Exercise, diet and limited diet

I have lost over 230 pounds.
I am approximately a size 10 in jeans currently (i mean, we know jeans, some bigger, some smaller, but thats the average size)
In the average fitted ladies t shirt, I wear a medium.
In an audition yesterday, the actor I was reading/auditioning WITH... PICKED ME UP AND CARRIED ME ACROSS THE STAGE
So... I KNOW I am not a large person. At all. I KNOW this.

When I look in the mirror, however, I see someone who is much much larger than what the reality is. Now, not 230 pounds heavier, so my brain has caught up SOME, but I see at LEAST 100 pounds heavier than what I am. IT IS ALL IN MY MIND. And I would bet, its in yours, too. Body dysmorphia is real, and its challenging to deal with. I see my real size better in photos (usually). So, if you dont do that, I would suggest you start.
Yes, there is some extra fat still on me (that is not in my mind). But not much, comparatively speaking. Women have a bit of belly fat, ESPECIALLY when we sit or bend over. WE HAVE TO. ALL PEOPLE DO. its normal.
Read this: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10689837/does-this-uterus-make-my-stomach-look-fat/p1
I don't know the celebrity you mention, but I'd also garner that there's a lot of photoshop and editing going on because thats what the media (and even IG models) DO... My thighs will never be the size of my arms. I will always have stretch marks (mostly thanks to the 2 kids I had years and years ago) and there is no cure for cellulite and that, too, is something nearly all women get. Regardless of size.
I cant speak to the food issues, but I do know IBS can cause bloating. 18 months for an elimination diet seems like a long time, but maybe its not. If you are not working with a dietician, start now. Anytime you reintroduce carbs after eating very low carb, you will see the scale go up. Its water weight, not real weight.
As someone else said, recomp can help change how your body LOOKS. The scale may go up some, thats okay. Last month I did not lose any weight, but lost 11 inches overall? if I am remembering correctly? So, that may be worth looking into, as well.
Youve got this. BE kind to yourself. Our minds can be horrible places to get sucked into, but many times, they lie to us.

KelBlundell wrote: »

I should start by confessing I have some pretty disordered thinking and body image right now.

Since Christmas last year I'd lost 50lbs 🥳🥳🥳 I was thrilled! All through low carb. But I still had 20lbs to go!

Unfortunately in the last three months, I've been gaining weight and struggling a lot with hunger.

I work out _a lot_. Usually kickboxing twice a week, cycle every day, good 40 mile bike ride at weekend, plus two gym sessions; weights and light cardio. Usually averages 11hrs a week on top of full time job. I was struggling a lot and a friend recommended I start eating more carbs. Slow release. I added quinoa, rice, sweet potato. My abilities increased loads! Actually eating it though is tough. I feel like I'm adding lbs as I eat.

However my weight started to go up again. 10lbs up now on what I was in Sept at my 50lb lost. My dress size hasn't changed so I'm OK that that is muscle composition. I upped my calories to 1800 odd net.

But I still feel like an enormous whale. I'm a size 12-14 (uk) and my thighs wobble. My upper arms are saggy chunky and my stomach bulges when I sit.

I feel like I'm getting something wrong. I want to lose weight, I want to be a size 10, but I seem to be slipping backwards.

My diet is super restrictive- I have a milk protein allergy, gluten intolerance, yeast intolerance, most fruits and veg upset my stomach (ibs).

So my diet is pretty limited to meats, fish, eggs, sweet potato, rice, quinoa, brocoli, green beans, carrots, radishes. Almond milk and vegan protein shakes.

Eating high fat like burgers and sausages makes me a bit bloated. I've basically been on an 18 month elimination diet to determine what u can eat. I miss salad and fruit so much 😫

Anyway any advice to get thighs like Tess Daly would be gratefully received. Most friends are telling me to eat more and chill the f*&^ out 😅😅😅

Paraphrasing the great Yogi Berra (a baseball player, not an actual yogi!): Body weight is 90 per cent mental. The other half is physical. 😉

I think your post is mostly about the mental side of it, as you yourself acknowledge in the very first paragraph. That's the part to work on most, now, IMO - you seem to be doing pretty great on the physical side: Slimmer, fitter, stronger, more active, healthier - good stuff!

For pretty much all of us who lose a meaningful amount of weight - as you so recently have - it takes a long time for the mind to catch up with how much our body has changed. We still "see" the old, fatter self, not just in our mind's eye, but when we look in the mirror, sometimes even in photos. It's freakin' weird, honestly. For me, 6+ years into maintenance at a healthy weight, that happens less frequently than it did at first, but it still happens.

Realistically, I'm sorry to say, you aren't Tess Daly. That's not a criticism. There's only one Tess Daly.

You're you, and that's a fine, fine thing. You can be your most fit, beautiful self, and you can keep improving your health and appearance by doing the good work you're doing with nutritious calorie-appropriate eating, and a good exercise routine. You're the only one who can be the very best you.

(I'm betting that's how Tess did it, too, though she may not be super-public about that work side of things - celebrities like to present a magical-seeming illusion, often, or talk up the fitness routine they get compensated to promote rather than the path they actually took to get where they are. Also, by the way, they usually are photoshopped in their posed photos, including some supposedly candid ones on red carpets and such. I just looked around, and there are some obvious sneaky-paparazzi photos of her out there where it's obvious she has a bit of wobble going on, when unposed, too, even though she is very slim and looks quite fit.)

To the part I bolded:

The estimable @callsitlikeiseeit posted the "uterus" thread just upthread a bit. Go there. You will see some normal women with varying degrees of wobble, women who actually personally posted their photos of themselves here on MFP, and it includes some who are very fit/slim/toned showing that when they sit, bend, slump, relax in certain ways, there are bulges.

If our skin "fits" when we're fully erect, it's going to bulge a bit when we compress it by sitting/bending. (That may not be true if someone is literally unhealthfully underweight, but severely underweight is not a good look, let alone that it's not even remotely healthy. BTW - and I'll bet you know this - those who intentionally make themselves severely underweight often look at themselves and see fat and wobbles - 90% mental, like I said.)

Also like @callsitlikeiseeit said, relaxed muscle wobbles. That's particularly likely with the longer major muscles, like upper arms or thighs, that either sag with gravity when relaxed (arms) or compress against a surface when relaxed (thighs on chairs). People (especially women IME) mistake that relaxed muscle for fat, and hate on it. Grrr.

The arm thing is a particular pet peeve for me. Every women I've walked through this in real life, when she bemoaned her "bingo wings" or "arm flaps", was mistaking her nice arm muscles for fat or loose skin. I'm not saying there was zero loose skin or fat, but there was much less than she thought Every. Single. Time.

Here's a quick illustration. (This is not Tess Daly. This is my very own li'l ol' lady arm last year at age 65, photos taken literally seconds apart. I'm not saying I'm a supermodel (😆), I'm saying this is a real life example that illustrates the basic idea I'm trying to communicate). I'm going to put the photos in spoilers to click on, just so this isn't like a giant arm billboard when people scroll through.

Photo 1: This is my arm, relaxed.
Yikes, huh? Look at allllll that dangly, hangy stuff there. Whoooah!

Photo 2: But this that very same arm, mere moments later, flexed good and hard:
Far from perfect (which is OK with me) . . . but it's a very different picture, I think.

Please DO NOT hold out your relaxed arm as in photo 1, and assume that anything hang-y is fat or loose skin. It's not. I guarantee, *some* of the hang-y bit is muscle. Try it yourself. Hold onto the "flap" of "fat and loose skin" right up to near the bone as you hold the arm horizontal, fully relaxed. Then, once you have that grip on your upper arm, flex hard, tightening up everything: Get the elbow above the shoulder, curl the hand toward the forearm, the wrist toward the shoulder, tighten, tighten, tighten. Some - for most women lots - of that hang-y stuff gets firm within your fingertips when flexed. That part is MUSCLE. Please don't hate it when it's relaxed: It's supposed to be more slack then!

Back to the first part: 90% mental. Work on it explicitly, if it's troubling. For me, a way to work on the mental is to focus on accomplishments, what my body can do for me. That can be exercise goals (like lifting heavier weights, with time and patience), or it can simply be celebrating how great it is to move, and how improving fitness makes that even better. There are other ways, too: Meditation, gratitude journaling, professional or self-run cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, and more.

My body: I wouldn't have much fun without it, y'know? 😉 It's not perfect, but it's nice to have, and I can keep working on it. That's empowering, positive, to me.

Best wishes! :flowerforyou: