Less Alcohol - SEPTEMBER 2020 - One Day at a Time

MissMay
MissMay Posts: 3,784 Member
in Challenges
~THIS IS A MONTHLY CONTINUING THREAD THAT HAS BEEN ACTIVE SINCE AS FAR BACK AS 2017. ALL WELCOME ~

Do you want to drink LESS?

Do it because it's a lovely thing to do for yourself!

I bet that thinking a day off is a sort of punishment and hasn't been working.

Be kind to the person you will wake up as.

Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) one day at a time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.

▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪

USING OUR THREAD:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!

TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR MEMBERS:
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•Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.

Life with Less Alcohol:
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•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.

Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
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•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family

When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance:
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•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.

How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You":
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•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".

LINKS:
▪▪▪▪
•Mydrinkaware:
https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk

•A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/

•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/

•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/

•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/

•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp

•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision

•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/

•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink

•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/

•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations

ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
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•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep

•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/

APPS:
▪▪▪▪
•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features

BOOKS:
▪▪▪▪
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter


Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
«13456

Replies

  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,928 Member
    edited September 2020
    I'm in
    I am Dawn. 59 (for less than 3 more weeks), I live in SE BC
    My goal has remained the same, one that I feel comfortable with: 16-20AF days each month.

    September might prove challenging, since I will be having some sort of self-indulgent holiday.

    Tuesday September 01 - AF - I felt like having drinks, but can't be starting a new month out that way!
  • MTW70
    MTW70 Posts: 220 Member
    Lilylady3k wrote: »
    MTW70 wrote: »
    My husband, who is trying to lower his drinking also, really wanted a drink last night. I think he was looking for me to cave, so he could have something but I was not at all interested. I reminded him, we just drank wine the night before and he relented. I have a much easier time not drinking then he does and we have different reasons for wanting to limit our drinking. It would be easier to do this without him joining in, but it is better for us in the long run to keep each other accountable.
    I am right there with you @MTW70 !
    My husband and I also have different reasons for cutting back on alcohol. Me for the weight issue. Him because his parents were alcoholics and he is borderline. It is much easier for me to not drink if I don't start or go by a rule of M-Th no alcohol and allow myself drinks on the weekend. It is much harder for him to not drink every night and continue drinking that evening. He basically has to just cut it out completely. But if he caves it is hard for me to resist an open bottle of wine. We too are trying to support each other. It is more difficult doing it with him ... but it is much harder to do it without him. So better together!

    Good luck!!!

    Yes, @Lilylady3k think we are on a very similar path :)
  • MTW70
    MTW70 Posts: 220 Member
    Doxmum wrote: »

    @MTW70 - Welcome to the posse. The MT doesn't stand for Montana by any chance does it?



    @Doxmum thanks for the welcome! No, not Montana, just my initials, I'm a Virginian living in New England :)
  • MTW70
    MTW70 Posts: 220 Member
    New to this challenge for September!

    Last week was AF for 4 out of 7 days, would like to improve that to 5 out of 7 days this week. All about the moderation!

    Week 1 September Goals: At least 4 days/nights AF. When drinking, drink in moderation, measure drinks & make sure they fit in calories with a deficit. Try not to drink 2 days/nights in a row.

    Monday 8/31: Alcohol Free. My husband, who is trying to lower his drinking also, really wanted a drink last night. I think he was looking for me to cave, so he could have something but I was not at all interested. I reminded him, we just drank wine the night before and he relented. I have a much easier time not drinking then he does and we have different reasons for wanting to limit our drinking. It would be easier to do this without him joining in, but it is better for us in the long run to keep each other accountable.

    9/1: Alcohol Free and not a word out of my husband about it! I plan to be AF today as well, he is social distancing with a friend outside on the deck this evening, so will likely have a few beers. But I'm not tempted to join, helps I don't particularly like this friend (just kidding, kind of)!

    9/2:
    9/3:
    9/4:
    9/5:
    9/6:


    This week's successes:
    This week's challenges:
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
    Started September off with a beer last night. I walked 4 miles (!!! yes, that's a lot for me lol) and had the calories for it, plus on a cool, rainy evening a chocolate milk stout sounded *really* good. I waffled over it forever, but I realized the Big Question I was asking myself was "Am I a bad person for having one beer?" No, of course I'm not a bad person, what a dumb frikkin question. So I cracked one open, poured it in a fancy glass, and sipped on it for 2 hours. It was excellent. Will be AF now until Sunday, when Husband and I are going to have wine and steaks for the holiday weekend. Trying to stick to the rule of drinking to enhance positive experiences instead of drinking to cope with negative ones.

    @MTW70 Good to have you! Sounds like you and your husband are approaching it a bit differently, but hopefully you can work together as a team most of the time. For me, I know this is only going to work if my husband stays as bought into it as I am. Mine has a tendency to put wine I didn't ask for in front of me because he doesn't want to drink alone...

    @sdlee94 Welcome! Everyone here is lovely and incredibly supportive. What kind of anxiety are you having around alcohol?
  • LoveyChar
    LoveyChar Posts: 4,336 Member
    @Doxmum I know you're right, that it's as addictive as heroine. So far he's doing okay, other than short-tempered but it will pass...

    I recently watched 'Charade' with Audrey Hepburn ever so elegantly smoking a cigarette. She could probably make anything look elegant. But oh yeah, it was the 'to do' thing then and especially in higher class circles.
  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,732 Member
    @Doxmum, hope you have a wonderful Birthday tomorrow! 65 deserves a big celebration!
  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,928 Member
    I'm in
    I am Dawn. 59 (for less than 3 more weeks), I live in SE BC
    My goal has remained the same, one that I feel comfortable with: 16-20AF days each month.

    September might prove challenging, since I will be having some sort of self-indulgent holiday.

    Tuesday September 01 - AF - I felt like having drinks, but can't be starting a new month out that way!
    Wednesday September 02 - AF

    Rolling total 2AF days out of 2 days so far.
  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,928 Member
    Happy Birthday for tomorrow @Doxmum
    Milestone birthday!
  • Doxmum
    Doxmum Posts: 127 Member
    Thank you very much ("Mahalo Nui Loa" - used to live in Hawaii) for all the birthday well-wishes! I've never had much of an on-line presence. But since Covid came, this group has become a peer group along with providing "Yuge" amounts of support. Cannot thank everyone enough.

    I'm thinking my SEP, and possibly until the election, may be alcohol-infused (unlike the most disciplined @forestdweller1). I'm trying to keep it to one can of Dark Horse (looking at you @globalhiker) Brut. But I already went through that this evening and I'm working on a glass of Chard right now.

    Then again, Less alcohol might be easier with reading Less news. Things that make you go, "Hmmm..."

    I, too <3<3<3 fall. Sweaters & snoods, here I come!

    "Taking a knee during the national anthem was a peaceful protest, and you told us to stand up. So we did."



  • mainelylisa
    mainelylisa Posts: 375 Member
    Happy Birthday, @Doxmum ! I understand wanting to drink through election. Just try not to let drinking affect you negatively--because that's kinda like letting him win. LOVE that quote! Who said it? What are you doing for your special day?

    Totally agree, @chocolate_owl about trying to keep drinking in line with positive experiences. Def my challenge.

    Goal: In addition to never feeling hungover, goal for Sep is at least 50% AF days ~ 15 days.
    Tally: 1d AF
  • shorepine
    shorepine Posts: 262 Member
    Wow @dawnbgethealthy that sounds like a lovely getaway in beautiful country! I like how you plan to enjoy alcohol to enhance the experience, a good idea.

    @MissMay I'm glad you enjoyed the Derby! And one mint julep for 3 hours is amazing. I aspire to be able to do that. I kind of want to see your hat!

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