Why do people give up?
Replies
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Being overweight is hard, and dieting is hard. People pick their hard.5
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Aside from a medical barrier I believe the issue comes down to SMART.
People get lost in thier journey. They set out goals that are not
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Reaslistic
Timely
Any time you set a goal each one of these is crucial to your success. Set SMART goals that you can attain and set progress within the required reward, motivation cycle for your personality. If you need daily reward satisfaction your goals need to be task based. If you are more patient your reward can be monthly challenge based. If you are single minded and visionary you can set long term goals to a target.
Know yourself and set appropriate SMART goals that lead to your finish line.
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I can't remember ever getting discouraged or saying "forget it" on one of my various past diets (which always eventually entailed regain and then some).
I remember needing a break and feeling that I deserve one, which I did, because I lost 20-30 pounds quite a few times, and that takes work and discipline, and you deserve a treat when you are disciplined and hard-working for, say, 3 solid months without a break.
So I would take a day off, perfectly reasonable, and I wouldn't even indulge that badly in gluttony; I'd tell myself I'd learned new skills and, look at my reasonable food choices, I can easily handle a time-out! Then the next morning, it would be like, "I just need one more day, I've got this under control, obviously. You can't deprive yourself till the end of time. I'll get back on the horse tomorrow." And I would proceed to buy allllll the stuff I'd been denying myself the last three months - pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni, beef brisket, cheesesteak subs, and chocolate, so much chocolate. Not all at once, of course. First a pizza, then "this day is shot, I need some Nutty Butty's", then "Last chance to have that brisket before..."
By that night I'd be stuffed like a pinata, but then there would still be some delicious leftovers in the fridge, so the next morning, I wouldn't want to get on the scale and see the damage, and I couldn't just throw the brisket out, so .... "one more day". By then it'd be like Friday night and I'd think, "fresh start on Monday morning", and head to the store to top off the junk food supply, which by then would be getting light in certain key areas such as chocolate or queso for the chips. Monday would roll around but it'd be the 27th of the month, and I'd think "Fresh start on the 1st". On the first I knew deep-down the whole thing was over but I'd still go through the motions and diet for a day or two before heading out for junk food. A year later I would be 15-20 pounds heavier than when I started.
So, no, I never, ever got discouraged. I over-celebrated LOL But in reality, it wasn't a celebration; it was just an excuse to revert to bad behaviors.
So I've been dieting for 11 months now. I have a few rules but only one that's iron-clad. NO MATTER WHAT happens on any one day, it's over at 11:59 pm. Next day, I get up, get on the scale, hop on the exercise machine, log my day into MFP, and it starts all over again. In 11 months, I have never not gotten on the scale in the morning, and the only time I skip a workout is if I'm sick or injured. Otherwise, it's scale - workout - eat right. Every day. Except the occasional binge-day but that ends promptly and completely at 11:59 and then it's back on the horse. That is what changed everything for me. I also credit IF and my MFP diary and a number of other things with making my diet easier, but starting over every single morning, beginning with the scale no matter how terrifying, was the game-changer.13 -
for me, being pregnant and it not being safe to lose weight while pregnant. And then being on meds and breastfeeding and hormonal for over a year after (only applicable for my second child). Being too tired. Family pressure can also be hard. That being said, I've always been successful outside of pregnancy and breastfeeding. And I'm on my path to successful now too. (Lost weight pre-babies, after 1st baby, and now working on after second baby).2
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No idea why others give up. We're all individuals and each individual is different.
The greatest reason that I give up is because results aren't fast enough or linear. I fell off a plateau (198 Lb) where I languished for two weeks. In three days I've put on two pounds.
Second excuse is that for most of my life I had to consume nearly 3000 calries/day or I lost weight. When that changed I packed on 70 pounds in about six months. I've so many bad habits to break that some days I just say fork it and pig out.
Underlying health conditions contribute to my lack of success, but they are minor compared to my personal habits.- Move More
- Eat Less
- Eat Better
One day at a time.1 - Move More
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Lack of knowledge and results....3
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For me, it was the stress of having too much on my “life” plate. I’m a single parent, two kids, had returned to school to get my Masters, and was working full time. Something had to give... which, unfortunately, ended up being my diet/tracking lifestyle.
I had lost 20lbs (out of my 30lb goal), but gained 10lbs back. When I tried my jeans on the other day (because quarantine sweat pants are life), and they were tight, I knew that I needed to come back here.
I’m still a single parent with two kids, but I’m working full time and won’t be returning to school for my PhD. I managed to track and lose weight like this before, and I will do it again.2 -
I don't think I ever gave up per say, it was more that other things in life started to take precedence over paying attention to what I was eating in combination with an overuse injury that made it very difficult to burn calories with exercise, so over the course of 12-15 weeks, 20 lbs came back on pretty swiftly and I was suddenly obese again.
It's hard to care about 20 extra lbs when debt, job loss, family illness, emotional turmoil are at the forefront of your mind. Truly what's important - staying at a low weight/losing more weight, or focusing on resolving emotional and financial personal problems? I'd say the latter.
What's important is to just be kind to yourself and know this is a process and it's not about the destination, it's a lifelong journey. Even when I was consistently thin I was never the same exact weight. I weighed between 125 - 140 lbs (normal range for my height) from ages 18 - 34, my thinnest at age 30.
Right now I'm back to tracking because 1-My life is stable right now due to coronavirus (ironically) and 2- I'd like to get back consistently into that range. Creating these good habits now, while I'm emotionally and financially in the position to do so will only help me later in life when I have more downs than ups. And if I'm at 125 lbs, and have a "down", then gaining 20 lbs isn't a huge deal. It's "loseable" and it's still in my normal/healthy weight range.1 -
Impatience, some laziness, too much information gets confusing.
I stopped using MFP last time because it kept telling me I wasn't eating enough.... but I wasn't losing weight, despite not eating much and exercising more...... it ended up being my thyroid.... but I honestly thought I was eating too much at 1000 calories, if that, a day....
So, I'm doing this again, but throwing out everything I think I know (my life of fad diets and misinformation) and just tracking what I eat, keeping within my range of calories and staying active.
I want to see an immediate loss.... but I know that's not how it works.. so I need to remain patient, keep active, stay the course.4 -
I like food. I like lots of food. I enjoy eating. I've been overweight since childhood -- from eating too much. I eat healthy foods, just too much of them. I'd rather eat with reckless abandon than watch how much I eat like a hawk.
I don't recommend being fat your entire adult life. It did me no favors socially, psychologically, or physically. Now, however, I better stick with it because it's catching up with me physically and I'm hubby's caretaker. If I die or become incapacitated he's up the proverbial estuary without a visible means of propulsion.
We've got a good life and I'd like to keep it into our 90s.6 -
because it is hard to be consistent and people are impatient. and consistency is required for weight loss.2
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Successful weight loss is extremely difficult. The success rate is quite low.2
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I gave up countless times because I used dieting to punish myself for being not good enough (in my eyes). I'd restrict calories massively - I tried cycling diets where I add 200 calories one day 400 the next then all the way up to a whopping 1000 then start the cycle again. I'd do liquid diets. Those sort of things. Why? Because I felt I didn't deserve food. It had to be painful and hard because I was a stupid fat slob. They inevitably crashed and burnt as the second I broke any "rules" I'd end up on a big binge.
What changed for me was I got some therapy and started to feel better about myself. I also think the inclusion of exercise was huge. Food stopped being good or bad or something to resist it became health and energy.5 -
Depression and anxiety.
Those have been my 2 biggest demons when it comes to sticking to the plan. Which is a bit ironic because the better I ate, the better those would get in general. But then something big would happen to throw me off. My mom passing, my dad passing, super stress with a job, Covid-19... you get the idea.7 -
I know this question has been asked before here in the archives but I'm asking for 2020. Feel free to offer your personal experience.
Why do people typically give up their weight loss efforts? What makes people get discouraged to the point they say 'forget it'?
And then on the other end, what finally worked for you? What mindset did you take on that made the difference and led to success with (edit: sustainable) weight loss?
I ask because I'm feeling impatient right now.
because people don't always find a way out of the situation0 -
In the past I have given up when I felt really kicked around by life. For example, when I ruptured my ACL and couldn’t exercise, when I was in a lot of pain from lupus, when I had to move home to help care for my father after his stroke, when my husband got his dream job but then the company went bankrupt after we had made plans for the money we were going to be making. Feeling like life is unfair and so it’s not fair that I can’t eat whatever I want to and at least get some pleasure out of that. The other factor was wanting to eat the same way my husband eats (and left to himself he eats like a child.)
What changed this time was a diabetes diagnosis which was discovered when I was in the hospital with an ovarian torsion caused by a giant tumor. The tumor turned out to be benign but I was very, very sick and the stress sent my blood sugar through the roof. I had blurred vision, my extremities hurt, and I lost twenty-five pounds in a month because my stress hormones were completely blocking my insulin from metabolizing food. It became very clear to me that I needed to get my diabetes under control or I was going to die. So I went home from the hospital and changed literally everything about my life.
Some people on the forum say that small, gradual changes to diet and lifestyle work best. Well, maybe they do for those people, but that is not what I did. I changed everything. I knew that I couldn’t continue to live a stress-filled life where food was my primary source of comfort and pleasure. I got a new job and said goodbye to the boss who made me cry with frustration and their evil payroll company which made me beg them to send my check every month while I wondered if they would get around to it before my bills came due. I told my husband that about five different things he does, or fails to do, had happened for the last time. These were big, long-standing problems which had caused trouble in our marriage for decades. I completely redid my kitchen, patio, living room, and bedroom, so that my house was much more pleasant to live, eat, and cook in. I looked for new activities to enjoy that weren’t going out to eat. I started walking, then running, and lifting weights, and being active every day. And I figured out a way of eating which I enjoy which is much more healthy.
Four years on, I am normal BMI with normal a1c levels, controlled by diet and exercise. I run races and even win my age group at local 5Ks sometimes. I can deadlift and squat my body weight. I used to be a person who couldn’t easily walk to the mailbox. My husband is now a friend and supporter instead of a source of stress. I like most things about my life, and when I want to do something to self-comfort in times of stress, I dance to music instead of eating. It’s better this way, so why would I go back?4 -
Impatience and expecting FAST and constant results can be very disheartening. Feeling like "I'm doing all this work but have nothing to show for it" can then lead to "why bother?" reasoning.
For me it finally made sense when I 'realized' that weight loss was all about numbers and science and cals in vs cals out. That realization may not work for everyone, of course. Even once I understood it still took some trial efforts to get myself into a routine. And for me, it was also coming to understand that my own nature is to be lazy so I needed to fight that. To make plans, choose to be more active, etc. Which is going to be a lifelong process, I know. Because it is easy to fall into a rut of failing to plan, and then just doing whatever, and 3-6 months later: I'm unhappy with how my clothes fit and I'm motivated to get back in control.I know this question has been asked before here in the archives but I'm asking for 2020. Feel free to offer your personal experience.
Why do people typically give up their weight loss efforts? What makes people get discouraged to the point they say 'forget it'?
And then on the other end, what finally worked for you? What mindset did you take on that made the difference and led to success with (edit: sustainable) weight loss?
I ask because I'm feeling impatient right now.
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I think a lot of people try to change too much too fast. Taking away everything you love and going all in can often times backfire. I have friends on here who have done that, and never let themselves have a treat, and exercise an incredible amount, so that they've got these huge 800-1000 deficits every day, and don't eat any of that back. They're hungry and they're unhappily missing "treats." It's just too much to be able to keep up as a lifestyle change. And to keep the weight off, it's GOT to be a lifestyle change.
I think gradual changes to tweak both exercise and food is the way to go. Improve one habit, then another, and then another until you're at a place that gets you to a healthy weight, and makes you happy and keeps you satisfied. And then keep that up for life! Don't do anything you're not going to be willing to do for the rest of your life!0 -
For me...
I see everyone else around me enjoying chocolates,biscuits and junk food...and I think oh one won’t hurt and then it ends up being another one the next day and the next
I’ve realised at work I eat too much junk...so I’ve started to take my own food in rather than go the cafe and so far (2 weeks dieting) I’ve lost 4lb xx
So it’s great...I’ve just replaced cafe food for healthy options or lower calorie and I feel better for it in myself
and then I have junk food on another day x 1
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