Difficulties we face to lose weight in 30s & 40s

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Replies

  • Fitforevermore
    Fitforevermore Posts: 399 Member
    steveko89 wrote: »
    I'm with @penguinmama87 and skeptical about the purported magnitude of this rampant decline as we age. I don't dispute the existence of these changes but I don't think the year-over-year decline as nearly as prominent as perception would lead one to believe and are dwarfed by the extenuating circumstances baked into lifestyle shifts. For many people it seems like the math changes and they fail to recognize and/or adapt accordingly to those changes.

    Further, I think it's all a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, especially in the current 50-60+ population. I've seen this first hand with my parents and in-laws, all in the early 60s, all overweight to some degree, and all are quick to point out how hard it is to lose weight at their age. However, only one of the four of them have ever taken what I would consider to be a sensible and sustainable approach to losing weight (i.e. tracking/portion control via MFP); otherwise, it's a lot of Dr. Oz-level fad diet attempts and complaining that they're too old and/or don't like to exercise. In my view they're making it hard because they've been told, and believe that it is/has to be hard for them.

    Yes, this is my family too, and it is very hard to watch. It's interesting on a generational level, too - I am blessed to have all of my grandparents still living, and they have had various health concerns but actually are very active and have full lives. Their children are much more doom and gloom about health stuff. Same genes, but generally not doing as well in their 50s and 60s as their parents in their 80s (!). And in their children, that doom and gloom has hit for many in 20s and 30s. I think there's some historical trends and things much bigger than just our particular family dynamic that play a role here, but it's weird and alarming. When I was growing up, I did not think at all I would end up being the cheerful, optimistic one. Yet here we are.

    I generally think "positive thinking!" as a cure-all is a load of hogwash and an excuse to kick some people while they're down. Sometimes really bad stuff does happen, and thinking it won't happen to you won't prevent it. But persistent negative thinking and assuming the worst isn't going to help either.

    There's been massive generational shifts in eating. Over the last 40 years the proportions of fresh food as opposed to highly processed food has flipped. Something like 80%/20% previously, now 20%/80%. I would say eating these foods also has mood repricussions.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,155 Member
    steveko89 wrote: »
    I'm with @penguinmama87 and skeptical about the purported magnitude of this rampant decline as we age. I don't dispute the existence of these changes but I don't think the year-over-year decline as nearly as prominent as perception would lead one to believe and are dwarfed by the extenuating circumstances baked into lifestyle shifts. For many people it seems like the math changes and they fail to recognize and/or adapt accordingly to those changes.

    Further, I think it's all a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, especially in the current 50-60+ population. I've seen this first hand with my parents and in-laws, all in the early 60s, all overweight to some degree, and all are quick to point out how hard it is to lose weight at their age. However, only one of the four of them have ever taken what I would consider to be a sensible and sustainable approach to losing weight (i.e. tracking/portion control via MFP); otherwise, it's a lot of Dr. Oz-level fad diet attempts and complaining that they're too old and/or don't like to exercise. In my view they're making it hard because they've been told, and believe that it is/has to be hard for them.

    Yes, this is my family too, and it is very hard to watch. It's interesting on a generational level, too - I am blessed to have all of my grandparents still living, and they have had various health concerns but actually are very active and have full lives. Their children are much more doom and gloom about health stuff. Same genes, but generally not doing as well in their 50s and 60s as their parents in their 80s (!). And in their children, that doom and gloom has hit for many in 20s and 30s. I think there's some historical trends and things much bigger than just our particular family dynamic that play a role here, but it's weird and alarming. When I was growing up, I did not think at all I would end up being the cheerful, optimistic one. Yet here we are.

    I generally think "positive thinking!" as a cure-all is a load of hogwash and an excuse to kick some people while they're down. Sometimes really bad stuff does happen, and thinking it won't happen to you won't prevent it. But persistent negative thinking and assuming the worst isn't going to help either.

    There's been massive generational shifts in eating. Over the last 40 years the proportions of fresh food as opposed to highly processed food has flipped. Something like 80%/20% previously, now 20%/80%. I would say eating these foods also has mood repricussions.

    I do think about that very thing sometimes, though to be fair, food is hardly the only major change in everyday living over the past few generations. (I'm pretty old fashioned in a lot of ways so you don't have to twist my arm to suggest that not all the changes have been good!)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    steveko89 wrote: »
    I'm with @penguinmama87 and skeptical about the purported magnitude of this rampant decline as we age. I don't dispute the existence of these changes but I don't think the year-over-year decline as nearly as prominent as perception would lead one to believe and are dwarfed by the extenuating circumstances baked into lifestyle shifts. For many people it seems like the math changes and they fail to recognize and/or adapt accordingly to those changes.

    Further, I think it's all a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, especially in the current 50-60+ population. I've seen this first hand with my parents and in-laws, all in the early 60s, all overweight to some degree, and all are quick to point out how hard it is to lose weight at their age. However, only one of the four of them have ever taken what I would consider to be a sensible and sustainable approach to losing weight (i.e. tracking/portion control via MFP); otherwise, it's a lot of Dr. Oz-level fad diet attempts and complaining that they're too old and/or don't like to exercise. In my view they're making it hard because they've been told, and believe that it is/has to be hard for them.

    Yes, this is my family too, and it is very hard to watch. It's interesting on a generational level, too - I am blessed to have all of my grandparents still living, and they have had various health concerns but actually are very active and have full lives. Their children are much more doom and gloom about health stuff. Same genes, but generally not doing as well in their 50s and 60s as their parents in their 80s (!). And in their children, that doom and gloom has hit for many in 20s and 30s. I think there's some historical trends and things much bigger than just our particular family dynamic that play a role here, but it's weird and alarming. When I was growing up, I did not think at all I would end up being the cheerful, optimistic one. Yet here we are.

    I generally think "positive thinking!" as a cure-all is a load of hogwash and an excuse to kick some people while they're down. Sometimes really bad stuff does happen, and thinking it won't happen to you won't prevent it. But persistent negative thinking and assuming the worst isn't going to help either.

    There's been massive generational shifts in eating. Over the last 40 years the proportions of fresh food as opposed to highly processed food has flipped. Something like 80%/20% previously, now 20%/80%. I would say eating these foods also has mood repricussions.

    I do think about that very thing sometimes, though to be fair, food is hardly the only major change in everyday living over the past few generations. (I'm pretty old fashioned in a lot of ways so you don't have to twist my arm to suggest that not all the changes have been good!)

    One of the reasons my 83 year old mother hovers just above underweight is that she still does everything the hard way / old fashioned way / more calorie burning way - for example, she grows a lot of vegetables, heats with wood, and does not have a clothes dryer or dish washer.

    We're moving in with her and my brother this fall and bringing a clothes dryer. They both say they will not use it. I believe her, but not him.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,650 Member
    I started at 56 and lost almost 100. I can honestly say I’m in better shape now than I was, underweight, in my 20’s, before I had kids.

    It wasn’t hard at all to lose weight. It just took awareness, application, and educating myself in so many different ways: nutrition, exercise, diet myths and so on.

    You can make excuses, or you can get off your *kitten* and do something about it. I finally got off my *kitten*.

    You indicate you only started two weeks ago. That’s not enough time at all to analyze if what you are doing is effective. You need at least 4-6 weeks to get past “beginner” water and weight fluctuations, learning how to log, etc. These forums will be your best friend to further your “self” education. And I do mean SELF education.

    I wish you both success, but you also need to discuss ahead of time what happens if one gives up, and r one is super successful. Are you going to continue to support one another? Or will you give up as a couple! Hopefully, you’ll be successful together and we will get one hell of a “Success Story” over on the other board in a few months.
  • vanmep
    vanmep Posts: 410 Member
    edited July 2021
    I think by our 30’s and 40’s we build all kinds of efficiencies into our day that don’t necessarily do any favours in terms of calorie burn. I went for a walk with my 6 year old granddaughter last week. She sat on the floor to tie her shoes, leapt up into the air when she was done, ran up and down the steps three times while she waited for me, ran in two circles while she told me a story, jumped up to touch tree branches and hopped back and forth over a stream. Meanwhile I subconsciously picked the shortest and easiest routes all the way along. I don’t know much about how BMR changes as we age, but I can tell you that I am fundamentally less active than I was 50 years ago.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    The only real weight loss I've ever known was in my late 30s and my 40s. I lost about 40 Lbs when I was 38 and did so in a matter of about 7-8 months. I'm 46 now and currently working on the 20 Lbs I put on during COVID and that is proving to be seemingly more difficult than my first go around...but that's really only perception. I was very disciplined with food and exercise my first go around and I've been a lot more loosey goosey with things this go around.

    In regards to being harder when you're older...I really think that in large part comes down to a decrease in overall activity more than it does a decline in BMR (which is pretty small). In my youth and in my 20s I was very active in both life and work and didn't have the numerous other commitments that I have now. Even with regular, planned exercise, I'm nowhere near as active overall as I was in my 20s. I've worked a desk job since I was 30...previous to that I worked retail, food service, warehouse, and landscape construction. Most of the work I've ever done prior to becoming a desk jockey had me on my feet most of my working hours.
  • MsBaz2018
    MsBaz2018 Posts: 384 Member
    Thank you very much for your response. I am really feeling hopeful now. And congratulation for reducing 15 kg in 15 week effortlessly. :smile:

    I had to laugh at the "effortlessly" part of your answer. The poster did mention reducing calories to 1500 and exercising (albeit gently) up to 2hrs a day. :smiley:
  • DrSelfish1131
    DrSelfish1131 Posts: 35 Member
    I
    You indicate you only started two weeks ago. That’s not enough time at all to analyze if what you are doing is effective. You need at least 4-6 weeks to get past “beginner” water and weight fluctuations, learning how to log, etc. These forums will be your best friend to further your “self” education. And I do mean SELF education.

    I wish you both success, but you also need to discuss ahead of time what happens if one gives up, and r one is super successful. Are you going to continue to support one another? Or will you give up as a couple! Hopefully, you’ll be successful together and we will get one hell of a “Success Story” over on the other board in a few months.

    Many thanks for your response☺️. Me and my wife have started to lose weight steadily💪.
    I am losing weight a bit faster than her though😏 (don't know why as she is working harder and eating lesser than me 🤔).
    I am encouraging her not to lose focus. I know, if we give up as a couple, there will be no "success story"👫. How can I alone be successful without her?👩‍❤️‍👨
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Lol, I wish I was in my 30's and 40's. Late 50's and have to work much much harder than I did at those ages. And I'm in pretty good shape.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,650 Member
    I
    You indicate you only started two weeks ago. That’s not enough time at all to analyze if what you are doing is effective. You need at least 4-6 weeks to get past “beginner” water and weight fluctuations, learning how to log, etc. These forums will be your best friend to further your “self” education. And I do mean SELF education.

    I wish you both success, but you also need to discuss ahead of time what happens if one gives up, and r one is super successful. Are you going to continue to support one another? Or will you give up as a couple! Hopefully, you’ll be successful together and we will get one hell of a “Success Story” over on the other board in a few months.

    Many thanks for your response☺️. Me and my wife have started to lose weight steadily💪.
    I am losing weight a bit faster than her though😏 (don't know why as she is working harder and eating lesser than me 🤔).
    I am encouraging her not to lose focus. I know, if we give up as a couple, there will be no "success story"👫. How can I alone be successful without her?👩‍❤️‍👨

    When my husband discovered he was diabetic twenty years ago, he changed his way of eating and lost a lot of weight. With, I’m ashamed to say now, very little support from me, other than I did go to the diabetic “training” class, and try to learn. But I ate candy, cookies, everything he wanted in front of him. I realize now how selfish it was.

    But now it’s the exact opposite. He’s put on weight, on several prescriptions, etc. although he does have the grace to hide his treats and snacks.

    So we’ve both been able to do it individually.

    I wish we’d coordinated at some time, However, he does exercise regularly, and puts up with the minutiae of my weighing and logging. I don’t stay on him about losing weight because frankly, I don’t feel like I have the right to, and he’s several years older than me and it doesn’t seem fair to try to change him at this stage.

    I guess it comes down to how bad you want to do it. And your level of comfort with your spouse, too I suppose. I don’t think either of us ever thought the other was “shoppin’ round”.

    Maybe explain to her how much you love her, and want to share those golden years healthier and for a longer time with her.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,155 Member
    I
    You indicate you only started two weeks ago. That’s not enough time at all to analyze if what you are doing is effective. You need at least 4-6 weeks to get past “beginner” water and weight fluctuations, learning how to log, etc. These forums will be your best friend to further your “self” education. And I do mean SELF education.

    I wish you both success, but you also need to discuss ahead of time what happens if one gives up, and r one is super successful. Are you going to continue to support one another? Or will you give up as a couple! Hopefully, you’ll be successful together and we will get one hell of a “Success Story” over on the other board in a few months.

    Many thanks for your response☺️. Me and my wife have started to lose weight steadily💪.
    I am losing weight a bit faster than her though😏 (don't know why as she is working harder and eating lesser than me 🤔).
    I am encouraging her not to lose focus. I know, if we give up as a couple, there will be no "success story"👫. How can I alone be successful without her?👩‍❤️‍👨

    The basic equation of calories in < calories out for weight loss applies to women as well as men, but the calories out portion can be a little trickier for women especially at childbearing age (30s being a prime time for that.) For my weight loss, I have had to contend with: postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, and return of cycles, all within the past year. I am adamant about not hating the body I've been given, but the reality is that while our bodies, both male and female, are always cycling in some fashion (cells growing and dying, digestive system functioning, and so on and so forth), female bodies are less static on the calories out portion and it can require some extra tinkering to figure out a good formula. We also (generally speaking) have lower calorie needs than men of a similar size, have more body fat than men of a similar size, and don't build muscle as rapidly.

    It's not better or worse, but it is different.
  • DrSelfish1131
    DrSelfish1131 Posts: 35 Member
    I
    You indicate you only started two weeks ago. That’s not enough time at all to analyze if what you are doing is effective. You need at least 4-6 weeks to get past “beginner” water and weight fluctuations, learning how to log, etc. These forums will be your best friend to further your “self” education. And I do mean SELF education.

    I wish you both success, but you also need to discuss ahead of time what happens if one gives up, and r one is super successful. Are you going to continue to support one another? Or will you give up as a couple! Hopefully, you’ll be successful together and we will get one hell of a “Success Story” over on the other board in a few months.

    Many thanks for your response☺️. Me and my wife have started to lose weight steadily💪.
    I am losing weight a bit faster than her though😏 (don't know why as she is working harder and eating lesser than me 🤔).
    I am encouraging her not to lose focus. I know, if we give up as a couple, there will be no "success story"👫. How can I alone be successful without her?👩‍❤️‍👨

    When my husband discovered he was diabetic twenty years ago, he changed his way of eating and lost a lot of weight. With, I’m ashamed to say now, very little support from me, other than I did go to the diabetic “training” class, and try to learn. But I ate candy, cookies, everything he wanted in front of him. I realize now how selfish it was.

    But now it’s the exact opposite. He’s put on weight, on several prescriptions, etc. although he does have the grace to hide his treats and snacks.

    So we’ve both been able to do it individually.

    I wish we’d coordinated at some time, However, he does exercise regularly, and puts up with the minutiae of my weighing and logging. I don’t stay on him about losing weight because frankly, I don’t feel like I have the right to, and he’s several years older than me and it doesn’t seem fair to try to change him at this stage.

    I guess it comes down to how bad you want to do it. And your level of comfort with your spouse, too I suppose. I don’t think either of us ever thought the other was “shoppin’ round”.

    Maybe explain to her how much you love her, and want to share those golden years healthier and for a longer time with her.

    It's very nice of you to be self-critical as it's a rare trait at present.

    To be honest, sometime if either of us does some extra cardio exercise, the other becomes upset unintentionally. 😅maybe it is in our genes to be competitive🏆 (in a healthy way😌 I guess in this case)
  • DrSelfish1131
    DrSelfish1131 Posts: 35 Member
    edited July 2021
    I
    You indicate you only started two weeks ago. That’s not enough time at all to analyze if what you are doing is effective. You need at least 4-6 weeks to get past “beginner” water and weight fluctuations, learning how to log, etc. These forums will be your best friend to further your “self” education. And I do mean SELF education.

    I wish you both success, but you also need to discuss ahead of time what happens if one gives up, and r one is super successful. Are you going to continue to support one another? Or will you give up as a couple! Hopefully, you’ll be successful together and we will get one hell of a “Success Story” over on the other board in a few months.

    Many thanks for your response☺️. Me and my wife have started to lose weight steadily💪.
    I am losing weight a bit faster than her though😏 (don't know why as she is working harder and eating lesser than me 🤔).
    I am encouraging her not to lose focus. I know, if we give up as a couple, there will be no "success story"👫. How can I alone be successful without her?👩‍❤️‍👨

    The basic equation of calories in < calories out for weight loss applies to women as well as men, but the calories out portion can be a little trickier for women especially at childbearing age (30s being a prime time for that.) For my weight loss, I have had to contend with: postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, and return of cycles, all within the past year. I am adamant about not hating the body I've been given, but the reality is that while our bodies, both male and female, are always cycling in some fashion (cells growing and dying, digestive system functioning, and so on and so forth), female bodies are less static on the calories out portion and it can require some extra tinkering to figure out a good formula. We also (generally speaking) have lower calorie needs than men of a similar size, have more body fat than men of a similar size, and don't build muscle as rapidly.

    It's not better or worse, but it is different.

    I do agree.
    Women burn less calories and also require less calories than men.

    But some studies show -
    "women burn fat more preferentially during exercise compared with men".
    (Wu, Betty N, and Anthony J O'Sullivan. “Sex differences in energy metabolism need to be considered with lifestyle modifications in humans.” Journal of nutrition and metabolism vol. 2011 (2011): 391809. doi:10.1155/2011/391809)

    So should they get in shape quicker than men?
  • wooshthereitis
    wooshthereitis Posts: 2 Member
    40s here (and closer to 50 than 40 :D). I've dropped over 10 BMI points (and counting). Down to 164 lbs and still losing a lb or more a week while averaging 2,300 calories a day. Age is not a hindrance. I also keep reading that height is supposedly a hindrance too, but I'm 5'2" and being a shortie hasn't hurt my progress or forced me to do a low calorie diet. Best advice I have is to lift weights and build up that muscle mass. It's been a total game changer for me.
  • Dvdgzz
    Dvdgzz Posts: 437 Member
    Does it make sense that as we age, our bodies become more efficient at moving the same mass around causing us to need less fuel for the same activities? I don't think so. If anything we would need more energy to do the same activities since they are harder over time. Is it the muscle loss(sarcopenia) and moving less because we have more aches/pains, and less energy? That seems much more likely to me. I think age is an excuse. I'll be 40 soon and my avatar is a recent pic. Seems to be just as easy to be in shape as ever and I've been bodybuilding for 20 years.