Weight loss

I'm not discounting the therapy option, because it's a good one. There should be no more stigma or hesitancy than if consulting a personal trainer for exercise help, or a registered dietitian for nutritional help. Therapists are there to provide thought-patterns help.

In addition to that:

1. I wonder, when you mention "by evening forget what I started and eat whatever I want" if you're over-restricting calories, or giving yourself extreme limitations in defining "healthy foods" or "diet foods".

2. I also wonder whether there might be other factors in the mix: It's common to have appetite or cravings bloom in the evening, or so-called will power waver then, because as the day goes on, we subtly become more fatigued. Fatigue tends to make the body seek energy, i.e., food, calories.

With respect to #1 above, eating some number of calories under your weight-maintenance calories will result in weight loss. Eat many, many calories under, one theoretically loses weight fast . . . but it's harder to stick with it long enough to lose a meaningful amount of weight. Sometimes, a very slow loss rate - eating just a little bit under maintenance - can be a faster practical route to a healthy weight, than would be an aggressively fast loss target that results in breaks or slips, perhaps big ones. Slow loss is fine, and more achievable.

There have been folks here who just set calorie goal at maintenance, try to average eating some number lower than that, and not pressuring themselves to keep that white-knuckled low. That can work.

One of the classic diet myths, especially true when I was coming up (I'm 66), but still true now: There's a perception that women need to eat punitively few calories, certainly 1200 or fewer, in order to lose weight. It's just not true as a universal. It's true that some older, inactive, petite women do have low calorie needs. But bunches of us don't, especially if currently materially overweight, busy in daily life, active exercisers, taller/bigger people inherently, etc.

What calorie goal are you targeting? Where did you get it, and based on what data about you (age, height, weight, lifestyle, etc.)?

Another diet myth is that you need to eat special "diet foods" and avoid even a trace of "bad foods". Also not strictly true! Nutrition is important for health, so it's good to eat a well-rounded range of things. There's no need to live entirely on veggies/salads, avoid sweet fruits (or the occasional other sweets), skip all bread and pasta (or "white foods", etc.). Any combination of foods that is sustainable, and adds up on average to less than daily maintenance calories, will result in weight loss. Deprivation is not essential.

Some people do have trigger foods that they're unable to eat in moderation, once they start eating those; so they want and need not to eat those foods. Which those are - or if there are any - is quite individual. Apart from that, there's no need for a generally healthy person to rule out foods or whole categories of foods. (Clearly, if someone has a health condition or medication that contraindicates certain food choices, that needs to be respected.)

It's OK to include some treats, some fast food, processed foods, etc. Balance is the goal, not deprivation. We're trying to find happily sustainable habits that lead us to a healthy weight, and keep us there long term, right?

With respect to #2 above:

How is your sleep quality and quantity? If not ideal, can it be improved?

How is your nutrition? (Truly sub-par nutrition can cause fatigue, and for some people, severely restricting carbs can do it.) Also, sometimes cravings are triggered by sub-par nutrition . . . and we don't always crave the foods that would remedy the deficiency, we might crave something else, oddly enough. Getting enough protein, healthy fats, and plenty of varied, colorful fruits and veggies can help.

How is your hydration? There's no need to drown yourself in water, but dehydration causes fatigue, too,
and sometimes hunger/dehydration signals are mixed. All fluids count (yes, even coffee and tea). If your urine is pale yellow, you're probably fine. If it's dark, try drinking more, spreading it through the day. If you have issues with urinary urgency or frequency - a common issue among women as we age - increase hydration gradually, and try to avoid going "just in case" or at the first (controllable) urge, if possible. If having disruptive problems, see a urologist. (I've taken this advice myself, BTW.)

How is your stress level? (It sounds like that could be relevant for you?) Stress causes fatigue, can lead to sparked appetite. If stress is relatively high, are there things you can do, other than food, that would help reduce your stress level? Some people benefit from prayer or meditation, mile exercise, aromatherapy bubble baths, adult coloring books, journaling, or other approaches. It goes without saying that if there are stressful things in your life that you can simply skip, do that - but it's not often that simple.

I'd go back to the therapy point, but if any of the above resonates with you, perhaps there are some changes you can make that will make weight loss easier. Sometimes "easy" is a more important thing than "fast". Often, even.

Taking an analytic, problem-solving approach - if and when you can find the emotional energy to do it - may help.

Wishing you a route to success!

I hit "disagree" on Lisa's post above only because I don't agree that all of those in the list are necessary for weight loss and they're listed as if they're rules.

Skipping breakfast is a matter of preference.

Regular meals (such as scheduled?) may work for some people. May NOT work for others.

I agree on a variety of whole fruits and vegetables.

"Get more active." Can't hurt. Not necessary for weight loss.

Plenty of water. Okay.

"High fiber foods." Yes, but there is a limit for me above which it causes gastro issues. For me, about 50g fiber is the top end and 20 is the low end.

Food labels. Good to learn, not necessary for weight loss. Can become an obsession. Easy fix? Eat mostly food that doesn't come in a package with a label.

Smaller plates. Good strategy!

Regular exercise and yoga. Good for you, not necessary for weight loss.