Rising above the want
ReenieHJ
Posts: 9,724 Member
Ok, so I'm a binge-eater. If it's in the house, I eat it, whether I really want it or not. For about 2-3 months I fell hard off the wagon, really hard. I got into the habit of buying a pint of ice cream 1-2 times a week and devouring it in one night, among all the other junk food I was eating. When I fall off the wagon, I don't even look at foods like spinach or chicken while I'm buying groceries. It's all cookies, bread, ice cream and various other crap. I'd go through a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in 3 days. Now a loaf of bread lasts us a week.
So anyways, how do you get over the wanting or (what I felt to be a physical) need for this stuff? Dh bought ice cream a couple days ago and I limited yesterday's food intake so I could eat mine last night. It didn't even end up tasting that good to me and it gave me a wicked stomach ache. But I know, in my brain, if I had another one, I'd do the same thing all over again.
How do you talk yourself out of doing something you really know isn't good for you and you really don't want to do. But you do it anyways?? How do you exorcise the demon?
*sigh* to the store today to stock up on healthy options. I'm such a weak soul.
So anyways, how do you get over the wanting or (what I felt to be a physical) need for this stuff? Dh bought ice cream a couple days ago and I limited yesterday's food intake so I could eat mine last night. It didn't even end up tasting that good to me and it gave me a wicked stomach ache. But I know, in my brain, if I had another one, I'd do the same thing all over again.
How do you talk yourself out of doing something you really know isn't good for you and you really don't want to do. But you do it anyways?? How do you exorcise the demon?
*sigh* to the store today to stock up on healthy options. I'm such a weak soul.
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Replies
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Binge eating is really tough, sorry to hear you are going through it.
In my experience (may not be the same for you, but it may help) is that binge eating is a learned habit and response/coping mechanism.
Sometimes bingeing can be the body’s response to not having enough food- for example trying to be too strict with your diet and being too restrictive.
But for the most part for me it was an ingrained habit that was a coping mechanism to stress and anxiety. Therapy helped me a lot to be able to realise why I felt that urge to binge. It also helped me to put in place other coping mechanisms. I still often have binge urges but I try to do other things to cope with the feeling and let it pass- write down how I feel, color in a colouring book, go for a walk.
Once you start riding out the binges, learning how to respond differently, those urges do get less and less. It takes a lot of work but is possible to get past it.
Hope this helps.6 -
I wish I had some really good advice that would apply to other people, but it's going to be a pretty individual thing. Ugh, I remember being just a kid and making tuna sandwiches just for myself with a loaf (or half loaf) of bread and however many cans of tuna were required for that. Boxes of Little Debbie treats? Mine now. Don't try to hide them, I'll find them.
For me, the only thing that has come close to resolving my issues with food is moving to a low carb diet, but that has more to do with my body specifically than anything else. I still get cravings and urges to binge, but they're less frequent, less intense, and getting better the longer I stay on plan. I try to distract myself with other things now, drink water, have a snack, whatever. The urges pass if you can hang on.
Realizing how strongly that dietary change impacted my mental health, when months of trying medication after medication failed, made it real. I don't get to give in to any binge urges anymore. I can't. It isn't an option. I know how slippery that slope is and I worked too hard to climb back up it. That's how I seriously fight it now.
Once I was low carb long enough to get my head back on straight, I started therapy. I haven't been doing that long but it's already helping me understand why I've always been such a mess.3 -
I like goals pick out and out fit or maybe something else you want like being able to run a mile or something and really want it that is your goal and every day work for it. I set up a workout where I feel a little pain when I move so when you get up to eat or reach for food your like but I worked so hard is it worth it to have this? Not to say you can’t have the foods just instead of a whole pint put a scoop in a bowl it is reward. Although sometimes it’s easier to not eat any snacks then cut down but if you down give yourself something it’s easier to keep going. Good luck and you deserve it.0
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Sadly, the only way to change the habits of a lifetime is to work at changing them -- it ain't easy. Anyone who tells you it is, well, they are either kidding themselves or they operate on a completely different wavelength from the rest of us.
I consider a serving of crackers to be a sleeve. Ice cream containers determine serving size and can be divided in half between hubby and me, no matter how big the container. You get the idea. These are not ideas consistent with maintaining a health weight.
You can't change your whole belief system one afternoon by sheer force of will. You need to work at it. Right now, no boxes of crackers, cookies, icecream, etc. come into our house. If a single-serving pack of something is delivered to the house with other food, it's pretty safe. A box of single-serving size packs would not be. Who eats one single-serving size if a whole box is available? I know this about me so I avoid the temptation by not buying them.
Overeating reflects the beliefs and habits of a lifetime. One has to change one's belief system. My new beliefs include not needing crackers in the house. I believe I can limit my eating if I rely on certain crutches. Now, with both hubby and me having mobility issues, we get our groceries delivered and that helps keep impulse food buying at bay. Back when we grocery shopped, I remembered to always go with a list and stay out of the middle aisles as much as possible. We filled at least 1/2 the basket in the produce section. We also kept our reusable bags in the cart to take up as much room as possible.
My habit of grabbing the peanut butter jar and a spoon has been replaced by grabbing a 100-calorie container of guacamole and a spoon. I don't tend to lose track of how much guacamole I'm eating. For you it may be something else. I'm afraid it takes trial and error and also thinking about what works and what doesn't. Guacamole cuts my desire for MORE. Starchy or sugary things just make me want to chew the drapes.
Plan what you need to eat and what groceries you need to eat. You don not need to buy "just in case" food. If you just can't do it, get something you won't eat much of like a new kind of mustard. You grocery costs are likely to reduce since you will be buying less food. Enjoy those lower grocery bills!
Finally, cut yourself some slack. Remember, we all succeed and fail frequently. Just stick to it long term, analyzing what made you go off track, and learn about yourself. You'll be happier and more successful.8 -
Depends on YOUR priorities. Habits can be changed, but YOU HAVE TO WANT to change them. It takes time and patience and consistency to do it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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@HeidiCooksSupper "Chew the drapes" Love it!
After letting the ice cream win yesterday I stocked up on healthy foods today once again. One day out of 3 weeks isn't going to kill me if I stay on course for the most part. *That* is what I need to remember. And even eating ice cream yesterday I only went over by about 500 calories, ate lots of veggies yesterday.
Thanks everybody, sometimes I just have to say things on the forums because there's no one else in my life to really talk with about them.
Looking forward to a dinner with a veggie burger and lots of veggies.
I have been having more success with eating very little through out the day, such as vegs/fruit for breakfast and lunch, then having a good sized dinner. I add in 0% fat yogurt a couple times a day to help with protein. Kind of my version of OMAD I guess. But it's working for me so far.
I love that I can come here to vent, whine, complain, beg for support and advice. I needed this place so badly when I started last year.9 -
We are all in this together. If you find yourself too hungry after your mostly vegetables/fruits breakfast, make sure to add some protein and fats, Protein and fats are great for slaking your hunger and also are necessary for health. Given how many calories you need to eat, you could fit in full fat yogurt and similar items. Nuts are good. Going low fat and low cholesterol in diet reflects an older, subsequently debunked understanding of how human nutrition works. It also can be a very hungry way to live that may result in binging desires.
Of course, it may not work this way for you. We are each different but there are some generalities that hold true for the vast majority of us. I like following the information on Harvard's Nutrition Source (https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/) in choosing what to eat. It is scientifically based and constantly update to reflect our ever developing understanding of human nutrition and health.0 -
In my experience there is two different kinds of binge eating.
There are those who have moments of being out of control, and then there are those who spend every single day of their lives thinking about, and struggling with food and feel constantly out of control 24/7. Then go through phases where they can restrict to try and lose and then end up looping back into continuous out of control behavior.
Both behaviors take a lot of work to regain control, but you can't be afraid to reach out for help, sometimes even if we have pure intentions and really want to stop something, it can be like fighting the hulk.
People here can offer suggestions but if they don't help, don't feel like a failure, it really is hard, and you just need to keep taking other steps for help, and you may hit a road block. You might hit many of them. But keep looking.
I struggle with 2 eating disorders, binge eating disorder and bulimic thought patterns. Lol.. both are polar opposites but they influence me daily, I've had to learn a lot from my past mistakes, and make a lot of behavioral changes, and learn to ignore my brain when it starts chattering at me.4 -
High protein and low carb are the way to go. Low-sugar snacking, if you want to do it, is for savory foods not sugary foods.
If you're unsure about sugary food --- go out and make them. All the additives aren't that good for you. If you want cookie dough make it. And chew it longer (It take the brain about 30 minutes to tell you're full), better yet freeze the dough. Make a six-cookie a day habit and not more. Ponder more.
You need the nutritional information. Are you not getting any of your nutrients? Are you not getting dairy? Meat? Vegetable or fruit?
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I try to figure out ways to incorporate some of those foods into my eating habits. For me, it includes stuff like soda and burgers and french fries. So I switched to the really tiny 7.5 oz soda cans because to me size doesn't matter. My mind sees one serving, whether it's one bottle or one normal can or one mini can. Fries I get the frozen and bake them (and I can control the amount), burgers I make myself and use very lean meat. Ice cream I use items for items which have preset serving sizes.1
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So, I'm following this with interest, as I am an emotional binge-eater, too. I come by it honestly, lol. My mom struggled mightily with food -- so much so that my own disordered eating paled by comparison and I didn't realize how messed up it was until I became overweight in my 30s.
I have not figured out how to tame the cravings or the impulse to overeat. I'm still working on that. The best I have been able to do is some transference and damage control. I try not to buy the stuff that I know I'll overeat, and when I find a healthier option I do like, I'll stock up on it and that way if I want to go crazy eating sweets, it's not as awful. For example: Once upon a time I'd eat a sleeve of cookies; now if peaches are in season, I might eat four peaches. It's still disordered eating, and I know it. I'm still eating my feelings, and I'm taking in extra calories, but at least they are nutrient dense and don't have all the preservatives and processed sugar. Or instead of soda, I'll drink maple water. I'd still be better off with water, but I'm pretty sure maple water is healthier than soda. (Please don't tell me if I'm wrong about this, and maple water is absolutely just as bad as soda, as I absolutely do NOT want to know, lol.)1 -
For what it may be worth, I found that avoiding eating foods with sugar, especially earlier in the day, really helps. And a question for Saltysparkle - what is maple water?2
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Ok, so I'm a binge-eater. If it's in the house, I eat it, whether I really want it or not. For about 2-3 months I fell hard off the wagon, really hard. I got into the habit of buying a pint of ice cream 1-2 times a week and devouring it in one night, among all the other junk food I was eating. When I fall off the wagon, I don't even look at foods like spinach or chicken while I'm buying groceries. It's all cookies, bread, ice cream and various other crap. I'd go through a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in 3 days. Now a loaf of bread lasts us a week.
So anyways, how do you get over the wanting or (what I felt to be a physical) need for this stuff? Dh bought ice cream a couple days ago and I limited yesterday's food intake so I could eat mine last night. It didn't even end up tasting that good to me and it gave me a wicked stomach ache. But I know, in my brain, if I had another one, I'd do the same thing all over again.
How do you talk yourself out of doing something you really know isn't good for you and you really don't want to do. But you do it anyways?? How do you exorcise the demon?
*sigh* to the store today to stock up on healthy options. I'm such a weak soul.
Others have given you good practical advice, which I can't. I'm not really a binge eater, at least not in any major way. I have, however, had other things about myself that I wanted to change. That's a human universal, probably.
So, I'm just going to add one outsider (non-binger) thought, related to the cognitive side of personal change.
Self-definition is important. Overdramatizing only a little, IMO it can either be the prison, or the key to the prison door.
"I am like X" (where X is a stark thing one allegedly wants to change) doesn't leave much room to maneuver, cognitively speaking. I bolded some passages in your OP that seem "I am like X" to me - things that sound like rigid self-perceptions.
In other threads, I've tried to make this same point before, in posts where people say things like "I hate exercise" or "I hate vegetables". Those self definitions leave no room for the possibility of change. Even the *slight* softening, like "I've disliked every exercise I've tried" leaves some room.
I can't speak for you, but if I'm in a weakened situation (under high stress, insufficient sleep, whatever) those rigid self-definitions make it more likely that I'll go down that undesired route. If my self definition is "I lash out sarcastically when I'm angry", guess what's more likely to happen if I'm angry? I need to be using my self-talk, at other unstressed times, for something more like "I take a deep breath, and think, when I'm angry", just to make a little head space for change. Does that work perfectly? No, of course not. But it helps a little, over time, if I'm persistent.
This is pretty woo-woo, kind of out there, but it's relevant for me. YMMV, and if so, feel free to ignore me.8 -
candylilacs wrote: »High protein and low carb are the way to go. Low-sugar snacking, if you want to do it, is for savory foods not sugary foods.
If you're unsure about sugary food --- go out and make them. All the additives aren't that good for you. If you want cookie dough make it. And chew it longer (It take the brain about 30 minutes to tell you're full), better yet freeze the dough. Make a six-cookie a day habit and not more. Ponder more.
You need the nutritional information. Are you not getting any of your nutrients? Are you not getting dairy? Meat? Vegetable or fruit?
@candylilacs -- what kind of crazy nonsense are you going on about?2 -
Ok, so I'm a binge-eater. If it's in the house, I eat it, whether I really want it or not. For about 2-3 months I fell hard off the wagon, really hard. I got into the habit of buying a pint of ice cream 1-2 times a week and devouring it in one night, among all the other junk food I was eating. When I fall off the wagon, I don't even look at foods like spinach or chicken while I'm buying groceries. It's all cookies, bread, ice cream and various other crap. I'd go through a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in 3 days. Now a loaf of bread lasts us a week.
So anyways, how do you get over the wanting or (what I felt to be a physical) need for this stuff? Dh bought ice cream a couple days ago and I limited yesterday's food intake so I could eat mine last night. It didn't even end up tasting that good to me and it gave me a wicked stomach ache. But I know, in my brain, if I had another one, I'd do the same thing all over again.
How do you talk yourself out of doing something you really know isn't good for you and you really don't want to do. But you do it anyways?? How do you exorcise the demon?
*sigh* to the store today to stock up on healthy options. I'm such a weak soul.
Others have given you good practical advice, which I can't. I'm not really a binge eater, at least not in any major way. I have, however, had other things about myself that I wanted to change. That's a human universal, probably.
So, I'm just going to add one outsider (non-binger) thought, related to the cognitive side of personal change.
Self-definition is important. Overdramatizing only a little, IMO it can either be the prison, or the key to the prison door.
"I am like X" (where X is a stark thing one allegedly wants to change) doesn't leave much room to maneuver, cognitively speaking. I bolded some passages in your OP that seem "I am like X" to me - things that sound like rigid self-perceptions.
In other threads, I've tried to make this same point before, in posts where people say things like "I hate exercise" or "I hate vegetables". Those self definitions leave no room for the possibility of change. Even the *slight* softening, like "I've disliked every exercise I've tried" leaves some room.
I can't speak for you, but if I'm in a weakened situation (under high stress, insufficient sleep, whatever) those rigid self-definitions make it more likely that I'll go down that undesired route. If my self definition is "I lash out sarcastically when I'm angry", guess what's more likely to happen if I'm angry? I need to be using my self-talk, at other unstressed times, for something more like "I take a deep breath, and think, when I'm angry", just to make a little head space for change. Does that work perfectly? No, of course not. But it helps a little, over time, if I'm persistent.
This is pretty woo-woo, kind of out there, but it's relevant for me. YMMV, and if so, feel free to ignore me.
It does sound pretty woo-woo, but it makes a difference for me, too. Unfortunately, like so many things in life, it takes a long time and a lot of work to change that particular habit and how we speak to or about ourselves.
Sometimes I have to take a step back and ask myself "would you have said that to a friend who was having a hard time?" and the answer is ALWAYS no.2 -
Horsekeeper wrote: »For what it may be worth, I found that avoiding eating foods with sugar, especially earlier in the day, really helps. And a question for Saltysparkle - what is maple water?
It's maple tree sap. At least that's what the brand I find around me says on their website. (Drink Simple). I'd love to just tap my own but don't know enough about trees to do it right/not harm the tree. Plus, I'm sure they clean it up some before they bottle it, and I'm not sure how I'd do that.
I always thought sap would be sticky and thick, but this stuff goes down just like water, with a faint taste and sweetness of maple. I know it's not "healthy" -- it's still sugar water. But not as highly concentrated as other sugar waters, from what I can tell.
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candylilacs wrote: »High protein and low carb are the way to go. Low-sugar snacking, if you want to do it, is for savory foods not sugary foods.
If you're unsure about sugary food --- go out and make them. All the additives aren't that good for you. If you want cookie dough make it. And chew it longer (It take the brain about 30 minutes to tell you're full), better yet freeze the dough. Make a six-cookie a day habit and not more. Ponder more.
You need the nutritional information. Are you not getting any of your nutrients? Are you not getting dairy? Meat? Vegetable or fruit?
Unfortunately binge eating, by definition, is not prevented by eating high protein, low carb or chewing for longer so you know you are full or even having a "little of what you fancy every day". It is eating food you do not need, and sometimes do not even really want, often to the point of physical pain.
It feeds, quite literally, a psychological need and unfortunately has little to do with nourishing the body or satisfying hunger.
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@AnnPT77
Oh I do so much self conversing it's laughable. Even find myself doing it in the store, happy for masks now. The trouble is I have more of a negative self talk trend than positive, always have had . That's what I need to change the most. I need to stop the 'why bother' and 'I can't do this' to 'I can and will do this', 'I matter'.
Thanks for your input everybody. Life is a journey and just like a journey, there are hills, valleys, and smooth even roads. Those hills are a bit harder so we just have to step on the gas a bit more, downhill calls for more brake action and the smooth even road is where I will stick to more often.3
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