Why does my husband continually push food on me?

It took my sister years to finally stop asking me or pushing stuff onto me, cause she finally heard me say 'no thanks' often enough. Dh can be guilty of it at times. He'll just automatically pick up something for me, that he knows I like. It's nice of him but if it wasn't something I was planning on indulging in, it can cause me to wreck my whole day of calorie counting because I have a helluva time with temptation even being in the house. It's not in my make-up to wait and have it another day.

I'd have 'the talk' with him and tell him how much you 'appreciate the thought but please no, thank you, honor my wishes, don't feel guilty about enjoying one without me, I truly don't want one but thanks!' Anything that works, while thanking him for offering. If he feels offensive about it, that's entirely on him.

Some people just show affection by feeding you or getting you things that they enjoy. They mean well. It's lovely that he cares.
But I understand, it is not what you need to support your diet. Just thank him for the offer and suggest something else (something small or convenient) he can bring back for you instead. Maybe it just makes him happy getting you something.

I have a friend who does this too when he comes over, and even when I say I don't need or want anything, he still brings over wine and food. So I just tell him what I'd prefer instead (salmon, pineapples, healthy snacks or avocados) and we don't have to eat the same things.

@ahoy_m8 That's really sweet though. My mum is exactly the same, my friends used to love staying because of the food.
Now I'm all grown up and she still shows her affection with food when I'm there. I kindly thank her but remind her I'm not as skinny and lucky as her and now the weight is catching up, so as much as I love all the food but I need to portion control. I just take the extras for another day 😁

So I would ask for a shaken espresso (soy, 2 pumps sweetener is 100 cal-unless you do no cal sweetener) or an americano. Then you’ve asked him to get you something and you are in control of what is brought home to you #beatthesystem. Manipulate him back lol
But really-other advice here you got is great but this wasn’t mentioned as specifically.

I'm not having much success with these Assertive Communication techniques with certain family members, but I think it's due to cognitive deficiencies on their part, not with the technique.

4 TECHNIQUES OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

1. Assertive messages
* improve your ability to get your message across to the other person

Assertive messages are made up of 3 parts:
1) a description of the behavior that you would like the person to change
2) a statement about how their behavior makes you feel
3) a brief description of a specific effect their behavior has on something important to you

Example:
1) Behavior: When you don't clean the counter.....
2) Feelings: I feel very annoyed........
3) Effect (tangible): because it makes more work for me.

2. Reflective Listening
* make people feel that you understood their message, de-escalates their anger

Reflective listening is a simple and effective way to make people feel that you understood their message – when people feel heard and understood, they are less likely to escalate their anger. It does not require that you agree with everything they said, it only requires that you listen and repeat back to them the essence of what they are trying to say.

Example:

Other person: I've told you how important this is to me and yet you continue to do it.

Reflective Listening: So you feel that I don't care and that your feelings aren't important to me?

3. Broken Record Technique
* improve your ability to get your message across in situations when you depend on someone to respond to you in a positive way
*
An assertiveness skill that requires repetition of your need or question until your point is acknowledged or you are given help to get your needs met elsewhere. Limit your responding to your immediate goal. Continue stating your goal/need until it is acknowledged.

Example: It's too expensive...I know it's a good value, but it's too expensive...I know about finance deals, but it's too expensive.

4. “Sandwich” Technique
* de-escalates or prevents the other person’s anger and increases likelihood your point will be heard

Requires “sandwiching” your request or suggestion in between two statements that are designed to lower the defenses of the listener. Begin with a positive or sympathetic statement, state concern or request, end with another positive statement.

Example:

Positive Statement: I have always considered you to be one of my best friends.

Concern: So when I heard that you were talking behind my back, I felt really hurt. What I need is
for you to talk to me directly and not get others involved.

Positive Statement: You have always been there for me in the past and I know I can still count on you.

Sometimes I think people don’t like change in others. They may feel threatened because they see your progress and are afraid you are “getting down to fighting weight”, or in other words, preparing to leave them.

If it were me, I would say thank you and not eat it. If he buys you more, I would say “thank you but I’ve not gotten through the last bag of granola (or whatever) yet.”

My son gave me a huge bag of some type of fancy candy with my Mother’s Day gift. I did say thank you. I do appreciate he thought of me but I am not interested in candy anymore so later I passed it on to my husband who manages his weight effortlessly.

I don’t feel guilt that I’m required to eat something someone else bought for me. I say “ thank you, I might have some for a snack (or tomorrow, whatever…)” and let it go at that. Maybe I will. 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it will go out in the trash or gift it to someone else…