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Binged for the past 4 days. Ashamed.

ZeeLedZeeLed Member Posts: 15 Member Member Posts: 15 Member
Hi.

So I've been in a pretty bad place mentally for the last two weeks. I have been stressed and my weight has fluctuated on and off all month despite my efforts to lose with calorie counting, fitness and portion control. I am terrified to step on the scale tomorrow because I have binged over the past 4 days. There were two days that I was sure that I had eaten over 9000 calories.

I was tracking to try and keep control but I just let go and ate everything in sight pretty much. I ate and ate until I got so sick I could barely move.

I am so ashamed of myself. I have worked so hard to lose 50 pounds of the 80 I had to lose in total. Now I'm worried I've set my progress back quite a lot. I'm also terrified that I won't be able to get back on track tomorrow.

Any advice?

Replies

  • swim777swim777 Member Posts: 580 Member Member Posts: 580 Member
    Ann, as usual, has words of wisdom!! I have reached my goal weight, but still struggle with getting way off track at times. One thing that helps me is weighing every am and writing it down. Sometimes I journal about how things are going. Other times, I just put my weight down. I’m not in competition with anyone else. My goal is to be healthy and to enjoy my life even if I’m trying to lose. If I over-restrict it always ends badly. You have a great plan. You have lost 50 lbs!!! You are going to do this. Pre-log your favorite foods from your diary and move forward.
  • springlering62springlering62 Member, Premium Posts: 1,398 Member Member, Premium Posts: 1,398 Member
    @AnnPT77 You put that beautifully and eloquently and sensibly and efficiently and and and and......

    There ought to be a way to pin particularly good posts like this one.
  • ZeeLedZeeLed Member Posts: 15 Member Member Posts: 15 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    You won't have ruined all your progress - you've lost 50 pounds, which is amazing and excellent, and there's absolutely no way 4 days of over-eating wipes all of that achievement out. The scale may be on a roller coaster for a few days, but that'll be significantly water weight and digestive contents (waste en route through your digestive tract), not just fat-mass changes.

    IMO, the thing to do is to give some serious thought to *why* this happened. You mention stress. Have you considered what other stress management options might help you, in future cases of difficult stress? Some people use exercise, meditation, prayer, aromatherapy bubble baths, music, nature walks, and who knows what else, to help them manage increased stress. Is there something that could help you? (If the problem isn't hunger or nutrition, the true and lasting solution isn't food.)

    If it's a difficult struggle for you, I'd encourage you to speak with a professional. We hire personal trainers when we need help with exercise, dietitians when we need help figuring out eating strategies, physicians when we need medical treatment. Talking to a trained person when we need help with managing thought patterns should be no different - should have no more stigma - than any of those other things. There are even online/phone options these days, plus books about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) that some have found helpful.

    I know it's very hard to do, but personally I feel that shame about something like this is not helpful. Instead, this is a learning opportunity. Something went wrong, and you had difficulty sticking with your plan. What was it?

    Had you been over-restricting, such as losing weight unsustainably fast, or maybe denying yourself even sensible portions of foods you enjoy, and would be capable of moderating? Have you been getting enough sleep? How's your overall nutrition been? Energy level? I already mentioned thinking about stress management alternatives. Might it be time to take a couple of weeks' break at maintenance calories? (Info here about why that might help: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1).

    So, maybe try to think of what went wrong, so that your plans derailed temporarily. Is there some change you can make in your routine, to improve that plan, make it easier to sustain going forward? I'd encourage you, if you can, to think of this as a practical problem to be solved, an obstacle you can overcome, rather than as "a failure". Food is not sin, it's just food. We need to eat some, and we can learn to manage it, though that isn't easy at every single moment, I know. (I was obese for several decades, before being at a healthy weight for 4+ years now, since.)

    You've accomplished a great deal. You can continue doing so - you've proven it. Just resume . . . and improve your plan, if you can think of ways to do so.

    Hang in there - wishing you much future success!

    Thank you for your reply. I have found the whole process of losing weight to be extremely overwhelming in itself.

    I see a therapist twice a month for my bipolar depression, anxiety, and OCD. I have never really brought up my issues with food, because I already have so much to discuss that it feels like too much. I guess it is time to discuss this with her. I think food is a coping mechanism for my struggles with these issues.

    As far as weight loss, I lost nearly 50 pounds between late March 2020 and July 2020. After early July my weight loss stalled.I looked into eating at maintenance for a while, but that caused me to go off the deep end and eat a lot of bad foods. I've tried calculating my calories based off of my stats (5'8" and 197 pounds), but I'm always terrified the calories are too much or too little and I won't lose. I have a Fitbit Versa 2 that I use for calorie counting and steps, but I've heard that the Fitbit devices can give you more calories than you've actually burned so I feel terrified to eat those calories back. I've also tried logging my exercise, but I fear that I am not accurate enough and that if I eat those calories back I'll gain.

    It has been a really frustrating process, and I feel that I may have been too restrictive and that has caused a lot of these problems. I am just really terrified of gaining and I worry that I won't do any of this right and none of my hard work will matter in the long run.

    I don't feel that I truly have a good understanding of calories, exercise, and nutrition. I've been trying to read blogs and a lot of other posts, but I get so overwhelmed that it's hard to retain the information.
    edited August 1
  • 28Haveitall202028Haveitall2020 Member, Premium Posts: 89 Member Member, Premium Posts: 89 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    You won't have ruined all your progress - you've lost 50 pounds, which is amazing and excellent, and there's absolutely no way 4 days of over-eating wipes all of that achievement out. The scale may be on a roller coaster for a few days, but that'll be significantly water weight and digestive contents (waste en route through your digestive tract), not just fat-mass changes.

    IMO, the thing to do is to give some serious thought to *why* this happened. You mention stress. Have you considered what other stress management options might help you, in future cases of difficult stress? Some people use exercise, meditation, prayer, aromatherapy bubble baths, music, nature walks, and who knows what else, to help them manage increased stress. Is there something that could help you? (If the problem isn't hunger or nutrition, the true and lasting solution isn't food.)

    If it's a difficult struggle for you, I'd encourage you to speak with a professional. We hire personal trainers when we need help with exercise, dietitians when we need help figuring out eating strategies, physicians when we need medical treatment. Talking to a trained person when we need help with managing thought patterns should be no different - should have no more stigma - than any of those other things. There are even online/phone options these days, plus books about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) that some have found helpful.

    I know it's very hard to do, but personally I feel that shame about something like this is not helpful. Instead, this is a learning opportunity. Something went wrong, and you had difficulty sticking with your plan. What was it?

    Had you been over-restricting, such as losing weight unsustainably fast, or maybe denying yourself even sensible portions of foods you enjoy, and would be capable of moderating? Have you been getting enough sleep? How's your overall nutrition been? Energy level? I already mentioned thinking about stress management alternatives. Might it be time to take a couple of weeks' break at maintenance calories? (Info here about why that might help: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1).

    So, maybe try to think of what went wrong, so that your plans derailed temporarily. Is there some change you can make in your routine, to improve that plan, make it easier to sustain going forward? I'd encourage you, if you can, to think of this as a practical problem to be solved, an obstacle you can overcome, rather than as "a failure". Food is not sin, it's just food. We need to eat some, and we can learn to manage it, though that isn't easy at every single moment, I know. (I was obese for several decades, before being at a healthy weight for 4+ years now, since.)

    You've accomplished a great deal. You can continue doing so - you've proven it. Just resume . . . and improve your plan, if you can think of ways to do so.

    Hang in there - wishing you much future success!

    Soo inspiring 🙏
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,299 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,299 Member
    It is actually physically understandable why you would binge for 4 days. Your rate of loss was around 2.5 pounds per week which was a steep deficit there towards the end. As soon as you relaxed for a moment your body rebelled and probably sent your hunger through the roof.
  • AndreaMarie1236AndreaMarie1236 Member, Premium Posts: 70 Member Member, Premium Posts: 70 Member
    ZeeLed wrote: »
    Hi.

    So I've been in a pretty bad place mentally for the last two weeks. I have been stressed and my weight has fluctuated on and off all month despite my efforts to lose with calorie counting, fitness and portion control. I am terrified to step on the scale tomorrow because I have binged over the past 4 days. There were two days that I was sure that I had eaten over 9000 calories.

    I was tracking to try and keep control but I just let go and ate everything in sight pretty much. I ate and ate until I got so sick I could barely move.

    I am so ashamed of myself. I have worked so hard to lose 50 pounds of the 80 I had to lose in total. Now I'm worried I've set my progress back quite a lot. I'm also terrified that I won't be able to get back on track tomorrow.

    Any advice?
    ZeeLed wrote: »
    Hi.

    So I've been in a pretty bad place mentally for the last two weeks. I have been stressed and my weight has fluctuated on and off all month despite my efforts to lose with calorie counting, fitness and portion control. I am terrified to step on the scale tomorrow because I have binged over the past 4 days. There were two days that I was sure that I had eaten over 9000 calories.

    I was tracking to try and keep control but I just let go and ate everything in sight pretty much. I ate and ate until I got so sick I could barely move.

    I am so ashamed of myself. I have worked so hard to lose 50 pounds of the 80 I had to lose in total. Now I'm worried I've set my progress back quite a lot. I'm also terrified that I won't be able to get back on track tomorrow.

    Any advice?

    So now we have established a few things... one, you’re human. Thankfully so :) we all do this on occasion. Nothing to be ashamed of. Another important thing is we now know our triggers, and knowing them gives us a chance to put safe guards in place. I’m a stress eater and I know I have to exercise when I’m off or I’ll eat the house down. lol
    You also caught it early so these are things to be proud of. Before a healthy lifestyle who knows how long the binge may have lasted.
    I say good for you and let’s do this!!
  • ZeeLedZeeLed Member Posts: 15 Member Member Posts: 15 Member
    Just an update:

    I’ve gotten back on track and my caloric suggestion from MyFitnessPal has helped me with not feeling hungry.

    I didn’t gain anything from my 4 day binge. Actually, I lost weight. That was a surprise.

    I appreciate all of your advice. It has helped me get back on track. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.
  • ixchelkeshetixchelkeshet Member, Premium Posts: 32 Member Member, Premium Posts: 32 Member
    I'm so happy you have recovered and delighted that you actually lost weight. You mentioned that you have been diagnosed as bipolar. If you are on medication and are losing weight, possibly weight loss itself could affect the amount of medication or even the balance. From my own struggles with depression, I can attest that decreased levels or an imbalance among neurotransmitters can set off a binge and resolving it can stop it. Best wishes!
  • AnnPT77AnnPT77 Member, Premium Posts: 16,467 Member Member, Premium Posts: 16,467 Member
    ZeeLed wrote: »
    Just an update:

    I’ve gotten back on track and my caloric suggestion from MyFitnessPal has helped me with not feeling hungry.

    I didn’t gain anything from my 4 day binge. Actually, I lost weight. That was a surprise.

    I appreciate all of your advice. It has helped me get back on track. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.

    Thank you for coming back and lettting us know how things are going. I always appreciate when people take the time to do that.

    I'm glad that things are going better, and that you even registered a loss you didn't expect!

    Keep on keeping on, through or around whatever obstacles arise - which you've been doing a nice job with so far, BTW - and you'll accomplish your goals. Every goal accomplished increases that sense of empowerment.

    Best wishes going forward!
  • jjsavohjjsavoh Member Posts: 132 Member Member Posts: 132 Member
    A binge isn’t really all that bad. It’s the shame and guilt that follows it that’s really destructive because it’s that feeling that can lead us to giving up on the lifestyle and resigning ourselves to past habits.

    Enjoy a binge, but look at it as a mental rest break! Being disciplined in all of our choices is difficult!

    Edit: ha, I see I’m way late to the party. Happy to see how things turned out! Good luck with your goals and don’t be too hard on yourself. Love the journey AND it’s pit stops!
    edited August 8
  • charmmethcharmmeth Member Posts: 390 Member Member Posts: 390 Member
    Good luck!
  • mochapygmymochapygmy Member Posts: 2,169 Member Member Posts: 2,169 Member
    A note about bipolar. Many people with bipolar have addiction issues. Alcohol, shopping, sex, food. Binges would be worth discussing with your therapist.
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