how do you stay motivated with a large goal

by large goal I don't necessarily mean difficult but one that is going to be a long journey. In my case my goal weight when I started was to lose 180lbs I have lost just over 30 so far but nothing feels like it has changed. I am still wearing the same clothes and I can still get out of breath doing simple tasks. So I want to know from those who are either on long journeys or have reached their goal how do you stay motivated when the results while numerically significant don't show anywhere else.
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Replies

  • kchapmanma
    kchapmanma Posts: 174 Member
    I probably have another year or two before I hit my ideal weight - but I don't focus on that. I focus on short term goals that I can accomplish in the next month. So for a weight goal, I use things like "lose 5 lbs in the next month" - and then I feel successful and happy if I make the goal even if it doesn't translate to my noticing the loss in other ways. I also focus more on things like eating healthy foods, logging what I eat, or getting exercise. Things that are more about the lifestyle changes that I want, and less about weighing a certain amount. I also found getting a Fitbit helped motivate me too just because I really like "closing my circles" to reach daily goals. It's ridiculous how satisfied I feel when Fitbit tells me I've met a daily goal or gives me a little badge.

    I think looking at a big weight loss goal is tough because no matter what, it's just going to take time to get there. It often just takes time to notice the changes too. The other thing is that if you think of there being some sort of finish line when you reach a certain weight, it probably also contributes to people gaining the weight back because they're "done" when they reach it. For me, it's more sustainable long term to think about this just being about my lifetime journey with my relationship with food and my overall health.

    Hope this helps!
  • kchapmanma
    kchapmanma Posts: 174 Member
    I am 70 and it has taken me a little over 2 years to lose 110 lbs….I still have 40 to go….whenever I start to lose motivation, I remember how unhealthy I was when I started MFP….I did no exercise the entire first year….I couldn’t tell any difference until I lost about 50 lbs…..being overweight is hard….dieting is hard….choose your hard!

    I love the "choose your hard"! So true!
  • Walkywalkerson
    Walkywalkerson Posts: 456 Member
    Too long a journey, as you said, and also implies some kind of 'end point'. And there isn't really one unless you want the weight to come back.

    This!
    Accepting that a life change is needed and that there is no 'end point' is key.
    Small changes rather than unsustainable deprivation for fast weight loss make it easier to maintain.
    It took me a long time to fully understand this.



  • anna_nintey3
    anna_nintey3 Posts: 843 Member
    Break it up into small goals
  • coryhart4389
    coryhart4389 Posts: 73 Member
    Like others have said: “there is no end point”. I have reached my goal weight and below several times in my life, 80 lbs being my largest loss only to gain back. Maintaining is more difficult, IMO, and I’m determined not to regain weight this time! Think about a life change and good eating habits that are sustainable and forget about losing weight. JMHO…
  • sheahughes
    sheahughes Posts: 133 Member
    Some small goals that are fitness oriented also help, walking an extra 100 metres or kilometre; climbing one more set of stairs than usual; getting an extra set of exercises in, or increasing weights slightly. Sometimes it helps to focus on something other than the scale.
    Congratulations on the 30lbs lost!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    fatfish420 wrote: »
    I have lost just over 30 so far but nothing feels like it has changed. I am still wearing the same clothes and I can still get out of breath doing simple tasks

    clothing in larger sizes is DESIGNED to cover a broader weight range. this is on PURPOSE. continue to lose weight. as you lose, and drop sizes, you will notice that GRADUALLY, the weight difference goes down in between sizes.

    I don't know how it is for men, but for women, at least for me, now... at my current weight of about 170, it is around 10 pounds for a jeans size.

    Cardio and losing weight will help with endurance and getting out of breath. It takes time but endurance builds up relatively quickly, all things considered. I don't think you mentioned what kind of exercise you are doing, if any, and that is what will make the biggest difference in that, as it conditions your body. So even if you start small, you will notice a difference pretty quickly (within a few weeks, probably, IF you remain pretty consistent with it)

  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    I broke it into mini goals of 10% of my body weight at a time. When I reached a goal, I'd reset for 10% of my new weight until I got within 25 lbs of my "ultimate" goal.

    I also went slow- goal of 1 lb per week and really focused on establishing sustainable practices and behaviors, and seriously reflect on my mental relationship with food so that when I reached my goal I would be on a mindset that I could continue
  • mjglantz
    mjglantz Posts: 508 Member
    Three things helped me (and I wanted to lose about 50 -60 lbs) was to set interim goals.
    When I started I decided to stick with my new plan until after Christmas (started mid October). When I hit that goal and had lost about 10 lbs I kept going.
    Second, was the acceptance finally that what I did to lose weight was what I'd be doing for life so there was no end point.
    Third was choosing to eat healthy most of the time knowing that a restrictive way of eating wouldn't stick for long. Even now 8+ years after losing over 80 lbs I practice this way of eating.

    Over time I learned to love exercise.
    You can do this, one day at a time. You're doing great!
  • revinso
    revinso Posts: 11 Member
    I disagree with a lot of the experience here. I think it is necessary to be very disciplined in order to succeed. I simply do not want to be fat. I have worked out home made meals, accurately calorie calculated, in sufficient variety to keep me interested, and I stick to those: no excuses. "Treats" are just lapses, and I simply stopped eating bread, cakes, added sugar, fruit juices, biscuits, sweets etc from day one. Zero alcohol from day one. Very limited potatoes and pasta within the meal plan, and no more than once a week. No manufactured food - I make everything and weigh everything. Moderate exercise 5 days out of 7. Daily weighing first thing. Weekly blood sugar and blood pressure checks and waist and neck and bicep measurement checks. I stay very hydrated, with cold water. There is no point just losing water in a diet. Body mass scales (very cheap now) help with a rough check on this.

    In my case I wished to lose at least 88 pounds and my target date for this is 31 March 2022. I started 6 weeks ago and have lost 31 pounds so far. If I show any sign of not making progress over a period of a couple of days of weigh ins, I eat less until the scales drop again (usually just a day). For me this is a project and the only way to achieve the aim is to be focussed and work hard. My wife is encouraging, which helps. (She s naturally thin).

    Every week I attend a free educational health care course run by the local authority where I live. Everyone on it is obese (mostly doctor referrals), and I am the only male. We have twelve attendees and I have lost more than the rest of the group put together in the past six weeks. Some have put weight on. I think mostly because they have failed many times in paid for weight loss courses where they pile the weight back on eventually, invariably because of alcohol and sugary treats and excessive portion sizes. They could all lose weight if they wanted it enough and stopped making excuses.

    Some delude themselves that they can count calories by estimating their portions. If we want to have a healthy weight, or be thin, then people like me who have become obese simply have to accept that dead calories in alcohol and sugary foods are gone forever.

    In my case I do not want a long term goal stretching into the distance. My aim is to get down to a sensible weight within six months from my start date. By new year I will definitely have lost more than half my target. There will be no backsliding over Christmas.
  • Walkywalkerson
    Walkywalkerson Posts: 456 Member
    Do you think your overly strict plan is sustainable for maintenence @revinso?
    Because as soon as you stop doing what you're doing you will gain the weight back if you don't learn to moderate rather than restrict.
    Like others have said - I think it's important to listen to others that are already at maintenance and take their ideas and advice on board.
  • coryhart4389
    coryhart4389 Posts: 73 Member
    revinso wrote: »
    I disagree with a lot of the experience here. I think it is necessary to be very disciplined in order to succeed. I simply do not want to be fat. I have worked out home made meals, accurately calorie calculated, in sufficient variety to keep me interested, and I stick to those: no excuses. "Treats" are just lapses, and I simply stopped eating bread, cakes, added sugar, fruit juices, biscuits, sweets etc from day one. Zero alcohol from day one. Very limited potatoes and pasta within the meal plan, and no more than once a week. No manufactured food - I make everything and weigh everything. Moderate exercise 5 days out of 7. Daily weighing first thing. Weekly blood sugar and blood pressure checks and waist and neck and bicep measurement checks. I stay very hydrated, with cold water. There is no point just losing water in a diet. Body mass scales (very cheap now) help with a rough check on this.
    .

    This method works, however IMO, it’s not sustainable in maintaining. I have lasted about 4 years at best, but was playing very competitive basketball in Miami. In my mid forties my body starting breaking down I couldn’t sustain my activity and level of play, and I gained weight back. This time in my early 50s I’m at maintenance after losing 60 lbs, however I have a goal of playing professional Pickleball, without this motivation I would not be able to continue with this approach. Listen to successful people, live is short…..are you really going to give up sugar, a casual drink, or a slice of pizza until your 6 feet under ground. Not a way to live, IMO!

  • wunderkindking
    wunderkindking Posts: 1,615 Member
    revinso wrote: »
    I disagree with a lot of the experience here. I think it is necessary to be very disciplined in order to succeed. I simply do not want to be fat. I have worked out home made meals, accurately calorie calculated, in sufficient variety to keep me interested, and I stick to those: no excuses. "Treats" are just lapses, and I simply stopped eating bread, cakes, added sugar, fruit juices, biscuits, sweets etc from day one. Zero alcohol from day one. Very limited potatoes and pasta within the meal plan, and no more than once a week. No manufactured food - I make everything and weigh everything. Moderate exercise 5 days out of 7. Daily weighing first thing. Weekly blood sugar and blood pressure checks and waist and neck and bicep measurement checks. I stay very hydrated, with cold water. There is no point just losing water in a diet. Body mass scales (very cheap now) help with a rough check on this.
    .

    This method works, however IMO, it’s not sustainable in maintaining. I have lasted about 4 years at best, but was playing very competitive basketball in Miami. In my mid forties my body starting breaking down I couldn’t sustain my activity and level of play, and I gained weight back. This time in my early 50s I’m at maintenance after losing 60 lbs, however I have a goal of playing professional Pickleball, without this motivation I would not be able to continue with this approach. Listen to successful people, live is short…..are you really going to give up sugar, a casual drink, or a slice of pizza until your 6 feet under ground. Not a way to live, IMO!

    And this is the crux of it for me.

    I've said before that I would rather still be obese than never eat another cookie - and I mean it - but it isn't literally the cookie (or the pizza, or a beer or whatever thing). What is IS however is the recognition that food and sharing it is steeped into our species as... a BIG part of bonding and experiences for us as a whole species. Yeah, the foods vary by culture but the act of sharing food is a very, very HUMAN thing.

    What I'm not going to give up is meeting my friends once a month to grab a burger. I'm not going to give up making a batch of Christmas cookies with my now grown children. I'm not going to refuse the food my elderly mother makes me the few times a year I see her, because it's got lots of butter and calories. I'm not going to not make s'mores around a campfire on our summer cabin rental.

    I will BALANCE those things - skip the fries with the burger, send most of the cookies to work with the kids or husband, make a salad for us to share along with the food she made for me, up my activity when I'm at the cabin - with other options but get all strict and totally stop them or make my weight management plan rely on excluding myself from those sorts of things?

    OH HECK NO.

    Being a good weight adds a lot to my quality of life. I ride, I run, I paddleboard, I play all sorts of sports with dogs. That was the idea.

    What was not the idea was reducing my quality of life and my time with people I love by making what I eat all the time some restrictive experience that leads to me not being totally present with people I love because I'm preoccupied by how many calories I'm consuming or burning during these relative limited periods of time.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I didn't have a ton to lose, but lost 40 Lbs over the course of about 9 months. I actually never had a particular number in mind as a goal weight or Lbs to lose...I figured I'd just know when I got there. I didn't really focus a lot on the scale but rather focused on things like incorporating more exercise into my life and getting better nutrition, etc. My primary concerns were health related as I had a lot of bad bloodwork and was seeing my Dr. every 3 months over the course of that first year. My primary objective and motivation was to see improvement on that front for every visit. In doing the things I needed to do to improve my health, weight loss happened.

    I also realized early on that just getting some weight off wasn't going to be the end of anything. If I wanted to maintain my health I would need to continue to do the same things I was doing while losing weight in maintenance. I more or less maintained my weight from April 2013 right up until the pandemic hit. Unfortunately I lost site of a lot of things and put on 20 Lbs since March of 2020. My physical in August also confirmed that my blood work, while not as bad as it was initially is starting to not look great. I have an appointment for a new GP at the end of January, so at minimum I want to see an improvement bloodwork wise, so I've been back in the bike saddle and in the weight room regularly again and eating better. I've lost a couple of Lbs but really going to be watching my diet more closely starting next week. I figure it'll take me a good 4-5 months to get back to where I was weight wise, but I'm hopeful that I can get my health markers in order faster.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,457 Member
    edited November 2021

    Would that be a singing dog I see there, Callsit?


    our worst best one was a frog that croaked Christmas carols

    😍