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WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2021

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  • cityjaneLondoncityjaneLondon Member Posts: 8,927 Member Member Posts: 8,927 Member
    Sue - Sending big hugs. Definitely don't go to see her. <3 I know the hurt when it's time to end a friendship, but only she can turn her life around and you are not her whipping girl. And she is far too old to be still blaming a parent. Alcohol loves misery.
    Lots of love to you. Thank you for reaching out to us.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • exermomexermom Member Posts: 5,205 Member Member Posts: 5,205 Member
    Rebecca – I know exactly what you mean thinking about kids you haven’t heard from. We talked to Denise last week, the time before that (and only I spoke to her) we talked was in mid-January.

    Barbara – I remember FIL saying a while ago “I’m so busy being retired, where did I ever find the time to work”. At the time I thought “yea, sure”. Now I know what he meant!!!

    LHCD – welcome. Happy early birthday. I know it gets harder to lose as we get older, but it CAN be done. Maybe it’s because we’ve grown more and more tolerant?

    Michele NC
    who is off to Newcomer bowling
  • WhidislanderWhidislander Member Posts: 1,050 Member Member Posts: 1,050 Member
    exermom wrote: »
    Rebecca – I know exactly what you mean thinking about kids you haven’t heard from. We talked to Denise last week, the time before that (and only I spoke to her) we talked was in mid-January.

    Barbara – I remember FIL saying a while ago “I’m so busy being retired, where did I ever find the time to work”. At the time I thought “yea, sure”. Now I know what he meant!!!

    LHCD – welcome. Happy early birthday. I know it gets harder to lose as we get older, but it CAN be done. Maybe it’s because we’ve grown more and more tolerant?

    Michele NC
    who is off to Newcomer bowling

    Awe, yep its a tough thing. I am constantly readjusting my thoughts, trying to think of all my positives and put aside my negative feelings. Its exhausting. But I think for the most part, I am succeeding. My one addiction seems to be sweet things. Its not pills or booze, and that alone makes me grateful.
    💖 Rebecca
  • skuehn48skuehn48 Member Posts: 1,573 Member Member Posts: 1,573 Member
  • grandmalliegrandmallie Member Posts: 6,843 Member Member Posts: 6,843 Member
    Pip- you and Kirby and Yogi look so happy..
    So glad your having an awesome time
  • barbiecatbarbiecat Member Posts: 14,808 Member Member Posts: 14,808 Member
    <3Sue in WA Tell your friend to join Alcoholics Anonymous. She can find a solution to her problem and find people who will love her no matter what she has done. You cannot help her.

    :)[bbLisa[/b] I have a daily schedule. Gretchen Rubin says that things that can be done at any time often get done at no time.

    :)Heather Congrats on scheduling a cruise

    <3 Barbie in NW WA
  • WhidislanderWhidislander Member Posts: 1,050 Member Member Posts: 1,050 Member
    Pip you guys look really happy and relaxed! Cheers you!
    💖 Rebecca
  • Snowflake1968Snowflake1968 Member Posts: 5,340 Member Member Posts: 5,340 Member
    Sue - I can empathize with you.
    Sue - I can empathize with what you are going through. One of my closest friends, my Godchildren’s Mother, had a terrible experience in 2016. Her and I had been friends since 1982. I called the police on her and she was committed to the psychiatric unit for 3 months. She was finally at the age of 50 diagnosed with bipolar and got the help she so needed at different times in her life. I had cut her off from 2005-2008, and very cautiously communicated with her through FB only. It was 2011 when I first saw her
    in person. She was doing well until 2016. Before she was admitted she threatened me on FB called our daughter and threatened both her Father and I, told all of our mutual friends on FB how terribly I was being abused by my husband and then threatening me and telling some things I had shared with her. It took me a couple of months after her release before I communicated again. I am very cautious what I say to her now, but I check in with her regularly because I knew it was the disease and not her. I won’t invite her to my house ever again though.

    Tracey
  • Snowflake1968Snowflake1968 Member Posts: 5,340 Member Member Posts: 5,340 Member
    Allie - I was mean too, but we are close now.

    Heather - I hope Covid has lessened a lot by then. I glad you have insurance though.

    Kate - what a cute hat.

    Cheri - I thought it would be quite complicated. Mind you, a daisy chain is complicated for me. I can knit, a little tiny bit, but I’ve never been able to learn crochet despite my Grandmother’s and Daughter trying.

    Lisa - I am not retired, but probably wouldn’t do a schedule. I tend to base my activities on how I feel each day.
    Beautiful photo.

    Michele - I have told people what I can afford and ask if it fits within the range. I always go less than I am willing to spend and then see where they go.

    Rebecca - I would be thinking about him a lot too if I was in your situation. It must be so difficult for you. Hugs to you.

    Barbie - I think Gretchen is spot on! I have so many things to do that I don’t do for no other reason than it can be done anytime.

    Incredibly busy time at work. I need to just be able to work later right now, but because Rodger is home alone all day while I’m at work I feel guilty staying away longer. He understands and hasn’t said anything, but I still feel guilty.

    He has agreed to get the vaccine when it’s available for his age group. He doesn’t want it, but said tonight he’ll get it so I don’t nag. In this case, and how it could affect our whole family and with his health issues I don’t mind if that’s the only reason he gets it. 🤷‍♀️ I think it shows love in my book.

    Tracey in Edmonton
  • dlfk202000dlfk202000 Member Posts: 833 Member Member Posts: 833 Member






    Being that he's on a Navy ship I could text until I'm blue in the face, but if he's not online, its for nothing. Most of the time the ship is in EMCOM, which means emergency communication only, and sadly missing your son isnt an emergency. He's never online, the phone number I have for him doesn't go anywhere. I just have to distract myself with other things. I had gotten a hold of the ship's Chaplain after the holidays came and went, and he was able to have a meeting with him. The Chaplain informed me that he's healthy, seems positive, (though felt bad about the non communication thing), and an asset to his division heads. So he's not depressed, which was one of my main concerns. So what I have to get thru my head, is not communicating is my sons way of handling the separation. Though hard on the family, I guess I have to be ok with that. I still wrestle with my feelings of it all.
    Rebecca[/quote]

    I am glad you have the information from the chaplain. VERY glad to hear that he is not depressed and doing ok. Can you send care packages? I know he doesn't have many chances to check in with you but he should at least check in.
    I hope you hear from him soon.
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 19,032 Member Member Posts: 19,032 Member
    Have talked to my best friend a lot of late, and one thing she suggested is that I develop a schedule of sorts - such as wash the sheets on Fridays, deep clean one room a week, quilt one day each week, paint on another and so on. I am somewhat reluctant, and I'm not sure why. For those of you who are retired or don't work outside the home, do you have a schedule?

    Later, y'all,
    Love, Lisa in AR

    My mother was a schedule person like that with household activities and meals.

    I know I'm not retired and do work outside the home, but I'll answer anyway ... I'm much more of an "as needed" person. When my laundry hamper gets to a certain level, I do my laundry. When the carpet starts to bother me or when we have an inspection, I'll do the carpet.

    I've tried to do the schedule thing like you've mentioned and within about 2 weeks, I'm frustrated with it. For me, it shifts things into "have to do" rather than "want to do".
    I've also tried to do the 15 minute thing but that doesn't work for me either. I need to get into a project.

    So instead, I've got a list.

    • At the top of the list are upcoming appointments and things that have dates attached to them.
    • Next are the "Top 10" or "Top 20" things I want to focus on next. This section will include whatever regularly occurring things I want to do as well, like "wash sheet & towels".
    • Next is the complete list of everything I want to accomplish this year or longer. As things get done in the section above, I'll select things from here and move them into the "Top 10-20" section.
    • And at the bottom are all the things I've done. When I complete something, it moves down into the Done section.


    On my calendar, I have a "meeting" that contains my "Top 10-20" which usually sits on Monday evening and moves to the next week and next week as time goes by. It also gets updated regularly.

    On my calendar, I also have a similar "meeting" for my cycling club and projects. Like right now, I'm working on creating a set of 50 km routes. I'd like to have a set of at least 12 by the end of the year. So far I've got 5 that are complete or mostly complete.

    On my calendar, I've also got reminders to order groceries, exercise, and a few other things.


    That's what works for me.

    Machka in Oz
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 19,032 Member Member Posts: 19,032 Member
    You have to clean each apparatus before and after each use. We just don't know if we want to spend the 30 minutes cleaning, while we do the 30 minutes of machine work.
    💖Rebecca


    That's standard practice for the gyms here, even before COVID. As soon as you finish, you get the spray bottle and paper towels and wipe down your machine. Or some gyms have a big container of wet wipes.

    It would be really "icky" if someone sweated all over a machine or bench or something and then you've got to do your workout in all their sweat! (((shudder))).


    M in Oz
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 19,032 Member Member Posts: 19,032 Member
    skuehn48 wrote: »
    Now suddenly she has sent me e-mails the last two days. She wants me to go visit her in CO so she can tell me all the gory details of her life story and then see if we can still be friends. She believes that I won't like her if I know that about her and that I want her to change and pretend to be someone she is not. I am afraid to put myself in that position and I hate that I feel that way but I do not want to be alone with her in a place where I have no escape. At this point in time she frightens me.

    Sorry for the long story, should have put it in a spoiler.

    Everyone take care, Sue in WA

    I would probably email her back and say that I am happy to be her friend and her life story won't change that, but that I am not travelling anywhere these days and therefore will not be going to CO.


    M in Oz
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 19,032 Member Member Posts: 19,032 Member
    Winter is coming! Evidently they are predicting snow down to 600 metres on Sunday. Oh well ... at least Easter was absolutely gorgeous!

    0v0tswtgbwlu.png


    M in Oz
  • OregonMotherOregonMother Member Posts: 1,115 Member Member Posts: 1,115 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    You have to clean each apparatus before and after each use. We just don't know if we want to spend the 30 minutes cleaning, while we do the 30 minutes of machine work.
    💖Rebecca


    That's standard practice for the gyms here, even before COVID. As soon as you finish, you get the spray bottle and paper towels and wipe down your machine. Or some gyms have a big container of wet wipes.

    It would be really "icky" if someone sweated all over a machine or bench or something and then you've got to do your workout in all their sweat! (((shudder))).


    M in Oz

    The same here. It doesn't take but a few minutes on either side of the activity.

    I'm here. Struggling a little. Just so much going on. Hubby is sick -- prostate stuff -- so we are having to rethink intimacy. Neither one of us is very happy. It's not cancer, yet, I guess, but his numbers are heading dramatically in the wrong direction, so he's on a boat load of medication and is scheduled to see his urologist again in six weeks.

    Getting old gracefully is easier for some than others, apparently.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR

  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 19,032 Member Member Posts: 19,032 Member
    I'm not sure about changing the ending because when that will be or what will happen between now and then.
    But each day we can start now and make changes that may influence our futures ... whether that's just later today, tomorrow, next week, or years from now.

    ar8bkdo6sp6x.png
  • Snowflake1968Snowflake1968 Member Posts: 5,340 Member Member Posts: 5,340 Member
    Machka - you said what I was trying to say about schedules much more eloquently than I. Lists are not part of my daily life either though.

    Flea - sorry your husband isn’t well. I wasn’t graceful when Rodger’s stomach was upset and then with my hip issues when it came to that either.

    Pip - love the pictures

    Tracey
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