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Rules for DMs tangent -- What's a "good friend"?
A tangent from the Rules for DMs thread...
How do you use the Friends function within MFP? Is it akin to FB? Do you interact regularly? Are you a drive-by liker, or do you take the time to comment? What makes someone a good friend? What do you hope for from your feed?
Personally, I rarely look at my feed. The adds in the app are too much for me, and my shortcuts/bookmarks take me right to my dairy. From there I typically go right into the forums.
Additionally, I'm in a phase where I'm rarely logging anything. My eating/intake is embarrassing, as are what I'm calling "workouts" these days. I hate where I'm at, so the last thing I want to do is have any of that show up in my feed for others to see. So for the last couple of years, I've been pretty MIA in the feed.
I'm sure that makes me a *kitten* friend for some, for others that probably makes me to perfect friend.
More generally, I like "friends" with similar interests/pursuits as myself. I like talking bikes and sneakers and gear with folks, but don't want to be nagged every time someone logs in, loses a tenth of lb, or vacuumed for 13 minutes. If I've connected with someone in some way, and I know what their goals/struggles are, then I feel like I can offer more meaningful advise/support/encouragement... and will do so when the opportunity presents itself. I tend to keep my FL pretty small - quality over quantity.
What say you?
How do you use the Friends function within MFP? Is it akin to FB? Do you interact regularly? Are you a drive-by liker, or do you take the time to comment? What makes someone a good friend? What do you hope for from your feed?
Personally, I rarely look at my feed. The adds in the app are too much for me, and my shortcuts/bookmarks take me right to my dairy. From there I typically go right into the forums.
Additionally, I'm in a phase where I'm rarely logging anything. My eating/intake is embarrassing, as are what I'm calling "workouts" these days. I hate where I'm at, so the last thing I want to do is have any of that show up in my feed for others to see. So for the last couple of years, I've been pretty MIA in the feed.
I'm sure that makes me a *kitten* friend for some, for others that probably makes me to perfect friend.
More generally, I like "friends" with similar interests/pursuits as myself. I like talking bikes and sneakers and gear with folks, but don't want to be nagged every time someone logs in, loses a tenth of lb, or vacuumed for 13 minutes. If I've connected with someone in some way, and I know what their goals/struggles are, then I feel like I can offer more meaningful advise/support/encouragement... and will do so when the opportunity presents itself. I tend to keep my FL pretty small - quality over quantity.
What say you?
4
Replies
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Idk man, I can’t do sis boom bah yay for your weight loss stuff anymore. I don’t have it in me. But if we gel, I can be kind of supportive.
My friend list gets smaller and smaller as the people who can’t be bothered fall away and I’m left with pure gold.
Generally people who want to talk about our fitness goals are going to be disappointed. I’ve become much more of a just do it and shut up about it person.
Plus idgaf about the aesthetics anymore. Or the scale weight. I just want to feel good & be healthy. I want to do fun things. I don’t need to PR. I don’t want to be skinny. And I don’t want to talk about it.
11 -
I take my time to read my feed when I have time. Then I respond accordingly. Liking or commenting or both. Most days I just glance at it and and close the app but I think I comment more on friends who are more interactive with me because if they take the time to give me encouragement, a good friend should do the same...right?!4
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difference between a good friend and an acquaintance just depends on the day of the week i reckon6
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I try to at least like some posts. Inactive freinds get deleted eventually bc like, why are you here if you don't interact with me? Plus I've also been here too long and don't care much for the many fitness posts. It's fine bc this is a fitness site but it's so boring.
I don't have much to offer though. I've been on a almost strictly tiktok link streak that I should probably stop bc I'm sure people want to maybe hear from me and not some other internet personality.
Idk 🤷🏻♀️ Maybe withholding over shareing is cramping my style. Word vomit 🤮 is funner at least.
So seeing as I don't care much about fitness and dieting I'd say that I do use this as a sort of Fb. I also don't post much there but the tiktoks and memes. Perhaps a rant about lady restrooms and proper peeing techniques?
😕 idk man3 -
I am a drive-by friend. I disappear for weeks at a time. I show up and demand your attention and flood your in-box with explicit PMs. I like stuff randomly.3
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I assume i’m a terrible mfp friend. Sometimes I’m IN IT and like/comment/sass everything, other times life is heavy and pushing like is hard
That’s how it is right now anyway
I’m a serial post deleter and i get to ignoring my feed for weeks to the point that I don’t know how to ever rejoin the fold.
But then i have a great day and i’m in everyone’s face again with an obnoxious fountain of positivity that flows from who knows where. It tends to dry up quickly and i get dopamine starved and then retreat to real life for awhile
Short answer: if you need consistency from your friends, i ain’t it. But if you can tolerate an anxious *kitten*, i’m your guy7 -
Excellent thread idea btw1
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Also i keep giggling at ‘vacuumed for 13 minutes’2
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Pardon me whilst I spam your thread.
As far as what i expect from others on my FL, the answer is virtually nothing. Do your thing. Like my posts, or don’t. Post political rants, or don’t. Get butt naked and post a pic five days a week, or don’t. I have only ever deleted a couple people who sent a FR and then never interacted with me at all, like via dm or on my wall or in here. Those are the FRs I don’t understand 😅1 -
Pardon me whilst I spam your thread.
As far as what i expect from others on my FL, the answer is virtually nothing. Do your thing. Like my posts, or don’t. Post political rants, or don’t. Get butt naked and post a pic five days a week, or don’t. I have only ever deleted a couple people who sent a FR and then never interacted with me at all, like via dm or on my wall or in here. Those are the FRs I don’t understand 😅
Butt naked five days a week. ✍️2 -
Yoshiboobs wrote: »Pardon me whilst I spam your thread.
As far as what i expect from others on my FL, the answer is virtually nothing. Do your thing. Like my posts, or don’t. Post political rants, or don’t. Get butt naked and post a pic five days a week, or don’t. I have only ever deleted a couple people who sent a FR and then never interacted with me at all, like via dm or on my wall or in here. Those are the FRs I don’t understand 😅
Butt naked five days a week. ✍️
Yusss I’m here for it1 -
I've got 2 words for those people: roomba.0 -
Two roombas!
Which is what i have. One of them has been tangled for several months in my old earbuds which have themselves been tangled between the mattresses, it’s a whole cluster *kitten* up in there
The other one has probably melted to the charger by now0 -
i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.4 -
only shows up when I am feeling lonely and leaves me alone otherwise1
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Kashmir_314_ wrote: »i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.
They've been movie quotes this whole time?!
I thought we were friends 😭
you had me at hello2 -
i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.
You said I was special!2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.
You said I was special!
new phone who dis1 -
twitchandshout wrote: »i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.
You said I was special!
new phone who dis
Aww you do care ❤️1 -
i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.
Well at least I make SOMEONE laugh. Thanks for add sir 🤣3 -
I'm a flyby like-r, very, very rarely comment on walls, and dms are even more rare.2
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Connecting with friends on MFP gives me the opportunity to use the motivational techniques I have forged through my 27 years of holiday retail, church volleyball, and door-to-door caramel sales in the sweltering Mississippi heat.
It's not unusual for me to comment in all caps with exclamation points galore when I see an update from Maggie, my sister from another mister, drenched in sweat after making the Peloton her *kitten*. I believe in my friends and I am 100% invested in their health and happiness, even if it means sacrificing my own.3 -
I kinda suck as a friend. I don't post "nice burn!" or shiz like that. I go days/weeks/months sometimes without interacting because real life, ya know? Most my posts have zilch to do with fitness and I don't PM anymore. I have some peeps on MFP that I love and always will even though we aren't on each others' friend list. I think my core friends get me and accept me despite all this, and that's all that is important to me.3
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I used to not accept or send fr unless I had interacted with them on the forums - now depending on the day I may accept someone who I’ve seen on another friends list - but I won’t send one unless we’ve interacted in some way
I’m a serial liker - unless you post something that really shouldn’t be liked IE- a love one being sick or what have you... and I’ll give a nice work - well done - insert atta boy comment here and there - if it’s not fitness related then I’ll engage in a charming back and forth as it were if I think I have something witty to add
Sometimes I’ll post on my wall - sometimes I don’t - I rarely post on others walls but have on. Occasion - I’ve made some good interwebs stranger friends here I think - I’d say I’m just an average Joe friend - I don’t give much and don’t ask for much 🤷♂️
2 -
If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.0
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GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
What if I knew your first name but forgot your first name - cause I never used your first name cause you said no one calls you by that - and I suck at names so if I don’t use it then i lose it kinda deal - and having your phone number would be totally inappropriate so that’s out ....
All that being said I guess were just average Joe friends - which I said previously - I guess - so I’ve said nothing new here - I’ll see myself out2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »Idk man, I can’t do sis boom bah yay for your weight loss stuff anymore. I don’t have it in me. But if we gel, I can be kind of supportive.
My friend list gets smaller and smaller as the people who can’t be bothered fall away and I’m left with pure gold.
Generally people who want to talk about our fitness goals are going to be disappointed. I’ve become much more of a just do it and shut up about it person.
Plus idgaf about the aesthetics anymore. Or the scale weight. I just want to feel good & be healthy. I want to do fun things. I don’t need to PR. I don’t want to be skinny. And I don’t want to talk about it.
I’m with you on most of this.3 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
Are those at similar levels of privacy/intimacy?0
This discussion has been closed.
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