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Lost 90lbs, 120lbs, then 150lbs....now fatter than ever! Is there really hope for those over 400lbs?
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ChefMader
Posts: 5 Member
in Debate Club
I've lost 90lbs, 120lbs, then 150lbs (+many +/- 30lbs, 40lbs) - all with diet and exercise over the years. (I'm 48 years old). Now I'm fatter than I've ever been in my life.
Now I'm pushing 50 years old, and just recently diagnosed with heart ischemia. Ive been back at it, knowing this might be my very last attempt and I have to succeed over the long-term bcuz my life depends on it.
I'm doing the KETO diet because I've never tried it before and I heard it helps with hunger - and I lost about 5lbs the first week. Then...my weight is stalling already....and creeping up a pound even though I'm not cheating on it.
I watch my 600lb life and can identify with those people. I'm always always hungry. There is never a time I"m not hungry - even just after eating. I wonder if some people are just physiologically Buildt different.
THE DEBATE:
Is there really hope for long-term weight loss for those of us over 400lbs without weight loss surgery? No matter how many times I do it, I always gain it back and then a little more.
Now I'm pushing 50 years old, and just recently diagnosed with heart ischemia. Ive been back at it, knowing this might be my very last attempt and I have to succeed over the long-term bcuz my life depends on it.
I'm doing the KETO diet because I've never tried it before and I heard it helps with hunger - and I lost about 5lbs the first week. Then...my weight is stalling already....and creeping up a pound even though I'm not cheating on it.
I watch my 600lb life and can identify with those people. I'm always always hungry. There is never a time I"m not hungry - even just after eating. I wonder if some people are just physiologically Buildt different.
THE DEBATE:
Is there really hope for long-term weight loss for those of us over 400lbs without weight loss surgery? No matter how many times I do it, I always gain it back and then a little more.
8
Replies
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Here are some immediate thoughts I have for you. Yes, losing weight (and more importantly, maintaining that loss!) is critically important. And yes, I have seen people with morbid, long-term obesity maintain weight loss. Here are some things to think about:
1. You say you are doing keto right now. Have you always done "fad" diets like that? For most people, they can work in the short-term, but they are never going to show you how to have a healthy relationship with food that helps you manage your hunger appropriately.
2. Feeling "hungry" can be a lot of different things. Are you really thirsty? How are you emotions? Are you bored, frustrated, sad, etc? Is your hunger a habit, i.e. every time your stomach feels a little empty, you think it means that you are very hungry? Have you ever learned how to distinguish "real" hunger?
3. Have you looked into medical reasons? Are there thyroid issues at play (lots of people have undiagnosed thyroid issues that just barely meet "normal" thresholds on standard tests). How are you hormones? As a woman, our hormones do so much in our fullness cues among many other weird things.
It's frustrating to feel like you've always been heavy, you'll always be heavy. It doesn't have to be that way, but it often times takes some real digging to get the root of why you can't maintain a weight loss. Best of luck to you!16 -
I think the predominant issue is with seeing yourself as being on a diet as opposed to a new way of life. Effectively once your loss is achieved you return to a prior way of eating instead of eating in the reduced manner that lost the weight. It’s what a lot of people do and results in the constant loss and gain effect.
I do believe permanent loss is achievable but only if the change in mindset also occurs15 -
ChefMader, sure there is hope. At 65, and morbidly obese, I finally realized I was just not able to eat most carbohydrates. Low glycemic index or low glycemic load carbs are only slightly better. I'd eat because it was time to eat, even though I wasn't hungry sometimes, but a normal meal for an American (with plenty of carbs) would find me starving right after I ate. Sometimes for hours. So I would eat more until I was sated or snack here and there until the next meal. Seemed I was always hungry and sleepy right after eating. Most people never experience that overpowering craving to fill that need and think people like you and me just lack willpower.
After cutting my carb intake drastically for only a couple of months, I began to sense (what I think) jdsass82 mentioned in #2 of her things to think about. What I had thought was hunger after a meal was really carb cravings. I don't know if that is because I have metabolic syndrome, or insulin resistance, or leptin resistance, hypothyroid or something else. My doctor, who I see regularly, just kept prescribing hypertension meds telling me to exercise more and eat less. All I know is that by staying away from sugars, most breads, potatoes, grains and almost all fruits I no longer experience that "need to eat NOW" sensation that I had no control over. The times I sense hunger now don't really seem to be much of a hunger and is much, much easier to just ignore until the next feeding. YMMV
I don't think I will ever be able to go back to many of the foods that were once foundations of my diet. The trade off is worth it for me. I've read that carb sensitivity can be reduced over time. I've tried reintroducing things like bananas and oatmeal (steel cut) with a handful of blue berries back into my diet, but they still bring back those cravings. You'll just need to try different foods to see what your system works with the best. True Keto is very strict. Logging macros and making sure you get enough of the right micronutrients are a must do. Every day. Every meal. Moderate increase in movement pays off big time. I don't want to doomsday you, but you are approaching that part of your life where the weight you have always been able to support is going to be too much for your body and you will lose the mobility you need to stay healthy. Please don't think you can "work off weight". Increased movement will keep your basal metabolic rate up and light lifting will help to maintain muscle mass.
Good luck and health to you.11 -
Interesting that you put your personal story up for debate.
“Diet and exercise” and fad diets didn’t work for me, either. Sustainable weight loss didn’t come until I worked on a mindset shift and started with a habit-based focus. I learned how to maintain my weight, first and foremost, and how to stop regaining. Lose 30 pounds in a year, go into maintenance for a month or two or six, then lose again. Stop the regain part of the cycle. The podcast “HalfSize Me” really spells it out best.
Yes, some of us are “built” physiologically different and become morbidly obese. Yes, there are non-surgical ways to approach it. Yes, surgery is one tool available, but it isn’t a fix-all, either.5 -
@ChefMader
All of those days and months of hard work are still there. Standing. Counting.
Every day that you add, consecutive or single days, minutes...matter. You just need to go back and recapture yourself. It's not about being perfect but changing habits little by little. Every time you met an emotional/mental and physical goal of not letting food control your life...you were sliding into a better quality of life and health.
Don't hesitate. Get right back in the groove. If you kept a diary or journal, go back and pick up that momentum and inspiration. When you were moderating your portions, you must have felt a personal high from that peace of mind. A high from your success.
You choose. You decide. You can pick that momentum right back UP. Close your eyes and remember how you felt after 150 lbs were gone. Really imagine it. You've been on food jag. Ahhh, what the heck, I am going to eat it all state of mind. Now, you're going to tighten your portions up and rein it all back in. You can put an end to these curve balls and reaching out to others is a good first step.5 -
@ChefMader
Yes, I believe there is hope. I believe because here I am at 68 years old and at it for the 4th time, just like you.
But I have taken accountability, I was the reason I gained it all back 3 times over. I am the one that put the food in my mouth. I am the one that chose high fat, high calorie, fried and huge servings of food to eat. I am the one that chose food instead of water when I thought I was hungry. I am the one that stuffed myself to the point of being uncomfortable.
I am also the person who gives me hope - I have learned from my mistakes, albeit it took 4 tries. I am the person that didn't give up, just went off the rails for awhile. After 3 months back on track, I'm eating healthy, drinking lots of water and my stomach has shrunk so that it is hard to overeat.
Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. Seek help, like you did here. There is plenty of good advice in the replies.9 -
Try the Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet but a way to change your thinking.7
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I started at 388 and the thought of having surgery crossed my mind. I actually made an appointment with my Doctor which turned into just me getting my shingles shot because I decided that I can do this! I'm currently down 48 pounds since Feb.24. Trying to lose another 90 and I know I can and will do it!13
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I just hit 50 pounds today. Yeah baby!!!11
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Yes. And I believe you have finally hit upon the best way for you with going keto. Just do it the right way. I am going to get a lot of push back here but I am old and do not care about the hive mind...
Eat keto. Try your very best to eat as close to paleo with it as you can. Just... eat healthy foods. Do not sweat the calories, macros etc right now. You have plenty of weight to lose and just developing good eating habits is way more important right now than weighing and measuring stuff. Eat only foods that are good for you.
There is a lot of evidence that for people with a lot of weight to lose any sort of aggressive calorie restriction leads to short term success and long term failure. What's worse is that with each cycle the restriction has to be more aggressive to attain the same results. Break that cycle by just eating healthy foods.
Move as much as you can. I am not going to sit here and tell you to watch some YouTube channel or that you have to do this exact program. Just move as much as you can. You know your body and realistically you may not be in a place where jumping into an actual workout program is the right decision. But moving always is. Walk. Park at the end of the parking lot when you go somewhere and walk to the door. Take the stairs when you can. Just every little thing. It is not about how many calories you burn walking from the furthest away parking space. It is about developing the habit of movement. It is about changing your thought process on things like simply walking into the store. First you make a point of parking at the far end of the lot. Then you just park wherever because it no longer matters where you park. Just like the food. Eat healthy foods. At some point, a hundred or maybe two hundred pounds from now, you start to think about weighing and measuring. For now just develop the habit of healthy foods. Eating too much roasted chicken or too much asparagus is not going to make you gain fat. Just.... only eat things that are good for you.
Stay out of the keto and paleo groups. Just avoid them. They all start with good intentions and end up plagued by idiots with ever evolving purity tests. "You're not really keto if you eat X" "You're not really keto unless you pee on this strip of paper and it turns blue" No thank you. Do not think in tribal terms. This is about you, ok? It is not about some chuckle head on the internet who thinks you need to rise to their definition of whatever. Given the situation you laid out in your original post, this is not about a program or a diet. Not right now. Right now it has to be about just forming habits.9 -
Can you lose weight when you're very heavy? Unfortunately the odds are not in your favour. This link gives real world data on who is losing weight https://www.healthline.com/health-news/obese-people-have-slim-chance-of-obtaining-normal-body-weight-071615#A-Call-for-a-Better-Weight-Loss-Approach
I see this not so much as a weight loss problem but rather a "I have a major problem in my life, can I fix it?" type of issue. Typically, the answer is "only if you want to fix it hard enough".
There are lots of little things you can do which can reduce food's effect on you. Here's 3 I can think of but there's 30 or so:
Stop eating sugary food
There are at least 8 (I made a list a while back) types of hunger signals, when you are feeling hungry, try to identify which of those 8 you are feeling - for example there's a difference between appetite and hunger. Eat a meal and walk into a supermarket, you're probably feeling appetite signals rather than hunger.
When at home, make food unavailable visually. This is one of my issues. If I see food, I often want to eat it. Not visible? I don't want to eat it.0 -
Eating too much roasted chicken or too much asparagus is not going to make you gain fat. Just.... only eat things that are good for you.
My only quibble. You can, in fact, gain by overeating healthy food. It may be more difficult but it's possible.13 -
Is there hope?
Yes.
Are you likely to succeed?
No.
Is Atkins the answer?
You tell me, are you loving this new way of eating, and can you keep it up forever?
If the answer is yes, then yes, it is the answer. If not, then no, it isn't.
You need to find a way of eating you can stand, and you can stick to. Even then, you will probably slip into bad habits and start overeating again. (You like eating this way, or you wouldn't want be in this position to start with. ) The trick is to start dieting again when you regain 5-10 lbs. Not waiting until you regain 90.
I gained, lost, and regained 50-80 lbs 6 times before I accepted I was going to have to remain ever vigilant. I went back on the diet when I regained 10 lbs. I'm so glad I did. I only undid a quarter of my hard work instead of all of it.9 -
There's always hope. But habitual behavior is what will dictate whether you lose and/or regain. So many heavy people revert back to old habits after a little success believing they deserve it. But here to tell you that your health doesn't negotiate. If you don't change, your body will let you down.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I know how you feel. Been there, done that. Lost plenty weight on a diet then went back to eating "normally"
Like me, I think that you need a program to change your way of life, rather than serial dieting. I am currently 30 pounds down using Noom and I can honestly say for the first time in my life I understand why I have failed to maintain weight loss in the past. This time the weight will stay off when I reach target. I understand that I will have to keep monitoring AFTER I reach my goal weight. I now understand that my "normal" way of eating was the problem and I have to put it behind me permanently.
Noom is not just a diet, it is a psychology program to understand why you eat in the way that you do and how to change it.
Even before I reach my goal, I am planning a maintenance program to keep it off!4 -
Not sure what you are really after here. I have been where you are (at 300 pounds at one point) and have lost, gained, lost, gained......and so on. I have tried Adkins, Keto and other fad plans/diets. My opinion, they are all garbage. They are not sustainable. What it came down to for me was just owning it and taking the responsibility without excuses. Eat good foods (cut out excessive sugar and empty carbohydrates) and like another person posted, move as much as you can every time you can. Stay with it and it will work. Don't get depressed or seek validation from other people. Stop playing games, just own it and do what you need to do.9
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Of course there is hope but you have to change the way you think about it. I am just like you with the loss. I lose then gain it back with a few more and then look at it as a chore to have to get it back down again.
I met a woman who honestly changed my perspective about literally everything I was doing in my life. She taught me breathing techniques, how to meditate MY way no matter where I was and to practice self love and self care. I'm here again for probably the 5th time in the last ten years after using surgery on my Achilles as an excuse to just stop trying. I finally did reach out for help from a weight loss clinic.
With your heart issues you will not be a candidate for things like phentermine (frankly I said no anyway) and trying something new called glp-1.
Really it is about finding what works for you and making the commitment to do better for yourself. It's so much easier to give up but I can tell by your post it's not what you want. Go in with the right perspective and you will come out with the result. Just don't give up or make excuses for your poor choices. Own it.2 -
I come from a family with weight issues. My 3 sisters all weighed over 300 lbs. My 4 brothers struggle(d) with weight, but not to that extent and several of their children have weight issues. I have weighed as much as 187 and have to be very vigilant to keep from gaining weight. One thing I have noticed in my sisters is "mindless eating". They will sit in conversation and just mindlessly eat whatever is in front of them. Awareness is so important. Analyze your eating habits. What can you do differently? Are you drinking enough water? You need to know what you are doing, to make changes that will benefit you.
We all (my family) seem to be very carb sensitive. The only way I can stay at a proper weight is to severely limit starchy carbs. They just seem to make me hungrier.
As others have said, with a substantial amount of weight to lose, just start becoming aware of hunger vs desire. If you graze all day, start by eating set meals and snacks. Every time you eat, your insulin levels increase and your body burns the food for energy rather than stored fat. Eventually, start eliminating snacks and go to 3 meals a day, and further on consider going to 2 meals a day. I do intermittent fasting eating my 1st meal around 11 AM and second meal finished by 7PM, trying not to eat in between. This is what works for me.
As for what to eat, for anyone carb sensitive, you have to cut back on those starchy carbs right out of the gate. Eliminate sweets completely. (It gets easier after a few days!) Down the road you may be able to eat some low sugar fruits like raspberries, blackberries, but for now they'll trigger hunger.
And most importantly check with your doctor. Possibly your GYN, especially if she is a woman. They seem to be more sympathetic to our weight issues in general.
Don't think of it as a diet. Something you are on and will someday be "off". Best of luck to you!1 -
Mindless eating can be an issue for a lot of people, I agree. sitting in front of TV snacking without noticing how much, that sort of thing.
So I agree the awareness and analysing your eating habits advice is good for all of us.
But it isnt universal good advice to eat only 3 or 2 meals per day nor to cut out sweets completely.
that isn't a hunger trigger nor a good strategy for all of us.5
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