Dating While Big...

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ama2414
ama2414 Posts: 24
in Chit-Chat
Hey everyone-

Just having a woe is me moment- but why is it that dating while large is so difficult? I'm am an awesome person (if I do say so myself, lol), have a great sense of humor, am nice to everyone I come into contact with, I'm just genuinely nice. You think that would translate to the men around me, but no. I know it's because I'm big, but why is it that it's okay for an overweight man to be with a smaller girl, but not vice versa?? I've been looking for a date to a friend's wedding for about a month, & have come up empty. Do guys think that just because a girl is big, that she doesn't take care of herself? If so, that's completely absurd. Just venting...Have a nice night everyone!
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  • maryd523
    maryd523 Posts: 661 Member
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    Unfortunately in our society, a woman is valued more for her looks than almost anything else. Men are valued for other things, not so much looks. That's just the way it is. However, you can definitely meet a great guy if you find situations where you have a chance to get to know each other in a casual way.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    Hey everyone-

    Just having a woe is me moment- but why is it that dating while large is so difficult? I'm am an awesome person (if I do say so myself, lol), have a great sense of humor, am nice to everyone I come into contact with, I'm just genuinely nice. You think that would translate to the men around me, but no. I know it's because I'm big, but why is it that it's okay for an overweight man to be with a smaller girl, but not vice versa?? I've been looking for a date to a friend's wedding for about a month, & have come up empty. Do guys think that just because a girl is big, that she doesn't take care of herself? If so, that's completely absurd. Just venting...Have a nice night everyone!

    i used to think that way until i became super best friends with this former italian model. she had SO MANY man problems that i realized it really didn't matter if one is big or small, pretty or unattractive or anything in between. people have problems dating no matter what.

    hope that helps!
  • dyiaane
    dyiaane Posts: 271 Member
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    Hang in there. I have plenty of friends who are within their normal weight range and can't find a guy. So maybe thats not it. Keep on working at it.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    Unfortunately in our society, a woman is valued more for her looks than almost anything else. Men are valued for other things, not so much looks. That's just the way it is. However, you can definitely meet a great guy if you find situations where you have a chance to get to know each other in a casual way.

    i think that's only true if you believe it. :) the world is what we make it in our minds.
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
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    Dating is hard big or small. Being skinny doesn't mean guys are going to line up around the block.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    I never had a problem getting a boyfriend because I wasn't going for the kind of jerk who will only date someone for their looks. ;)
  • kissiefish
    kissiefish Posts: 55
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    Don't give up! I swore I would not try to lose weight until I was married (stupid idea, btw) so that a man would love me for ME not my body. Well, I am happily married for 12 years now to a great guy. He loves me because I'm just like his mom! LOL.....

    The right guy is out there. Stop looking for him,start living, and I guarantee he will find YOU. Don't hide yourself. Go to the wedding with a girl friend and have a good time. Weddings are GREAT places to meet single guys...just so you know.

    Don't hide your light under a bushel girl...let it shine!!!!
  • Wi11ie
    Wi11ie Posts: 5 Member
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    Hey Ama. Like Mary mentioned in her reply.....it's society. But, never let that get you down (easier said han done, huh?). Let people continue to get to know you inside and out. Besides, if you have a lot to offer, someone will wanna take it (Trust Me)! Never give up or feel bad. We can work on it together! -w
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Men like confidence. Be more confident.
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
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    I've always dated girls "bigger" than myself. Never was a fan of abs on a girl......
    there are plenty of good guys out there, just got to find them!
  • MicMar66
    MicMar66 Posts: 186 Member
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    The right man is out there for you and when it is time for you to meet him-you will. Simple as that. It stinks waiting but it is something you have to do.
    When I was in my 20's I was a size 6 (I am 5'10"-so that means I was really thin). I had no trouble finding a guy to go on a date with but I did have trouble finding a guy I wanted to go on a SECOND date with. It wasn't until I was 28 that I met my husband. We have been together for 13 years-married almost 7.
    He was totally worth waiting for.
    You may be ready to meet the man of your dreams, but you have to wait for him to be ready too.
    I will definitely keep you in my thoughts!

    p.s. I think you are wonderful too!
  • mrskaylaforthewin
    mrskaylaforthewin Posts: 24
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    tbh there are websites for men who like big women and want to pursue relationships with them..get on there and find you a date girl!! when i got married i was a size 7 now im a 14>.< i got lucky i guess lol
  • MissMaryMac33
    MissMaryMac33 Posts: 1,433 Member
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    Psst... losing weight doesn't make it any easier -- trust me! I thought for sure it would be magic :)
    I meet just an many jerks if not more now! The difference is, I'm a lot happier being single and feeling good than being single and feeling like a fat whale :)
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    Men like confidence. Be more confident.

    exactly this.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    i am with you on this one personally, but it's weird - all of my friends are big and they have had boyfriends, etc - so i don't know what to tell you. The only difference between me and them is that they might have prettier faces and know how to dress better.
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
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    Psst... losing weight doesn't make it any easier -- trust me! I thought for sure it would be magic :)
    I meet just an many jerks if not more now! The difference is, I'm a lot happier being single and feeling good than being single and feeling like a fat whale :)

    Agree. I too thought it would help. Not a bit. But it is nice to know you have something even when you're alone, then to be alone thinking you have nothing!
  • ama2414
    ama2414 Posts: 24
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    Thanks everyone! You guys truly are awesome! I'm going to get my confidence level up- because I know I'm awesome, and continue working on myself! Hopefully the pieces eventually fall into place!
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
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    Skinny or fat, I think everyone has problems finding a good man :)
  • treehugginpam
    treehugginpam Posts: 1,131 Member
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    I hear ya; dating while big is HARD. I think that dating at any size is hard though, because it's just not easy finding someone right for you. Hang in there though, it can happen! I am a big girl (getting smaller!) and I have been with the most amazing man for the last 2 years who is sweet, wonderful, perfect for me, and, as far as I'm concerned, pretty much the hottest guy on the planet. :smile: Sometimes it just takes awhile to find the right one!
  • miss_amy
    miss_amy Posts: 351
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    i have to say i kind of agree with everyone in this thread. i still have days where i'm like you, and believe guys only date skinny girls. but then i have days where i say to myself "you know what? i don't want to date anyone that doesn't want to date me!" and i focus on my own internal happiness. for me, i know my problem in the past has been that i haven't put myself out there enough. i really do believe that many guys are attracted to confidence and i think that many bigger girls (including myself) lack that confidence because of society pressures and thus can't find dates.

    my personal advice is to focus on making yourself happy first. at least that's what i'm doing myself! if a guy doesn't want to date you, it's their loss, not yours! but believe me, girl, i can relate to your way of thinking.

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