Being stuck. Demotivated.
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UmaMageswarymfp
Posts: 280 Member
Heyy y’all . I need some motivation / advice. It’s been 2 months now and my big target is right now to hit 107kg but I’m being stuck at 111kg. Always fluctuating from 110-111.5kg. It’s so frustrating cause everytime I see I hit 109.9 kg on the scale I get overexcited and unintentionally jeopardize it by cheat meal or just being lazy. The next day I’d weigh and it’ll be around 10.5kg. I get frustrated again and then continue to cheat for 2 days. Again it’ll go back to 111kg-111.5 kg . Then I’ll find my motivation again to workout / eat properly in order to get to 109 again. This cycle has repeated 4 times and I’m so effing tired of it. Is there any way I can break this cycle. I’m losing so much motivation and I’m afraid one day I’ll be like screw it im never gonna hit 107kg and start binging. Pls help me. I don’t wanna ever go back to 130kg.
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Replies
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Personally I don't believe in "cheat meals". I think if you reread your OP yourself you may see exactly where the problem is. Perhaps you should only weigh once a month.8
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snowflake954 wrote: »Personally I don't believe in "cheat meals". I think if you reread your OP yourself you may see exactly where the problem is. Perhaps you should only weigh once a month.
That's a good idea. Maybe weigh even less than that.
If you're good at logging your food, and what is throwing you out of whack is the number on the scale, remove the thing that is throwing you out of whack. Use measurements or progress pictures rather than the scale to monitor your progress.12 -
If looking at a specific number on the scale is causing you to sabotage your own progress, then that's what you need to address. Weigh less often or work on decoupling that emotional reaction to seeing that number.7
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It sounds like you are using that 109kg figure as an excuse to go off the rails. You need to figure out why it is that you want to go off the rails in the first place. That's the real issue.
You need to make sustainable changes to your eating habits that you can maintain going forward, not just reach a goal and then go back to what you were doing before that got you to the place you don't ever want to go back to (130kg).
You can eat whatever you want anytime you want. There's no such thing as a "cheat meal". What you call a "cheat meal" is what most people would classify as a "really high calorie meal that throws me WAY over my calories". There are a few ways to handle that without blowing your goals out of the water. First, you can "bank" calories for a few days ahead of time to "save up" for a big meal. So if you want to have a 2,000 calorie blow-out then eat at a 300 calorie per day deficit for 4 days or so to "earn" an extra 1,200 calories later. See how that works? Second, you can just have a version of that meal that fits into your daily goal. For example, tonight I'm going out for burgers with the family. Instead of getting the 900 calorie bacon-cheese-triple-patty-loaded-calorie-bomb version, i'll order a plain single burger with a salad that fits into my goal for the day. I get a burger, I get to scratch my fast food itch, and I don't destroy my goals for the day.
You need to figure out ways to cope with your weight, food intake, and your emotional responses to them. THAT'S the real challenge for pretty much every single person that comes to this website. But you have to figure out YOUR best practice and what works for YOU.
Best of luck to you! You can do this!13 -
I'd echo the good advice above to weigh less often.
Also, are you rewarding yourself for hitting 109.9 with food or are you so relieved to have gotten there because you're starving?
If its the former then maybe try saying to yourself when you hit a mini goal you'll get your nails done or something else you enjoy that isn't food related as a reward. If its because you're struggling with hunger maybe re-evaluate how quickly you're losing. Better to get there slower than not at all.6 -
It sounds like you are using that 109kg figure as an excuse to go off the rails. You need to figure out why it is that you want to go off the rails in the first place. That's the real issue.
You need to make sustainable changes to your eating habits that you can maintain going forward, not just reach a goal and then go back to what you were doing before that got you to the place you don't ever want to go back to (130kg).
You can eat whatever you want anytime you want. There's no such thing as a "cheat meal". What you call a "cheat meal" is what most people would classify as a "really high calorie meal that throws me WAY over my calories". There are a few ways to handle that without blowing your goals out of the water. First, you can "bank" calories for a few days ahead of time to "save up" for a big meal. So if you want to have a 2,000 calorie blow-out then eat at a 300 calorie per day deficit for 4 days or so to "earn" an extra 1,200 calories later. See how that works? Second, you can just have a version of that meal that fits into your daily goal. For example, tonight I'm going out for burgers with the family. Instead of getting the 900 calorie bacon-cheese-triple-patty-loaded-calorie-bomb version, i'll order a plain single burger with a salad that fits into my goal for the day. I get a burger, I get to scratch my fast food itch, and I don't destroy my goals for the day.
You need to figure out ways to cope with your weight, food intake, and your emotional responses to them. THAT'S the real challenge for pretty much every single person that comes to this website. But you have to figure out YOUR best practice and what works for YOU.
Best of luck to you! You can do this!
Yeah, it took me a bit to figure out there is really no such thing as a "cheat meal." Your body is going to recognize the calories no matter what I'm telling myself. There are a variety of ways around this. You can choose to bank calories, you can choose to eat a bit less the few days following, you can limit your number of really high calories days to a number that is statistically meaningless over the course of a year, but what you can't do is just decide "well, it's a cheat day so it doesn't matter."
I personally find it much more sustainable to figure out ways to make the foods I love fit into my regular life (like you're doing with the burger and salad tonight). Not only does this eliminate the swings often associated with "cheat days," it makes hitting my calorie goals overall much easier (because I'm regularly eating things that I enjoy).4 -
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »Heyy y’all . I need some motivation / advice. It’s been 2 months now and my big target is right now to hit 107kg but I’m being stuck at 111kg. Always fluctuating from 110-111.5kg. It’s so frustrating cause everytime I see I hit 109.9 kg on the scale I get overexcited and unintentionally jeopardize it by cheat meal or just being lazy. The next day I’d weigh and it’ll be around 10.5kg. I get frustrated again and then continue to cheat for 2 days. Again it’ll go back to 111kg-111.5 kg . Then I’ll find my motivation again to workout / eat properly in order to get to 109 again. This cycle has repeated 4 times and I’m so effing tired of it. Is there any way I can break this cycle. I’m losing so much motivation and I’m afraid one day I’ll be like screw it im never gonna hit 107kg and start binging. Pls help me. I don’t wanna ever go back to 130kg.
Stop focusing on your weight and focus on why you want a "cheat" meal at all.
Each and every time I see someone mention a cheat meal the first though that goes through my head is that they not losing sustainably. The reason is the term cheat. It suggests that you need to relax or blow off steam from rigid or aggressive choices. That is always what it meant for me.
I agree with the others that perhaps the scale is getting the better of you but I would also bet that you need to find a balance between enjoying your life and losing weight that works better for you. It may mean losing even slower and it may mean including more food choices through creative calorie management.
If you can continue eventually you will get to the end of the weight loss phase and if you have not learned how to live a weight management lifestyle you will be at risk of regaining.8 -
Nativestar56 wrote: »I'd echo the good advice above to weigh less often.
Also, are you rewarding yourself for hitting 109.9 with food or are you so relieved to have gotten there because you're starving?
If its the former then maybe try saying to yourself when you hit a mini goal you'll get your nails done or something else you enjoy that isn't food related as a reward. If its because you're struggling with hunger maybe re-evaluate how quickly you're losing. Better to get there slower than not at all.
Because I simply like to overeat every meal , over my calories. Plus I’m Asian I eat rice with almost every meal. 1 cup rice is 300 calories and I can easily eat 3 cups. I restrict myself from eating too much rice so I only eat 1 cup. On my “cheat” day . I tend to go ham on the rice and maybe Kfc plate. I always find myself doing this as soon as I hit 109.9 cause I feel skinny . In fact I still have 30kgs to lose.3 -
snowflake954 wrote: »Personally I don't believe in "cheat meals". I think if you reread your OP yourself you may see exactly where the problem is. Perhaps you should only weigh once a month.
I weigh every morning with an empty stomach. I know I’m insane0 -
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »Personally I don't believe in "cheat meals". I think if you reread your OP yourself you may see exactly where the problem is. Perhaps you should only weigh once a month.
I weigh every morning with an empty stomach. I know I’m insane
There's nothing necessarily *wrong* with weighing first thing every morning (I do the same thing), the key is whether or not it is impacting you negatively (and it sounds like it may be doing this for you).7 -
It sounds like you are using that 109kg figure as an excuse to go off the rails. You need to figure out why it is that you want to go off the rails in the first place. That's the real issue.
You need to make sustainable changes to your eating habits that you can maintain going forward, not just reach a goal and then go back to what you were doing before that got you to the place you don't ever want to go back to (130kg).
You can eat whatever you want anytime you want. There's no such thing as a "cheat meal". What you call a "cheat meal" is what most people would classify as a "really high calorie meal that throws me WAY over my calories". There are a few ways to handle that without blowing your goals out of the water. First, you can "bank" calories for a few days ahead of time to "save up" for a big meal. So if you want to have a 2,000 calorie blow-out then eat at a 300 calorie per day deficit for 4 days or so to "earn" an extra 1,200 calories later. See how that works? Second, you can just have a version of that meal that fits into your daily goal. For example, tonight I'm going out for burgers with the family. Instead of getting the 900 calorie bacon-cheese-triple-patty-loaded-calorie-bomb version, i'll order a plain single burger with a salad that fits into my goal for the day. I get a burger, I get to scratch my fast food itch, and I don't destroy my goals for the day.
You need to figure out ways to cope with your weight, food intake, and your emotional responses to them. THAT'S the real challenge for pretty much every single person that comes to this website. But you have to figure out YOUR best practice and what works for YOU.
Best of luck to you! You can do this!
Thank you for this amazing post but i have this mentality where if I cheat that day it’s already ruined. I’ll eat as I wish for the day and start back another day. So it’s like I’ll pushhh until my willpower goes off then I’ll cheat and get back again . Sigh2 -
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »Nativestar56 wrote: »I'd echo the good advice above to weigh less often.
Also, are you rewarding yourself for hitting 109.9 with food or are you so relieved to have gotten there because you're starving?
If its the former then maybe try saying to yourself when you hit a mini goal you'll get your nails done or something else you enjoy that isn't food related as a reward. If its because you're struggling with hunger maybe re-evaluate how quickly you're losing. Better to get there slower than not at all.
Because I simply like to overeat every meal , over my calories. Plus I’m Asian I eat rice with almost every meal. 1 cup rice is 300 calories and I can easily eat 3 cups. I restrict myself from eating too much rice so I only eat 1 cup. On my “cheat” day . I tend to go ham on the rice and maybe Kfc plate. I always find myself doing this as soon as I hit 109.9 cause I feel skinny . In fact I still have 30kgs to lose.
Most of us who were obese/overweight enjoyed overeating every meal. You certainly aren't alone. Left to my own devices, I'd also choose to overeat every meal because I like eating lots of food and I love the feeling of being full. Three cups of rice plus whatever else I was eating . . . yeah, I've been there.
I just decided I liked keeping my weight in a certain range more and came up with strategies to get around it. I'll still have foods like rice, I just make sure they fit into my calorie goal. And I make sure to fill up the rest of the meal with foods that fill me up (for me, that's lots of vegetables along with some protein).5 -
janejellyroll wrote: »UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »Nativestar56 wrote: »I'd echo the good advice above to weigh less often.
Also, are you rewarding yourself for hitting 109.9 with food or are you so relieved to have gotten there because you're starving?
If its the former then maybe try saying to yourself when you hit a mini goal you'll get your nails done or something else you enjoy that isn't food related as a reward. If its because you're struggling with hunger maybe re-evaluate how quickly you're losing. Better to get there slower than not at all.
Because I simply like to overeat every meal , over my calories. Plus I’m Asian I eat rice with almost every meal. 1 cup rice is 300 calories and I can easily eat 3 cups. I restrict myself from eating too much rice so I only eat 1 cup. On my “cheat” day . I tend to go ham on the rice and maybe Kfc plate. I always find myself doing this as soon as I hit 109.9 cause I feel skinny . In fact I still have 30kgs to lose.
Most of us who were obese/overweight enjoyed overeating every meal. You certainly aren't alone. Left to my own devices, I'd also choose to overeat every meal because I like eating lots of food and I love the feeling of being full. Three cups of rice plus whatever else I was eating . . . yeah, I've been there.
I just decided I liked keeping my weight in a certain range more and came up with strategies to get around it. I'll still have foods like rice, I just make sure they fit into my calorie goal. And I make sure to fill up the rest of the meal with foods that fill me up (for me, that's lots of vegetables along with some protein).
Yeah I’ve been consuming lots of protein and fiber. That’s how I lost some weight but recently idk what it is. I find it hard to keep the weight off at 109. As soon as it shows I get very proud and this boost of serotonin and then I’ll be like “as long as I don’t hit 112kg” you’re good. With that excuse in my head I eat high calorie food for 2/3 days until I realize how I wasted all the hardwork by binging and now I have to lose the weight I gain to hit 109 againnn. It’s sooooo tiring0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »Personally I don't believe in "cheat meals". I think if you reread your OP yourself you may see exactly where the problem is. Perhaps you should only weigh once a month.
I weigh every morning with an empty stomach. I know I’m insane
There's nothing necessarily *wrong* with weighing first thing every morning (I do the same thing), the key is whether or not it is impacting you negatively (and it sounds like it may be doing this for you).
It defo is , I groan when the scale doesn’t show certain loss. If I weigh everyday it’s impacting me negatively but if I DONT I’d be binging and pretend like I’m still in my 110-112kg. I’m exposing how my brain thinks and I feel so uncomfortable sharing this hut I hope I get some advice I can use0 -
Have you read this article, @umamageswarymfp?
http://physiqonomics.com/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-weight-and-fluctuations
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Uma, you're human.
Those neural pathways in our brains have been laying down tracks since the day we were born. They will fight against us when we start making changes of any kind. The brain is basically a lazy sonuvagun that will always take the pathway of least resistance. The brain wants to keep the status quo so it doesn't have to think about what it's doing.
The brain doesn't want us to moderate ourselves with food or portions. Ahhh, hail to the nooo. The brain enjoys coasting on its laurels eating all the things it's always enjoyed without any consequences. Flip the Switch. Learn how to surf the urges. Urge surfing.
There will be times we have to continue riding on our boogie boards until we can make it into the shoreline. Intact. Urges for
food, shopping...whatever your urge - are waves that rise in intensity, peak and eventually crash into the shoreline. In the beginning, these urges usually peak within 20-30 minutes. Then the urge will crash or subside.
It takes practice not to keep giving into them with more immediate food reward gratification. You can ride those waves, Uma. Ride, ride, ride until the waves crash into the shoreline. Stay on that boogie board. I cannot prognosticate how long you're going to have to ride but as time goes on you will feel and act according to your goals and values instead of according to the urges for the things you don't really want.
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Diatonic12 wrote: »Uma, you're human.
Those neural pathways in our brains have been laying down tracks since the day we were born. They will fight against us when we start making changes of any kind. The brain is basically a lazy sonuvagun that will always take the pathway of least resistance. The brain wants to keep the status quo so it doesn't have to think about what it's doing.
The brain doesn't want us to moderate ourselves with food or portions. Ahhh, hail to the nooo. The brain enjoys coasting on its laurels eating all the things it's always enjoyed without any consequences. Flip the Switch. Learn how to surf the urges. Urge surfing.
There will be times we have to continue riding on our boogie boards until we can make it into the shoreline. Intact. Urges for
food, shopping...whatever your urge - are waves that rise in intensity, peak and eventually crash into the shoreline. In the beginning, these urges usually peak within 20-30 minutes. Then the urge will crash or subside.
It takes practice not to keep giving into them with more immediate food reward gratification. You can ride those waves, Uma. Ride, ride, ride until the waves crash into the shoreline. Stay on that boogie board. I cannot prognosticate how long you're going to have to ride but as time goes on you will feel and act according to your goals and values instead of according to the urges for the things you don't really want.
It’s just so exhausting when I have to go through it again and again 🥺😭1 -
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »Diatonic12 wrote: »Uma, you're human.
Those neural pathways in our brains have been laying down tracks since the day we were born. They will fight against us when we start making changes of any kind. The brain is basically a lazy sonuvagun that will always take the pathway of least resistance. The brain wants to keep the status quo so it doesn't have to think about what it's doing.
The brain doesn't want us to moderate ourselves with food or portions. Ahhh, hail to the nooo. The brain enjoys coasting on its laurels eating all the things it's always enjoyed without any consequences. Flip the Switch. Learn how to surf the urges. Urge surfing.
There will be times we have to continue riding on our boogie boards until we can make it into the shoreline. Intact. Urges for
food, shopping...whatever your urge - are waves that rise in intensity, peak and eventually crash into the shoreline. In the beginning, these urges usually peak within 20-30 minutes. Then the urge will crash or subside.
It takes practice not to keep giving into them with more immediate food reward gratification. You can ride those waves, Uma. Ride, ride, ride until the waves crash into the shoreline. Stay on that boogie board. I cannot prognosticate how long you're going to have to ride but as time goes on you will feel and act according to your goals and values instead of according to the urges for the things you don't really want.
It’s just so exhausting when I have to go through it again and again 🥺😭
But that's just it--you don't have to. If you can't find a coping mechanism then consider counseling to help you.2 -
@UmaMageswarymfp You're going to get there. Experience is the best teacher.1
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Diatonic12 wrote: »@UmaMageswarymfp You're going to get there. Experience is the best teacher.
This is sooo deep and true! Thank you 🥺😭0
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