Help - not sure what to do next- fitness/aesthetic-wise - getting stronger without bigger muscles

Jambalady
Jambalady Posts: 155 Member
edited January 2021 in Health and Weight Loss
No judgement please but need some advice on what my goals should be in 2021 in order to get a leaner, stronger physique without bulking up more. Before anyone screams about how hard it is for women to get bulky, and strong is sexy, I want to say I fully support strong women and weight training. In fact, I love it and miss the gym dearly and lifting heavy. The problem is that my husband and kids have recently been telling me that I look too bulky and for the first time ever, I'm starting to agree with them. I love lifting weights way more than any other form of exercise and I love getting stronger but for the first time ever, I'm feeling self-conscious about the aesthetic it's giving me. So, my question is - can you get stronger and progress without necessarily getting bigger? I would like to be a little leaner but honestly, I have a hard time eating less. I'm 4'11 so even with working out, I consume 1600-1800 daily and any less makes me miserable. I probably need to go down to 1400 to lose more fat but I think pyschologically, I'm getting to the point where being thinner and miserable is not worth it to me. So, are there any adjustments to my workouts that I can do so that I can continue to strength train but not get bigger than I am? For reference, I'm 4'11, 120lbs and just finished Body Beast.

Replies

  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Maybe it's just me but it's hard to say without pics as a reference point (either pics of you now and/or pics of where you want to be vis a vis now).

    Have you tried bulking? Nutrition is the focus but you'd still lift, perhaps with a different protocol. Results? You'd gain some fat (assuming that's what you mean by aesthetics).

    Caveat: just like you couldn't spot reduce on the way down, you will have little control of where you'll get the extra fat to settle.

    If you were me, I'd see a personal trainer (there are plenty of qualified folks online who can do 1on 1 video calls with you). All in all this is a great life problem. Kudos on all your hard work to date!
  • Jambalady
    Jambalady Posts: 155 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    Maybe it's just me but it's hard to say without pics as a reference point (either pics of you now and/or pics of where you want to be vis a vis now).

    Have you tried bulking? Nutrition is the focus but you'd still lift, perhaps with a different protocol. Results? You'd gain some fat (assuming that's what you mean by aesthetics).

    Caveat: just like you couldn't spot reduce on the way down, you will have little control of where you'll get the extra fat to settle.

    If you were me, I'd see a personal trainer (there are plenty of qualified folks online who can do 1on 1 video calls with you). All in all this is a great life problem. Kudos on all your hard work to date!

    I updated my profile pic to show where I am now. I can try posting in here if it's easier to see. I'm mostly concerned with my arms and lats. Stomach and legs are where I want them to be, so I suppose I can try to reduce upper body and increase lower body days?thdhqlbc8vm2.jpeg
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Jambalady wrote: »
    *snip* I'm mostly concerned with my arms and lats. Stomach and legs are where I want them to be, so I suppose I can try to reduce upper body and increase lower body days?thdhqlbc8vm2.jpeg

    I suppose but I'm not a personal trainer nor is this my conundrum...yet 😉 I'm also into measurements and tracking what works (as well as what doesn't).

    There's plenty of MFPers with more experience on this. I'm sure they'll chime in before the day is out.
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    I would say to avoid eating in a surplus, and focusing on more strength (lower reps) vs hypertrophy will probably your best bet. Also eating in a tiny deficit where it's more about muscle retention vs building.

    Alternatively you can eat at maintenance,
    however, if you are lifting and progressing chances are you will still build some muscle over time. Maybe focusing on muscles where you would like more growth, such as lower body like you mentioned.

    Also to add Body Beast is a very upper focused bodybuilding bro-split program, it is OK but I would recommend something a little more specific for your goals. Here is a list of programs to check out
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1

    Personally I've run Strong Curves with great success, I definitely don't look bulky probably because the upper body has little focus. However that being said I did get strong I was able to do quite a few reps of unassisted pull-ups at one point which I thought was pretty cool :)
  • Jambalady
    Jambalady Posts: 155 Member
    edited January 2021
    sardelsa wrote: »
    I would say to avoid eating in a surplus, and focusing on more strength (lower reps) vs hypertrophy will probably your best bet. Also eating in a tiny deficit where it's more about muscle retention vs building.

    Alternatively you can eat at maintenance,
    however, if you are lifting and progressing chances are you will still build some muscle over time. Maybe focusing on muscles where you would like more growth, such as lower body like you mentioned.

    Also to add Body Beast is a very upper focused bodybuilding bro-split program, it is OK but I would recommend something a little more specific for your goals. Here is a list of programs to check out
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1

    Personally I've run Strong Curves with great success, I definitely don't look bulky probably because the upper body has little focus. However that being said I did get strong I was able to do quite a few reps of unassisted pull-ups at one point which I thought was pretty cool :)

    unassisted pull-ups are my goal too. Right now, I can only do a few chin-ups! You look fantastic!

    Would you recommend buying the book? I only have access to dumbbells, so would I be able to supplement or do alternate exercises to anything requiring a barbell?
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Thank goodness for you @sardelsa 🙌🏿 Strong Curves seems to be the answer to everything. That and fiber 😂

    No BBs required if you don't have access.

    I'm currently doing Phase 2 of the bodyweight version. My goal is core strength and less interest in what it can do for my lower body.

    That said, the book has a ridiculous number of alternative exercise options in the back. I have the Kindle version and get along fine with it but many seem to prefer the hardcopy.

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