Can I ask a serious question?

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xneurocentric
xneurocentric Posts: 44 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm sorry, I know this isn't a game, and it probably won't be fun, but I'm looking for as much input as I can get.

I'm 25, and I'm a sophomore in college. Right now, I'm a Russian major, but I've been struggling with pre-med for a while now. I keep going back and forth on it, for a few reasons. I'd like to have a family, I'd like to have a life, but I also LOVE the human body (particularly the brain) and I salivate practically over procedures I've seen. On the other hand, I hate knowing I'd have to deal with self-righteous pricks who are competing with me to get the best grades to get into medical school, and their only goal is to ace the MCAT with the top grade (I literally heard one girl say this).

What's also pushing me away is my family, particularly my mother. She's hell bent on me NOT even considering medical school, mainly from the debt you accrue. She thinks I'd never be able to pay it back, despite the fact that millions of physicians have been doing it for years before me. She's YELLED at me - I'm not kidding - about wanting to be a doctor. I'm not understanding why. I'm not an idiot, and I know the process and what I'm up against.

I've been waffling on this idea for five years, and every time, it's some stupid person telling me NOT to that's usually the reason. I want a family, but I also want to be a doctor. And I'm just not sure what to choose.

What would you do? Would you say, "Screw everyone," and go for what you want? Or would you back off to make things easier?
I'll be willing to answer any other questions, if there are any. Thanks.
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Replies

  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    This is your life and it is the only one you're ever going to have. Don't live it with regrets.

    Who the hell cares what everyone else thinks?

    Do what makes YOU happy! At the end of the day, it is how YOU feel that counts. Not what your mother, friend, sister, or anyone else thinks or feels. JUST YOU.
  • MollyRedinger
    MollyRedinger Posts: 14 Member
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    I think you should do whatever will make YOU happy. Be a Doctor and have a family! Why not?? If you don't follow your dreams you will always regret it.
  • IggyL
    IggyL Posts: 181 Member
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    This is your life and only you can live it, do what you dream of.
  • rockylucas
    rockylucas Posts: 343 Member
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    Pursue your passions... become a doctor, AND have a family, because if your heart desires both than you will work hard and have both :)

    Besides... A few years from now when you are a doctor and have a family, you can tell your mother " I told you so" ALL the time ;)
  • 06MustangGT
    06MustangGT Posts: 43
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    Ill keep my response short and sweet. Life's too short. You have to live for YOU and do what YOU want and what makes you happy, providing of course it isn't harming anyone haha. But yeah I say do what YOU want to do because in the long run its your life and you have to live with the choices you make. You don't want this to be something you regret for the rest of your life and always wonder "What if?".
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    You already know your answer.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    Do what you want to do or you will be miserable!
  • scantrll
    scantrll Posts: 271 Member
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    My step-brother and his wife are both in their residencies and have not one but two sets of med school debt. They also have a 1.5 year old daughter and are happy and making it work. You do what makes YOU happy. You're the one that has to live your life for the REST of your life, not your mom or the rest of your family. It won't be easy, but in the long run you'll be happier.
  • ajfranzen77
    ajfranzen77 Posts: 118
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    Do what will make you happy!! Don't pick something just to make everyone else happy, if you do this you will hate your life!!!! If you feel the way you say you do about medicine, it shouldn't even be a question of what you should do! Screw everyone else and make yourself happy!

    Good Luck with Med school!!!
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 784 Member
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    Screw everyone. Do what YOU want. My FIL is a doc - general practioner. Being a doc is not easy. And it takes a lot of work. However, if that's what makes you happy you should do it. It doesn't matter what you do in life just so long as you are happy.

    You can make a ton of money and be miserable or make just enough to get by and be happy. it isn't the money, it is how you spend your life. And helping people, if you can, sounds like a pretty darn good career to me.

    Good luck with your decision. It isn't easy and you can't make everyone happy. In the end though, it is your life and you have to live with your decision. Choose to be happy.
  • CarolineSuzanneSmith
    CarolineSuzanneSmith Posts: 127 Member
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    Go for medical school. My husband starts medical school next August, and we are totally excited for our future, which includes starting a family (we're 21 and 22 right now). My father in law went through medical school and was able to have a wonderful family, as well as pay of his debt from medical school. Furthermore, my sister graduates from medical school in May, and she fully plans on being a practicing physician that also supports a family.

    Being a doctor, especially if you plan on being a neuro-doctor, you will definitely be able to pay off your debt. My husband and I will have to :)

    If your dream is to be a doctor AND have a family...then lucky for you, you can have both :) Go for medical school. Good luck!
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Well, some people can take it, some can't. If you can find someone who will understand that you won't always be there because you're on call, then you found a treasure. I have a sister who's a doctor. She had 3 kids, a wonderful hubby and everything. They just divorced last year because he felt neglected and she told him "you need to deal with it. You knew what I was before you married me." People will tell you "screw the world, do what you want." But I will only say, go for your goals, just consider everything. Just don't live with regrets. Good luck!
  • MyouTakara
    MyouTakara Posts: 45
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    Do what is best for you. Financial aid does exist, and there are programs that can help you pay for med school. A lot of places will pay for you if you promise to work for them for X number of years.

    And according to my friends in nursing, DOs aren't nearly as bad as MDs. MDs tend to be the pricks.
  • maureendonahue
    maureendonahue Posts: 468 Member
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    Do you WANT to be a doctor? Most doctors I know have families, so that is not a reason. The debt you would have to take on is considerable, but there are programs that would forgive the debt (or at least part of it) if you work in an underserved community for a few years.

    It is your life, and I believe you should go for what you really want. If it is something in the medical field, perhaps nursing would fit better into your overall goals and desires. Keep your options open, keep your mind open and do what you think is best for you.

    Good luck!
  • muddydan
    muddydan Posts: 1
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    I graduated from med school 10 yrs ago. You will accrue at least a second mortgage in debt. The medical profession if full of Type A personalities but not everyone is a self righteous prick. It is a ton of work and dedication. It is possible to have a family and run through medical school/residency but it's not easy. If you really enjoy it, then it's worth it. If you are interested in medicine for any other reason, don't. Doctors are making less now than they used to and will be making still less in the future, we are constrained more and more by rules, insurance companies, etc. My dad tried to talk me out of it as well but mostly so I'd have no illusions about what I was getting into. It's a very long and difficult road, but if you really enjoy it, it is worth it.
  • xneurocentric
    xneurocentric Posts: 44 Member
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    Thanks everyone for your responses. And it was really awesome to see people who have family members in medical school/in practice. I have a Biology class I'm taking right now, and it is made for people who are either Science majors or wanting pre-med. I'm trying to see how I do in this class and see how I can handle it and how I enjoy it. But I'm definitely leaning towards medical school again. I just can't leave it alone!
  • wutamunkee
    wutamunkee Posts: 440 Member
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    "Would you say, "Screw everyone," and go for what you want? "

    YES! Winner winner!

    You have to do what makes YOU happy... it gets easier once you start doing it... trust me, I know how hard it is...
  • MaryK71
    MaryK71 Posts: 10
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    Go for what you want. I was told by many when I had a career I wanted to pursue, that's not what you want or what you should do. I listened and didn't think I was smart enough to do it. I regret it still today, I have a family now and I will support my kids' in whatever their goals are in life. Maybe your mom or some of your family are jealous. Don't give up on your dreams, have no regrets.
  • xneurocentric
    xneurocentric Posts: 44 Member
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    I graduated from med school 10 yrs ago. You will accrue at least a second mortgage in debt. The medical profession if full of Type A personalities but not everyone is a self righteous prick. It is a ton of work and dedication. It is possible to have a family and run through medical school/residency but it's not easy. If you really enjoy it, then it's worth it. If you are interested in medicine for any other reason, don't. Doctors are making less now than they used to and will be making still less in the future, we are constrained more and more by rules, insurance companies, etc. My dad tried to talk me out of it as well but mostly so I'd have no illusions about what I was getting into. It's a very long and difficult road, but if you really enjoy it, it is worth it.

    While I won't say my reasons for being a physician are completely altruistic, I do want to help people, and money is not the goal. I really am interested in the human body and I'm telling you, I've seen some procedures that I've just found fascinating - and ORlive is one of my favorite websites!

    My mother is really more worried about the debt than I am. I realize it is just a part of going to medical school. I know that I will have a ton of debt at the end, but I also know that it is possible to pay it all off. She just doesn't seem to think it's worth it. I thank you for your response. :)
  • Deathwithab
    Deathwithab Posts: 462 Member
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    There is no easy road in life, so do what you want to because in the end we all struggle to make ends meet at times and we also have times when we do great, it's a matter of being happy threw it all doing what you love with people who support and love you

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