I met this guy I really like online and we've been friends for about a year. Recently our conversations started to change and he's planning to come visit me in the beginning of November.
I'm really excited to meet him, we get along great. Nothing feels pressured, forced, or weird.
But I'm concerned about my body. I'm a mother to twins. I had preeclampsia during my pregnancy and in the last month gained 100 lbs, only to lose it by the time the kids were 3 weeks old.
That on top of various dieting efforts in my life has landed me where I'm at now. My lower stomach is so flabby and gross and I'm embarrassed.
I wear a size 16 jeans, I'm not skinny. And I'm worried when he sees me he will change his mind about me - even though he has assured me he doesn't care. I feel like my body is so damaged that the only way I can ever actually fix it is with surgery.
Even if surgery is an option, it's not going to happens before he visits.
I don't see someone who's fat when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm overweight for sure, but I still think I'm beautiful. I tried to warn him without shaming myself by telling him my body was imperfect, reminding him I have insecurities, flaws, and twins.
Am I being crazy?