Bought new clothes online

Hope you will fit into the snug togs soon!
I lost the bulk of my weight during the early pandemic lockdown. As much as I love thrift shopping and saving money, it wasn't an option then. I bought inexpensive Time & Tru pants/jeans from Walmart online. I had never bought clothing from Walmart before and was pleasantly surprised. They were well-made, had good stretch and spanned several sizes, first from US 18-16, then 14-12.

Hello everybody. I just reactivated my membership here. I have a hundred pounds to lose. Used to have 20 more than that, but I'm maintaining more or less at 223-225 for a long time. My diet history starts at age 4 when my mother put me on my first diet because the doctor told her I was over the 50th %'ile for my age. (She never addressed her own restrictive eating disorder, by the way). I turn 70 this year and have been on diets over and over and over and over again. I have signed up for Weight Watchers more times than I can count. Three times on Nutrisystem. I had a lap band about 10 years ago but it had to be removed. I lost more weight on the pre-op diet than after the lap band. More recently I tried Noom. Twice. Then did a mindful eating online group. I have alternated between wanting to just eat what I want, and wanting redemption through another diet. Here's the thing. I did get my weight down by seriously restricting my intake when I was about 20 and got to just below the lowest normal BMI for my height. My mother never noticed. Then I went through a very bad breakup - and started binge eating.
At this point, I am absolutely burned out with "dieting" and I realize finally that all my efforts at dieting are undermined by my inability to self-soothe and by my inability to meet my emotional needs. It's so ingrained that it's been hard for me to see this. Bottom line, I just feel like a total failure because I'm fat and I can't lose weight. I realize that this sounds childish - but, well, it comes from my early childhood - and there were other issues with my mother. She is now 98 and requires 24 hour home care. But the last time I visited - a couple weeks ago - I overheard her telling the caregiver, "She's so heavy." She only makes lucid comments every few days. So this helped me realize that this is also, for her, a deeply ingrained issue. So here's the plan: 1. Start building healthy menus, while not setting an expectation that I strictly follow the recommended calories every day. 2. Work on decreasing habit based overeating when it's not emotionally driven. 3. Better recognize when I feel emotionally needy, and look for other ways to meet those needs. 4. Not get stuck in old, embedded self hatred when I allow myself to eat for emotional reasons (e.g. Pint of Chocolate Hagen Daas). 5. Not let unmet emotional needs fester and find better ways of getting these needs met.
I didn't set out intending to write such a long post. But it was helpful to me to put these things down on paper, and I hope it is helpful to others. I'd appreciate any thoughts you might have about chronic "yo-yo dieting and emotional overeating.