First impressions

2

Replies

  • OnlyPans
    OnlyPans Posts: 629 Member
    edited September 2022
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    I have it on good and recent authority that I'm intimidating AF. This from my 17 year old daughter on behalf of her friends.

    So I scare young women, that's the takeaway. Half a step from pedophile. :|

    You don't intimidate me 😝

    You're not under age :neutral:
  • CoffeeNstilettos
    CoffeeNstilettos Posts: 2,593 Member
    edited September 2022
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    I have it on good and recent authority that I'm intimidating AF. This from my 17 year old daughter on behalf of her friends.

    So I scare young women, that's the takeaway. Half a step from pedophile. :|

    You don't intimidate me 😝

    You're not under age :neutral:

    😂 well if I was, you wouldn't
  • OnlyPans
    OnlyPans Posts: 629 Member
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    I have it on good and recent authority that I'm intimidating AF. This from my 17 year old daughter on behalf of her friends.

    So I scare young women, that's the takeaway. Half a step from pedophile. :|

    You don't intimidate me 😝

    You're not under age :neutral:

    😂 well if I was, you wouldn't

    Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.
  • CoffeeNstilettos
    CoffeeNstilettos Posts: 2,593 Member
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    I have it on good and recent authority that I'm intimidating AF. This from my 17 year old daughter on behalf of her friends.

    So I scare young women, that's the takeaway. Half a step from pedophile. :|

    You don't intimidate me 😝

    You're not under age :neutral:

    😂 well if I was, you wouldn't

    Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.

    😂 I was just teasing you, I'm sure once they get to know you they don't think that. Unless you're a grumpy dad all the time. 😏
  • TwitchyMagee
    TwitchyMagee Posts: 4,579 Member
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    I have it on good and recent authority that I'm intimidating AF. This from my 17 year old daughter on behalf of her friends.

    So I scare young women, that's the takeaway. Half a step from pedophile. :|

    You don't intimidate me 😝

    You're not under age :neutral:

    😂 well if I was, you wouldn't

    Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.

    😂 I was just teasing you, I'm sure once they get to know you they don't think that. Unless you're a grumpy dad all the time. 😏
    I mean

    I kind of like being intimidated

    But I only grew into that as an adult

    And you’re right

    He’s not intimidating

    ❤️

  • OnlyPans
    OnlyPans Posts: 629 Member
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    OnlyPans wrote: »
    I have it on good and recent authority that I'm intimidating AF. This from my 17 year old daughter on behalf of her friends.

    So I scare young women, that's the takeaway. Half a step from pedophile. :|

    You don't intimidate me 😝

    You're not under age :neutral:

    😂 well if I was, you wouldn't

    Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.

    😂 I was just teasing you, I'm sure once they get to know you they don't think that. Unless you're a grumpy dad all the time. 😏
    I mean

    I kind of like being intimidated

    But I only grew into that as an adult

    And you’re right

    He’s not intimidating

    ❤️

    You're just trying to elicit my trump complex, it's not gonna work. Also, my hands are huge, the biggest, everyone knows this.
  • R3d_butt3rfly_
    R3d_butt3rfly_ Posts: 1,585 Member
    tigrig wrote: »
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    I have no idea. But I think it’s amazing that people know what others’ first impressions are of them. Interesting that you’ve been told.

    I can't speak for everyone, but it's come up in conversation with a few people I became friends with.

    This
  • Alinouveau2
    Alinouveau2 Posts: 6,421 Member
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    I have no idea. But I think it’s amazing that people know what others’ first impressions are of them. Interesting that you’ve been told.

    I've had people who I'm now friends with tell me they were so scared of me at first. I laugh saying wtf and they laugh saying we'll now I know you're not scary. Haha. I will talk to anyone but I think I have an air of confidence always about me simply partly because I have good posture haha. I blame that on skating
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    tigrig wrote: »
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    I have no idea. But I think it’s amazing that people know what others’ first impressions are of them. Interesting that you’ve been told.

    I can't speak for everyone, but it's come up in conversation with a few people I became friends with.

    Me too. Mostly I hear how surprised people are that I'm "so nice". I can extrapolate first impression from that.

    One good friend long ago did say her first impression of me was that I was "aloof". I think that's probably a polite euphemism for snobby B.

    RBF strikes again. Although I am quite shy and not very talkative until I know someone.
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,127 Member
    people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue

    So you did NOT get the cheezits. I knew you were a bad *kitten*
  • TwitchyMagee
    TwitchyMagee Posts: 4,579 Member
    people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue
    I know that was my first thought but once I got to know you
  • OnlyPans
    OnlyPans Posts: 629 Member
    people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue

    Kinky
  • amorfati601070
    amorfati601070 Posts: 2,890 Member
    First impressions....ugh..unfortunately they do matter...as I'm aware of that..I do tent act. I guess I come across as positive, ambitious and with childlike curiosity of things. Sometimes I might overdo that, a lot of people actually think I'm gay..which I doesn't bother me and I just find that peculiar. Machismo is not strong with me.
  • OpheliaCooter
    OpheliaCooter Posts: 1,635 Member
    I get *kitten* alllllllll the time. 💁🏻‍♀️ Perhaps
    Idk if someone the other day was just trying to build me up or something but she told me I have a powerful aura that intimidates some people.
    🤔 ya but stuck up is a common misconception.
  • Revolu7
    Revolu7 Posts: 1,035 Member
    I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Conservative, quiet, and serious. But I’m really quite the opposite once I’m comfortable with you.
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,230 Member
    edited September 2022
    Revolu7 wrote: »
    I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.

    uc27ss2t5ztf.jpeg
    No, I would say not from my perspective anyway. I have no doubt some are intimidated but that wasn’t my first impression.

    Maybe more this.
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  • Alinouveau2
    Alinouveau2 Posts: 6,421 Member
    edited September 2022
    Revolu7 wrote: »
    I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.

    You say you respect confidence, intelligence and strong physicality. These are the traits many would find intimidating. As MelG defined intimidating as a loss of courage or self confidence this is exactly what many people will feel when they meet someone they deem superior. Someone may meet someone with physical dominance and feel fearful. Someone might hold another in high esteem because perhaps they feel they are of superior intelligence and then feel less confident about theirs....basically proving the very definition we have above.

    It's simply our need as humans for a pecking order. Perhaps you don't feel these yourself because you have self confidence. I was brought up by parents being told I'm pretty awesome and I've had lots of cool opportunities in life so I know my self worth. Typically those who have told me I am intimidating at first feel this way because they have decided I'm superior in some skill so therefore I must be superior to them when in reality I'm just a normal person who happens to be good at a few things. Also I find intimidation is often a reaction to someone simply being aloof.
  • TwitchyMagee
    TwitchyMagee Posts: 4,579 Member
    Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 2,068 Member
    First impressions I think are that I am shy and/or mean. I get "intimidating" a lot. Like a LOT. Some stronger personalities seem to just not even recognize that I exist though - so it's a strange vibe I give off apparently.
    INTJ female who does what I do for fun/passion.
    Over time I think I've gotten pretty good at managing other people - respect vs firmness, fairly adaptable to the different personalities and understanding of the differences which I think helps.
    But I'm very introverted by nature, and tend to be the one who hears all 3 conversations going on around me without significantly contributing to any of them, and frequently feeling like I'm talked over in social situations (weirdly enough I do not feel that way in work situations - so I clearly must present myself differently in some situations vs others).
  • TwitchyMagee
    TwitchyMagee Posts: 4,579 Member
    Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other

    i think most people just aren’t comfortable with each other when they meet new people so they are reserved and then sometimes people read that as being cold

    and also other people sometimes feel intimidated bc they just don’t have a lot of confidence in themselves and it has *kitten* to do with who’s standing in front of them
    I would like to insightful this in a non-ironic way because it is. But I hugged you instead
  • Revolu7
    Revolu7 Posts: 1,035 Member
    edited September 2022
    Revolu7 wrote: »
    I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.

    You say you respect confidence, intelligence and strong physicality. These are the traits many would find intimidating. As MelG defined intimidating as a loss of courage or self confidence this is exactly what many people will feel when they meet someone they deem superior. Someone may meet someone with physical dominance and feel fearful. Someone might hold another in high esteem because perhaps they feel they are of superior intelligence and then feel less confident about theirs....basically proving the very definition we have above.

    It's simply our need as humans for a pecking order. Perhaps you don't feel these yourself because you have self confidence. I was brought up by parents being told I'm pretty awesome and I've had lots of cool opportunities in life so I know my self worth. Typically those who have told me I am intimidating at first feel this way because they have decided I'm superior in some skill so therefore I must be superior to them when in reality I'm just a normal person who happens to be good at a few things. Also I find intimidation is often a reaction to someone simply being aloof.

    I dont disagree with what you say here. I understand what intimidation is. I think my confidence allows me to appreciate those that have strong attributes more than be intimidated by them. My point is, i think lack of confidence can make someone feel intimidated....but i also feel the need to think ones self to be intimidating is also a sign of lack of confidence. I assure you i am not speaking about you or anyone here specifically. I just find it curious that the majority of people think of there first impression as being intimidating while in real life i dont encounter this at all.

    I competed as a fighter for more than 3 decades. Intimidation was a great part of a fighters arsenal if you could pull it off. However when i transitioned to being a trainer and coach to young fighters i realized that most of the young people that came in to the gym that had an intimidating act were really the least intimidating in the ring. I think i learned intimidation comes from action not impression. And regardless how strong, smart, or talented someone is, intimidation is not about the person with the strengths, its about the other person. So its not if someone is intimidating, its if someone can be intimidated.
  • Revolu7
    Revolu7 Posts: 1,035 Member
    Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other

    i think most people just aren’t comfortable with each other when they meet new people so they are reserved and then sometimes people read that as being cold

    and also other people sometimes feel intimidated bc they just don’t have a lot of confidence in themselves and it has *kitten* to do with who’s standing in front of them

    Yes i agree. Had i read this first i would not have posted my rambing thoughts lol
  • OnlyPans
    OnlyPans Posts: 629 Member
    edited September 2022
    Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other

    i think most people just aren’t comfortable with each other when they meet new people so they are reserved and then sometimes people read that as being cold

    and also other people sometimes feel intimidated bc they just don’t have a lot of confidence in themselves and it has *kitten* to do with who’s standing in front of them

    It's this, in my opinion, but it's a moving target.

    For lack of a better term, it's mostly about the receiver, the person feeling intimidated. Few grown-ups aspire to intimidate others, but many of us can feel intimidated on occasion by someone who has their life in order, even in a single aspect.

    In the gym, this can translate to someone's hard work over a period of years easily showing, and being intimidating to a newbie. Outside of the gym in a more neutral setting, that same newbie might not feel that way at all, even in front of the same person.

    In my opinion, the exception to that would be when someone clearly excels in many very visible ways - they are in great shape, their clothes are well chosen, their language is respectful and uplifting without being insincere, for example - they've spent years to maximize who they are in every sense. Frankly, many of us struggle to have our lives together in a way that it shows very broadly, and it's perceptibly different to see. Again, that's on the receiver feeling intimidated, to Revolu7's point, but it's real to them. If your life is together enough not to feel intimidated, so much the better.
  • Mtn_hikin
    Mtn_hikin Posts: 1,087 Member
    I have no idea. I think people think I’m very serious until I start talking.