Rules for DMs tangent -- What's a "good friend"?
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twitchandshout wrote: »i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.
You said I was special!
new phone who dis
Aww you do care ❤️1 -
i typically don't go out of my way to send FRs anymore unless they really make me laugh or i know them from the past and miss them.
and generally don't care much either if somebody sends me one anymore. same for messages.
if they want to be friends and talk they will. its nice enough to be able to make connections with people sure, but not everybody's built the same and to put blanket expectations on people before they even know you is stupid. by that i mean those folks who have a whole thing typed out about why you should/should not be their friend and what they expect blah blah blah.
i figure if they do message and i don't really want to talk, but like them enough to not be rude, i'll just make up a bunch of crazy stuff and see how far i can take it before they back off or constantly use random old movie quotes that they won't recognize anyhow.
don't care much either way about them interacting or liking statuses or anything either. if they want to they will. i do my best to interact if i got something funny to say but sometimes i get down and just wanna log in and laugh quietly to myself until i feel better.
i do typically delete if i determine they're just a friend collector trying to build up and target folks to their insta, or if they're a morbid sockpuppet account, or once they don't log in for more than 20 days. even if they're an actual friend, i stick to the 20 day mark, just cause that means they obviously got stuff going on at home and that ain't my business and i don't want no part of it.
Well at least I make SOMEONE laugh. Thanks for add sir 🤣3 -
I'm a flyby like-r, very, very rarely comment on walls, and dms are even more rare.2
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Connecting with friends on MFP gives me the opportunity to use the motivational techniques I have forged through my 27 years of holiday retail, church volleyball, and door-to-door caramel sales in the sweltering Mississippi heat.
It's not unusual for me to comment in all caps with exclamation points galore when I see an update from Maggie, my sister from another mister, drenched in sweat after making the Peloton her *kitten*. I believe in my friends and I am 100% invested in their health and happiness, even if it means sacrificing my own.3 -
I kinda suck as a friend. I don't post "nice burn!" or shiz like that. I go days/weeks/months sometimes without interacting because real life, ya know? Most my posts have zilch to do with fitness and I don't PM anymore. I have some peeps on MFP that I love and always will even though we aren't on each others' friend list. I think my core friends get me and accept me despite all this, and that's all that is important to me.3
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I used to not accept or send fr unless I had interacted with them on the forums - now depending on the day I may accept someone who I’ve seen on another friends list - but I won’t send one unless we’ve interacted in some way
I’m a serial liker - unless you post something that really shouldn’t be liked IE- a love one being sick or what have you... and I’ll give a nice work - well done - insert atta boy comment here and there - if it’s not fitness related then I’ll engage in a charming back and forth as it were if I think I have something witty to add
Sometimes I’ll post on my wall - sometimes I don’t - I rarely post on others walls but have on. Occasion - I’ve made some good interwebs stranger friends here I think - I’d say I’m just an average Joe friend - I don’t give much and don’t ask for much 🤷♂️
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If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.0
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GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
What if I knew your first name but forgot your first name - cause I never used your first name cause you said no one calls you by that - and I suck at names so if I don’t use it then i lose it kinda deal - and having your phone number would be totally inappropriate so that’s out ....
All that being said I guess were just average Joe friends - which I said previously - I guess - so I’ve said nothing new here - I’ll see myself out2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »Idk man, I can’t do sis boom bah yay for your weight loss stuff anymore. I don’t have it in me. But if we gel, I can be kind of supportive.
My friend list gets smaller and smaller as the people who can’t be bothered fall away and I’m left with pure gold.
Generally people who want to talk about our fitness goals are going to be disappointed. I’ve become much more of a just do it and shut up about it person.
Plus idgaf about the aesthetics anymore. Or the scale weight. I just want to feel good & be healthy. I want to do fun things. I don’t need to PR. I don’t want to be skinny. And I don’t want to talk about it.
I’m with you on most of this.3 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
Are those at similar levels of privacy/intimacy?0 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
What if I knew your first name but forgot your first name - cause I never used your first name cause you said no one calls you by that - and I suck at names so if I don’t use it then i lose it kinda deal - and having your phone number would be totally inappropriate so that’s out ....
All that being said I guess were just average Joe friends - which I said previously - I guess - so I’ve said nothing new here - I’ll see myself out
Just to be clear, we are good friends.1 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
Are those at similar levels of privacy/intimacy?
I'm not sure I understand the question.0 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
What if I knew your first name but forgot your first name - cause I never used your first name cause you said no one calls you by that - and I suck at names so if I don’t use it then i lose it kinda deal - and having your phone number would be totally inappropriate so that’s out ....
All that being said I guess were just average Joe friends - which I said previously - I guess - so I’ve said nothing new here - I’ll see myself out
Just to be clear, we are good friends.
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GymGoddessGoals wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
Are those at similar levels of privacy/intimacy?
I'm not sure I understand the question.
Sorry, let me see if I can ask it more betterer.
You said that if someone know either of those things, you were good friends with that person. Given that those things are out in the world pretty freely (at least for most people)... are you good friends with most people? Or are you more guarded about that information and slower to befriend people? If the latter, are you more apt to give one vs the other in casual interactions?1 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
I know both. Be jelly people 😌🥰💋1 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
Are those at similar levels of privacy/intimacy?
I'm not sure I understand the question.
Sorry, let me see if I can ask it more betterer.
You said that if someone know either of those things, you were good friends with that person. Given that those things are out in the world pretty freely (at least for most people)... are you good friends with most people? Or are you more guarded about that information and slower to befriend people?
My name used to be something that I freely gave until one two three... a hand full of years ago. Its unfortunate that I now regret having shared information with some people who I am no longer friends with in any capacity (don't ask). Now I qualify people to know this information about me. How do I qualify them you ask? I ask myself a few questions:
1. How does this person treat other people
2. How does this person treat me
3. Would I introduce this person to my family
4. Would I invite this person into my home
I would not say I am good friends with most people and now much much slower to befriend people. And at that, I could befriend someone and still never share my first name with that person. The lines between the internet and my personal life are no longer blurred. I would say that most of the people on my FL I would invite into my home. There are some that I still have not given my first name.3 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
Are those at similar levels of privacy/intimacy?
I'm not sure I understand the question.
Sorry, let me see if I can ask it more betterer.
You said that if someone know either of those things, you were good friends with that person. Given that those things are out in the world pretty freely (at least for most people)... are you good friends with most people? Or are you more guarded about that information and slower to befriend people?
My name used to be something that I freely gave until one two three... a hand full of years ago. Its unfortunate that I now regret having shared information with some people who I am no longer friends with in any capacity (don't ask). Now I qualify people to know this information about me. How do I qualify them you ask? I ask myself a few questions:
1. How does this person treat other people
2. How does this person treat me
3. Would I introduce this person to my family
4. Would I invite this person into my home
I would not say I am good friends with most people and now much much slower to befriend people. And at that, I could befriend someone and still never share my first name with that person. The lines between the internet and my personal life are no longer blurred. I would say that most of the people on my FL I would invite into my home. There are some that I still have not given my first name.
Interesting, thanks for sharing. I hope I didn't overstep.. I assume you wouldn't have responded if I had.
ETA -- I think I lost sight of the context of this thread (MFP's friends list). Your comments make much more sense now... I couldn't figure out how you managed to get through life/work/social situations/etc without people knowing your name, lol.1 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
Are those at similar levels of privacy/intimacy?
I'm not sure I understand the question.
Sorry, let me see if I can ask it more betterer.
You said that if someone know either of those things, you were good friends with that person. Given that those things are out in the world pretty freely (at least for most people)... are you good friends with most people? Or are you more guarded about that information and slower to befriend people?
My name used to be something that I freely gave until one two three... a hand full of years ago. Its unfortunate that I now regret having shared information with some people who I am no longer friends with in any capacity (don't ask). Now I qualify people to know this information about me. How do I qualify them you ask? I ask myself a few questions:
1. How does this person treat other people
2. How does this person treat me
3. Would I introduce this person to my family
4. Would I invite this person into my home
I would not say I am good friends with most people and now much much slower to befriend people. And at that, I could befriend someone and still never share my first name with that person. The lines between the internet and my personal life are no longer blurred. I would say that most of the people on my FL I would invite into my home. There are some that I still have not given my first name.
Interesting, thanks for sharing. I hope I didn't overstep.. I assume you wouldn't have responded if I had.
Not at all.0 -
_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
I know both. Be jelly people 😌🥰💋
Yes you do and you can come live with me with all your babies.1 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »_sw33tp3a_11 wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »If you know my first name or have my phone number we are good friends.
I know both. Be jelly people 😌🥰💋
Yes you do and you can come live with me with all your babies.
I so love you ❤💋1
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