how do you stay motivated with a large goal
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fatfish420
Posts: 11 Member
by large goal I don't necessarily mean difficult but one that is going to be a long journey. In my case my goal weight when I started was to lose 180lbs I have lost just over 30 so far but nothing feels like it has changed. I am still wearing the same clothes and I can still get out of breath doing simple tasks. So I want to know from those who are either on long journeys or have reached their goal how do you stay motivated when the results while numerically significant don't show anywhere else.
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Replies
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I've not reached my goal this time (but I have before). When you have a lot to lose, it's hard to SEE the results in the mirror/your clothes. It all comes off from different places and not where we want it to (my belly for me). I do a few things:
1. Look at pictures. I CAN see the difference if I put the pictures side by side
2. Take measurements. Seeing those numbers change gives you another perspective
3. Break your goal up into smaller goals. That big number to lose seems overwhelming. If I break it up into smaller goals, they seem attainable. There's a thread here about mini-goals. Mine right now are to not gain a lot over my upcoming vacation, and to get to overweight rather than obese.
30lbs lost is a great accomplishment. Keep doing what's working.9 -
Honestly, the best advice I was ever given and give others is to work on establishing patterns and habits in small ways that aren't things that feel like major work/sacrifice (logging is a habit, calorie 'ceiling' is a habit, some kind of movement') then live your life normally around those things, letting the 'weight loss' thing fade into the background most of the time.
I never focused on weight loss in life. I come here and I log (albeit now very loosely) so it's not completely out of my mind, reset my calorie goals as needed, but otherwise I kept doing all the things I loved, and my attention and focus MOSTLY on those things. Eventually my body (weight) reflected the life I lead.
Trying to make it the center of my life would not have worked. Too long a journey, as you said, and also implies some kind of 'end point'. And there isn't really one unless you want the weight to come back.11 -
As previously stated, make HABITUAL CHANGES and stick with them. How much motivation do you need to brush your teeth or drive to work? You just do it because it's routine.
Eating right and exercise are the same. It's when people get out of habit (regardless of what it is) is when this happens.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I probably have another year or two before I hit my ideal weight - but I don't focus on that. I focus on short term goals that I can accomplish in the next month. So for a weight goal, I use things like "lose 5 lbs in the next month" - and then I feel successful and happy if I make the goal even if it doesn't translate to my noticing the loss in other ways. I also focus more on things like eating healthy foods, logging what I eat, or getting exercise. Things that are more about the lifestyle changes that I want, and less about weighing a certain amount. I also found getting a Fitbit helped motivate me too just because I really like "closing my circles" to reach daily goals. It's ridiculous how satisfied I feel when Fitbit tells me I've met a daily goal or gives me a little badge.
I think looking at a big weight loss goal is tough because no matter what, it's just going to take time to get there. It often just takes time to notice the changes too. The other thing is that if you think of there being some sort of finish line when you reach a certain weight, it probably also contributes to people gaining the weight back because they're "done" when they reach it. For me, it's more sustainable long term to think about this just being about my lifetime journey with my relationship with food and my overall health.
Hope this helps!3 -
I am 70 and it has taken me a little over 2 years to lose 110 lbs….I still have 40 to go….whenever I start to lose motivation, I remember how unhealthy I was when I started MFP….I did no exercise the entire first year….I couldn’t tell any difference until I lost about 50 lbs…..being overweight is hard….dieting is hard….choose your hard!10
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conniewilkins56 wrote: »I am 70 and it has taken me a little over 2 years to lose 110 lbs….I still have 40 to go….whenever I start to lose motivation, I remember how unhealthy I was when I started MFP….I did no exercise the entire first year….I couldn’t tell any difference until I lost about 50 lbs…..being overweight is hard….dieting is hard….choose your hard!
I love the "choose your hard"! So true!
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wunderkindking wrote: »Too long a journey, as you said, and also implies some kind of 'end point'. And there isn't really one unless you want the weight to come back.
This!
Accepting that a life change is needed and that there is no 'end point' is key.
Small changes rather than unsustainable deprivation for fast weight loss make it easier to maintain.
It took me a long time to fully understand this.
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Break it up into small goals4
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Like others have said: “there is no end point”. I have reached my goal weight and below several times in my life, 80 lbs being my largest loss only to gain back. Maintaining is more difficult, IMO, and I’m determined not to regain weight this time! Think about a life change and good eating habits that are sustainable and forget about losing weight. JMHO…1
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Some small goals that are fitness oriented also help, walking an extra 100 metres or kilometre; climbing one more set of stairs than usual; getting an extra set of exercises in, or increasing weights slightly. Sometimes it helps to focus on something other than the scale.
Congratulations on the 30lbs lost!2 -
The key in losing weight, and take this from someone who has lost 230 pounds, is to make small, SUSTAINABLE changes. this is a long term effort. not a sprint. you will not lose weight fast. you will not lose weight every week. you will have weeks on end with NO weight loss. its normal. trust the process.
my main tips:
learn how to weigh (on a food scale) your food properly and find ACCURATE database entries now. I don't know what your starting weight is, but at first you may have a lot of room for error. but as you have less to lose, you don't. If you learn how to do things properly from the beginning, it means you don' have to RE-LEARN how to do it later.
Find an activity you ENJOY. You don't have to be a runner (ew- though I have begun. and i hate it. I much prefer other cardio). You don't have to work out at all to lose weight (weight loss happens in the kitchen). BUT... physical activity does have a LOT of benefits. Both mental and physical. It can be as simple as a leisurely stroll a few times a week. And as you lose weight, you may find (I did), that you WANT to do more. Simple, little things like parking a bit further out in parking lots. Taking stairs instead of elevators. walking to your mailbox instead of pulling up to it in your car as you are pulling in your driveway. Small things. Every bit counts.
Understand that you do not have to give up your favorite foods or any food groups to lose weight. You DO need to learn how MUCH you can eat. Portion control. This goes back to my first point. For the most part, I eat the same things I always have. Just less of them. I eat burgers and pizza and chips and cookies. Just ... not all in the same day
well, I might could get away with it if I planned it out REALLY well. And stuck to the plan with NO deviation. Maybe. LOL
You will have 'bad' days. Whether its a holiday or just a ... bad day. Life happens. you will go over. It is NOT the end of the world. You will not ruin your deficit with one bad day. The problems come in when that one bad day becomes two, becomes 3, becomes a week, and goes on....
You've got this. Take it one day at a time, and each day, try to do a little bit better. Don't try to do everything all at once. Don't try to make 1000 changes all at once. Most people who burn out, do so because they try to do too much, too soon. start small. build from there. You did not gain the weight quickly. You will not lose it quickly. Better to lose it slowly, and KEEP IT OFF, then lose it quick, and gain it all back and more!
I've been at this a long time. It becomes a part of your life, and like any other habit, you don't think about it much, really. Your eating habits slowly change. You weigh and log your food. Your activity levels (usually) change, at least to some degree. You become more mindful of what you are putting in your shopping cart and body. My one (or two) words of caution is to make these changes slowly. Most people who go 'All in' head first and full steam, burn out quick. Your first couple of weeks, maybe even first month, most people will lose a fair amount fairly quickly, but most of it is water weight (usually from a natural, not intentional, reduction in carbs). It does slow down, as your body adjusts. It's normal, and is SUPPOSED to happen, so don't get discouraged. Also, don't set your calories too low. The fastest rate of loss (1200 for women and 1500 for men) is not the best rate of loss. Although very tempting to set it to lose faster, it will make it harder for you to maintain and stick to your calorie goals because you will be ... well, hungry. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a few more calories, and you will still lose weight and be less likely to deviate from your plan and therefore more likely to succeed.
Useful Links
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p1
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1
and basically ... all of these
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-health-fitness-and-diet-must-reads#latest
when i first started working out, i didnt even consider it that. i just wanted to try and be a bit healthier. losing weight wasn't even my goal. I mean, i needed to, and knew i needed to, but i just wanted to try and be healthier. I started by just going on a walk 2-3 times a week. and.... it wasn't much of a walk. at almost 400 pounds i could not go very far at all. 10 minutes was about all i had in me. but i kept doing it. and it didnt take long, really, before i could go a little bit longer. and then, i started to go more often. always when it was dark, i didnt want people to SEE me - but id go after dark, or early in the morning. often, both. more days added. my neighbor was a member at planet fitness and asked me if i wanted to go with her (she only went occasionally). I said sure. So I'd go with her. i thought i was going to die on the elliptical. lasted about 7 minutes. But kept going. maybe once a week with her? not very often. kept walking. By that point had started watching what I was eating (i think). Then i wanted to go to the gym more than she did, so got my own membership. That was back in 2014. So... all of it was a process. a long one. But I didnt give up. You dont have to work out to lose weight. As I said, that happens in the kitchen. But it does have many other benefits that your body does need. Find something you enjoy. Most Y's are affordable and have a wide variety of classes for all fitness levels. Make small changes. dont try to change everything overnight. little changes can lead to giant ones, if you give it enough time.
As someone else said... there is no END point. I have about 30 more pounds to lose. So, that in a sense is an 'end point', but those goals are being replaced, even now, by OTHER goals. Because weight, is just a number, and only one metric of health and fitness. A number on a scale does not mean you will LOOK the way you want to LOOK. In April, for better or worse, I am participating in my first Spartan race. So... training for that has begun. Getting stronger is an ongoing goal. Assuming it doesn't kill me or my husband doesn't have to come collect me from a hospital in another state (and put a screeching halt to spartans LOL), I imagine there will be future spartans to continue to measure that more functional strength. And its a weekend with my MFP friends LOL.
So.... from someone who was where you are, and maybe worse... to someone who is now more active than I EVER would have thought POSSIBLE... it can be done. But it does take TIME and PATIENCE and a WHOLE LOT OF KINDNESS TO YOURSELF.12 -
fatfish420 wrote: »I have lost just over 30 so far but nothing feels like it has changed. I am still wearing the same clothes and I can still get out of breath doing simple tasks
clothing in larger sizes is DESIGNED to cover a broader weight range. this is on PURPOSE. continue to lose weight. as you lose, and drop sizes, you will notice that GRADUALLY, the weight difference goes down in between sizes.
I don't know how it is for men, but for women, at least for me, now... at my current weight of about 170, it is around 10 pounds for a jeans size.
Cardio and losing weight will help with endurance and getting out of breath. It takes time but endurance builds up relatively quickly, all things considered. I don't think you mentioned what kind of exercise you are doing, if any, and that is what will make the biggest difference in that, as it conditions your body. So even if you start small, you will notice a difference pretty quickly (within a few weeks, probably, IF you remain pretty consistent with it)
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I broke it into mini goals of 10% of my body weight at a time. When I reached a goal, I'd reset for 10% of my new weight until I got within 25 lbs of my "ultimate" goal.
I also went slow- goal of 1 lb per week and really focused on establishing sustainable practices and behaviors, and seriously reflect on my mental relationship with food so that when I reached my goal I would be on a mindset that I could continue2 -
Three things helped me (and I wanted to lose about 50 -60 lbs) was to set interim goals.
When I started I decided to stick with my new plan until after Christmas (started mid October). When I hit that goal and had lost about 10 lbs I kept going.
Second, was the acceptance finally that what I did to lose weight was what I'd be doing for life so there was no end point.
Third was choosing to eat healthy most of the time knowing that a restrictive way of eating wouldn't stick for long. Even now 8+ years after losing over 80 lbs I practice this way of eating.
Over time I learned to love exercise.
You can do this, one day at a time. You're doing great!4 -
Progress photos.
Having a reasonable goal and then subdividing that into mini goals. Lots of small wins worked well with my brain.
A tenth of the way there. Thirty pounds gone! Halfway there! Another ten gone. The end is in sight! Hey let’s move the goal out a bit! Let’s make an exercise goal! Couch to 5k! Close my rings! Close my rings multiple times! Join a challenge and try to finish top 25%. Easy! Top 15, then top 10%.
I started out a size 22w. TJ maxx had an adorable pencil dress in an M. Pipe dream but it was only $12.99. I bought the darn thing, hung it sideways in the closet so I had to go past it to get to my clothes. I made a point of talking to that dress, stroking it. I interacted with that goal every single day until one day I wore it. It’s too big now but has pride of place in my closet.
Reading the Success stories board here kept me going, especially the NSVs (non scale victories) thread. I’ve read every last one of thousands of them. Motivating- and learned a LOT from that particular thread.
Don’t mean to be presumptuous - assume from your photo your older. I took it slowly and methodically. As an older woman, time just flew by - and so did the weight. I didn’t “feel” the passage of time, wasn’t anxious to be somewhere. It passed quickly on it’s own and I was grateful.6 -
I disagree with a lot of the experience here. I think it is necessary to be very disciplined in order to succeed. I simply do not want to be fat. I have worked out home made meals, accurately calorie calculated, in sufficient variety to keep me interested, and I stick to those: no excuses. "Treats" are just lapses, and I simply stopped eating bread, cakes, added sugar, fruit juices, biscuits, sweets etc from day one. Zero alcohol from day one. Very limited potatoes and pasta within the meal plan, and no more than once a week. No manufactured food - I make everything and weigh everything. Moderate exercise 5 days out of 7. Daily weighing first thing. Weekly blood sugar and blood pressure checks and waist and neck and bicep measurement checks. I stay very hydrated, with cold water. There is no point just losing water in a diet. Body mass scales (very cheap now) help with a rough check on this.
In my case I wished to lose at least 88 pounds and my target date for this is 31 March 2022. I started 6 weeks ago and have lost 31 pounds so far. If I show any sign of not making progress over a period of a couple of days of weigh ins, I eat less until the scales drop again (usually just a day). For me this is a project and the only way to achieve the aim is to be focussed and work hard. My wife is encouraging, which helps. (She s naturally thin).
Every week I attend a free educational health care course run by the local authority where I live. Everyone on it is obese (mostly doctor referrals), and I am the only male. We have twelve attendees and I have lost more than the rest of the group put together in the past six weeks. Some have put weight on. I think mostly because they have failed many times in paid for weight loss courses where they pile the weight back on eventually, invariably because of alcohol and sugary treats and excessive portion sizes. They could all lose weight if they wanted it enough and stopped making excuses.
Some delude themselves that they can count calories by estimating their portions. If we want to have a healthy weight, or be thin, then people like me who have become obese simply have to accept that dead calories in alcohol and sugary foods are gone forever.
In my case I do not want a long term goal stretching into the distance. My aim is to get down to a sensible weight within six months from my start date. By new year I will definitely have lost more than half my target. There will be no backsliding over Christmas.1 -
I think it is necessary to be very disciplined in order to succeed.
Okay but I went from 190 pounds to 125. I have already reached my goal. I've been maintaining it - as have other people who posted here - some of them for many years.
So, you know.
You're wrong.
Sort of. Because no one said it didn't take 'discipline'. It does, in the sense that it takes consistency for a long time -- as in forever.
Given that you are not yet successful, you might do well to listen to people who have been there, done that, and actually succeeded.11 -
I disagree with a lot of the experience here. I think it is necessary to be very disciplined in order to succeed. I simply do not want to be fat. I have worked out home made meals, accurately calorie calculated, in sufficient variety to keep me interested, and I stick to those: no excuses. "Treats" are just lapses, and I simply stopped eating bread, cakes, added sugar, fruit juices, biscuits, sweets etc from day one. Zero alcohol from day one. Very limited potatoes and pasta within the meal plan, and no more than once a week. No manufactured food - I make everything and weigh everything. Moderate exercise 5 days out of 7. Daily weighing first thing. Weekly blood sugar and blood pressure checks and waist and neck and bicep measurement checks. I stay very hydrated, with cold water. There is no point just losing water in a diet. Body mass scales (very cheap now) help with a rough check on this.
In my case I wished to lose at least 88 pounds and my target date for this is 31 March 2022. I started 6 weeks ago and have lost 31 pounds so far. If I show any sign of not making progress over a period of a couple of days of weigh ins, I eat less until the scales drop again (usually just a day). For me this is a project and the only way to achieve the aim is to be focussed and work hard. My wife is encouraging, which helps. (She s naturally thin).
Every week I attend a free educational health care course run by the local authority where I live. Everyone on it is obese (mostly doctor referrals), and I am the only male. We have twelve attendees and I have lost more than the rest of the group put together in the past six weeks. Some have put weight on. I think mostly because they have failed many times in paid for weight loss courses where they pile the weight back on eventually, invariably because of alcohol and sugary treats and excessive portion sizes. They could all lose weight if they wanted it enough and stopped making excuses.
Some delude themselves that they can count calories by estimating their portions. If we want to have a healthy weight, or be thin, then people like me who have become obese simply have to accept that dead calories in alcohol and sugary foods are gone forever.
In my case I do not want a long term goal stretching into the distance. My aim is to get down to a sensible weight within six months from my start date. By new year I will definitely have lost more than half my target. There will be no backsliding over Christmas.
its also a very good way to burn out and binge and not succeed in the long term.
I AM a success story and I KNOW a lot of success stories and I SEE a lot of success stories and the one thing they ALL have in common is.... room for error, and being KIND to ourselves.
but.... you do you.
good luck.9 -
im having mexican for lunch today with my best friend.
a margarita will be included. JUST BECAUSE OF the everything must be perfect post above.
10 to 1 I still come in below my calories. I will even make my diary public for it.
LOL9 -
I tried to keep my mouth zipped, but I can’t.
Maybe a totally harsh militant attitude works for you. I was pretty inflexible when I started, too. I bet every one of us was pretty “gung ho, let’s do this”
at the start.
But I soon found that life pretty much sucked without good food and celebrations, and good food and celebrations generally come with calories.
So I let regulated and controlled amounts back in, and occasionally give myself the grace to just have at it for a day or two, too.
Welcome, Doughnut Sundays!!!11
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