Peloton for Wife

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I spent 1500 on a peloton because my wife had to have it. She has used it once in the two weeks we have had it. I’m I crazy for feeling upset by this?
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  • papercut2k
    papercut2k Posts: 83 Member
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    Can it be returned? I understand the feeling. There's an off-brand elliptical in my house collecting dust since the gyms open up.

    Maybe the wife might get inspired by the Peloton wife in the commercials. Never did get why it was so controversial.
  • dulciedarling2937
    dulciedarling2937 Posts: 3 Member
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    Nah I’ve done the same with a treadmill, bought for £1000, for myself as I run and my husband who is a footie referee, I can count on two hands how many times I used to, Hubby didn’t use it once, we sold it after a year as we didn’t use it, I find it hard to exercise at home, not so much running as I prefer to run outside.
  • Bunniato
    Bunniato Posts: 17 Member
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    No, it makes sense why you feel upset. That's a huge investment you made on something she didn't end up using. I think you should try to express to her why this is upsetting to you, but do so without blaming her, and try to come from a place of understanding. (It's doubtful she anticipated that she would use it so little - she probably thought she'd use it every day.) Maybe you could offer some gentle encouragement for her to try to use it more. If she doesn't, I would think about getting a refund if you can, or at least reselling it.
  • allother94
    allother94 Posts: 588 Member
    edited May 2022
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    First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.

    So if my wife takes all our money and burns it, I can’t say anything because it’s ours? If she is acting like a child demanding toys, I can’t talk about her as such?
  • Bunniato
    Bunniato Posts: 17 Member
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    allother94 wrote: »
    First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.

    So if my wife takes all our money and burns it, I can’t say anything because it’s ours? If she is acting like a child demanding toys, I can’t talk about her as such?

    Yikes, dude. Why are you married to her if this is the way you view her?
  • allother94
    allother94 Posts: 588 Member
    edited May 2022
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    Bunniato wrote: »
    allother94 wrote: »
    First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.

    So if my wife takes all our money and burns it, I can’t say anything because it’s ours? If she is acting like a child demanding toys, I can’t talk about her as such?

    Yikes, dude. Why are you married to her if this is the way you view her?

    I don’t view my wife this way. I’m trying to understand sunshine’s logic…
  • allother94
    allother94 Posts: 588 Member
    edited May 2022
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    allother94 wrote: »
    First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.

    It is our money, but I spent it. I never said it was mine. You should deal with your unconscious sexism so it stops coming out in your speech…. Would you have responded so negatively if I was a wife discussing my husband? I think not…

    The gender roles don't matter. The tone of your post suggests you are upset because your wife is not immediately taking advantage of the gift you gave her. I suppose you'd be just as upset if she was the one that bought it instead of you.

    I also suggested you ASK your wife why she's not using it. If she doesn't like it as much as she thought she would and you're not interested in using it, then consider selling it. But maybe there's another reason. Ask her instead of stewing in your juices and trying to get internet strangers to validate your outrage.

    I couldn’t get to your suggestion because I was so offended by your first comments…. Where you basically call me a sexist pig…

    I’ve obviously asked her, and she says she hasn’t had time yet. Basically, “exercise is hard and buying a peloton didn’t make it easier”. And she says she “will do it later”.
  • LaBellaHarris
    LaBellaHarris Posts: 63 Member
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    SO GIVE HER TIME. Seriously. Stop being upset and problem solve. Oh, she can't work out because she needs to do the dishes? Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry! Team work makes the dream work, and all that.

    It's easy to complain about stuff in a marriage. My husband got a rower, and we've only used it a couple of times so far. He's been having sinus problems and bad allergies; it's tough to be motivated to work out when you're sneezing and coughing up a lung. Work has been keeping him busy, and it's probably daunting because I've been shoving empty boxes into the study where the rower is to get them out of the entry way before Recycle Day; if he wants to work out in there, he'd have to break them down and take them out first to even get to the machine. I'm not getting mad or upset about the cost of the rower (more expensive than your Peloton) because that's a waste of energy that doesn't actually do anything to fix the problems. Being mad at my husband is counterproductive; HE IS ON MY TEAM AND I WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. His problems are our problems, just like his salary is our money, and the baby I gave him is our kid. If I'm frustrated with a lack of progress, I direct it at the problem keeping us from making progress, not at my husband or at my self, because then I might come up with a solution or a work-around or something new to try; if I'm just mad at my husband or myself for "being lazy" I won't be motivated to do anything! Beating yourself or your spouse up is not helpful!

    Being upset takes energy that you could put to better use. I recommend taking better care of yourself, your wife, and your marriage instead.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,147 Member
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    I spent a lot of money on stuff for exercise and weight loss that I don't use. $1500 is a lot of money, but isn't there a monthly subscription too, like $49 or something? That will add up quickly.

    It's the name of the game. Finding something that's fun and just the right amount of energy expenditure takes experimentation.

    I'd say, give it three months, then tell her if she's not using it that you're going to sell it. I'm sure it will be easy to sell. Lesson learned.
  • allother94
    allother94 Posts: 588 Member
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    SO GIVE HER TIME. Seriously. Stop being upset and problem solve. Oh, she can't work out because she needs to do the dishes? Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry! Team work makes the dream work, and all that.

    It's easy to complain about stuff in a marriage. My husband got a rower, and we've only used it a couple of times so far. He's been having sinus problems and bad allergies; it's tough to be motivated to work out when you're sneezing and coughing up a lung. Work has been keeping him busy, and it's probably daunting because I've been shoving empty boxes into the study where the rower is to get them out of the entry way before Recycle Day; if he wants to work out in there, he'd have to break them down and take them out first to even get to the machine. I'm not getting mad or upset about the cost of the rower (more expensive than your Peloton) because that's a waste of energy that doesn't actually do anything to fix the problems. Being mad at my husband is counterproductive; HE IS ON MY TEAM AND I WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. His problems are our problems, just like his salary is our money, and the baby I gave him is our kid. If I'm frustrated with a lack of progress, I direct it at the problem keeping us from making progress, not at my husband or at my self, because then I might come up with a solution or a work-around or something new to try; if I'm just mad at my husband or myself for "being lazy" I won't be motivated to do anything! Beating yourself or your spouse up is not helpful!

    Being upset takes energy that you could put to better use. I recommend taking better care of yourself, your wife, and your marriage instead.

    I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
  • allother94
    allother94 Posts: 588 Member
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    It’s nonstop with her. She complained she didn’t have a gym membership, so I got her one that she never uses. She complained going to the gym was uncomfortable, so I got her a Peloton that she doesn’t seem interest in. Now she complains that she doesn’t have a trainer and won’t let me get a trainer unless I get her one. $65 an hour times two is too much! She just wants to throw money at her “motivation” problem…

    I don’t think this is an uncommon problem with people. I’ve heard that only 20% of gym members actually go to the gym. But it’s my problem because half the money she is wasting is mine…
  • Go_Deskercise
    Go_Deskercise Posts: 1,630 Member
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    allother94 wrote: »
    I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…

    Hopefully she has more free time than just 20 minutes 2 times a week lol

    First off, they are your feelings so they are already justified because that's how you're feeling. What you do with those feelings is up to you...

    Your wife is not holding a gun to your head and making you buy these things for her (I hope)! Every expensive thing should be talked about before purchase and decided on whether or not it's a good idea or not. If you agreed and bought it, then it's not all on her. Should she be using it? Yes but you can also use it too.

    I asked my husband for a treadmill. We discussed it. He said yes, so we bought it. He decided when there to buy himself a weight bench and weights. We set everything up at home. We worked out consistently for a couple weeks and then it got less and less. We get in little kicks of "ok we need to workout again" but we still don't use the workout equipment as much as we should.

    It's definitely worth a sit down chat about with your wife and not random people on the internet. Ask her what her goals are and how you might be able to help her.

  • allother94
    allother94 Posts: 588 Member
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    allother94 wrote: »
    I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…

    It's definitely worth a sit down chat about with your wife and not random people on the internet. Ask her what her goals are and how you might be able to help her.

    Already done that. She doesn’t want my help; besides agreeing to buy things. Besides, there is nothing to it…. but to do it. I like talking with strangers on the internet because I get honest, unbiased answers…
  • Go_Deskercise
    Go_Deskercise Posts: 1,630 Member
    edited May 2022
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    allother94 wrote: »
    Already done that. She doesn’t want my help; besides agreeing to buy things. Besides, there is nothing to it…. but to do it. I like talking with strangers on the internet because I get honest, unbiased answers…

    Ok I get that, the internet can be a good tool sometimes. When talking to her, does she give you a clear goal of what she wants to accomplish and how she wants to accomplish it? Just because she WANTS something, doesn't means you HAVE to buy it for her. What's she going to do, through a fit? Let her lol Seems you have already bought her some good things for success so it sounds like another serious conversation about purchasing anything else needs to happen. Don't come at her from a place of what she's not doing, but what she needs or what you might be able to do to help her use what she already has before buying additional items/memberships etc..

    From an outsiders perspective, you seem young and the marriage sounds relatively new. Compromise is a hell of a thing to learn in a marriage and money issues will always arise but you learn over time how to best deal with it.
  • allother94
    allother94 Posts: 588 Member
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    jwoolman5 wrote: »
    Good grief, man. Get yourself the #%#% trainer if you want. Ask the trainer if he or she can sometimes do a session with your wife if she really wants one with no longer commitment and ask her to make her own arrangements if she decides to try it. Or ask your trainer about others who might be a better fit for your wife if she is interested.

    If you folks have enough for a Peloton, you have enough for an occasional trainer session. But your wife needs to be the one to decide and to hire her own personal trainer if she wants to try it. It's fine if you want to help by collecting useful info for her, but then step aside and let her do it herself when she is really ready. But really step aside and stay neutral about whether or not she follows through.

    Why were you the one buying the Peloton anyway if you're not interested in using it yourself? Maybe you need to stop giving "gifts" with strings attached. You might seriously check out a few marriage counseling sessions with a good counselor - from the way you talk, it really seems that this is not about the Peloton coat rack. You both have things to work out and communication issues, and a good mediator may help both of you. Better than getting frustrated over a piece of exercise equipment.

    Point taken. Probably should trade in the wife and keep the Peloton…