I am DONE!!

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This is me about 12 years ago. I can see so much more self-confidence and self-reliance in my eyes. I miss that.

Physical and mental health problems, nursing my Mother through dementia and grieving her death, along with comfort eating, have been the contributors to me gaining well over 70lbs since this photo was taken. I don't know exactly what weight I was in this pic, but I was wearing a UK size 12. I'm now barely able to squeeze into a UK size 20. ENOUGH!!

I have zero social life outside of talking to friends online. I have no confidence in myself or my abilities any more. I have allowed my life to be boiled down to me EXISTING and not LIVING and feeling like I'm not worth taking care of. I have had enough!!

I want my health back, I want my confidence back! I want a life back! I am digging in! I am resisting the easy path.

Over the last few days I have seen how easy it is to make changes to my diet and have results. I am determined to NEVER be in this physical and mental funk again. I know I have work to do, I know there will be times when it's hard and I want to just fall off the wagon. I will cross those bridges as they come. I am tougher than this. I am worth more than this!

First priority: Health. Second priority: getting my confidence back.

I am on the trail, now all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and walk the talk.

I am ready. LETS GO!!!

Replies

  • tristatriesagain
    tristatriesagain Posts: 22 Member
    You can do it! <3
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,467 Member
    Sounds like you’re well on your way. Hang on Girl! I have faith in you.
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    You can do it! <3

    Thankyou!
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    Sounds like you’re well on your way. Hang on Girl! I have faith in you.

    Aww thankyou!
  • costaricanchick
    costaricanchick Posts: 1 Member
    Checking in to see how it’s going? You're situation sounds similar to mine. Hope you are keeping your positivity!
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    edited May 2022
    Life is so hard. I'm sorry about your mom. :( That's a really tough path to have to walk. :( I'm not sure there's anything that can beat a person up in the same ways that watching a loved one decline, can. And eating is definitely a coping mechanism.

    Give yourself the grace and kindness you deserve for caring for your mom, through her difficult and heart-breaking days.

    Now it's time to care for yourself and it sounds like you're ready to tackle this head-on. Find the ways that work for you and, as they say, 'just do it'. Your words sound like you're strong enough and absolutely ready. Good luck!! One day at a time......
  • jonniemomof9ak
    jonniemomof9ak Posts: 62 Member
    I have been through a similar situation. Having 9 children and losing myself. I was up to 212lbs at one point. I have slowly lost 56 lbs. just two days ago, I started on what should be my last 10 lb. Loss.

    You can do this, and the rewards are so sweet
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    Checking in to see how it’s going? You're situation sounds similar to mine. Hope you are keeping your positivity!

    Hello! Thankyou for checking in with me. I hope you're doing well?

    I'm still going, I'm still being careful with how much I eat, logging calories and I'm trying to move around a little more.

    I haven't had weight loss on the scales for 2 weeks, but I can already see changes in my body. This shows that ( I already kinda knew this but it's worth repeating) the scale doesn't always show all achievements.

    I'm still determined to carry on and change more. I know it'll be slow progress and there will be wobbles along the way, but i'll deal with those when they come.
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Life is so hard. I'm sorry about your mom. :( That's a really tough path to have to walk. :( I'm not sure there's anything that can beat a person up in the same ways that watching a loved one decline, can. And eating is definitely a coping mechanism.

    Give yourself the grace and kindness you deserve for caring for your mom, through her difficult and heart-breaking days.

    Now it's time to care for yourself and it sounds like you're ready to tackle this head-on. Find the ways that work for you and, as they say, 'just do it'. Your words sound like you're strong enough and absolutely ready. Good luck!! One day at a time......

    Hello! Thankyou for your kind words.

    Yes it was a very tough 3 years! You're right though, it's now time for me to look after myself again. I'm hoping that this is the beginning of me taking my own health and wellbeing much more seriously. Ultimately I'm the only one who can make changes to myself, which will continue to be of benefit int he future.

    I'm sure working on it! Determined to keep going! :)
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    I have been through a similar situation. Having 9 children and losing myself. I was up to 212lbs at one point. I have slowly lost 56 lbs. just two days ago, I started on what should be my last 10 lb. Loss.

    You can do this, and the rewards are so sweet

    Thankyou very much and congratulations on all your hard work paying off!

    I'm still working on it. Slowly and surely, I'll get there.

    Best of luck with your last 10lbs! :)
  • mj2417
    mj2417 Posts: 1 Member
    Hi! Your post is so motivating & sums up my feelings exactly. I’m completely done with my weight controlling my life. I just wanted to thank you!
  • CupcakeD83
    CupcakeD83 Posts: 4 Member
    I’m with you, girl. I put on 25 lbs. after losing 50. Shortly after my dog died, I went into a deep depression. I could barely squeeze into my size 8 pants I was so happy to be wearing again. I’m well on my way to get back down to 140. You can do this.
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    mj2417 wrote: »
    Hi! Your post is so motivating & sums up my feelings exactly. I’m completely done with my weight controlling my life. I just wanted to thank you!

    Hi There!

    Yes! That's exactly how I still feel. I wish you all the best in reaching your goals! You can do it! :)
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    CupcakeD83 wrote: »
    I’m with you, girl. I put on 25 lbs. after losing 50. Shortly after my dog died, I went into a deep depression. I could barely squeeze into my size 8 pants I was so happy to be wearing again. I’m well on my way to get back down to 140. You can do this.

    Hi!
    Sorry about your dog. Being upset is a real trigger for me to 'eat to soth my hurts'. So I can empathise. Congratulations for realising though and getting back to working on your weight loss goals! That takes a lot of determination, especially if you're not feeling awesome about life. I'm sure you'll be back down to your desired weight soon. I wishyou all the best with getting there! :)
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    edited July 2022
    So here's an update, just to keep a log of where I'm at and what I'm doing.

    These are in no particular order, just as I think of them.

    Overall weight loss -25lbs. MFP weight loss -7lbs since April 2022.

    The good stuff! :

    1) I achieved my main goal for this year which is to drop a dress size. I am now fitting well into size 20 (uk) jeans and pants/ trousers quite easily. I realise this after treating myself to some new jeans for my Birthday, which I bought online in my usual size and when they arrived they were on the large-side. They're still wearable, but definitely on the loose side of fitting properly.

    2) I realised that I've passed the 'down 25lbs' mark, from my heaviest recorded weight. I'm very proud of myself and look and feel so much better. I don't have as many digestive or GERD issues, or as many breathing issues when I lie down in bed at night. I wouldn't be surprised if I was on the verge of needing a C-Pap for sleep apnea as I would often wake up during the night, gasping for breath.

    3) I've been able to get outside a bit more and walk a little and be much more active around the house, doing more household chores and such. It's been so lovely to be outside in the fresh air and experiencing life outside of the four walls of my home.

    4) As mentioned it was my Birthday at the end of June and I was able to not go crazy with food. I had cake and treated myself to a yummy, homecooked dinner without counting, but was back to watching my portion sizes and no more sweet treats, the day after. This is almost unheard of in the past. I'd use my Birthday or Xmas as an excuse to jump off the wagon completely and not get back on again.

    5) I can see in photos that I've definitely lost weight since my heaviest. (See below).


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    6) I've had to start wearing a belt (which again didn't used to fit me anymore, now it does again - on the loosest setting, I admit, but it's nice to need one and for it to fit again) to keep certain pairs of pants / jeans / shorts up.


    The Crappy Stuff:

    1) Because I can't use my 'go to' coping mechanisms (eating and smoking / vaping), there's some major issues with anxiety /old PTSD/ mental exhaustion, that have raised their ugly heads again, thanks to an a-hole of a new neighbour being super noisy and kicking it all off. It's beginning to affect my day-to-day and the relationship I have with my beloved Hubs, so I'm seeking some counselling sessions at the moment to get some better coping tools because I have cut off access to my usual ones. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a huge amount of disposable income, but I'm willing to do without some other (quite honestly probably not particularly important) items, to make sure I become mentally healthy again.

    2) I'm having some joint / nerve issues because I'm moving around a lot more than I have been for a very long time. I'm hoping these will subside with more weight loss and slowly building up the amount of moving around I do.

    3)I've aggrivated an old knee injury from walking so much, so I need to learn to pace myself a little better and not push so hard, so fast.


    That's all I can think of for now, I'm sure there's more but I need to go and get some stuff done.

  • melissarugge
    melissarugge Posts: 1 Member
    Wow! You've come through a lot, and look at you -- much smaller you in the photo. You've learned how to jump back on track, and that is something that I'm aiming for too.
    I just celebrated my 27th wedding anniversary and this past weekend was our July 4th holiday. I enjoyed some treats but didn't go hog wild, and jumped back on track yesterday. I have only lost a few pounds, and have not gotten down to what I weighed just 3-1/2 years ago, which is about 9 lbs. less than I weigh now.
    Keep on, and let me ride on your kite tails. Your story is inspiring and you should be proud.
  • TamiVsTheTrail
    TamiVsTheTrail Posts: 75 Member
    That moment we get to the point of being done can be so empowering. I had lost over 100 pounds, things happened, tried to not let them impact me but regained 80 pounds. Down 11 pounds now and loving being back to the healthy lifestyle. Looking forward to seeing you succeed!

    Was able to hike up to this glacier yesterday, sat on the edge eating a healthy lunch, love what a healthy lifestyle gives us.
    82qndpwj4agq.jpg
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    Wow! You've come through a lot, and look at you -- much smaller you in the photo. You've learned how to jump back on track, and that is something that I'm aiming for too.
    I just celebrated my 27th wedding anniversary and this past weekend was our July 4th holiday. I enjoyed some treats but didn't go hog wild, and jumped back on track yesterday. I have only lost a few pounds, and have not gotten down to what I weighed just 3-1/2 years ago, which is about 9 lbs. less than I weigh now.
    Keep on, and let me ride on your kite tails. Your story is inspiring and you should be proud.

    Thankyou so much.
    Congratulations on learning to jump back into the weight loss groove. It took me like 20 years to learn to have the discipline to do it. it's really not an easy thing to just 'flip the switch ' and get back on track .
    Hope you had a fantastic 4th and I wish you all the best in achieving your goals. 🙂👍
  • Alesgriff79
    Alesgriff79 Posts: 39 Member
    That moment we get to the point of being done can be so empowering. I had lost over 100 pounds, things happened, tried to not let them impact me but regained 80 pounds. Down 11 pounds now and loving being back to the healthy lifestyle. Looking forward to seeing you succeed!

    Was able to hike up to this glacier yesterday, sat on the edge eating a healthy lunch, love what a healthy lifestyle gives us.
    82qndpwj4agq.jpg

    Hi there! Gosh! what a beautiful place to hike in! Thankyou so much for your kind comment.
    I'm keeping this thread as a motivator and a record for myself, so when I have anything to say about how the process is going, it'll be posted here.
    Sounds like you're well on your way to achieving your goals, so keep up the good work and keep walking in that beautiful countryside!!
    I really miss being in the countryside and long to get back to living in it!!