Not typical Look at my picture before and after

jlhflex Posts: 105 Member


My success story is a little bit different than the typical... Thats not to make anyone else's story feel less than but its a lot!

This is my story. I'm 43 years old, I started weight training when I was 11 years old at the same time I was introduced to martial arts. Both kind of went hand in hand. Also out of every school sport are activities that children done at that age I found weight training and martial arts to be very fulfilling for me. I was really good at it, which kept me doing it. Let me add that I was physically abused by my father from the time I could remember up until I was 9 years old, until my mother packed my brothers and I up in the middle of the night and left my father while he slept. From 9 until I was about 13, I was sexually abused by close family member. I add this bc I was a very insecure and emotional child.. I had a lot of emotional issues that no one was able to understand. So bodybuilding in martial arts gave me purpose. I spent my teenage years up until I was about 25 competitive bodybuilding and teaching martial arts. At this time, is when my life started to unravel. I got married and had a child. It was one of those situations where I thought getting married was doing the right thing. It wasnt. My wife cheated on me in every single opportunity that she could. I would work every single day to try to provide for my daughter and wife. At the same time that happened, I lost my grandmother, a year and a half later I lost my middle brother that I was very close to, another year and a half later I lost my stepfather who I was also very close to. Prior to losing my family members, I had lost my childhood best friend to a car accident. Around the time that my father passed away of cancer, my wife up and left me for a guy she had been seeing for at least a year. everything compiled together I just did not understand how to manage it all. I wasn't an abusive person. I tried to do everything I possibly could to be a great guy, loving, caring and hard-working for my family. After she left and after my mg father passed, I injured myself at work. the occupational doctor gave me two full prescriptions of opioids. the moment I put them in my mouth and got the first numbing sensation that was it... I felt like I found something that numbed my brain and my body. I ended up over the next several years getting really addicted along with my then new fiance. we were codependents on each other and fed each other these drugs. our lives started to unravel again, financially, emotionally and physically. one day I came home from work and found that my entire house was completely empty. At first I thought I had been robbed so I immediately called my then fiance.. she wouldn't answer so after several attempts to call her I go up to her school where she was staying to be a nurse. soon as I walk into the school I was met by a security guard that pulled me aside and held me until the police showed up.. now mind you I didn't call the scene or disturbance I didn't even know what was going on because I wasn't able to reach my fiance after finding my home completely vandalize and empty. I then found out that my fiance had been also cheating on me with a guy in her class she also let addiction ruin her. she was failing and needed money so she cleaned my house out selling pretty much everything I've ever owned her ball including my daughter's toys and bedroom furniture. Afterwards she then went and got a restraining order out on me but it was not valid because no one ever served me the order so I had no idea existed. The police arrested me anyway threw me in jail, none of my remaining family, mother helped our assisted me getting out.. When I went to court finally the judge dismissed the restraining order due to same reason I said before about me never being served. So basically I was falsely arrested and in prisoned. When I got out I had no home, job, vehicle... My daughter was then living with her mother. I literally had no one or anything left. So I tried to commit suicide with bottle of Klonopins I found. from that moment on I was taken to the hospital where I ended up over the next year in and out of treatment facilities and drug rehab. Up until that point I did not realize I had a drug problem. at one point during my treatment I left the facility and end up living homeless on the streets, sleeping in graveyards and back alleys.. I tried to reach out to former friends and family but every single person turned away. one night I fell asleep in an alleyway next to a staircase. I woke to a lady trying to bring me into their facility which ended up being a another drug treatment facility. this time I went with it and accepted the help. After about 6 months until my treatment my biological father reached out to me and asked me to come live with him and start over. So I did. After 6 months, he told me that I was an interference with his life and his family.... Who tells their son that.... I ended up getting my CDL and driving 18 wheelers because I felt it was the only job I could take that gave me a home and allowed me to save money. For the next 3 years I did this traveling all over the United States. I no longer had a drug habit so I was able to save. Long story short, I spent the next several years busting my butt. I saved money, bought a vehicle and home. I started training again and took it up like a fish out of water.. I am a small guy so during all of this I lost weight. I was extremely frail at 129lbs.
Fast forward 8 years later, I have a great job as a Network Admin for a Hospital. making great money, nice home, vehicles and all the material things I had once lost. Not just that, I ended up getting custody of my daughter, you just turned 18 is on her way to college. Shes turned out to be fine young lady! I believe she is the number one reason why I'm still alive today. She what's my reason to fight. Otherwise I would have taken my life a long time ago. as far as the gym and the whole purpose of this was to show not just a physical transformation in the gym but a spiritual and emotional one as well. Today I prepare to compete again. I am in the best shape of my life, physically and mentally. I am the happiest that I have ever been in my entire life and truly thats the only transformation that matters.
Sorry for any grammar issues!


  • IAmTheGlue
    IAmTheGlue Posts: 535 Member
    Congratulations on turning your life around! I wish you nothing but peace and happinesses.
  • KL1887
    KL1887 Posts: 68 Member
    Well done for fighting to make a success of your life and showing your daughter that no matter how many time life knocks you down there’s only up you can go. I wish you both all the best ❤️
  • ben42hin
    ben42hin Posts: 1 Member
    All the best buddy and continue staying on the right side of the track. Well done and very impressive how you managed all these difficult situations :smile:
  • EliseTK1
    EliseTK1 Posts: 410 Member
    You are an inspiration. Congratulations to you for changing your life!
  • oarngesi
    oarngesi Posts: 73 Member
    Damn you really did make it. You should be really proud
  • vredwards71
    vredwards71 Posts: 1 Member
    Wow you are an inspiration, you are now strong mentally and physically. you have been through hell n came back stronger than ever..I wish you all the best for the future.
  • x_stephisaur_x
    x_stephisaur_x Posts: 146 Member
    What a horrible time you've had. I'm so pleased you have managed to come out the other side. Best of luck with your competing and I hope the next phase of your life is more peaceful for you.
  • poisonesse
    poisonesse Posts: 502 Member
    your story is brutally real and extremely inspirational. So very glad you found the strength to turn your life around. You look fantastic now, best wishes on your competitions! And I hope the rest of your life goes smoothly, it sounds like you deserve it!
  • RaquelFit2
    RaquelFit2 Posts: 209 Member
    Congrats on getting your life back together!
  • lisaccleaver
    lisaccleaver Posts: 3 Member
    Very inspirational. you look great. Congratulations on your success. You have turned everything around. Way to go.