Worst first date ever?

Options
13567

Replies

  • willdbill0712
    willdbill0712 Posts: 83 Member
    Options
    Omg... I went on a blind date with this guy... Really boring and just didn't get my sense of humour even though I was on top form that night and thought I was hilarious, so in order to get rid of him I walked up to this stranger standing at the bar and asked (well more like begged) him to help me get rid of him, so the guy walked up to him and told him I was his wife, which I might add done the job well, NOW that stranger 13 years later is my hubby and still going strong :o)

    Funny how things work out.
    Great story!
  • Typhanee83
    Typhanee83 Posts: 313 Member
    Options
    He picked me up in an old beat up Ford Festiva. He tried to make me hold his hand on the stick shift…awkward. We went bowling with a bunch of his friends, and every single last one of his buddies pulled me aside and told me that I was too good for him, and I should consider going home with them. Nice friends. Anyway, after the whole bowling fiasco, he drove me home and asked to come in to use the restroom. I was hesitant, but being a nice girl, I couldn’t tell him no, right? So he comes in, obviously NOT to use the bathroom. He started kissing me, and the WHOLE time I was thinking : “I'm-Kissing-You-Back-Sort-Of-Only-Because-Your-Damned-Lips-are-Touching-Mine-and-It's-Easier-to-Just-Let-You-Kiss-Me-and-Get-it-Over-With.” Yeah, so totally not into it. When he started the “Hands-Too-Aggressively-Fondling-Groping-Like-a-Clammy-Octopus-in-Heat” act, and tried copping a feel… or 10, I asked him to leave. A couple days later he calls me to ask me out on a second date. When I politely decline, he tells me I’m not his type anyway, and hangs up on me. I attract the awesome ones. Lol.
  • Munchie06
    Munchie06 Posts: 8
    Options
    My my girlfriend at work tells me she has a friend whom I'd love. He's a few years older, coach of the girls basketball team at his church and all. So I'm thinking, okay he sounds like a nice guy. We talked over IM and he found out about my hello kitty obsession, so when he picks me up for lunch he gives me a stuffed HK doll work well over $50.
    So we get to Chili's for lunch, order our food. As we're waiting for our food we start talking about ourselves, I say I've never been to Philly to see the hostoric sites and art center, he says "we'll go up for the weekend, I'll find us a nice hotel" (which seems really presumptuous for a 1st date), then proceed to tell me what he wants to name his kids (whoa there, buddy, back the bus up!).
    So when our food finally comes, he proceeds to pray, yelling TO THE WHOLE RESTURANT! Now I'm not against anyone who wants to pray in public, but we were asked to please respect the other patrons because he was yelling his prayer so loud. Needless to say we never went out on another date.
  • Munchie06
    Munchie06 Posts: 8
    Options
    Hey was his name Joel??? I had one do the SAME thing!!!
  • Munchie06
    Munchie06 Posts: 8
    Options
    He picked me up in an old beat up Ford Festiva. He tried to make me hold his hand on the stick shift…awkward. We went bowling with a bunch of his friends, and every single last one of his buddies pulled me aside and told me that I was too good for him, and I should consider going home with them. Nice friends. Anyway, after the whole bowling fiasco, he drove me home and asked to come in to use the restroom. I was hesitant, but being a nice girl, I couldn’t tell him no, right? So he comes in, obviously NOT to use the bathroom. He started kissing me, and the WHOLE time I was thinking : “I'm-Kissing-You-Back-Sort-Of-Only-Because-Your-Damned-Lips-are-Touching-Mine-and-It's-Easier-to-Just-Let-You-Kiss-Me-and-Get-it-Over-With.” Yeah, so totally not into it. When he started the “Hands-Too-Aggressively-Fondling-Groping-Like-a-Clammy-Octopus-in-Heat” act, and tried copping a feel… or 10, I asked him to leave. A couple days later he calls me to ask me out on a second date. When I politely decline, he tells me I’m not his type anyway, and hangs up on me. I attract the awesome ones. Lol.
    Hey was his name Joel??? I had one do the SAME thing!!!
  • quichebradford
    quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    I am so loving this thread. Some of these dates are a trip!

    Cocaine, meet my momma, bike riding cheapskate, fall asleep driving, make out with my sister....who does that?!?!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Options
    Omg... I went on a blind date with this guy... Really boring and just didn't get my sense of humour even though I was on top form that night and thought I was hilarious, so in order to get rid of him I walked up to this stranger standing at the bar and asked (well more like begged) him to help me get rid of him, so the guy walked up to him and told him I was his wife, which I might add done the job well, NOW that stranger 13 years later is my hubby and still going strong :o)

    This is awesome!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Options
    I am so loving this thread. Some of these dates are a trip!

    Cocaine, meet my momma, bike riding cheapskate, fall asleep driving, make out with my sister....who does that?!?!

    Seriously good stuff! I have nothing near as great as this. Makes me realize how boring my life has been. :happy:
  • ErrataCorrige
    ErrataCorrige Posts: 649 Member
    Options
    Not so much a date as a hookup...

    I met a girl that was a bartender at a bar that I used to frequent. We had chatted a few times when I got drinks, anyhow, I got kinda tipsy and when the bar was closing I asked her when she was gonna take me home. She laughed at me and said she got off work in 10 minutes, so I hung around.

    She grabbed a bottle of something (I think Tequila) on the way out, and we walked back to her place a few blocks away, sipping out of the bottle when no one was around.

    Anyhow, we get to her place, start getting busy, and then I realized something was feeling wrong.

    I looked down and said "Uh oh.... I lost it." She says, what do you mean, "LOST it?"

    "It came off, and I have no idea where it went"

    So I started looking, and she was reaching and we couldn't get it out. She ended up going to the emergency room.

    She never called me back.

    This is straight classic! I would have thought it was funny. And am truly wondering what kind of stuff she had going on down there that something could get so lost she would have to go to a hospital to help her out?!?
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    Options
    Thanks everyone - this has been some of the best reading ever!!!! I have some stories but they all seem dull now :(.........

    The cocaine/sex club was awesome! And the clean sheets comment. LOVE IT!!!!!
  • Typhanee83
    Typhanee83 Posts: 313 Member
    Options
    He picked me up in an old beat up Ford Festiva. He tried to make me hold his hand on the stick shift…awkward. We went bowling with a bunch of his friends, and every single last one of his buddies pulled me aside and told me that I was too good for him, and I should consider going home with them. Nice friends. Anyway, after the whole bowling fiasco, he drove me home and asked to come in to use the restroom. I was hesitant, but being a nice girl, I couldn’t tell him no, right? So he comes in, obviously NOT to use the bathroom. He started kissing me, and the WHOLE time I was thinking : “I'm-Kissing-You-Back-Sort-Of-Only-Because-Your-Damned-Lips-are-Touching-Mine-and-It's-Easier-to-Just-Let-You-Kiss-Me-and-Get-it-Over-With.” Yeah, so totally not into it. When he started the “Hands-Too-Aggressively-Fondling-Groping-Like-a-Clammy-Octopus-in-Heat” act, and tried copping a feel… or 10, I asked him to leave. A couple days later he calls me to ask me out on a second date. When I politely decline, he tells me I’m not his type anyway, and hangs up on me. I attract the awesome ones. Lol.
    Hey was his name Joel??? I had one do the SAME thing!!!



    Lol, unfortunately, no. His name was James. Must be the “J” names. I’ve had more than a few bad dates with guys that names start with a “J”. Lol.

    I named his kissing technique: Somewhere crossed between the “Mouth-Stretching-Competition-Get-Lost-in-the-Grand-Canyon-kiss” (aka the Open-the-Mouth-WAY-Too-Wide kiss). And “The Dentist's-Chair kiss” (aka Niagara-Falls kiss) - You know how when you're getting work done on your teeth and no matter how much you try to control yourself, it seems as though your natural drool tendencies kick in full swing. You turn into a drool machine requiring that suction device or else your face and neck would be taking a really gross drool shower. Most of the time, thankfully, you are in control of your drool responses. However, some people are not.
    FLOOD WATERS HAVE BREACHED THE DAM!
    Seriously. Gross.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Options
    This is straight classic! I would have thought it was funny. And am truly wondering what kind of stuff she had going on down there that something could get so lost she would have to go to a hospital to help her out?!?

    Actually... that might be my fault. The reason it got so lost is because it got pushed up literally to her uterus. What can I say.... I was blessed?

    ;)
  • Typhanee83
    Typhanee83 Posts: 313 Member
    Options
    This is straight classic! I would have thought it was funny. And am truly wondering what kind of stuff she had going on down there that something could get so lost she would have to go to a hospital to help her out?!?

    Actually... that might be my fault. The reason it got so lost is because it got pushed up literally to her uterus. What can I say.... I was blessed?

    ;)

    OH. MY. GOD. It shouldn’t be humorous, but I can’t stop laughing! Haha!
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    Options
    This is straight classic! I would have thought it was funny. And am truly wondering what kind of stuff she had going on down there that something could get so lost she would have to go to a hospital to help her out?!?

    Actually... that might be my fault. The reason it got so lost is because it got pushed up literally to her uterus. What can I say.... I was blessed?

    ;)

    ooooooooooooooh, now I get it! ROFL, for I moment I thought you lost a contact, duh! rofl
  • ErrataCorrige
    ErrataCorrige Posts: 649 Member
    Options
    This is straight classic! I would have thought it was funny. And am truly wondering what kind of stuff she had going on down there that something could get so lost she would have to go to a hospital to help her out?!?

    Actually... that might be my fault. The reason it got so lost is because it got pushed up literally to her uterus. What can I say.... I was blessed?

    ;)

    Well then I DEFINATELY would have called you back!
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
    Options
    I went out on a date with this guy who felt the need to go into a lengthy discussion on how he was infected with bed bugs and how sick he became. I started to feel myself getting itchy listening to him. Needless to say I said buh bye to bug boy!
  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
    Options
    WOW! Don't know if I can beat any of these stories, but when I was in college I went out with this guy and we went back to his place to "watch a movie" (yeah, yeah, I shoulda known better) :grumble: . Anyway, i told him we could make out a little bit, but nothing more. So we start making out on his couch and he turns on a freaking PORNO! Not your Skin-emax soft stuff, but some really intense *kitten*! I pulled away from him and he was like "why don't you want to watch this with me?" I immediately left. Ugh, what a creep!
  • mallorybriann
    mallorybriann Posts: 1,380 Member
    Options
    We had been talking online for at least 3 weeks and met once before. He also said he didnt know anyone by that name... which was a lie he did. He used to like her.
    D A M N!
    YOU WIN!
    My date called me the wrong name...

    Thats not THAT bad for a first date.

    Now, if you had been dating a few weeks... thats trouble.
  • quichebradford
    quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    I went out on a date with this guy who felt the need to go into a lengthy discussion on how he was infected with bed bugs and how sick he became. I started to feel myself getting itchy listening to him. Needless to say I said buh bye to bug boy!

    WHAT?! How could he have possibly thought this was something to share with someone on a date?! LOL!!!

Categories