I hit my goal weight! Thanks, I hate it here.

GoalWeight168by2021 · May 2021

SW: 245
GW: 168
CW: 168
I started in Dec 2019 and hit my goal weight a couple of months ago. I'm 5'9".
You guys, I look terrible. I mean, awful. My stomach looks AWFUL.
I should point out that i am 42F, and I have had twins (13 years ago!) and that didn't help.
I'm not saying I want to go back to being 245, but, I thought I would look better than this. Not model, but...not this.
So, I know I have a few realistic options:
1. Build more muscle. I am looking at some workouts, been doing kettlebells, etc, and if anyone has any suggestions on that front, please post them!
2. Lost a bit more weight. I'm at the high end of normal range. I could try to keep losing some more weight, but it's HARD at this point to lose any more, so, again, if anyone has any suggestions at this point, please post!
3. Plastic surgery. I don't know the first thing about it though.

Anything I'm missing? Any suggestions?

Thanks! This community always posts such helpful advice!

Dootzy1 · May 2021

For skin adjustment, I've read that it takes awhile (a year?) for natural tightening of some of that skin. It bears repeating--Focus on how much better you can move your renewed body. I know some who have lost as much as you did go with a tummy tuck or skin removal, so explore that after you give it a year or so.

janejellyroll · May 2021

Note: I've never had a baby and have no insight into the postpartum body, although I know others here will have good insight for you.

When I reached my goal weight, I kept noticing improvements for at least a year afterward as I kept up with maintaining my weight and doing resistance exercises.

Lietchi · May 2021

Some options for you:
- patience: as said above me, skin takes time to shrink, so it can still get better!
- building muscle mass is certainly a good idea, it'll help firm things up. And getting stronger is cool too, I love it

- some people seem to have had good results with doing regular stomach vacuum exercises
- check out this thread: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10689837/does-this-uterus-make-my-stomach-look-fat#latest

I'm in a similar situation, I've reached my goal weight and yeah, some things are way flabbier than I like. But at least I look 200% better clothed

yirara · May 2021

Patience! Skin needs a while to adjust. Genetics play a big role as well of course, but you're still young! And lets be honest: You lost an awful lot of weight! Do you think your stomach looked better before you lost it? Mind you, my mom never was overweight, and her stomach looked awful because she had my sister and me.

wunderkindking · May 2021

So, my original goal weight was 150 - which is the top end of a normal bmi for me. I have a small frame and carry all my weight in my breasts and stomach. At the top end of BMI I looked MUCH better than obese but it was still pretty... disproprotional (ie: stick thin arms and legs, big boobs and belly with lots of sag). Seems like almost all the torso weight has come off in that last 7, so losing more may help, if you can find the desire to do so (same thing that always worked for me worked - yeah my calories to lose are lower now but my activity is also naturally higher and my habits are pretty ingrained). Plus the whole onion thing - the smaller you get the more difference loss makes. Losing 10 when I was 190 was nothing. Now it's very noticeable when I lose 5.

But also, and more importantly: Both your body and your perception of it take time to adjust. I go to buy clothes and I'm still trying to pick up size 16 pants and 2XL shirts. I'm a size 8 in pants and a medium/large in shirts. I was obese for 20 years. It's going to take a while for my brain to catch back up with reality, I suspect.

cmriverside · May 2021

I would definitely keep losing a bit more weight.

I lost about 80 pounds (5'8", 220 down to 140ish) and it took a good two years for me for the skin to tighten up, but I was mid-fifties.

I didn't even get a set of twins as a gift!

TinaLeigh67 · May 2021

Congratulations on your accomplishments. I understand the pregnant with twins issues. I did not have twins, but I am a twin and my mother has blamed my sister and I all our lives (53 years) for what we did to her body. Granted, she has been heavy most of my life and that did not help matters, but 14 pounds of baby in a 5'2" small framed body was not nice to her. The recommendations above are great. You may be surprised by skin changes over the next year and putting some muscle on is always a benefit. Then, if the results are still not to your liking, you can always discuss with a physician.

MaltedTea · May 2021

You could pursue any of the three options or a combination thereof.

When it comes to cosmetic surgery/enhancements, there are invasive, "minimally invasive," and non-invasive options to wade through where nothing costs less than $1000 or so. If your pockets are deeper than the folds of skin on your stomach 😉, then this may be worth exploring. It's just that results are so individualized. As with anything YMMV. (I'm speaking more so from experience and less so snarkiness on this topic... seeing as I've recently done research in this area. My stomach's skin and stretch marks are trying to stop me from being great too 😂)

Sara3veg · May 2021

I’m a mom of three kiddos/pregnancies. During my initial weight loss phase years ago, where I lost around 50lbs, I had the same exact reaction as you’re having. The morning I hit my initial goal weight I broke down crying because I hated how I looked. Everything was so flabby/loose, I looked like a deflated balloon 🤦‍♀️ I ended up continuing on with weight loss for 10 more pounds and then started doing brisk 1-3 miles walks 5 days a week. I also started doing body weight exercises like push-ups, modified pull-ups etc. Nothing too intense and no equipment. 6 months later I looked pretty amazing 🙂

So give it some time, maybe start new exercise/bump up existing if you’re already doing something, and then you might want to reevaluate your goal weight as time goes on.

OnceAndFutureAthlete · May 2021

cmriverside wrote: »

I didn't even get a set of twins as a gift!

I was defininetly not thinking children when I read this the first time.

springlering62 · May 2021

Cup half full. Look at yourself hard in the mirror. You are better than you were X months ago. Would you want to go back there again?

Skin will improve with time. Not everything is going to become perfection.

I just redid my profile pic this morning. If you blow it up, you can see a flap or pouch of extra skin gathered in the Y of my racebrback tank. I had no idea that was there. Am I going to lose sleep over it? Hell no. Two or three years ago my body had more pouches than a troop of kangaroos.

It’s better than it was before.

Love Yourself and laugh at Yourself. No one’s going to be harder on you than Yourself, so give Yourself some grace. Yourself is hard to get along with sometimes. Tell Yourself to shut up.

Theo166 · May 2021

Try appreciating how you look in clothes, instead of out of them.

Maybe buy some new outfits that compliment your new weight?

None of us will ever look 17 again, but we can focus on the positives that come with our weight loss.

Spotteddingo · May 2021

@springlering62 " Love Yourself and laugh at Yourself. No one’s going to be harder on you than Yourself, so give Yourself some grace. Yourself is hard to get along with sometimes. Tell Yourself to shut up."

I love this! I copied it and will put on my mirror.

rosebarnalice · May 2021

I just choose not to take selfies in my undies, and be damned proud of how good I look in my skinny jeans :-)

chocolate_owl · May 2021

I'm one of those people who looks Not Good at the high end of the normal BMI range. Around a 20-21 BMI, I look awesome - hourglass figure, nice stomach, all that jazz. When I put on some weight and get to 24-25 BMI, it all seems to go to my stomach first, and my hourglass figure is suddenly a lot more ball-shaped. Getting up into the overweight range, 27 BMI or so, my boobs and hips fill out again and I get that thicker curve look going on. Of course, now that I'm getting this weight back off, the process is happening in reverse, and I'm starting to hit that lovely ball shape right now.

If I were in your shoes, I'd try to lose more weight. Either take a diet break because ugh being in a deficit all the time is EXHAUSTING and get back at it in a month or so, or change your goal to lose 0.5 lbs a week and slowly chip away at it. Let your skin adjust and start to tighten up. Keep lifting weights to preserve all the muscle you can. What weight program is right for you depends on what you have access to (a full gym? a few kettlebells at home?) and if you have any restrictions (bad back, bad knees, etc.), but this is a thread that can help you explore options on that front: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1

Fflpnari · May 2021

Definitely start weightlifting!! I've lost 100lbs. I have loose skin. for me I choose loose skin over extra weight any day!!! I wear workout clothes with compression. I find them more comfortable to hold my skin.

Beverly2Hansen · May 2021

So I would consider elbow planking. This will take months to perfect but by the end of month 1 you'll notice improvement. Start as long as you can hold and go up to 2min. Once at 2 minutes add side planks same method. It helps a lot in the loose skin or weird shape department when other options fail also add cellulite brushing daily it speeds up skinfirming🙂

ridiculous59 · May 2021

I lost 90 pounds in my 50's. I had three pregnancies. I look good in clothes, and decent in my sports-type bathing suit at the pool. But would I ever wear a cropped shirt to the gym or a two piece bathing suit? Nope.

Here are my suggestions:

Take a bit of diet break and then try losing a few more pounds. Your "goal weight" isn't something that's immoveable. You're allowed to be flexible with it, as long as you stay within a healthy range. For example, my original goal weight was 145, but now I'm very slowly working on getting down to 140, just to see how I look and feel at that weight, then I'll re-assess.

Check your posture in the mirror. How we hold ourselves definitely affects our overall "look". We can get into some bad habits when we're overweight.

Core work was/is a consistent part of my overall exercise plan, things like planks and the boat pose in yoga. They don't get rid of the excess fat, but a stronger core has many overall benefits (and definitely makes it easier to "suck it in" for photos or while walking across the pool deck to swim lengths 😉).

Give your body some time for your skin to adjust. It may take months. It may take a couple of years.

xrj22 · May 2021

I want to echo the "be patient" message. It takes time for your skin to shrink, and your body will still re-adjust some. Also, I am sure you are being much more critical of your body than anyone else would be. You just lost 76 lbs! Wow, that's great. I am sure you look much better in clothes than you used to, and I am sure you feel and move better. You may also need to experiment a bit to find out what kind of clothes you look and feel best in. That may have completely changed for you. The sad, honest truth is that a lot of us just never look really *good* naked after age 40. And that even applies to people who *haven't* given birth or been obese. For now, try to appreciate the really GREAT things you have done for yourself.

sijomial · May 2021

Speaking as a someone the same height I would suggest your current goal weight probably isn't going to turn out to be ultimately your best weight.
My initial goal weight also turned out to be too high and I spent an extended period of time adjusting in small increments.

But I'd strongly suggest maintaining where you are for few months and then reassess as you are finding further weight loss to be "HARD" right now. It does take time for your body and mind to catch up with weight loss. Do remember that when you are close to goal weight and want to drop some pounds there's no time pressure and no need to go into full on diet mode.

Yes as others have mentioned skin continues to catch up with your weight loss for quite a long period of time. I was disappointed with my baggy stomach when I got to goal and only lost a much smaller amount of weight than you. It probably continued to improve for the next two years.

"Build more muscle" - great idea, the most efficient way is with weights following a sensible program but do be aware that training muscle doesn't work your skin, it's not contractile tissue. It might give you a better frame to hang your skin on though. It can also be part of changing your mindset from weight loss and looks to health and what your body can do.

Do try to focus on the amazing health benefits from losing all that excess weight rather than appearance.

psuLemon · May 2021

What i have found, it always takes longer to get the body that you thought you would get. Even at 10 lbs lower than my original goal weight, i still didn't have the body I fully wanted but it did look better. So its probably best to keep losing (after a 2 week diet break), run higher protein (120-150g) and lift.

bgorman65 · May 2021

This is not me, but I love it as an incentive to work out! It won't help with your skin, but it will help shape your body into something even more amazing!

FibroHiker · May 2021

I got really heavy with my first pregnancy and gained 70 pounds at the age of 20. With each subsequent pregnancy I went back up to that high number and then didn't lose the weight right away. After my last child was born I was 60 pounds overweight and decided to do something. I lost that extra weight over 18 months and felt great. I looked great too, but at the time I was 32 years old.

Since then I have gone up and down on the scale a few times. At the age of 41 I began having health problems that took a while to figure out and I put on about 40 lbs. Last year I lost 22 of those pounds and I keep working on losing more. Now that I am 46, I've noticed that my skin is just different. I seem to lose weight everywhere and elsewhere my skin is fine, but that area where my skin stretched out with pregnancy is not snapping back like it once did.

I notice how different my thoughts are about plastic surgery now versus when I was younger. At earlier ages I scoffed at any form of surgery. Now, my girlfriends and I talk regularly about getting breast lifts and tummy tucks. We have all been in that situation where we've gained weight and then lost it, only to have our bodies not want to snap back.

I am going to do like others have suggested here: do more core exercises, try to lose more pounds, reduce inches overall, and keep working on my goal weight. If that doesn't work, a tuck with skin tightening may be in my future.

springlering62 · May 2021

As @psuLemon and @sijomial say, re-evaluate your goal, too.

My goal weight was 168. I thought if ever I got there, I would have been successful beyond my wildest hopes.

When I reached 168, I set a new goal of 150, again thinking I’d never get there, and when I did, set a third goal of 140, still thinking this is crazy.

And, when I dropped as low as 127 and looked like a cadaver, I made a conscious decision to add a few back. I’m very happy right where I am now, hovering around 132.

There’s no one holding a stick over you saying “this is your perfect weight, you must be here”. It’s a decision you have to make yourself based on health, and what pleases you.

seltzermint555 · May 2021

Theo166 wrote: »

Try appreciating how you look in clothes, instead of out of them.

Maybe buy some new outfits that compliment your new weight?

None of us will ever look 17 again, but we can focus on the positives that come with our weight loss.

I think this is good advice.
I reached my goal weight of 165 back in 2015 (I am 5'8"). I wasn't happy with the way I looked naked but I really liked the way I looked in clothes.

Now I'm at 186, highest I've been in years, and trying to lose again as I really prefer a bigger buffer between me and 200 lb. (My HW was 307 for reference).
I look - honestly - better naked but not as good in clothes. Would I go back to 165 again? yes. And I plan on it.

GoalWeight168by2021 · May 2021

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. Very helpful advice here!

I hit my goal weight! Thanks, I hate it here.

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