At Goal weight, No fireworks!?!

First. Congratulations!

Then: I think it is quite normal to feel a bit flat. You have worked so hard to get to this number, but it is just a number. Your body probably doesn't feel - or perhaps even look - that different from how it did a couple of pounds ago. It may still have lumps and floppy bits that you wish weren't there. (When I arrived a goal a few years ago, I shifted my goal down a few kgs! This time I think I'll aim to stay at my goal +/- 1.5 kgs and get fitter.)

I htink part of the flat feeling is that you know how hard to worked to get here and now you have to figure out how to keep at this weight and not just let it all creep back on. Although you are "there", you are also just starting. For me, that is what people mean when they say they are making a lifestyle change rather than pursuing a number on the scale. (It's a bit like getting married: the wedding day is not the same as the day-in-day-out-ness of marriage.)

And yet: the wedding day is really important too! Can you find a way to celebrate your "hitting your goal day" that sets you up for staying there? Take a photo at least?

I would imagine that it's because the goal was arbitrary.

It may be worthwhile to examine why you wanted to lose weight. What the initial reason for the plan was. And then why was that important to you?

If WHAT you wanted to be healthier, WHY did you want that?

If WHAT you wanted to feel better about yourself, WHY would you want that?

If WHAT you wanted more energy, WHY would you want that?

My guess is that you don't feel good about meeting your goal because you met your WHAT goal but not your WHY goal.

If you can identify what it is that's propelling you to do this, I think you'll be able to set and meet a goal that does set off those fireworks and addresses the WHY. You may need some other's input to really identify what it is you want, though, maybe even a few counseling sessions, and that's very normal and a good thing to give yourself.

Yeah I had the feeling that all of my cares and woes would melt away once I hit my goal weight and had a BMI of 30 (overweight). Sadly, my problems still existed, except that now I could buy my clothes at a regular store and not the Big & Tall Men's catalog (like KINGSIZE). I decided that I needed to be closer to normal at BMI 25 and have made my way down to a 26 and have decided that I like the way I look & feel. So I'll be staying there for a while. The congratulations and "Wow you've lost weight" kind of greetings from friends and acquaintances is good enough for me. Oh and all my blood work numbers (cholesterol, A1C, glucose, etc.) are in the normal range, too. Win, win!!!

Glad you came around, because at 35+ pounds, I'll have my proxy throw up some fireworks if you decide not to in the future...

akm0615 wrote: »

Hi Everyone, Could use some reassurance here.

Started my journey Jan 2020 at 145.8 lbs. Set an arbitrary goal to get to 110 lbs. No idea why that number. Probably because I'm, 5'.1". At 44yrs old it felt pretty far fetched. Fast forward to Sept 2020, met my goal and beyond at 109.2 lbs. Went from size 10 to size 2, Large tops to x-small. I see some definition in my muscles.

For some strange reason, I thought I would be super excited, hear all sorts of bells ringing and even fireworks in my head. None of that happened. I feel sad and borderline disappointed. Like something I was so focused on and looking forward to really is a place no different than 5 or 10lbs ago. I'm still focused on recomp. Still working out and eating well. But, really shocked how the weight on the scale had such little impact. What gives??

I'm sorry, I know many of you are working towards your goals and my intension is not to demotivate you in any way. I feel so confused with how I feel right now.

Anyone else experience this, when you reached your goal weight? What did you do to reset your feelings?

I think it's because you realized that hitting the number on the scale isn't the end. It's not a finish line where you run through, win the prize, and then go back to what you were doing. It's just a signpost along the journey.

The weight on the scale is how the previous lifestyle manifested itself. Now you have a new lifestyle, and maintaining that is the new goal. Or even improving on it by doing your recomp. The finish line shifted within you. It's not just about the weight on the scale anymore. You have new goals that you acquired while you were losing!

Enjoy the accomplishment! If it were easy everyone would do it, right? But enjoy the new chapter as well!

I’ve hit three or four different goals I never, ever in my wildest fantasies thought I could make. No fireworks, not even a hug or slap on the back from family.

I think we get so wrapped up in our goal, we simply assume that rest of the world is all consumingly invested in our goal, too.

What’s helping me is a wonderful piece of wisdom I picked up from another MFP’er a while back.

They said something to the effect of “I have to treat maintenance like I’m always ten pounds away from goal”.

I’ve found that the be very powerful, and it helps me to feel like I continue to have a goal.

It's not bragging if it's true. There comes a time when our families and friends no longer give two hoots about any of this. All of the compliments will fade away.

Motivation and willpower are based on emotions and these limited resources run out. Momentum will take you all the way to your dream weight and beyond. If you're going to live like the Champion that you are you must go on living like one in your own heart.

Tap into momentum. @springlering62 has tapped into momentum. I have every confidence in that momentum that keeps moving her forward. She's not going to eat it all back or let any of it slip away. She's a fighter and each of us must keep fighting for our own health and overall well being.

This is serious business and it's complex.

I admire those who have a normal relationship with food and exercise. It's second nature for them and they don't seem to spend one minute out of any day thinking or working on things that we do. Someone came to my house and asked me why my goal weight was plastered on the 'fridge, hiding behind every door inside the closets. I dunno, I dunno.


I took all of that multi-cr@p down. If you have photos of athletes, celebrities around your house they all become a blur. You walk right by that motivational material and look right through them. It loses all of its luster and meaning for you because it is not you.

'Normal' people don't plaster anything anywhere. They wring everything they can out of life with their bodies and minds. They keep moving forward and looking forward waaaay into the future. No constant stops and starts. No throwing the towel in. Their feelings are not hurt from lack of compliments at the gym.

There's reason and emotions. If you can take the emotions out of it and tap into momentum and reason, you'll maintain your dream weight for the rest of your life. Long term weight stability. Permanent weight stability.
'Normal' people have that and I want it, too.

akm0615 wrote: »

Hi Everyone, Could use some reassurance here.

Started my journey Jan 2020 at 145.8 lbs. Set an arbitrary goal to get to 110 lbs. No idea why that number. Probably because I'm, 5'.1". At 44yrs old it felt pretty far fetched. Fast forward to Sept 2020, met my goal and beyond at 109.2 lbs. Went from size 10 to size 2, Large tops to x-small. I see some definition in my muscles.

For some strange reason, I thought I would be super excited, hear all sorts of bells ringing and even fireworks in my head. None of that happened. I feel sad and borderline disappointed. Like something I was so focused on and looking forward to really is a place no different than 5 or 10lbs ago. I'm still focused on recomp. Still working out and eating well. But, really shocked how the weight on the scale had such little impact. What gives??

I'm sorry, I know many of you are working towards your goals and my intension is not to demotivate you in any way. I feel so confused with how I feel right now.

Anyone else experience this, when you reached your goal weight? What did you do to reset your feelings?

This is pretty common...many people think that hitting some arbitrary number on the scale is going to be some kind of life changing experience...in most cases it is not...at least in regards to the number itself, and especially when you're talking about the difference between hitting that number or 5 or 10 Lbs difference.

I lost 40 Lbs overall...as weight loss goes, probably my most euphoric time was in the middle...going from 220 to 200 there wasn't a substantial difference in either my appearance or physique...200-190 was probably the most substantial and hitting 190 was the only time I can recall high fiving myself or anything like that as that is where I saw the most difference in my actual appearance. Going from 190-180 was a slog...I did lose a bit more of my gut, but really I was the same happy at 190 as I was at 180.

Fortunately, I didn't really have a goal weight...I stopped at 180 namely because I was just done and at a point where I had a reasonably good physique for an almost 40 year old and really, I had achieved what I set out to achieve which was namely to reverse a lot of nasty blood work and hypertension and as a former competitive athlete, to get my fitness back.

I could have continued to lose a bit more weight and get leaner...maybe a 6 pack or at least a 4 pack...but was that really going to make any difference in my life? Not really. Would that be some great accomplishment in my mind? Not really.

My real satisfaction came with getting all of those healthy issues under control and my blood work in the optimal range, knowing I had substantially increased the odds of me being around longer for my young boys. Also being able to roll around with them and wrestle and put them on my back when I did pushups and stuff like that...I could play and rough house with them without feeling like I was going to die. I could go out on long bike rides and come home and feel great and still have the energy to go mow the lawn or whatever. I never got a ton of satisfaction from the scale...it was all those other things.

For me the official goal weight was kind of a joke in the beginning. I never thought I could hit it so it didn't matter. As I've gotten closer I've done a little research and considered various factors and decided, yeah, it doesn't really matter. I'm already thinking about the next goal after I hit that one.

That said, I had an intermediate goal to get to 225 so that I could go on a trail ride (horses) with my daughters. When I realized I had hit that number, as in not just tapping it and bouncing back up, but actually weighing below this number everyday of the week, I honestly cried and cried. I tear up just thinking about it.

Last night I went to check trail ride outfits where we are looking to vacation and confirmed I was under them all and I got to have another little mini party. Whatever number I get to it will be great, but 225 was my heart goal, the one that really mattered to me. Everything else from here on out is gravy.