Omg!!! Here I go again!!

Hello friends...I am back.... struggling yet again and even harder since the covid began....I am 46 years old and 5'2"...I am not very active...but have many things I can do including elliptical machine and small weights and bands...all that....I am still struggling with motivation....I know I am the only one to do this...I want food to not be such a friend (or is that a bad way to look at it?) I also know that if I lose my first few pounds...I will feel better and have more energy to accomplish more....it's the motivation I am seriously lacking...I am a stay at wife and caregiver for my mother and just find it so easy just to do bare minimum and sit down and watch television....I don't eat alot...but what I eat and no exercise make it really add up and I feel so down....for some reason I keep looking at losing weight as a horrid job or like going to the dentist....hahaha....but seriously I need to change my outlook and become more positive....I just want to feel better again....I want to be around a long time!!!!