tuesday Mary 26 - AF - Felt like having drinks after going very hard in my yard today. Yep, the 6 minute trick repeated quite a few times. As I look at my posts, I didn't feel well the next day the last 2 times out of 3 that I had drinks.

19AF days out of 26 days so far

Doxmum · May 2020

AF 8/25 and 5/6 on Take a Break. First, "MAHOLO NUI LOA" (Thank you very much in Hawaiian) for the hugs, words of encouragement, support and prayers. Not sure what I'd do w/o this group (and Take a Break). Yes I do - I'd be drinking a lot more. Interestingly, I had a slight headache this morning after only ONE can yesterday. I wished I'd enjoyed it more, w/o so much guilt.

@womona: I was going to bring up the subject of seeing a neurologist with my husband today. But I chickened out. Hopefully tomorrow. I made it w/o drinking, but it was mostly a white-knuckle. I've been drinking the no-calorie ginger beer/cranberry combo. I may be getting hooked on that now! Waiting 6 minutes feels like 6 months

@globalhiker: There is a medication called Aricept (donezepil) which is very effective in reducing the symptoms if given early in the disease process. Not a cure, but a delay and better than nothing.

@sklaw31: 12 days AF right out of the gate? You go girl! I think I'll try the flavored balsalmic hack. As far as the Take a Break program. Rachel Hart has something like 150 podcasts on Spotify. That's where I started before I went all in. They average 30 minutes and you can pick and choose whatever topic seems to apply. After listening to a few you will get the gist of her approach (and no homework!).

Take care everyone and thank you - again!

dawnbgethealthy · May 2020

Doxmum wrote: »

AF 7/25 and 4/5 for Take a Break. Feel free to skip this post - it's not uplifting.

I had another husband-induced, massive urge to drink today. I held out for awhile but I finally caved and drank a can of 10% Brut bubbles (my go to). This time I did the deep dive into "Why did I want a drink so badly?" On reflection, I was in a lot of emotional pain because I think my husband is showing signs of cognitive decline. This is the first stage of dementia which will eventually progress to Alzheimer's or some other disabling neurodegenerative disease. The first signs are usually personality changes, irritability, short temper and impatience, along with pronounced short-term memory loss - all of which he is exhibiting. So I had a drink.

Did the drink help?

Not to make light of this, because it is terrible, but...that is exactly what happened to me in Menopause, all of the symptoms that you are listing. Hormones.
Could it be Andropause/Manopause?

Cognitive decline does happen as we age. There are definitely age-related neurophysiological changes. I listened to a science show about a month ago talking about how the volume of the Hippocampus shrinks with age.
Of course the advice to combat mental decline is exercise more, eat more fruits and vegetables, limit alcohol, quit smoking etc. etc. Sadly we humans are at our Cognitive best at 20 years of age.

I hope that you can get to the bottom of this, find out exactly what is happening by getting some testing done. Men are reluctant patients!

I am going to think positively and optimistically and hope that he just needs a B-12 shot.

This must be hard on you.

Hugs Hugs Hugs

shorepine · May 2020

Hey everyone, I'm sorry to say that I kind of lost my mojo over the last month!

Work has been so stressful with impending layoffs, and I just let myself slip back into old habits. I stopped logging in to MFP and started drinking again almost every night. Over the past 2 weeks I slowed it down a bit, and I've been drinking alcohol probably 4 nights a week. I am kind of calling May a bit of a wash as I didn't keep track of my behaviors and I know it wasn't pretty. More troubling than the drinking was the overeating, I coped by eating copious amounts of stuff like ice cream and chocolate.

Finally last week they announced the layoff plan, and I am not in the first batch of cuts, but I am in the second batch of cuts. I don't know if that is worse or better because now I'm in a terrible work environment for another few months with a continued sense of impending doom. I do seem to have gotten my act together. I got on the scale a few days ago and was not surprised to find that I gained 8 lbs in about a month and a half.

I'm going to definitely join the less alcohol group in June and hope for a comeback. I hope everyone is doing well!

globalhiker · May 2020

18 AF days/26 days...no drinks last night....already thinking about June and what new changes I can make. Maybe I am ready to quit counting AF days and not set any drinking "goals" because I am getting really good at achieving my goals -and then some- which gets me into trouble. I am going to move forward with not drinking as the default and track drink servings consumed for the month. My personal rule is that drinking is for celebrations only - not a remedy for pain, stress, boredom, anxiety, irritability, feeling bloated, exhaustion, sadness, etc.

@shorepine : it's great you are back ..... I believe you will find a new path, one that you deserve and is great for you.

I can relate to the sense of impending layoff doom - experienced this with my last employer. I opted to wait it out to collect a hefty severance. The personal cost was my dignity and sense of control. I should've jumped ship quickly and focused on what makes me happy. Lessons learned. At least, since my layoff, life has gotten much more peaceful and it feels good to be able to re-design my life once more, my way...

forestdweller1 · May 2020

Sigh....Can we have a June page now ?? I'm heartily sick of the way my May has gone.
Not trolling for hugs, just venting.

looneycatblue · May 2020

forestdweller1 wrote: »

Sigh....Can we have a June page now ?? I'm heartily sick of the way my May has gone.
Not trolling for hugs, just venting.

Even though you are not asking for one... here is a big Hug (((

)))

I am ready for June too!

looneycatblue · May 2020

Well I blew my "3 day" streak... last night was bad, had a tense "discussion" with Hubby, which always seems to be prompted by how his daughter feels about me. We have been together for 14 years, and she has always had issues with me, she doesn't want to share her Father, and finds every way possible to try to put a wedge between us. She has lost many so called best friends, because she causes trouble if they hang out or are friends with anyone else. I think she missed the early years of learning how to share. She is now a 25 year old immature teenager, and has to live with us because she has no money to move out. Her own Mother won't let her live with her, because she cannot get along with her Mom's Husband. I just don't know what to do or how much longer I will be able to deal with this. I love my Husband with all my heart, he is a very good man. I like how he tries to keep the peace in our home, but I don't like how he lets his daughter step all over him. We may need a marriage counselor, soon!

Sorry to dump this all on you... think I just needed to vent some. I don't expect tonight to be any better, so I need to come up with a plan so I don't dive into the bottle again. I will do the "6 minute rule", which I will stretch out to 10 minutes, since it seems I am a slow learner! If any of you have any other suggestions on how to avoid the bottle, I am all ears. Thank you for listening to my rant.

forestdweller1 · May 2020

@looneycatblue thanks for the hug, anyway !! Back attcha (((

)))

I used to write long letters about problems that seemed without solution...then rip & burn or flush before anyone else could see them. Like, IMMEDIATELY. Sometimes the writings spawned some good work arounds. At the very least I got to speak my mind without picking a fight or offending anyone.
Your comment about a counselor might be just the ticket. A pastor ? A trusted friend who could act as a life coach for your perpetual teenager ?
No money to move out ? Surely she has a job ? All my daughters flapped their way out of the nest by age 18, and landed feather side up, so I got no advice. They were "Children Of Divorce", and survived.

ventured into the beer store [first store of any kind] this week and replenished my AF beer supply. June will be looking up !!

Tesha231 · May 2020

@looneycatblue You didn't blow a streak, you set a personal record. In just 4 more days you can beat it! In any event, the idea is to drink less so you already did that for this month when you consider your first post mentioned you were drinking every day. Therefore, you are already a winner. Not sure how I would react in your situation with the Step as her behaviors are nothing you can control. You can control how you react to her behavior or your hub's response. I personally hate conflict and am one to give a response that is totally opposite of the way I feel. i.e.: smile or laugh instead of shout or cry; respond with a pleasant, "Well how about that?"; or - "You know, it's beautiful outside. Think I will go for a walk..." Sounds like you could use a big batch of endorphins right now. So that walk (away from the bottle) might be your best option. Hope this helps in some small way. Sheila

dawnbgethealthy · May 2020

globalhiker wrote: »

My personal rule is that drinking is for celebrations only - not a remedy for pain, stress, boredom, anxiety, irritability, feeling bloated, exhaustion, sadness, etc.

Well, yeah, but I think that this is why most of us are here, and the reasons why we use alcohol.
I recently had a few drinks for celebration, and it was lovely.
I am going to take what you said to heart. In the past (not since I got laid off) drinks were definitely stress, exhaustion, and anxiety relievers. Temporary fixes. Hmm.
Thanks for that. Your posts are always thought provoking.

dawnbgethealthy · May 2020

As usual, I am going to try for 16-20 AF days for the month.
My goal used to be 8AF days per month, I am pretty happy to try to cruise between 16-20 so as not to put too much pressure on myself. If I get more that is just gravy.
I managed 22AF days somehow in April!!
Thanks @MissMay for keeping us going : - )

Saturday May 16 - 3 drinks. Didn't make it to my 2 AF days in between, but no regrets whatsoever.
Sunday May 17 - AF - Felt like having drinks, but resisted.
Monday May 18 - AF - Fancied a drink, delayed enough times to resist.
Tuesday May 19 - AF - Felt like having drinks, also felt like having Ribs or Pizza, but didn't have any of those, I can have them another day.
Wednesday May 20 - AF - Another day of avoiding alcohol. I might have drinks tomorrow or Saturday, or both. Getting close to my 16AF days.
Thursday May 21 - 3 drinks. Rainy, cold and windy here. It was really nice to have a Cointreau mixed with Bailey's, and some Port Salut. Calling this a "cheat" day. Really nice.
Friday May 22 - AF - I felt rough all day from those 3 drinks last night. I guess that I am not used to it anymore.
Saturday May 23 - AF - I have some guys coming to work on my property tomorrow, so I want to be bright and alert. Otherwise I would have had drinks today.
Sunday May 24 - A bunch of drinks and music making with the work crew. Drinking some water now, hoping not to puke, and hoping not to feel like *kitten* tomorrow. I like the drinks while they are happening, but the after effects are not really good. Could be that I have grown to be not used to it anymore.
Monday May 25 - AF - I didn't feel great today after drinks yesterday. I pretty much don't eat during the daytime except for berries and coffee in the morning, so when I do indulge in alcohol it it usually on an empty stomach. I don't feel lousy the next day every time I have drinks, but moreso than I used to.
Tuesday Mary 26 - AF - Felt like having drinks after going very hard in my yard today. Yep, the 6 minute trick repeated quite a few times. As I look at my posts, I didn't feel well the next day the last 2 times out of 3 that I had drinks.
Wednesday May 27- 3 drinks. No particular reason except that I worked my butt off in my yard all day and felt like having a couple of drinks. Trying to accomplish as much as I can around the house and garden before I have to go back to work next Monday. Peppers and Tomatoes are all in the ground now : - )

19AF days out of 27 days so far

Doxmum · May 2020

A quick check-in since it's so late (got to talking to family in Alaska - they're 2 hrs behind out time). AF9/27 and 6/7 on Take a Break. That said, @shorepine: Sooo glad you are back with us. I've been thinking of you and hoping things were OK. @dawnbgethealthy: Yes, the drink did help. And yes, men can be reluctant and very stubborn patients. And they won't ask for help! @forestdweller1: Hugs all around, trolling or otherwise. @looneycatblue: No apologies for venting (have you read any of my posts?). Your living situation sounds complicated. I'm so sorry. Keep checking in with us though. You will find this group (I did) hugely supportive.

Less Alcohol - MAY 2020 - One Day at a Time

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