"No offense, but you're getting kinda big."

JenG20
JenG20 Posts: 14 Member
in Chit-Chat
Recently got this comment from a family member. It definitely caught me off guard. Not sure if anyone has been in a similar situation. If so how did you handle this?

Replies

  • harper16
    harper16 Posts: 2,564 Member
    edited June 2020
    Punch them in the throat, and say no offense but you're a (fill in the blank with your favorite curse word.)

    Ok. I've gotten this and I choose to ignore it. Most of my weight gain was caused by my doing fertility treatments, and we felt like that was our business.
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  • JenG20
    JenG20 Posts: 14 Member
    harper16 wrote: »
    Punch them in the throat, and say no offense but you're a (fill in the blank with your favorite curse word.)

    Ok. I've gotten this and I choose to ignore it. Most of my weight gain was caused by my doing fertility treatments, and we felt like that was our business.

    Hahaha! I only gave a one word response. But afterwards I couldn't stop thinking about it? It came from someone who is actually loosing weight so I would've thought they'd be a bit supportive on my journey? I'm now trying not to stress out about it and just do me. lol
  • _sw33tp3a_11
    _sw33tp3a_11 Posts: 4,692 Member
    I have been in a similar situation. In that moment I lost respect for that person. If you have a forgiving heart just forgiving them for their ignorance and move on. If you're getting big or small it shouldn't matter to the next person. That's your choice and you live your life however the *kitten* you want.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    Some people have absolutely no filter and no thoughts of others' feelings. :( My 87 yo neighbor is like that and on numerous occasions has remarked on my weight, whether it had gone up or down. I lit right into him. Believe me, he deserved it because he's said lots of inappropriate things to me so now, instead of worrying about being *nice* to him because of his age, I just tell him how it is. And to the disagrees coming, you'd have to know this person, then you'd understand.

    My dh can be clueless like that as well, which isn't nearly so easy to address. But his whole family(8 sibs, but it's mostly the 4 men)is like that also. They always have a comment about people's weight, or whatever they think might be funny to themselves at the moment. :( I've been on the receiving end of it, as well as 1 of my dds. :( We don't see my dd often :( but during 1 of her recent trips home, she said something about taking pictures and dh commented it must've been a wide angle lens. She just simply said 'that was rude', to which he said yes, it was.
    Some people make everybody's business their business and others think rude thoughtless remarks can be funny, neither of which is true. But so very unfortunately, once something gets said, it's hard to forget it. :(

    Please try not to let a stupid comment dictate who you are. You are more than what they think.
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  • dekrugermolly
    dekrugermolly Posts: 26 Member
    That is way out of line! You need to stick up for yourself, my mom has comments almost everytime I go there and I always say “I didn’t come here to be called fat” and she drops it instantly. Some people think they have good intentions but we all own a mirror. We can see our body change and we don’t need or want reminders. You are doing great. It’s quarantine and I’m sure the majority of us are on the thicker side right now, I know I am. If you don’t stick up for yourself then who will? You got this.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    edited June 2020
    JenG20 wrote: »
    harper16 wrote: »
    Punch them in the throat, and say no offense but you're a (fill in the blank with your favorite curse word.)

    Ok. I've gotten this and I choose to ignore it. Most of my weight gain was caused by my doing fertility treatments, and we felt like that was our business.

    Hahaha! I only gave a one word response. But afterwards I couldn't stop thinking about it? It came from someone who is actually loosing weight so I would've thought they'd be a bit supportive on my journey? I'm now trying not to stress out about it and just do me. lol

    My catty petty response would be to wait until she does a diet rebound and say the same thing to her. :/ But I can be petty and catty that way. Lol
    This is why I prefer dogs to people most of the time. Have no clue what they're thinking but they accept you and love you no matter what. :)
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    I would just change the subject or walk away. I don't really care about other people's opinions on how I look since my goal is for me specifically.

    Some people just want to impose their thoughts or beliefs on you as a reaction of a insecurity of their own.

    If brought up again I would smile and walk away excusing myself from their thoughts, they can seek other avenues of people to share their unwelcome thoughts.
  • Dakase83
    Dakase83 Posts: 2,524 Member
    I would have replied with something like "well no offense, but you're a dick"
  • thelastnightingale
    thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
    "No offence, but you're getting kinda mean."
  • allycs85
    allycs85 Posts: 40 Member
    My response would highly depend on the context of the conversation. If they said it to be mean then responding in a catty way would only leave them feeling validated.
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    Now contrast this with other posts that say "I didn't realize how big I was getting. Why didn't anyone tell me?"
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  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    killin_tyme wrote: »
    Jruzer wrote: »
    Now contrast this with other posts that say "I didn't realize how big I was getting. Why didn't anyone tell me?"

    It's all in the delivery, my friend. Sensitive subjects can be delivered (should be) with kid gloves.

    Sure, you're right about that. But it could be in the reception rather than the delivery.

    And I feel where the OP is coming from. When I was near my heaviest, my great uncle told me straight out in a room full of people that I was the "fattest one in the Jruzer family", and that obviously was not meant as a gentle encouragement. It sucked, and hurt. But I wasn't about to insult (or punch in the throat - really?) my 80-year-old WW2-veteran great uncle, either.
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  • Hollis100
    Hollis100 Posts: 1,408 Member
    Zoomie402 wrote: »
    Then the other day she called to ask what size I’m wearing now 🙄

    "Not as big as your mouth."

    >:)
  • WildlyCurly
    WildlyCurly Posts: 151 Member
    Just ignore it and say, "thanks for noticing"... Sometimes I like to throw in "I am working on my winter body." Life is too short to give any Fs.

    I have been called fat so many times by family members, even to this day at only 124 pounds and a size 4/6... When I introduced my fiancé to my family, one cousin asked me if he was blind, and another said that I am so lucky thick girls are trending. Just last week my mom said she was concerned that I wouldn't be able to find a wedding dress in my size, and questioned if the church was large enough for me to fit down the aisle. I used to be obese and I think people like family still see me that way, but even when I was a size 18/20 I would still be able to find a dress and certainly fit down an aisle. WTF? Once my Aunt even questioned if I was able to fit through a subway turnstile in NYC, and that was when I weighed 145 lb. I bet she still thinks I can't fit. Geez... So moral of the story, just ignore all comments about your size.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Don't let any of those comments grind you down. Try to keep it in neutral and not be swayed by flattery or wounded by harsh criticism. Super-egos enjoy making others feel small. I can spot them a mile away.
  • JustCallMeWhatever
    JustCallMeWhatever Posts: 125 Member
    JenG20 wrote: »
    Recently got this comment from a family member. It definitely caught me off guard. Not sure if anyone has been in a similar situation. If so how did you handle this?

    Challenge accepted.

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