The main reasons I believe people don't reach goals

Options
2»

Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,529 Member
    Options
    gcminton wrote: »
    I can see fear being a huge contributor and that it could manifest in many different ways.

    I've lost weight in 30-50 pound segments, with long stretches of maintaining it in between, and a big part of why I keep stopping is frankly just that long-term habit or lifestyle change is very difficult to stick to with a ton of moving parts to figure out.

    But... as I get smaller, there is a definite background fear. I do have a history of being abused and assaulted, which absolutely colors the landscape, and I'm now creeping around 200 pounds (60 from my main goal) which is smaller than I've ever been as an adult. I genuinely have no idea how young I was the last time I was this weight, so there's a lurking fear of the unknown that's getting more and more apparent.

    This totally new territory, and the increased attention that is coming with it, is almost terrifying if I focus on it too much. What if I fail and gain it all back? What if I'm not the invisible fat lady anymore and I start getting hit on? What if my lifestyle isn't compatible with my fiance's anymore (he isn't currently working on his weight) and we can't stay happy together?

    I'm sticking to my guns and I WILL reach my goal, but...What if what if what if.
    So sorry for that. There's incidences I've heard of where females try to make themselves look undesirable because of early childhood sex abuse. I don't know how hard that is for anyone that goes through that. I hope that whoever does that to any kid or person gets their karma in the end.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,158 Member
    edited March 2021
    Options
    gcminton wrote: »
    This totally new territory, and the increased attention that is coming with it, is almost terrifying if I focus on it too much. What if I fail and gain it all back? What if I'm not the invisible fat lady anymore and I start getting hit on? What if my lifestyle isn't compatible with my fiance's anymore (he isn't currently working on his weight) and we can't stay happy together?

    I'm sticking to my guns and I WILL reach my goal, but...What if what if what if.

    I'm sorry you had those experiences. It wasn't right and it wasn't your fault.

    I have thought about both of these things too. I have rarely been targeted for the type of harassment that many other women report, and I think my weight could play a role. Not that it's ever justified, but there's a part of me that thinks as you say...hmmm...what if??? Though I'm also not very young anymore, and I have been told I have RBF (I definitely believe it. I'm pretty no-nonsense and I'm sure that's reflected in how I go about my daily life, ha).

    I have never weighed less than my husband. Even when we started dating and I wasn't overweight, I still weighed more than him. When I reach my goal weight I will weigh less than he does now. I feel like that will shift some things in our marriage and that is a little bit scary. The unknown is scary.

    I think worth it, though.
  • Beautyofdreams
    Beautyofdreams Posts: 1,009 Member
    Options
    @chickenKillerPuppy this is exactly what I told a new friend who messaged me for motivation. I believe that forming and swapping habits are more important. People fail when they don't practice consistent healthy habits or rationalize their behavior to avoid developing those habits. Everyone is a reflection of their habits. While I set goals they have nothing to do with weight but with fitness or learning how to improve exercise technique or fitness levels.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,885 Member
    Options

    cnv3mqbxsey7.png

    2vnwl9ad476p.png
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,885 Member
    Options
    I find that for me, weight loss requires a certain mindset. I have to be quite focused and then I can say "no" to the extras.

    I find that for me, weight loss also requires life to be a little bit busy to provide a distraction ... but not overwhelmingly busy.


    I'm like that in life in general. If I want to accomplish something, I can't have too many distractions, but a few distractions help.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,529 Member
    Options
    bump

Categories