Can't stop eating baked goods once I start

So I have this relatively specific problem. I live with my parents, and every time my Mum bakes something (doesn't really matter what it is), without there being a specific reason for it (this is important), I will most likely start eating it, and not stop until it's gone. If the baked good is for a specific purpose (e.g. having guests, birthday, etc), I won't touch it, but if not, it's as good as gone. It should also be mentioned that I don't have this problem with other types of sweets (like chocolate, ice cream or whatever), which are also in the house pretty much at all times.

Now I don't really worry about the calories - I've lost 100+lbs, and am pretty good at staying at my current (goal) weight, and staying in shape - but I still don't like this behavior, and not just because it's a binge-mentality, but because I feel like I'm denying my parents their "share" so to speak.
So my question would be, if anyone has experienced something like that, and if so (or not for that matter), if you have any suggestions how I could stop it. Cheers.

Replies

  • WannaBeAnon
    WannaBeAnon Posts: 18 Member
    In addition to the above, try to establish a portion that is yours and designate the rest as not yours. You wouldn't take a coworker's lunch out of the shared fridge, it's not yours. You wouldn't eat food at a grocery store that you haven't paid for, it's not yours. You don't eat the food your mom bakes for other people, it's not yours. So tell yourself that this number of cookies is for you, the rest are not for you, and that you don't eat food that's not yours.

    Digging deeper into the "why do you do this" element, is this a behavior left over from childhood? Did this binge behavior initially contribute to the weight you gained (and then lost)? Is it somehow comforting because it's something you've done for so long? You don't binge on other things, so are your mom's baked goods in particular an emotional trigger? If so, you might have to address that particular emotional hole you're filling.

    Writing my original post, I actually came up with the same Idea: If it is "designated" as being for someone else, by my own logic, I should not be compelled to eat it. I will most definitely give this a try.

    As to the "why", your explanation is probably the best. Believe me, I thought much about it, and it being some sort of "reflex" is really the only thing I can come up with as well. My nutrition is in check, so I don't think it's my body telling me something. And without wanting to insult my Mum's baking, it usually isn't anything special, so it's not like "OMG this is so good, I need to eat more of it".

    I also want to stress, it's not like it's a major problem. I'm way past feeling guilty after indulging a bit, and my Mum doesn't bake THAT often... It's more like a curiosity, and obviously it's still a type of behavior I want to change - mainly out of respect for my parents.

    Anyway, thanks for your suggestions!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 25,288 Member
    In addition to the above, try to establish a portion that is yours and designate the rest as not yours. You wouldn't take a coworker's lunch out of the shared fridge, it's not yours. You wouldn't eat food at a grocery store that you haven't paid for, it's not yours. You don't eat the food your mom bakes for other people, it's not yours. So tell yourself that this number of cookies is for you, the rest are not for you, and that you don't eat food that's not yours.[snip]
    Writing my original post, I actually came up with the same Idea: If it is "designated" as being for someone else, by my own logic, I should not be compelled to eat it. I will most definitely give this a try.
    [snip]

    My mother and brother live together. He struggles with moderation and portion control, so she designates foods they share that he finds hard to resist as hers and his.

    I love to bake this time of year, especially muffins, as they portion so well. They also freeze well. One thing you or your mother could consider is freezing leftover baked goods.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 6,007 Member
    edited October 2020
    NovusDies wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    In addition to the above, try to establish a portion that is yours and designate the rest as not yours. You wouldn't take a coworker's lunch out of the shared fridge, it's not yours. You wouldn't eat food at a grocery store that you haven't paid for, it's not yours. You don't eat the food your mom bakes for other people, it's not yours. So tell yourself that this number of cookies is for you, the rest are not for you, and that you don't eat food that's not yours.[snip]
    Writing my original post, I actually came up with the same Idea: If it is "designated" as being for someone else, by my own logic, I should not be compelled to eat it. I will most definitely give this a try.
    [snip]

    My mother and brother live together. He struggles with moderation and portion control, so she designates foods they share that he finds hard to resist as hers and his.

    I love to bake this time of year, especially muffins, as they portion so well. They also freeze well. One thing you or your mother could consider is freezing leftover baked goods.

    I think it would be safer to ship them to random MFP members (or just me). No sense taking any chances with chipping a tooth on a frozen muffin.

    I wholeheartedly agree.

    Plus, along with broken off pieces, gifted food has no calories.

    Edited to add: Me! I'm a random mfp user too! :)
  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 973 Member
    Any sweets or baked goods in my house I can not touch. As soon as I have one bite I will keep taking more bites until its gone. My family hates my for it. Its been easier to just 100% avoid it. Ive talked to them about not having it in the house but I lost that battle.
  • WannaBeAnon
    WannaBeAnon Posts: 18 Member
    Fflpnari wrote: »
    Any sweets or baked goods in my house I can not touch. As soon as I have one bite I will keep taking more bites until its gone. My family hates my for it. Its been easier to just 100% avoid it. Ive talked to them about not having it in the house but I lost that battle.

    Yeah, i mean I suggested not baking at all, but it is quite an unfair thing to impose.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,254 Member
    Fflpnari wrote: »
    Any sweets or baked goods in my house I can not touch. As soon as I have one bite I will keep taking more bites until its gone. My family hates my for it. Its been easier to just 100% avoid it. Ive talked to them about not having it in the house but I lost that battle.

    Yeah, i mean I suggested not baking at all, but it is quite an unfair thing to impose.

    I would think it's more unfair that nobody else is getting to eat any of it. Does your Mum just like baking, and doesn't care that neither she nor your other parent gets to eat any of it?
  • WannaBeAnon
    WannaBeAnon Posts: 18 Member

    I would think it's more unfair that nobody else is getting to eat any of it. Does your Mum just like baking, and doesn't care that neither she nor your other parent gets to eat any of it?

    Well yeah, that is why I want the change the behavior. And it's not like they don't get any of it. The usual thing is, my mum bakes, we have some for dessert, and I just don't stop, unlike the others.
    As a bit of an update, I had a talk with my mum, and we did come up with a system where there is a set portion set aside for me, and the rest is designated as theirs.
  • acrylicfox
    acrylicfox Posts: 295 Member
    Do you have this problem with all such (not portion-controlled) gluten/grain products or just your mother's home baking?
    Because it may be a gluten or grain sensitivity,
    I have read that eating things that you're sensitive to causes the release of adrenalin (which becomes an addiction) and makes it hard to stop overeating them.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 22,914 Member
    The things we believe of ourselves become true, in the believing. But different beliefs can be chosen . . . I believe. 😉
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 6,007 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    The things we believe of ourselves become true, in the believing. But different beliefs can be chosen . . . I believe. 😉

    Don't stop believing.
  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 11,269 Member
    I think you've now just told yourself that 'this is what you do'. It'll take some time to rewire your automatic response to this behavior. Look up 'CBT' - perhaps this might help you.
  • GrizzledSquirrel
    GrizzledSquirrel Posts: 114 Member
    Not advice but an observation: you say you won’t touch the baked goods when there is a specific purpose for them. This means you do have the self-control to resist.

    However, you’re sense of duty to others (e.g. the guest or the person who’s birthday it is) appears to be stronger than the sense of duty to yourself (i.e to not undermine your progress).

    Why do you feel that is?
  • WannaBeAnon
    WannaBeAnon Posts: 18 Member
    Not advice but an observation: you say you won’t touch the baked goods when there is a specific purpose for them. This means you do have the self-control to resist.

    However, you’re sense of duty to others (e.g. the guest or the person who’s birthday it is) appears to be stronger than the sense of duty to yourself (i.e to not undermine your progress).

    Why do you feel that is?

    You bring up a good point, but the thing is, that is kind of a non-issue for me. Right now, progress for me isn't defined as "losing weight", because I am currently at my goal-weight. And for building muscle (which IS my current goal), eating that calorie surplus is actually a good thing (at least to a degree), so the real issue I am having is really just the social aspect.
    acrylicfox wrote: »
    Do you have this problem with all such (not portion-controlled) gluten/grain products or just your mother's home baking?
    Because it may be a gluten or grain sensitivity,
    I have read that eating things that you're sensitive to causes the release of adrenalin (which becomes an addiction) and makes it hard to stop overeating them.

    I honestly don't know..? I mean, I love baking too, but the way I do it I can portion it out, and know exactly "1 cookie = x calories" (for example). I also really wouldn't know how to test that?