Eat like a thin person and what else?

When we stop wrestling with ourselves, we start coasting. Start coasting and we fall back into old patterns. Doing what we've always done gets us what we've always gotten... mostly nothin'.

It's human nature not to do what we believe in but do what's convenient. We are creatures of habit and true to our nature. We take our jobs seriously. We choose to show UP every day for a career. Choosing to show UP every day for ourselves requires wrestling, self-talk and taking inspiration wherever we can find it.

Take what you need from a bunch of different sources. Don't let anyone define you. Birdie Bites at the Buffet. Moderate the portions that work for you and don't compare yourself to the thin ladies as they belly UP to the buffet table. Talk to yourself as you go through the line. Let them wonder what your secrets are.

Math, diligence and time for reflection. Every NSV is a very real victory that is important to celebrate in your mind. A NSV victory sets you up for some positive mind chatter. Utilize it! For buffets, I personally stopped going to them as well. But, I know on the volume eaters thread, they like buffets for: naked veggies and fruits. They eat a ton of veggies and fruits they didn't have to slice up themselves. So it might be a more, eat this not that, situation. I like the volume eaters thread for when I felt really hungry on this journey, I would eat lots of veggies! Think of all the wonderful things you can say to yourself when you eat all the healthy things for your body, mind, and feeling better! I mean, it is the opposite of the black hole when you binge on low nutrition foods that are high in calories. Your thoughts keep going up! Notice it, encourage it, keep it going!

Diligence. This virtue is like a shark. The second you stop working against your inherent laziness, you sink. So I do talk to myself about it. I have some health issues. When I started this journey I didn't pick up walking until I had reached Onederland. I had previously planned to lift weights when I got to 160 from 277 (5'3" Female). Basically the plan was I no longer had to do my fitness walking, instead I would lift. When I got to 160, I sighed with relief (I walk 1-2 hours every day), started my three times a week of lifting to build muscle.. and my body and mind became very unhappy. I started really stressing out, got hives again. The mental chatter wasn't very happy for me, so I had to stop and reflect to what was going wrong. I realized that my plan may not be a good one. Which surprised me, until I really thought about it. I reflect now when things go wrong instead of eating while emotional.

The walking has a ton of "other" components that previously I did not comprehend. I did it to: burn calories to eat more food, cico math, because I. want. to. eat. more. But in reality, I saw my neighbors every day, walked the dog, contended with weather, watched so many sunrises, saw flowers bloom, had favorite trees I would smell, watch butterflies, bees and birds, wave to kids on their way to school, pray the rosary. When the shutdowns really got bad, and everyone was going crazy, I would just remind myself that the whole world may be going insane, but MY foot just needs to hit the trail and repeat, so weird it totally worked - I had NO hives during any of the shutdowns!! The only time I haven't really had any hives since 2003!! I mean, it became a whole thing. The dog now sits in what used to be my spot on the couch (with a 277 butt pattern), as evidently I prefer to get my steps in. I tend to have a TON of positive mental talks to myself when I move, lots and lots of positive reinforcement. I just didn't realize it.

So I can't be lazy and just work out 3 times a week with weights so that I can have muscle and therefore eat more food. I actually was pretty angry and disappointed about this! At first. Because I had taken the whole walking thing FOR GRANTED. Completely.

Now I am looking at: walking AND lifting weights. I know that once I have a pretty solid lifting program it won't seem like a burden at all. Who knows, I might even like it. Like what happened with the walking.

But I think, that nothing is easy about changing who you are every day. Especially, if you have to deal with emotions about it (and you will because most people don't like change). I know I have to "carry my cross", but I have to be open to the mental, emotional and sometimes physical pain.

I NEVER for one minute, thought that I would become one of those "fitness people", or an "athlete". I never knew how far I could walk (I know I can walk 12 miles, and probably more). I mean, I'm 48! I ain't 30 or 20! It is very strange how different I am now to how I used to be. I am very different to who I thought I would be as well. I evidently had some back of the mind program habit of "eat, sit on couch" repeat in my future!! I don't even know when that happened!! But to stop the eat, sit, grow old like that, I had to change my habits. Sorry this is long, but when you talk psychological stuff, I mean.. that is what you will get!

GoRun2 wrote: »

We all know weight loss is more than eat less. There is a psychological component to it.

I'm trying to eat like a thin person when at happy hours, pot lucks and buffets. Those are some of my challenges. I'm going to look around at the thin ladies to see what they eat and do that.

What do you do to help you keep your head in the game?

In general:

Realistically, I'm not going to have my head in the game for the whole rest of my natural life, which I hope will be measured in decades, even though I'm already old (66). Life gets complicated, busy, stressful, distracting sometimes. Plus eating/activity/bodyweight isn't the only important game (there's family, finances, most have career, home chores/improvements, more).

To me, that puts a premium of using my limited attention span and will power, when I have the bandwidth/energy, to experiment, find new/better habits that are relatively pleasant (at least tolerable), then practice them until they're pretty automatic. After that, autopilot can mostly take over when other parts of life get demanding.

Happy hours, buffets and potlucks specifically? Yeah, those are severe temptations for an ingrained hedonist (with FOMO) like me.

Happy hours, I usually have to drive, and that limits my drinking to a couple of drinks. If I'm going to eat, I usually plan to make that one of my meals for the day, and do what I usually do with restaurant meals: Look at the menu in advance, decide what I'm going to eat (nutritious, tasty, filling), order that, eat it, stop. (Sure, if someone asks if I want to try a bite of their whatever, I might do that - but probably just one.)

I generally don't go to all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants any more, unless someone holds an important-to-me event (like a close friend's birthday party) at one. That happens in my social life so rarely - probably once a year or less? - that I literally don't worry about it. Eat lightly earlier in the day, maybe eat slightly less the next day if still full, sometimes the extra food amps up the next day's workout energy . . . it works out.

Potlucks are more frequent, though not super much so, maybe up to once a month-ish, tops, for me?. While I was losing weight, I experimented with various approaches. None of them worked. Sure, I'll still do the "eat lightly before, maybe after if not hungry, etc." stuff. Maybe also try to recruit some of the potluck people to go for a walk or something, if the circumstances are good for that. I do usually try to make and take something myself that others will enjoy, but that I personally find filling, nutritious, and/or relatively low calorie.

These days (year 6, nearly 7, of maintenance), I mostly just go to the potluck, eat all the things I want to eat, occasionally until I'm stupid-full. I've learned that even on a really big full day (not just one meal), I tend to max out at somewhere around 2-3 times my TDEE. In theory, that could add up to a pound of gain, but experience suggests it usually doesn't, as long as I don't do it often. (Oversimplifying: Bodies like homeostasis.) If it does result in an observable gain, or if my weight starts to creep up a little across multiple events, I have to creep it back down again. I know how to do that, so it's NBD, really.

A saving grace is that at some potlucks, a lot of people these days bring grocery store or takeout foods that aren't very tempting to me. Those are easy to moderate. Other potlucks, with lots of yummy homemade goodies? I'm eating them, maybe more than one serving as long as there's plenty for all. And not beating myself up about it, either, or trying to make up for it. I'm not saying that's what other people should do, but it's working OK for me, at the frequency these things actually happen in my life. The majority of our days determines the majority of our outcomes, y'know?

So, take this as - perhaps - a sort of warning. If you met me now - judging from my interactions with many people who meet me now and are stunned to learn I was ever obese - you'd think I was a thin lady. (I'm 5'5", 120s pounds mostly.)

If you watched me at a potluck, thought I was a thin lady, did what I do, you'd eat all the things. Maybe you wouldn't want to do that - sounds like not. Me, I'm OK with it so far. 🤷‍♀️

GoRun2 wrote: »

I'm trying to eat like a thin person when at happy hours, pot lucks and buffets. Those are some of my challenges. I'm going to look around at the thin ladies to see what they eat and do that.

Thin isn’t necessarily healthier. Thinner is just thinner.

I have a good friend who is thinner than I am. She eats like a proverbial horse. And her diet is stereotypical southern - high in animal fats and salt. But her metabolism runs high and she is very thin. She also has myriad health problems, some, but not all, diet and exercise related. She has no strength, because she does nothing to build strength. She can’t get herself up early because she is up too late at night drinking too much. She takes a laundry list of medications for cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. But she is THIN.

If I followed her lead, I wouldn’t be able to do the things I do. I take no meds, other than vitamins. I weigh more than Diane, but I’m a heck of a lot healthier than she is. I have more stamina. I look 10 years younger, because I’m fit. She calls me to help her with things she can’t do for herself.

I don’t want to follow her example. Do I want to lose 10 more pounds? Yes. But I want to be healthy. Thin does not = healthy. They are not mutually exclusive, but they are not the same thing.