How to feed veggies to a picky man?!

My husband is really picky, and it's a non-negotiable thing. If he doesn't like it, he wont eat it. It's not like a child where you can force it upon him, haha. I'd love to get him to eat more vegetables, but that is a huge challenge. It also sucks because who wants to cook two meals for one time of the day, like two different lunches?! I make accommodations where I can and he will eat cucumber lol, but I don't know how to SNEAK more vegetables in.

TEXTURE. Is a big thing for him. If it's soft/mushy = he wont eat it. He'd prefer vegetables raw, he says (but doesn't eat them much unless I put them on his plate)
THE NAME of things is also something, for example he doesn't like the word "Casserole" and will turn his nose up at it, but if you told him it was meat, noodles and cheese -- he would eat it. If it sounds ridiculous, it's because it is lol.

What kind of things BLEND well? How can I blend up vegetable and add them to something??
He will eat salad, spinach, celery, green beans and snap peas, cucumbers and baby carrot ... but not enough of them that's for sure he probably has only 1 serving of vegetables a day and that's because I put it on his plate and he leaves some behind. I can't force him to do anything so there isn't much to be done about that...

I bought him different salad dressings for dips like he requested but he hasn't touched any and turned his nose up at almost all of them before trying them lol.

I've half given up, but I'd like him to be healthy. I prepare most of the meals, but because my hands are disabled I can only do so much so I tend to go with low prep easy meals.

Any ideas?

Also, back on MFP after a while away and pretty friend-less. If you're looking for more supportive friends feel free to friend request me.
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Replies

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    ...THE NAME of things is also something, for example he doesn't like the word "Casserole" and will turn his nose up at it, but if you told him it was meat, noodles and cheese -- he would eat it. If it sounds ridiculous, it's because it is lol.

    Reminds me of my ex, who lived in Thailand for 3-4 years. If I made him what I was told was Thai food but didn't taste familiar to him, he'd complain. So I started calling it Malaysian or Burmese :lol:
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    We NEVER have identical meals. Tonight the main course was my bastardized version of Bucatini all'Amatriciana. I added white beans and cottage cheese to mine. (Don't judge me.) I made him a salad and me green beans. (There weren't enough green beans for two and he's not a big fan anyway, which is going to suck for him when my pole beans start popping in the garden, so I'm giving him a break now.)

    When we both have salads we'll both have lettuce and cucumbers, but the rest of the ingredients and the dressings are different.

    We like different cuts of steak cooked differently. I like marinades; he does not. He grills.

    Oh, until I became Covid-unemployed, he did the vast majority of the post-meal cleanup. I don't mind the extra prep time, but if I did, him doing the cleanup would even things out in my mind.

    This has been fine for 8 years but in the fall we are moving in with my mother and brother. He's easy; she's tough. I'm curious to see how it will go.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    My husband used to believe he hated asparagus until he tried it blanched with a little lemon juice, still crisp. His mother used to cook it into mush. Start with the mushy vegetables and just don’t overcook them. If he still hates whatever it is lightly steamed, stir-fried, or roasted, I would move on.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    How about broiling
    I have started to broil peppers or zucchini
    Sauteed carrots and add shredded cabbage, kale, spring onions and peppers - really nice
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited July 2021
    My partner said he didn't like cauliflower and I never cooked it because there are plenty of other cruciferous vegetables that we both like. And then we had Buffalo cauliflower at a restaurant and developed a new appreciation for it.

    https://www.franksredhot.com/en-us/recipes/buffalo-cauliflower-bites

    Oh, here's another good way to get it in. Chop it small and it is barely noticeable:

    https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/cauliflower-mac-and-cheese-recipe/

    He's fine with Brussels sprouts if I cook them with bacon or kielbasa.
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    IIWM, I'd let him make his own meals, you do your own, then it wouldn't be a problem. :) He sounds just like my husband as far as veggies are concerned. I won't cook for him unless he asks for something specific, such as scalloped potatoes and ham or homemade mac and cheese. Notice.....only potatoes and are those even considered a vegetable? He avoids most veggies like the plague although he will, on very seldom occasions eat a nice big green salad, with the old classic tomato and cucumber, grated parmesan cheese, croutons and about 1/2 c. of ranch dressing. Even then, he says he doesn't like lettuce that much. He loves that I have a garden and we get veggies to eat out of it but guess who eats 99.999% of it? :)

    While my advice would be very different if you were trying to feed veggies to a child, this is a grown adult and he can make that decision himself without you having to feel the need to sneak them in. :)

    Ok, rereading your post, I see your dh eats some veggies so that's good! Serve fruits as a replacement. :) Will he eat those?
    BTW your dh eats a LOT of veggies compared to mine. :/


    Hehehe aww!! Definitely sounds like your hubs struggling more on the veggie train than mine is! At least he gets 1 serving of something a day whether it be cucumber (mostly that) or green bean.

    I would let him make his own meals if he desired, he is more than welcome to. However the quality of his meals would decrease considerably (and I don't make the highest quality stuff either) lol!! Plus with our dynamic, he works a lot of the day and I am a housewife so I make the meals. He makes his own breakfast! And I wish he would EAT MORE. 3 sausage links isn't a breakfast and then 2hours later he's feeling sad/down/emotional because he needs to eat. Lol Just add an orange!! But he wont. Not unless I do it for him. He just doesn't bother? Lol!!!

    I could definitely add in fruit, he would eat apples/orange slices if I put them there! Thanks for your input!
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    acpgee wrote: »
    Most vegetable haters will eat roast veg
    https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-roast-any-vegetable-101221

    Also Chinese stir fry for leafy greens such as spinach or cabbages. Here are sample recipes
    https://www.chinasichuanfood.com/chinese-water-spinach-stir-fry/
    https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-stir-fry-spinach-and-other-greens-226712
    but toss in a quarter cup of water if the garlic is in danger of over browning and becoming bitter before the veg is done to your liking.

    Some good salad ideas here.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/22/dining/22mlist.html

    Is he willing to eat fruit? Maybe adding fruit to cereal, oatmeal or yoghurt at breakfast is a way to help him get some vitamins plus a piece of fruit in the lunchbox would help.

    Thanks for the recipes, I will check them out!!
    I tried roasting vegetables once and he did not like them, they were too soft? Maybe I did it wrong. I am not a great cook, or at least not a skilled one.

    As for fruit! Yes he has no issues with fruit really. He wont grab it himself but if I put it on the plate he will eat it.
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    Seconding roasting as a method that broadly appeals.

    I do most of the cooking in my household because I'm a stay at home mom. My husband does not always like what I make, though he's far from a picky eater. Now, in our case it's part of setting a good example for the kids...but nobody is allowed to complain about the food, period. Sometimes I make a big dish of something and beyond the 1-2 required "I'll try it" bites by everyone else I end up eating the rest of it as leftovers. That's fine by me, if nobody is making faces or comments, and I do take that into account for future meal planning or improvements (because there are occasional flops, I'll admit it). But there's no way I would be making multiple meals. So I really hope he's not actually being straight up rude to you, when you're doing him the kindness of preparing food (for some of us this is a love language!)

    Now, that aside, some methods I have employed with my children - making my own pasta sauce and using my blender to add in pureed vegetables, especially greens. We do "salad bars" often where I just put out a lot of different things and can assemble what we like. When my kids have this option, they will try way more things than if I just make a salad for them. I also usually have more than one vegetable per meal. Refrigerator salads are also a nice option that I can make once and there's enough to last several days. Basically, I would suggest just having a large variety and keep having it available - he might not take you up on it right away or even ever, but he'll get a chance to see some possibilities and you'll be eating very well in the meantime.

    Thanks for your feedback lovely!! Not to worry my man is nowhere near rude to me when it comes to these things. If anything I'M the one that gets quite upset when he doesn't tend to eat much of it or a meal turns out well. ( I try not to be upset with him directly just upset in general, wishing it was better / different ) he doesn't request of me to make multiple meals and I've expressed how that idea sucks!!

    I'm glad no one at the table complains about your food because you're right!! It is a language of love for some of us :) and it is for me, to him. I go out of my way to make more accomodations for him and do things a particular way the way I think he would enjoy it versus if it were just me I could just toss anything together and be fine with it.

    Puree vegetables adding to pasta sauce eh... that sounds like a great idea! Cauliflower, Broccoli, perhaps? Those are the two things he just wont eat. But if he can't see it he probably wont even know (hes like a kid that way lol)

    Thanks for the suggestions!! I love the idea of having him choose out of a big variety but I feel like he wont choose much of anything. Unless I put it on the plate, he wont be eating it. I try to serve 1 vegetable per meal because we don't have very many options and I'm afraid he is going to get tired of cucumber every day lol!! Cucumber, Green Beans, Snap Peas, Salads are in the rotation, Baby Carrots too. Other than that, I don't know what he will eat! And he doesn't know either >.< so unhelpful lol!!
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    You can hide a lot of veggies if you blend them into spaghetti sauce. That being said, why are you taking an ostensibly grown man on to raise? I'd give him a V8 and walk away, but I'm tough that way.

    Hehehehe. Tough love for sure ;) Great suggestion with blending veggies into sauce! I'll have to give that a try.
    And if you gave my man a V8 it'd go straight into the trash, so I'd like to try to find ways to help him be healthier. He is open to being healthier, and he does try. He is just very particular and picky in ridiculous ways, but he is a good man. This would be his worst trait, his food pickiness, lol and that is really great in the grand scheme of things!
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    ...THE NAME of things is also something, for example he doesn't like the word "Casserole" and will turn his nose up at it, but if you told him it was meat, noodles and cheese -- he would eat it. If it sounds ridiculous, it's because it is lol.

    Reminds me of my ex, who lived in Thailand for 3-4 years. If I made him what I was told was Thai food but didn't taste familiar to him, he'd complain. So I started calling it Malaysian or Burmese :lol:

    Hah!! That's funny. You know the struggle. So silly.
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    What about creamed or pureed vegetable soup?

    You can use fresh or frozen vegetables (add more carrots to camouflage the other veggies). Cook them in bone broth for added protein, and when the vegetables are done use the blender, or the hand held blender, to puree everything. You can replace half the broth with cream or coconut milk.

    But I also agree with other posters you are not a maid, and if he doesn't like what you cook, send him back to his mother, or to McD.

    Note to self: go a kiss your husband because he loves and eats everything the you prepare... <3

    Great suggestion! I'll have to give it a go.
    And not to worry, he is not rude, he is not mean about it. He just simply wont eat what he doesn't like and I don't fault him for that. I feel that some of the responders have been a little rough on him hehe, maybe I did not word everything in a great light, but I also don't know their experiences and some people can be pretty awful! While he is a picky eater, that is his worst trait which is great in the grand scheme of things. And while I am not his maid, I am the one who cooks the meals in the household and that dynamic works for us! So he wants to try to eat healthier, he desires to, it's just hard for him and his picky brain. So I want to try to discover ways to help him out with that :) there are some great ideas here in the thread.

    I've got to learn how to make bone broth, I cook a lot of whole chickens but throw out the bones despite knowing there is stuff I can do with it, I am just not very skilled in the kitchen.
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    My husband used to believe he hated asparagus until he tried it blanched with a little lemon juice, still crisp. His mother used to cook it into mush. Start with the mushy vegetables and just don’t overcook them. If he still hates whatever it is lightly steamed, stir-fried, or roasted, I would move on.

    Hmmm blanched? I'm not familiar with that! I am not super skilled in the kitchen and tend to steam and cook my veggies til they are quite soft. If I take his out ahead of time that might be better. Like I mentioned above, he does he some things raw: carrots, cucumber, green beans and salad -- you can even add snap peas to that. I just feel the variety is lacking, and there are some good nutrients in other veggies that if there is some way to sneak it in there or prepare in a way he enjoyed it would be way better! Thanks for the suggestions

  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    socajam wrote: »
    How about broiling
    I have started to broil peppers or zucchini
    Sauteed carrots and add shredded cabbage, kale, spring onions and peppers - really nice

    Interesting!! I've not tried broiling, I'm not very skilled in the kitchen. How does broiling differ from roasting?
    As long as it's still firm he might like it. He will eat things raw, but not much variety there when its only 5 choices lol (cucumber, baby carrot, green bean, salad, snap peas)

    Yummm it sounds delicious, aside from the spring onions, I'd eat it!
  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    My partner said he didn't like cauliflower and I never cooked it because there are plenty of other cruciferous vegetables that we both like. And then we had Buffalo cauliflower at a restaurant and developed a new appreciation for it.

    https://www.franksredhot.com/en-us/recipes/buffalo-cauliflower-bites

    Oh, here's another good way to get it in. Chop it small and it is barely noticeable:

    https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/cauliflower-mac-and-cheese-recipe/

    He's fine with Brussels sprouts if I cook them with bacon or kielbasa.

    Ooo thanks for the recipes!! I'll definitely have to try the cauliflower one, if its too small and he doesn't notice/can't taste it much then that's definitely a win!

    I don't think he likes brussel sprouts.... or to be honest I don't think he likes the idea of brussell sprouts lmao! Maybe if I tried to convince him they were little...lettuce balls he might be tricked for a second LOL but cooking them with bacon sounds like a great idea, he sure loves bacon haha!
  • futuresylph
    futuresylph Posts: 2,178 Member

    He is just very particular and picky in ridiculous ways, but he is a good man. This would be his worst trait, his food pickiness, lol and that is really great in the grand scheme of things!

    Yep, if that's the worst thing you can find to say about him, sounds like you're richly blessed. Okay, no more tough love for now; pampering mode on. How about blending fruits and vegetables together into juices? There are tons of combinations. Here are a few to get started, if you think he might like any of these: https://www.epicurious.com/recipes-menus/fruit-and-vegetable-juice-recipes-for-breakfast-gallery
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    My husband used to believe he hated asparagus until he tried it blanched with a little lemon juice, still crisp. His mother used to cook it into mush. Start with the mushy vegetables and just don’t overcook them. If he still hates whatever it is lightly steamed, stir-fried, or roasted, I would move on.

    Hmmm blanched? I'm not familiar with that! I am not super skilled in the kitchen and tend to steam and cook my veggies til they are quite soft. If I take his out ahead of time that might be better. Like I mentioned above, he does he some things raw: carrots, cucumber, green beans and salad -- you can even add snap peas to that. I just feel the variety is lacking, and there are some good nutrients in other veggies that if there is some way to sneak it in there or prepare in a way he enjoyed it would be way better! Thanks for the suggestions

    When blanching you just boil them long enough to scare them a little bit, then plunge into ice water to stop the cooking. The vegetables end up bright colored and crisp, but without that raw flavor.

    https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-blanch-vegetables-home-108570
  • Speakeasy76
    Speakeasy76 Posts: 961 Member
    edited July 2021
    Does he actually want to eat more vegetables? If so, have him choose one veggie similar to those he already eats and have him research different ways to prepare it or included in different recipes.

    In my line of work I sometimes work with extremely picky kids ( to the point of it being a disorder). He's an adult so the techniques I'd use for a kid will mostly not work. However, one technique that works for all ages is to involve the person in choosing and preparing the meal himself. He may not love it the first, second or even third time, but after several expires he may actually start to like it

    A couple of personal anecdotes to share:. My dad always thought he hated tomatoes, although he always ate things with tomato' sauce. Then one day he decided to eat some again and decided he actually liked them. For me personally, I HATED fish as a kid...if my mom made it (which usually was just the Gorton's frozen breaded stuff until I was much older), I never ate it. I avoided it for years. I'm not generally a picky eater besides that, though. A few years ago I decided to try and make some here and there because I knew it was good for me and wanted to expose my kids to it. Over time I learned to.....well, I wouldn't say love it, but it's ok if it's not too fishy and prepared with good flavor and/or technique.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,093 Member
    socajam wrote: »
    How about broiling
    I have started to broil peppers or zucchini
    Sauteed carrots and add shredded cabbage, kale, spring onions and peppers - really nice

    Interesting!! I've not tried broiling, I'm not very skilled in the kitchen. How does broiling differ from roasting?
    As long as it's still firm he might like it. He will eat things raw, but not much variety there when its only 5 choices lol (cucumber, baby carrot, green bean, salad, snap peas)

    Yummm it sounds delicious, aside from the spring onions, I'd eat it!

    Broiling is higher heat and a shorter time than roasting, with the food generally a lot closer to the heat source. If you're using an electric oven, this may mean moving the shelf to it's highest position, if you don't have a separate broiler in the oven. In a gas stove, I believe there's usually a drawer at the bottom under the burner that you use to broil. If you've got one of those modern ovens, I can't help you. :smile:

    I think the best/easiest ways to keep cooked veggies crisp is either steaming for a short time or sauteeing for a short time. If the way you're cooking them now is too soft for him, trying cutting the time in half and see what he thinks. Also, you want to choose vegetables that can be eaten raw -- i.e., I wouldn't try this with potatoes.

    I've recently taken to sauteeing my asparagus in a small amount of oil in a heavy saucepan with the lid on, for just a few minutes, so they're still fairly crisp (chop each stalk in two or three pieces if your pan isn't big enough for a whole spear to lay flat). Bell peppers work nicely with the same treatment, as does chopped cabbage. Best of luck.
  • littlegreenparrot1
    littlegreenparrot1 Posts: 702 Member
    You can hide quite a lot in certain dishes if you grate it.

    For example grated carrots in Chilli or bolognese, mushrooms chopped up small. Shepherds pie is quite a good one for that. Will he eat mash potato? if so you could experiment with different ones, mashed carrot/swede. I find if you chuck enough pepper and cheese in it doesn't really get noticed. Soup?

    I love the River cottage veg everyday cook book by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Lots of vegetable based dishes that are delicious and quite straightforward. Even if he doesn't like them it might help you learn different ways to cook and think about it.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    What about creamed or pureed vegetable soup?

    You can use fresh or frozen vegetables (add more carrots to camouflage the other veggies). Cook them in bone broth for added protein, and when the vegetables are done use the blender, or the hand held blender, to puree everything. You can replace half the broth with cream or coconut milk.

    But I also agree with other posters you are not a maid, and if he doesn't like what you cook, send him back to his mother, or to McD.

    Note to self: go a kiss your husband because he loves and eats everything the you prepare... <3

    Great suggestion! I'll have to give it a go.
    And not to worry, he is not rude, he is not mean about it. He just simply wont eat what he doesn't like and I don't fault him for that. I feel that some of the responders have been a little rough on him hehe, maybe I did not word everything in a great light, but I also don't know their experiences and some people can be pretty awful! While he is a picky eater, that is his worst trait which is great in the grand scheme of things. And while I am not his maid, I am the one who cooks the meals in the household and that dynamic works for us! So he wants to try to eat healthier, he desires to, it's just hard for him and his picky brain. So I want to try to discover ways to help him out with that :) there are some great ideas here in the thread.

    I've got to learn how to make bone broth, I cook a lot of whole chickens but throw out the bones despite knowing there is stuff I can do with it, I am just not very skilled in the kitchen.

    Maybe I was rough on him. Sorry. :( Our circumstances are definitely different and that can give us different perspective, for sure. My dh and I separated for 12 years and he was doing fine cooking for himself. So when we got back together, one of the criteria was I wasn't going to cook for him because he was capable and he would criticize what I made. :/ And some days I absolutely do feel guilty about not cooking because I'm retired and he is not(he's chosen to keep working which is probably healthier for our relationship but that's a whole other topic :)). And I do keep asking him if there's anything special he'd like me to make(as most of us, I have a few signature dishes to my name) so the offer is there for him. He chooses to not eat so many healthier foods and that's on him. :( He also smokes which is on him. :( So I don't have much of a say for him to choose healthier. Trust me, I've tried.

    When my firstborn refused veggies, I used spinach to make him smoothie type drinks; would your dh drink those? There'd be so many ways to disguise veggies and fruits there. Meat loaf is another food that could get some blended veggies in. Search for recipes using pumpkin/sweet potato/zucchini; those types of foods can be used in pies, cookies, cakes, brownies, etc., if he has a sweet tooth.

    Wishing you much luck in reaching your goals for him. :) AND thank you for being understanding of some of your replies and you're sweet to want to do this for him.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    My partner said he didn't like cauliflower and I never cooked it because there are plenty of other cruciferous vegetables that we both like. And then we had Buffalo cauliflower at a restaurant and developed a new appreciation for it.

    https://www.franksredhot.com/en-us/recipes/buffalo-cauliflower-bites

    Oh, here's another good way to get it in. Chop it small and it is barely noticeable:

    https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/cauliflower-mac-and-cheese-recipe/

    He's fine with Brussels sprouts if I cook them with bacon or kielbasa.

    Ooo thanks for the recipes!! I'll definitely have to try the cauliflower one, if its too small and he doesn't notice/can't taste it much then that's definitely a win!

    I don't think he likes brussel sprouts.... or to be honest I don't think he likes the idea of brussell sprouts lmao! Maybe if I tried to convince him they were little...lettuce balls he might be tricked for a second LOL but cooking them with bacon sounds like a great idea, he sure loves bacon haha!

    I just wanted to make a comment to what people don't like as opposed to what they've convinced themselves they won't like....one of our dds is vegan, when she was here last time she made vegan mac and cheese. He ate a little, then asked for more, saying it was THE best mac and cheese he'd ever had. This, after complaining about the thought of eating it beforehand. :) Also, for years(like forever!) he'd tell me he didn't like yogurt. Don't ask me what made him change his mind because it happened in those 12 years we were apart, but he now eats Activia every single day. :/ So it's kind of weird how we *know* we're not going to like something before we even give it a try. That's me with sushi. :(
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    edited July 2021
    You consider this as part of an act of service to your hubby then? Ok; there seems to be a stable of veggies he already likes so no need to stress about range. It's more getting the number of servings up while keeping your current limitations in mind.

    * Smoothies
    * Stews
    * Sauces (non-dairy with which to smother raw or cooked veggies)
    * Using homemade, low-sodium veggie broth in recipes instead of water

    I'd also just pre-chop what he likes and keep it in an accessible place. At the same time, gradually reduce the other non-veg/non-fruit snack options in the home.

    ETA: I wouldn't condone the sneak approach with kids, let alone adults. I think folks should know what they're eating and learn to expand their palette. This takes patience from everyone involved and sometimes multiple approaches. But that's me.