Peloton for Wife
allother94
Posts: 588 Member
I spent 1500 on a peloton because my wife had to have it. She has used it once in the two weeks we have had it. I’m I crazy for feeling upset by this?
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No 😂 but usually when you get something you want easy, you get bored of it. It just looks pretty in a corner. Too bad though.
Claim it as your own and use it everyday, it will make her jealous and possessive enough she might use it more regularly. Yes we are all still children sometimes.5 -
Crazy? No.
Wasting energy on feeling negative, unproductively? Possibly. 😉5 -
Can it be returned? I understand the feeling. There's an off-brand elliptical in my house collecting dust since the gyms open up.
Maybe the wife might get inspired by the Peloton wife in the commercials. Never did get why it was so controversial.0 -
Nah I’ve done the same with a treadmill, bought for £1000, for myself as I run and my husband who is a footie referee, I can count on two hands how many times I used to, Hubby didn’t use it once, we sold it after a year as we didn’t use it, I find it hard to exercise at home, not so much running as I prefer to run outside.0
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No, it makes sense why you feel upset. That's a huge investment you made on something she didn't end up using. I think you should try to express to her why this is upsetting to you, but do so without blaming her, and try to come from a place of understanding. (It's doubtful she anticipated that she would use it so little - she probably thought she'd use it every day.) Maybe you could offer some gentle encouragement for her to try to use it more. If she doesn't, I would think about getting a refund if you can, or at least reselling it.0
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First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.
Second, it's only been two weeks. Do you know WHY she's only used it once? Maybe she's been tired, stressed, busy or not feeling well. Did she not like it after using it once? I think it's a little early to claim that the money has been wasted.12 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.
So if my wife takes all our money and burns it, I can’t say anything because it’s ours? If she is acting like a child demanding toys, I can’t talk about her as such?0 -
allother94 wrote: »SuzySunshine99 wrote: »First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.
It is our money, but I spent it. I never said it was mine. You should deal with your unconscious sexism so it stops coming out in your speech…. Would you have responded so negatively if I was a wife discussing my husband? I think not…
The gender roles don't matter. The tone of your post suggests you are upset because your wife is not immediately taking advantage of the gift you gave her. I suppose you'd be just as upset if she was the one that bought it instead of you.
I also suggested you ASK your wife why she's not using it. If she doesn't like it as much as she thought she would and you're not interested in using it, then consider selling it. But maybe there's another reason. Ask her instead of stewing in your juices and trying to get internet strangers to validate your outrage.11 -
allother94 wrote: »SuzySunshine99 wrote: »First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.
So if my wife takes all our money and burns it, I can’t say anything because it’s ours? If she is acting like a child demanding toys, I can’t talk about her as such?
Yikes, dude. Why are you married to her if this is the way you view her?4 -
allother94 wrote: »SuzySunshine99 wrote: »First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.
So if my wife takes all our money and burns it, I can’t say anything because it’s ours? If she is acting like a child demanding toys, I can’t talk about her as such?
Yikes, dude. Why are you married to her if this is the way you view her?
I don’t view my wife this way. I’m trying to understand sunshine’s logic…0 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »allother94 wrote: »SuzySunshine99 wrote: »First of all...since you are married, it's not "your" money that you spent, it's hers as well. Don't talk about your wife like she's a child demanding toys.
It is our money, but I spent it. I never said it was mine. You should deal with your unconscious sexism so it stops coming out in your speech…. Would you have responded so negatively if I was a wife discussing my husband? I think not…
The gender roles don't matter. The tone of your post suggests you are upset because your wife is not immediately taking advantage of the gift you gave her. I suppose you'd be just as upset if she was the one that bought it instead of you.
I also suggested you ASK your wife why she's not using it. If she doesn't like it as much as she thought she would and you're not interested in using it, then consider selling it. But maybe there's another reason. Ask her instead of stewing in your juices and trying to get internet strangers to validate your outrage.
I couldn’t get to your suggestion because I was so offended by your first comments…. Where you basically call me a sexist pig…
I’ve obviously asked her, and she says she hasn’t had time yet. Basically, “exercise is hard and buying a peloton didn’t make it easier”. And she says she “will do it later”.0 -
SO GIVE HER TIME. Seriously. Stop being upset and problem solve. Oh, she can't work out because she needs to do the dishes? Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry! Team work makes the dream work, and all that.
It's easy to complain about stuff in a marriage. My husband got a rower, and we've only used it a couple of times so far. He's been having sinus problems and bad allergies; it's tough to be motivated to work out when you're sneezing and coughing up a lung. Work has been keeping him busy, and it's probably daunting because I've been shoving empty boxes into the study where the rower is to get them out of the entry way before Recycle Day; if he wants to work out in there, he'd have to break them down and take them out first to even get to the machine. I'm not getting mad or upset about the cost of the rower (more expensive than your Peloton) because that's a waste of energy that doesn't actually do anything to fix the problems. Being mad at my husband is counterproductive; HE IS ON MY TEAM AND I WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. His problems are our problems, just like his salary is our money, and the baby I gave him is our kid. If I'm frustrated with a lack of progress, I direct it at the problem keeping us from making progress, not at my husband or at my self, because then I might come up with a solution or a work-around or something new to try; if I'm just mad at my husband or myself for "being lazy" I won't be motivated to do anything! Beating yourself or your spouse up is not helpful!
Being upset takes energy that you could put to better use. I recommend taking better care of yourself, your wife, and your marriage instead.
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I spent a lot of money on stuff for exercise and weight loss that I don't use. $1500 is a lot of money, but isn't there a monthly subscription too, like $49 or something? That will add up quickly.
It's the name of the game. Finding something that's fun and just the right amount of energy expenditure takes experimentation.
I'd say, give it three months, then tell her if she's not using it that you're going to sell it. I'm sure it will be easy to sell. Lesson learned.2 -
LaBellaHarris wrote: »SO GIVE HER TIME. Seriously. Stop being upset and problem solve. Oh, she can't work out because she needs to do the dishes? Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry! Team work makes the dream work, and all that.
It's easy to complain about stuff in a marriage. My husband got a rower, and we've only used it a couple of times so far. He's been having sinus problems and bad allergies; it's tough to be motivated to work out when you're sneezing and coughing up a lung. Work has been keeping him busy, and it's probably daunting because I've been shoving empty boxes into the study where the rower is to get them out of the entry way before Recycle Day; if he wants to work out in there, he'd have to break them down and take them out first to even get to the machine. I'm not getting mad or upset about the cost of the rower (more expensive than your Peloton) because that's a waste of energy that doesn't actually do anything to fix the problems. Being mad at my husband is counterproductive; HE IS ON MY TEAM AND I WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. His problems are our problems, just like his salary is our money, and the baby I gave him is our kid. If I'm frustrated with a lack of progress, I direct it at the problem keeping us from making progress, not at my husband or at my self, because then I might come up with a solution or a work-around or something new to try; if I'm just mad at my husband or myself for "being lazy" I won't be motivated to do anything! Beating yourself or your spouse up is not helpful!
Being upset takes energy that you could put to better use. I recommend taking better care of yourself, your wife, and your marriage instead.
I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…0 -
It’s nonstop with her. She complained she didn’t have a gym membership, so I got her one that she never uses. She complained going to the gym was uncomfortable, so I got her a Peloton that she doesn’t seem interest in. Now she complains that she doesn’t have a trainer and won’t let me get a trainer unless I get her one. $65 an hour times two is too much! She just wants to throw money at her “motivation” problem…
I don’t think this is an uncommon problem with people. I’ve heard that only 20% of gym members actually go to the gym. But it’s my problem because half the money she is wasting is mine…0 -
allother94 wrote: »I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
Hopefully she has more free time than just 20 minutes 2 times a week lol
First off, they are your feelings so they are already justified because that's how you're feeling. What you do with those feelings is up to you...
Your wife is not holding a gun to your head and making you buy these things for her (I hope)! Every expensive thing should be talked about before purchase and decided on whether or not it's a good idea or not. If you agreed and bought it, then it's not all on her. Should she be using it? Yes but you can also use it too.
I asked my husband for a treadmill. We discussed it. He said yes, so we bought it. He decided when there to buy himself a weight bench and weights. We set everything up at home. We worked out consistently for a couple weeks and then it got less and less. We get in little kicks of "ok we need to workout again" but we still don't use the workout equipment as much as we should.
It's definitely worth a sit down chat about with your wife and not random people on the internet. Ask her what her goals are and how you might be able to help her.
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Good grief, man. Get yourself the #%#% trainer if you want. Ask the trainer if he or she can sometimes do a session with your wife if she really wants one with no longer commitment and ask her to make her own arrangements if she decides to try it. Or ask your trainer about others who might be a better fit for your wife if she is interested.
If you folks have enough for a Peloton, you have enough for an occasional trainer session. But your wife needs to be the one to decide and to hire her own personal trainer if she wants to try it. It's fine if you want to help by collecting useful info for her, but then step aside and let her do it herself when she is really ready. But really step aside and stay neutral about whether or not she follows through.
Why were you the one buying the Peloton anyway if you're not interested in using it yourself? Maybe you need to stop giving "gifts" with strings attached. You might seriously check out a few marriage counseling sessions with a good counselor - from the way you talk, it really seems that this is not about the Peloton coat rack. You both have things to work out and communication issues, and a good mediator may help both of you. Better than getting frustrated over a piece of exercise equipment.6 -
Go_Deskercise wrote: »allother94 wrote: »I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
It's definitely worth a sit down chat about with your wife and not random people on the internet. Ask her what her goals are and how you might be able to help her.
Already done that. She doesn’t want my help; besides agreeing to buy things. Besides, there is nothing to it…. but to do it. I like talking with strangers on the internet because I get honest, unbiased answers…0 -
allother94 wrote: »Already done that. She doesn’t want my help; besides agreeing to buy things. Besides, there is nothing to it…. but to do it. I like talking with strangers on the internet because I get honest, unbiased answers…
Ok I get that, the internet can be a good tool sometimes. When talking to her, does she give you a clear goal of what she wants to accomplish and how she wants to accomplish it? Just because she WANTS something, doesn't means you HAVE to buy it for her. What's she going to do, through a fit? Let her lol Seems you have already bought her some good things for success so it sounds like another serious conversation about purchasing anything else needs to happen. Don't come at her from a place of what she's not doing, but what she needs or what you might be able to do to help her use what she already has before buying additional items/memberships etc..
From an outsiders perspective, you seem young and the marriage sounds relatively new. Compromise is a hell of a thing to learn in a marriage and money issues will always arise but you learn over time how to best deal with it.
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Good grief, man. Get yourself the #%#% trainer if you want. Ask the trainer if he or she can sometimes do a session with your wife if she really wants one with no longer commitment and ask her to make her own arrangements if she decides to try it. Or ask your trainer about others who might be a better fit for your wife if she is interested.
If you folks have enough for a Peloton, you have enough for an occasional trainer session. But your wife needs to be the one to decide and to hire her own personal trainer if she wants to try it. It's fine if you want to help by collecting useful info for her, but then step aside and let her do it herself when she is really ready. But really step aside and stay neutral about whether or not she follows through.
Why were you the one buying the Peloton anyway if you're not interested in using it yourself? Maybe you need to stop giving "gifts" with strings attached. You might seriously check out a few marriage counseling sessions with a good counselor - from the way you talk, it really seems that this is not about the Peloton coat rack. You both have things to work out and communication issues, and a good mediator may help both of you. Better than getting frustrated over a piece of exercise equipment.
Point taken. Probably should trade in the wife and keep the Peloton…0 -
allother94 wrote: »LaBellaHarris wrote: »SO GIVE HER TIME. Seriously. Stop being upset and problem solve. Oh, she can't work out because she needs to do the dishes? Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry! Team work makes the dream work, and all that.
It's easy to complain about stuff in a marriage. My husband got a rower, and we've only used it a couple of times so far. He's been having sinus problems and bad allergies; it's tough to be motivated to work out when you're sneezing and coughing up a lung. Work has been keeping him busy, and it's probably daunting because I've been shoving empty boxes into the study where the rower is to get them out of the entry way before Recycle Day; if he wants to work out in there, he'd have to break them down and take them out first to even get to the machine. I'm not getting mad or upset about the cost of the rower (more expensive than your Peloton) because that's a waste of energy that doesn't actually do anything to fix the problems. Being mad at my husband is counterproductive; HE IS ON MY TEAM AND I WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. His problems are our problems, just like his salary is our money, and the baby I gave him is our kid. If I'm frustrated with a lack of progress, I direct it at the problem keeping us from making progress, not at my husband or at my self, because then I might come up with a solution or a work-around or something new to try; if I'm just mad at my husband or myself for "being lazy" I won't be motivated to do anything! Beating yourself or your spouse up is not helpful!
Being upset takes energy that you could put to better use. I recommend taking better care of yourself, your wife, and your marriage instead.
I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
Ok, now I'm convinced this is a troll. Seriously, practicing a sport, and building new habits 2x 20minutes per week? Yeah, this has got to be a troll post.1 -
allother94 wrote: »LaBellaHarris wrote: »SO GIVE HER TIME. Seriously. Stop being upset and problem solve. Oh, she can't work out because she needs to do the dishes? Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry! Team work makes the dream work, and all that.
It's easy to complain about stuff in a marriage. My husband got a rower, and we've only used it a couple of times so far. He's been having sinus problems and bad allergies; it's tough to be motivated to work out when you're sneezing and coughing up a lung. Work has been keeping him busy, and it's probably daunting because I've been shoving empty boxes into the study where the rower is to get them out of the entry way before Recycle Day; if he wants to work out in there, he'd have to break them down and take them out first to even get to the machine. I'm not getting mad or upset about the cost of the rower (more expensive than your Peloton) because that's a waste of energy that doesn't actually do anything to fix the problems. Being mad at my husband is counterproductive; HE IS ON MY TEAM AND I WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. His problems are our problems, just like his salary is our money, and the baby I gave him is our kid. If I'm frustrated with a lack of progress, I direct it at the problem keeping us from making progress, not at my husband or at my self, because then I might come up with a solution or a work-around or something new to try; if I'm just mad at my husband or myself for "being lazy" I won't be motivated to do anything! Beating yourself or your spouse up is not helpful!
Being upset takes energy that you could put to better use. I recommend taking better care of yourself, your wife, and your marriage instead.
I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
Ok, now I'm convinced this is a troll. Seriously, practicing a sport, and building new habits 2x 20minutes per week? Yeah, this has got to be a troll post.
Doing 20 minutes of intense cardio twice a week is a good starting point for a beginner…0 -
Go_Deskercise wrote: »allother94 wrote: »Already done that. She doesn’t want my help; besides agreeing to buy things. Besides, there is nothing to it…. but to do it. I like talking with strangers on the internet because I get honest, unbiased answers…
Ok I get that, the internet can be a good tool sometimes. When talking to her, does she give you a clear goal of what she wants to accomplish and how she wants to accomplish it? Just because she WANTS something, doesn't means you HAVE to buy it for her. What's she going to do, through a fit? Let her lol Seems you have already bought her some good things for success so it sounds like another serious conversation about purchasing anything else needs to happen. Don't come at her from a place of what she's not doing, but what she needs or what you might be able to do to help her use what she already has before buying additional items/memberships etc..
From an outsiders perspective, you seem young and the marriage sounds relatively new. Compromise is a hell of a thing to learn in a marriage and money issues will always arise but you learn over time how to best deal with it.
She won’t set a goal for some reason. I think she buys into the marketing where the models make riding a Peloton look like riding an amusement park ride. And if she just spent $1500, she would be a happy model as well.
I’ll just chalk this one up to me being a good husband. However, no more wasted money…. Besides the ongoing Peloton and gym memberships…0 -
allother94 wrote: »I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
You are so quick to your own defense that you're accusing yourself of being things I haven't said. I don't think you're heartless, or selfish, or sexist. I think you're mad and upset that *you* can't fix your wife's motivation problem with an expense gift. I'm saying that I think you'll be happier if you shift your focus. I think your marriage will be better if you stop buying stuff that you're just going to be resentful over.
Do you even like your wife, dude? You're making a joke about trading her in and keeping the bike now. If your marriage sucks that much you got bigger and more expensive problems than a Peloton gathering dust and some unused gym membership.🫖2 -
Tim is this you? Just kidding, my husband isn't on here, but this could be his post. I got a Peleton for Christmas a few years ago. I used it for about 2 weeks then I didn't use it at all. I thought I wanted one. I love spin classes and riding my bike so it was natural that I would love this, right? What I found was that I suck at working out at home. I always feel like there is something I should be doing, and yes he helps with (even does most) of the housework. Plus I missed the social aspect of the gym and bike rides, it just didn't fill the needs I had. Should it have been better than nothing. Hell yes, but I was in a funk.
He was really frustrated with me and I was really frustrated with myself, because I got it right at the beginning of Covid and it was my only option for quite some time. I didn't take advantage of it, and my fitness suffered. Then this year I actually started riding it consistently, well until the weather turned nice. Now I'm outside.
Oh, and him asking if I wanted to ride it "while he did dishes", made me feel like he was being pushy. He wasn't, I was just mad at me for letting him and myself down.
One of the things that got me back on the Peleton was a fitness challenge based on yearly mileage. The other was him asking if he should just drop the subscription to the Peleton site. I really want to like it more than I do, but now I have finally accepted that sometimes it is the best option even though it isn't perfect.3 -
LaBellaHarris wrote: »allother94 wrote: »I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
You are so quick to your own defense that you're accusing yourself of being things I haven't said. I don't think you're heartless, or selfish, or sexist. I think you're mad and upset that *you* can't fix your wife's motivation problem with an expense gift. I'm saying that I think you'll be happier if you shift your focus. I think your marriage will be better if you stop buying stuff that you're just going to be resentful over.🫖
You said,[”Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry!“]. As if I was a selfish husband who let my wife do all the chores while I had plenty of free time…
Also, I’m not trying to fix my wife’s motivation problem by buying a bike. She was highly motivated to buy the bike. The motivation problem happened after the bike was purchased…
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allother94 wrote: »allother94 wrote: »LaBellaHarris wrote: »SO GIVE HER TIME. Seriously. Stop being upset and problem solve. Oh, she can't work out because she needs to do the dishes? Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry! Team work makes the dream work, and all that.
It's easy to complain about stuff in a marriage. My husband got a rower, and we've only used it a couple of times so far. He's been having sinus problems and bad allergies; it's tough to be motivated to work out when you're sneezing and coughing up a lung. Work has been keeping him busy, and it's probably daunting because I've been shoving empty boxes into the study where the rower is to get them out of the entry way before Recycle Day; if he wants to work out in there, he'd have to break them down and take them out first to even get to the machine. I'm not getting mad or upset about the cost of the rower (more expensive than your Peloton) because that's a waste of energy that doesn't actually do anything to fix the problems. Being mad at my husband is counterproductive; HE IS ON MY TEAM AND I WANT HIM TO SUCCEED. His problems are our problems, just like his salary is our money, and the baby I gave him is our kid. If I'm frustrated with a lack of progress, I direct it at the problem keeping us from making progress, not at my husband or at my self, because then I might come up with a solution or a work-around or something new to try; if I'm just mad at my husband or myself for "being lazy" I won't be motivated to do anything! Beating yourself or your spouse up is not helpful!
Being upset takes energy that you could put to better use. I recommend taking better care of yourself, your wife, and your marriage instead.
I do those things already. She has plenty of time to get on a Peloton for 20 minutes 2 times a week. I think this is more about finding an excuse to not exercise than having a heartless, selfish, sexist husband…
Ok, now I'm convinced this is a troll. Seriously, practicing a sport, and building new habits 2x 20minutes per week? Yeah, this has got to be a troll post.
Doing 20 minutes of intense cardio twice a week is a good starting point for a beginner…
Not really. If she's a total beginner she should not do intense exercise but ease into it, at a pace she's still able to talk in more or less coherent sentences and slowly build up endurance and duration. Endurance, and also speed is not build by going all out, but by the longer, slow sessions. Going all out might potentially lead to strain and injury if she's not used to it. Thus 20 minutes are up darling, get off the bike won't do it. Also, the training effect with just 2x per week will be very limited. 3x, with always at least a day off inbetween would be better. And yeah, one day, if she used the damn thing at least she might be able to keep it up for 2 hours or do intense workouts. But that's something she needs to be willing to invest in, without time restrictions. But I agree with others: Don't buy stuff for her, discuss your relationship and how to invest in work, and in money going into the future together.3 -
allother94 wrote: »You said,[”Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry!“]. As if I was a selfish husband who let my wife do all the chores while I had plenty of free time…
"Cowboy up" is a phrase much like "toughen up, buttercup" or "quit whining": where I'm at, it does not necessarily mean that you're not already a man (unlike the way the phrase "man up" might). I have no idea what your free time situation looks like, or what your chore distribution is; I was using an example of the two things that are never ending in my house. There are always dishes or another load of laundry that I could be doing in the evening.
Then what are you trying to do? She couldn't have been THAT motivated to buy the bike; you said that YOU bought it for her. Even if she used "your" money, that's different than if she bought it herself.Also, I’m not trying to fix my wife’s motivation problem by buying a bike. She was highly motivated to buy the bike. The motivation problem happened after the bike was purchased…
You started this thread by asking "Am I crazy for feeling upset by this?" when the real question is: "Does being upset help you in any way?" It doesn't sound like it makes you a better partner, and since this isn't the first time you've bought something she then hasn't used and been mad about it, it doesn't seem like you're using your past feelings to inform future decisions. Being upset is literally a waste of your time and energy, which are in fact as valuable or more valuable than your money. You keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result this time, and that is, at least in the opinion of this random unbiased stranger on the internet, kinda crazy.1 -
LaBellaHarris wrote: »allother94 wrote: »You said,[”Cowboy up like a truly sexy man and say, "Hey, babe, let me clean up dinner and do the dishes while you work out." Also works for laundry!“]. As if I was a selfish husband who let my wife do all the chores while I had plenty of free time…
"Cowboy up" is a phrase much like "toughen up, buttercup" or "quit whining": where I'm at, it does not necessarily mean that you're not already a man (unlike the way the phrase "man up" might). I have no idea what your free time situation looks like, or what your chore distribution is; I was using an example of the two things that are never ending in my house. There are always dishes or another load of laundry that I could be doing in the evening.
Then what are you trying to do? She couldn't have been THAT motivated to buy the bike; you said that YOU bought it for her. Even if she used "your" money, that's different than if she bought it herself.Also, I’m not trying to fix my wife’s motivation problem by buying a bike. She was highly motivated to buy the bike. The motivation problem happened after the bike was purchased…
You started this thread by asking "Am I crazy for feeling upset by this?" when the real question is: "Does being upset help you in any way?" It doesn't sound like it makes you a better partner, and since this isn't the first time you've bought something she then hasn't used and been mad about it, it doesn't seem like you're using your past feelings to inform future decisions. Being upset is literally a waste of your time and energy, which are in fact as valuable or more valuable than your money. You keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result this time, and that is, at least in the opinion of this random unbiased stranger on the internet, kinda crazy.
The bolded, that's the key point, IMO.
I saw a random video today. Basic message: "If someone promises me something, and I believe them, but they don't follow through, that's on them. If it happens a 2nd time with the same person, that's on me."
I admit, I'd give a spouse a bit more slack than some random other person, but it still doesn't make sense to me to be mad at them on round 2, 3, or 6 of the same (now predictable) thing. Personally, I probably wouldn't bother to be mad at myself either, because what useful purpose does it serve? (Epictetus, a dude who died in 135 AD, said a smart thing: "People are not disturbed by things, but by the views which they take of them.") Being angry/frustrated myself is a reaction I control.
OP, if you're having conflicts with your wife, deal with that head on. People tend to act out these deeper conflicts in little dramas about leaving the toothpaste cap off, or not sharing chores (neither of which I'm saying you're doing) . . . or one party buying exercise stuff and not using it, frustrating the other one.0
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