Not feeling your size?

Wasn't sure how to name this post. :/ But I still feel like a size different than what I am. I always felt like size 8 was a smallish size but now that's where I'm at and have been for a year+. Why do I still feel like my old sizes? How do you get over that, or do you always stay the old size somewhere in your mind?


  • KrissDotCom
    KrissDotCom Posts: 217 Member
    When I was a size 8 I always felt huge too.. id have moments of clarity..

    Like when this couple almost fell on top of me trying to take their seats and they were about 300lbs each and I realized just how tiny I was but it was fleeting.

    I think it's hard for our brains to catch up with reality, especially if you were like me, obese your whole life and spent your life accommodating yourself as a bigger person, judging where you could sit in a crowd, realizing you're the biggest person in the room, trying to squeeze through small spaces.. etc.

    Our brains have just spent so much time wired as a large person, we need to rewire it now that we are small

    Think how many years of deep trails of thought patterns you've created, carving new ones takes time..

    Like a Forrest with a trail.. it takes many people walking off that trail to create another one going somewhere else.
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    I completely resonate with this. I am a size 8 now but I still feel like I did when I was 2 stone heavier. Sometimes when I catch my reflection I am astounded.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 5,158 Member
    My head is all over the place, so I have no answer for you.

    I've lost 20kg (44lbs) but still at least 6kg to go before I reach a healthy weight (according to BMI).

    I have times where I feel super slim and don't dislike my reflection in the mirror. Then at other times, especially undressed, I only see flab and fat and I feel only slightly slimmer than my starting weight.

    Clothing doesn't help either, my sizes are all over the place: from medium to XL, total mind *kitten*.

    Deciding when I've reached an acceptable maintenance weight (just within a normal BMI or lower) is going to be a tricky thing :confused:
  • scarlett_k
    scarlett_k Posts: 809 Member
    I wouldn't say I *feel* like my old sizes, if anything I can literally feel the difference as in I can feel my ribs and muscles underneath the remaining fat, and I generally feel a lot healthier and comfortable. But if I look at myself I don't notice the difference unless I look at a comparison picture. Even then I can convince myself not much has changed (43 kg has changed!) But then, the weight crept up in the first place and I didn't really notice until I realised I was struggling to do up a shoe lace when sat in the car and I had back pain for no reason (well, the reason being I was very overweight).
  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
    I’m always shocked by how I look in pictures. I feel like the weight I lost hasn’t made that huge of a difference but of course it really has! I have a bunch of progress pictures saved on my phone just to remind me that I am not that big anymore. I’m sure eventually I won’t need them anymore but they help for now.
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,517 Member
    Body dysmorphia is real and can last a long time. I've been thin for several years now. I lost 55 lbs. I can see all my ribs and have been told by my husband that I am now too thin. A doctor and nurse separately made comments about how skinny I am. I still look down at myself and think I'm too fat around the waist and thighs. In photos I actually think I look good, but I rarely get my photo taken since for so many years I tossed all pictures because I hated the way I looked. So there is a disconnect between what I see when I look at myself directly and when I look at a photo.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    I know the biggest size I ever took was between 18-20. Being in an 8 I still feel at least like a 14 so figured it was the vanity sizing of current times. I did wear a 6 for about a year and everyone commented that I was too thin. I felt slim and sleek then. :/
    Hopefully my brain will catch up eventually and I'll become more real to myself. But I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking these types of things.
    My sister must do the same thing because she swears she wears size 14-16 and large tops yet she appears smaller than I do. Her clothes hang on her but I don't think she realizes it.
    The brain can be a wondrous confusing organ.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,982 Member
    edited August 2020
    yup I'm dealing with it still and probably will for a long time. I simply can't see it myself; not in the mirror, and only when I did a side by side picture could I tell, but that was fleeting. My brain has not accepted yet that I"m no longer in a 30/32W but now an 18W and flirting with a 16W (which is funny because to some people, 18W is huge; to me, it was a life long pipe dream that I can't process I have achieved yet). I might even make it to a 14W before I finish losing what I want to lose.

    I still see myself as that huge person I've been all my life. When I go to jiu-jitsu class, I want to apologize to my rolling partner because I feel like I must be crushing them as I still see myself as that 375 lb person I used to be. I'm looking for weight limits on chairs and equipment and still thinking that if it can't accommodate a person 300 lbs, then I can't use it. I"m still avoiding booths and still want to grab size 24W's off the rack.

    I'm 40 this year and still have the dress I wore to my high school graduation, plus 2 skirts and a pair of shirts from those days. Back in the spring, I couldn't figure out why those clothes were so big now; I thought I was around the same weight I was in high school, right? Has vanity sizing changed that much? But the shorts were a size 24 and huge, the dress a 26, and the skirts were 22-24's. Then not long after, I saw a picture that had been taken of my graduating class and it struck me as I look at myself in that picture - I am WAY smaller than I was in high school!

    But I still can't see it. I think a big part of the problem is the muffin top and apron, not to mention my huge thighs. My muffin top is a good 5 inches bigger than my natural waist, and even though it is deflating fast, it still sticks out so when I look down at my tummy, I don't see my actual waist, I see that darned muffin top. I can tell where the love handles have gotten smaller on my thighs, but my hips are still huge (though a big component of that is genetics - thank you, grandma *sigh*) The huge hips are making it increasingly difficult to buy pants - belts have become an absolute necessity these days!

    Course with as much weight as I have lost and considering where I started from, the skin is only going to tighten up so much, especially also considering that have been obese for a good 30 years - I started gaining weight exponentially around age 12 and was heavy from that point to now. The muffin top isn't going to go away by itself, no matter how much my skin tightens up in the meantime. So that little part of my dysmorphia problems isn't going to go away.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,345 Member
    It definately takes a while for your head to take in that you are in fact slim - goodness I'm in year 7 of maintenance and still find it odd sometimes to catch myself in the mirror and see a slim person. I know I'm slim now, the size of my clothes tells me that, but with being overweight for the best part of 20 years its hard to think of myself even yet in that way.
  • brittneyalley
    brittneyalley Posts: 274 Member
    It’s so weird. I started at 167, and I’m 127 now (5’1). I still have some pounds to lose, but sometimes I don’t feel smaller. It’s so annoying.
  • peggy_polenta
    peggy_polenta Posts: 280 Member
    i lost 126 and reached my goal in 2010/2011. i was obese most of my life. i still see myself as fat. i range from a size 4 to a size 10 depending. when i fold my clothes they look like little girl clothes. when i look in the mirror i STILL see myself as fat 9 years later. i am still very conscious of my 'large' size. even pictures of me...i think i look heavy. i see women in public and think...jeez she has such a nice figure i would love to be so slim...then i'll catch a glimpse of two us in a mirror or something and see that that same woman has 30 pounds on me. occasionally i'll catch my reflection in a store window or something and be surprised its me and say to myself...'omg you are too a cheeseburger!'. to be honest, i think its actually a good thing in that it keeps me on guard and keeps me in maintenance (9/10 years and counting). i also eat and think like i always have 10 pounds to loose. it keeps me very vigilant. i am very careful about saying out loud to people..omg im so fat. since i know that is annoying to people and hurtful, i think and i remember when i was actually fat and slim women would say that, i'd be angry with them and think...i wish i was a fat as you.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 6,169 Member
    I feel like I have imposter syndrome- I don’t belong to either the fit and slender ground or the plus size and inactive group.

    Oh wow. Well said.