40 yo mom, 150+ to lose, at rock bottom. HELP.
eld6md
Posts: 3 Member
Hello. I am a 40 y.o. mom of 2 and I have battled my weight since childhood. I have gone up and down countless times, using many different programs, through my youth, my formative years, my failed marriage, and now my childrens youth. My son will be 15 in August and my daughter will be 13 in May. I have robbed them of most of their childhood experiences because of my limitations. I am ready to turn things around for all three of us, because I am at my highest weight ever and feel like I can barely function. My kids also need to lose some excess weight. Please help with insight, inspiration, and friend-adds from people with like-goals. Thank you in advance and I look forward to an interchange of encouragement.
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Replies
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Hi I was a single mother for my daughter’s entire childhood. I understand the feeling of wanting my child to have the best (like she deserves) and I have felt “too tired” for all of the things I wanted to do. It probably hurts me more than it hurt her growing up. I gave her more than most two parent households in this world. Most importantly, she knows she is loved. Though a few times in her teen years she went through the “nobody loves me” phase. It passed.
But I do feel my emotional eating habits have done her a disservice. When I had mom control over her eating habits it stayed in check. Now she is “an adult” and keeps gaining. I guess the best we can do is to make these small changes become lifestyle changes that last. We can set a good example!
I have also felt like I can barely function for the last few years after some health problems. I am doing baby steps and each day things are more positive. I don’t do my very best one week a month but this month, thanks to this app, I stayed within my calorie goals.3 -
Hello! I can understand where you are coming from totally. My total need to lose is about 165 lbs. I've also got three kids, and missed out on a LOT when they were younger because I was just too heavy to do anything. I'm 41 now, with a 2 year old grandson, and I need to get my butt into gear. We've got this!1
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Not a parent, but I'm 43 and have at least 60kg (130lbs) to lose. Rather than focusing on what has gone wrong in the past, let's just focus on the now and the future. What did you do right today? What are you going to do right tomorrow?8
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Totally revamping your lifestyle can be overwhelming. Start slowly. Just log what you are eating now and see where you are. Once you can see where you are, you can set reasonable expectations for yourself. You are not magically be satiated on a 1200 calorie diet if your body is used to a 3000 calorie diet, so I'd advise against going there. Chances are your MFP calculator won't tell you to go there either, even at 2lb/week which is safe with your loss goals. Follow the plan, trying to jumpstart it or go lower than suggested usually just leads to frustration and eventually quitting.
Exercise: Calories burned from exercise can vary wildly on the app. Best to have a HR monitor to calculate calorie burns and manually overwrite the MFP values when you log exercises. This still isn't 100% accurate, but its a good place to start. I also usually only eat back about half, but that is because I'm a little lax with weighing my food and the off set works for me.
Logging food: Measure your portions, weight (grams) is a better measurement than volume (cups, tablespoons, etc.). Volume will still give you an idea of a serving size. Be reasonable, if an entry says your cupcake is only 100 calories, it probably isn't for a full sized cupcake or maybe it's somebodies modified recipe. In other words if it looks to good to be true, it probably is.
No food is bad: No food is really off limits unless it triggers you to crave it more. For me sugary foods make me crave sugary foods ALL DAY LONG, so I limit them. Pizza is a biggie for me, I need at least 3 pieces to feel satisfied, so I plan ahead when I want it so I have room in my day for 3 slices. Planning, yes planning, is key, but the degree to which you plan can vary. Some people prelog their entire week, some their day, others tend to always eat the same things. These are great ways to succeed, and a great place to start. I've been doing this a while, and have a good idea what the things I like to eat "cost" calorie wise per my size servings so I'm more relaxed about it. I do plan around, and prelog, special events or certain high calorie meals. If for instance I'm going to have a big pasta dinner, I log it in the morning to see how much I have left during the day. Then I eat light during the day and try to get in a workout so I can stay within my daily allotment.
Modifying Recipes: No need to forgo favorites, there are ways to lighten up most recipes. MFP lets you enter your recipes and calculate how many calories there are in a serving. It takes a little time to enter it and to determine what a serving is for you. A scale is your best friend. Some of my favorite dishes are pasta dishes (which is calorie dense). I still eat spaghetti, but I mix it 50:50 with spaghetti squash to cut down calories and still have the volume and mouth feel I like to eat. For pizza I will use a burrito flour as a crust and top with my favorites. I like real cheese so I don't skimp there, but many people are very satisfied with low-fat/ lower-cal cheeses. It all makes a difference.
I'm 48 with 2 teenage girls (on in college one in HS), and still have about 50 pounds to lose. I set my loss goal at 1lb/week because its sustainable for me. When I was in my late 30's early 40's I lost about 40 pounds through intensive exercise and a very strict diet. I eventually couldn't maintain that level and everything just went south, then I got sick and life happened. I put more weight back on. I'm down about 20 pounds so far and slowly whittling away at it.
Just a few things that work for me. Best of luck. Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like.7 -
As it’s been a life long habit , your gonna have attachments and associated foods to issues — So first you will need to resolve those with a counsellor.. Not resolving the past will hinder your future progress — So that would be your first step, followed by getting a full physical check up and then start making plans0
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Hi, im a disabled mum and am struggling to lose weight. Having others to talk to helps me so if you'd like to add me as a friend you can.x0
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you can add me as a friend, but as you start this remember one thing, you can do this. Its not rocket science, its not magic. If you work hard and stick to it, you can do it! Stay positive, be patient with yourself and the results, and log in every day! Wishing you the best of luck!2
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I was a single mom of two so I know how you're feeling. You have lots of responsibility and things going on at the same time. You have to still take care of yourself, even though lots of times it doesn't seem a priority with all you have on your plate.
Try making one change a week, it worked for me. I first started out just logging my food, then finding substitutes for four things that are unhealthy, next drink water, then start walking, etc. If I tried to change everything at once it was overwhelming.
Please friend me, I would be happy to chat.2 -
These tips are all amazing and i agree! I would also encourage anyone who hasnt done so yet and has a lot of weight to lose or is over 27 BMI and has additional health issues like hypertension, high cholesterol, fatty liver, pre diabetes or diabetes to visit a dr who specializes in weight loss/endocrinology. They can often prescribe supportive medications - you still have to do the same work you are going to do here and it will by no means be a quick fix, but obesity does have hormonal and other metabolic links the impact of which can be lessened, allowing you additional support to get over some of the bigger challenges. There is no such thing as a magic pill, and you need to evaluate pros and cons with your dr but a lot of the therapies currently being prescribed and finding success are higher/different dosing patterns of diabetes drugs, others are drugs that have helped people with other types of addictions manage cravings, and sometimes a dr can review medicines an obese person is on for other things and suggest alternative therapies for you to discuss with your primary care physician that dont come with weight gain or bloating.0
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To be clear I am not recommending any of the diet pill and hormone injection weight plan pushing doctors you see in ads on the internet but a legitimate endocrinologist specializing in weight loss, preferably associated with a teaching hospital.0
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Add me!!! We can motivate each other to reach our goals!0
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Add me, op and any one who would like to 😊
I'm in need of friends too, similar story. 38yo, probably Ed, mum of two teens, feel like it's been years since I could be any kind of normal mum really. My weight has just gone up and up until even walking to dentist appointments is impossible and my husband has to do it I have about 200lb to lose to be anywhere near fit and healthy, which is a massive daunting task, but I need to be positive and literally think one meal at a time.0 -
All you ladies would benefit from the support of a group that allows you to have your own thread to document your journey and offers support. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/3322-losing-100-pounds-without-surgery this is the link to join.
This is a supportive, non-judgmental community of people who have opted to get rid of 100+ pounds without weight loss surgery.
We have no stringent posting rules, except to please be respectful of other members. Solicitations of products are not permitted and violate MFP's terms of service. Any posts soliciting a particular product will be removed.
Any discussion of a medical nature is not to be construed as medical advice. Please consult your physician for medical concerns and/or questions regarding your medical condition.
Due to the personal nature of some of our topics/posts and, in order to protect the privacy of our members, our group is set to "Private." Please don't let that stop you from sending a join request. We welcome all those that are serious about getting to a healthier weight.0 -
Hi! Late 30s here. Happy to be an accountability buddy. No kids yet. But definitely know what it’s like to fluctuate in weight and bounce back and forth with diets. I have 120 lbs to lose. I’ve lost 70lbs before doing a low carb living. Gained it back because I didn’t properly handle my emotional eating. You can do this! One day, one step at a time! You’ve got this! 😊0
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Hi, I am a 40 year old mom. I have 4 children. After the last two (twins) I suffered severe PPD. I gained 100 lbs. Just within the last year have I been able to stop eating my feelings. I have went back to work and that helped mentally, to be able to talk to grown ups. And before my twins I was following Trim Healthy Momma and lost a lot of weight. But I have struggled to get back on plan. Until this year. I was going to start January 1st but covid had other plans for me. So I started January 24th. I have lost 19.8 pounds since I restarted but 29.8 lbs since I last logged into mfp a year ago. I finally feel like I have settled back in the groove of losing weight and making healthy decisions. My babies (well they are big kids now) my hubby and especially MYSELF deserve a healthy me. Add me and we can keep each other encouraged!0
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I'm not a mom but I also have 150lbs+ to lose and would love to build a great support network and encourage one another!1
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Hope your Saturday is great one. Stay focused, I am cheering for you!0
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Best Wishes to you. I am struggling too, with another loss of 91 pounds needed. We can overcome so much, but it is a huge challenge.0
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I am a little older than you . But I also have battled with my weight since I was a kid. I brought both my kids up on my own . And I think one good parent is better than two fighting ones or disfunctional ones . I did my best , but it can be hard. Add me if you like .
Shell0
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