I don't think I can do it, what Am I doing wrong 45yrs old

I have no problem exercising, I do alot of cycling, workout dvds, walking, yoga. I am mostly cycling at the moment. I have myfitnesspal set on lightly active and have my garmin watch connected to myfitnesspal. For some reason I can eat within my calories but not for very long. I end up sort of binging, I wish I could stop this but I don't know how to. It's like I'm possessed or something. Or am I just week. Myfitnesspal recommends 1,522 then I eat back some calories back or mostly all of my exercise calories or somtimes I leave quite a few. If I didn't exercise and only ate 1,522 I wouldn't be able to do it for very long. Without losing control. I'm 45 years old 5ft 9ish and weigh about 11st8 atm. I would like my bmi to be a bit lower or weigh about 10st 7 to 10st 10. I just don't know how to do this without loss of control.
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Replies

  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,515 Member
    I guess we're all using a calorie counting program because we all have this problem! I tend to gain weight when I'm not being careful. It seems like you are not at an unhealthy weight, but you could choose to be lighter, if you want.

    Here's my standard blurb on apatite: Our bodies evolved to encourage us to overeat whenever possible. Our miraculous fat cells can then harness and store that energy for many years until needed. We can go a very long time without food, although it's very unpleasant. That innate ability worked well for about a million years until very recently, when we figured out how to provide food to a fair number of us (but not nearly all) in great abundance year around. Of course, this is an incredible blessing, in general. Many of us can choose to eat just about whatever we want whenever we want. (Sadly, there are still all to many who struggle to get basic nutrition. It's interesting to think about that as we struggle not to eat too much!)

    Overriding a million years of evolution requires quite a lot of intellectual intervention. Your rational mind has to be in control, since the whole rest of your body has a different agenda.

    I note that cycling is an awesome sport that benefits from having good muscle mass. I don't know how hard you ride, but I often go out for 1-2 hours, which burns a lot of calories but also kicks up my apatite the next day. I try to anticipate that surge in apatite and plan accordingly.

    Best of luck!
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,454 Member
    How long have you been trying to lose weight? How much does the calculator say you should lose in a week with your current set up?

    A high level of fitness combined with weight loss works on tight margins. Also you are close to goal weight. Losses can be hard to get close to goal. I went through a phase where I was not fueling my workouts properly. I would go flying out of the gym (possessed) to the nearest fast food place and scarf down whatever I thought I would get the fastest. Not good.

    Maybe an experiment. Can you calculate the number to maintain where you are now? Can you make a plan to hit that number and actually stick to it? Drawing red lines and then crossing them is destructive. It drains our confidence. Once you have control of the process, can you look around for some modifications to things you like to eat that cut some calories? I wouldn’t consider any plan aimed at losing more than 1/2 lb per week. If you can keep control of the process and post modest losses, its just a matter of time until you get to goal. Right now your brain may be screaming that 1/2 lb per week is too slow, but according to your post, your current plan will never get you to goal. Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. People tend to go all in on the deficit part and try to beat themselves into living with it. Weakness doesn’t have anything to do with it. It’s a matter of problem solving and persistence. Good luck.
  • IAmTheGlue
    IAmTheGlue Posts: 701 Member
    You have already gotten good advice here, but I wanted to add a suggestion. I’m highly active and I have days I need more food, especially if I have a bunch of unlogged exercise or I had a couple of under- eating days. Like my body is screaming “nourish me”.

    You have your calorie goal, your exercise calories, and then you have your actual maintenance calories… the number that you will not gain and not lose, merely hold steady. On those days my body needs more energy, I use my maintenance calories as the upper limit of my goal.

    Trying to force your body to run on less than you need is a bad idea, and like you said can lead to binges. Even slow progress is progress. Just keep going.
  • wearefab
    wearefab Posts: 69 Member
    Sleep, habits (eating with tv?), hydration, and life stress ?

  • emshair
    emshair Posts: 20 Member
    I guess we're all using a calorie counting program because we all have this problem! I tend to gain weight when I'm not being careful. It seems like you are not at an unhealthy weight, but you could choose to be lighter, if you want.

    Here's my standard blurb on apatite: Our bodies evolved to encourage us to overeat whenever possible. Our miraculous fat cells can then harness and store that energy for many years until needed. We can go a very long time without food, although it's very unpleasant. That innate ability worked well for about a million years until very recently, when we figured out how to provide food to a fair number of us (but not nearly all) in great abundance year around. Of course, this is an incredible blessing, in general. Many of us can choose to eat just about whatever we want whenever we want. (Sadly, there are still all to many who struggle to get basic nutrition. It's interesting to think about that as we struggle not to eat too much!)

    Overriding a million years of evolution requires quite a lot of intellectual intervention. Your rational mind has to be in control, since the whole rest of your body has a different agenda.

    I note that cycling is an awesome sport that benefits from having good muscle mass. I don't know how hard you ride, but I often go out for 1-2 hours, which burns a lot of calories but also kicks up my apatite the next day. I try to anticipate that surge in apatite and plan accordingly.

    Best of luck!

    Thanks for your reply. I have alot to take in from all of the excellent replies I've had. I cycle between 20 to 25 miles on average a bit more than 2hrs. I'm going to slowly digest all this great information. Thank you
  • emshair
    emshair Posts: 20 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    emshair wrote: »
    I have no problem exercising, I do alot of cycling, workout dvds, walking, yoga. I am mostly cycling at the moment. I have myfitnesspal set on lightly active and have my garmin watch connected to myfitnesspal. For some reason I can eat within my calories but not for very long. I end up sort of binging, I wish I could stop this but I don't know how to. It's like I'm possessed or something. Or am I just week. Myfitnesspal recommends 1,522 then I eat back some calories back or mostly all of my exercise calories or somtimes I leave quite a few. If I didn't exercise and only ate 1,522 I wouldn't be able to do it for very long. Without losing control. I'm 45 years old 5ft 9ish and weigh about 11st8 atm. I would like my bmi to be a bit lower or weigh about 10st 7 to 10st 10. I just don't know how to do this without loss of control.

    One question, or maybe three:

    How fast are you trying to lose weight? At 11st 8 (162 pounds if my math is right) and 5'9", you're already within the normal BMI range (you're at 23.9, normal range is 18.5 to 24.9). I'm not saying you shouldn't want to be a little lighter. (I'm at 21.2, so it would hypocritical if I did say that, y'know? 😉)

    What I'm suggesting is that with a goal at 10st 7 (147 pounds), so only 15 pounds to lose, you'd probably be best off going for a slow loss rate, like a half pound a week. Yes, that's slow, could be frustrating, could take a long time to show up on the scale amongst routine daily water/digestive contents fluctuations . . . but it could be less difficult. Are you trying for faster than that now?

    Recently, with a similar amount to (re-)lose, I did it even more slowly than that - like a pound a month! - and it was virtually painless. It took months, I admit, but it worked, and for me, easier. (I just didn't have it in me to run a big calorie deficit for faster loss, at the time.)

    Even if you don't want to go as ultra-slowly as I did, it's useful to understand that researchers believe that we can only metabolize a certain amount of body fat per day per pound of fat on our body, and if we go beyond that, we'll tend to be burning other kinds of tissue, like muscle we'd prefer to keep. You may not be at that extreme, but the closer we get to it, the more likely our appetite hormones are to kick back, cause cravings, increase appetite, etc. The implication is that slower loss is a better plan, when close to goal weight. (Yup, I know, we pretty much all want to drop it like it's hot! 😆)

    A slower but more sustainable goal, in some cases, can even result in faster progress - in calendar terms - than an aggressive attempt that has binges and setbacks along the way. It's something to consider.

    In your circumstances, I'd definitely go with eating back all the exercise calories from your Garmin, at least for long enough to see if that works best. You don't have to eat them all the same day, you can save them up for when you're hungrier or for the weekend, or whatever. Bodies don't reset at midnight, even though MFP's diary does. I'd also observe - though it doesn't apply for most people - that a fitness tracker or MFP can underestimate some people's calorie needs (it does for me). Loss rate over 4-6 weeks should tell the story - if it's faster than targeted, once you're staying close to the estimated goals.

    I'd also ask whether your eating approach has you denying yourself foods you truly enjoy, with the idea that you should eat only "healthy" things. That, too, can trigger cravings/appetite/binging, through a sense of deprivation. It's complicated: Some people can moderate desired foods that are calorie dense, eat a bit of them sometimes and reduce cravings. Others are more all or nothing, can't moderate . . . and it can vary food by food. For sure, I can moderate some foods but am better off mostly eliminating others. Eating the ones I can moderate - eat in calorie-manageable amounts - helps me stay on track overall.

    Finally, how's your nutrition? There are a bunch of variables there, too. Some people find that eating mostly less processed foods is more filling, others that if they don't get enough proteins or fats they'll be hungry, and carb intake can cut either of two ways: Some people find their energy level tanks or appetite spikes if they don't eat carbs, while others find that eating carbs triggers cravings for more carbs. There's also a potential that getting a sub-par amount of some of the micronutrients can trigger cravings, and bizarrely enough, the cravings may be for foods that don't even contain those nutrients!

    Your heavy exercise schedule could also be a factor, especially if there's quite a bit of intense exercise in the mix, or your exercise frequency/duration has increased a lot fairly recently. Those things can cause fatigue, and fatigue triggers the body to seek out energy . . . in the form of food. That same potential makes stress (which is fatiguing) or poor sleep quality/quantity possible factors in appetite spikes, too.

    In my experience, successful weight loss involves a good bit of thoughtful analysis and problem-solving. The above are some variables I can think of that might play into what you're experiencing, but I'm speculating. Does any of that resonate?

    FWIW, in case it matters, I'm also female, active (mostly rowing and cycling), 5'5", around 128 pounds (9st 2) now, age 66, and in year 6+ of maintaining a healthy weight after losing from class 1 obese starting something over 7 years ago now.

    I suspect that this challenge will be something that you can think your way through, maybe try some different strategies, see if you can find better satiation or get better sleep, or whatever seems like it could be a factor. Wishing you success!

    Wow Thanks so much for taking the time to give me some great things to think about .
    I have MyFitnessPal set on 1lb per week which obviously is too hard for me to do. I know if i dont get a handle on it, my weight will just creep up and up. so I want a lower or mid range BMI.

    I Totally agree with you when you said this - [A slower but more sustainable goal, in some cases, can even result in faster progress - in calendar terms - than an aggressive attempt that has binges and setbacks along the way. It's something to consider].

    I dont restrict myself from any foods and eat quite healthy. Its just when I start using MyFitnessPal as I have many, many times lol I do well with my calories then out of the blue I lose it and I just cant stop myself from eating and I never feel full. So I end up giving in. Not knowing how I can do better. So I try again even more determined and yet again the same thing happens all the time. So I think I do need to try a more slower kinder way. Half a pound per week would have me at 1,772 calories that's set as lightly active maybe 1800 might be more doable and at least I know on a none exercise day I still have plenty of calories to play with. Do you think this would be a good Idea? and if I see no progress in a few weeks then try to drop a bit lower. I dont really know how to approach this but I know I need to make a decision and stick with it.

    Congratulations on your success, You are obviously an amazingly strong woman!! And to be able to get this far and keep up with your fitness. you are great a role model.

    I am going to keep reading through these replies so I can Absorb all the excellent advice. Thanks for taking the time to reply to me xxx
  • emshair
    emshair Posts: 20 Member
    88olds wrote: »
    How long have you been trying to lose weight? How much does the calculator say you should lose in a week with your current set up?

    A high level of fitness combined with weight loss works on tight margins. Also you are close to goal weight. Losses can be hard to get close to goal. I went through a phase where I was not fueling my workouts properly. I would go flying out of the gym (possessed) to the nearest fast food place and scarf down whatever I thought I would get the fastest. Not good.

    Maybe an experiment. Can you calculate the number to maintain where you are now? Can you make a plan to hit that number and actually stick to it? Drawing red lines and then crossing them is destructive. It drains our confidence. Once you have control of the process, can you look around for some modifications to things you like to eat that cut some calories? I wouldn’t consider any plan aimed at losing more than 1/2 lb per week. If you can keep control of the process and post modest losses, its just a matter of time until you get to goal. Right now your brain may be screaming that 1/2 lb per week is too slow, but according to your post, your current plan will never get you to goal. Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. People tend to go all in on the deficit part and try to beat themselves into living with it. Weakness doesn’t have anything to do with it. It’s a matter of problem solving and persistence. Good luck.

    Thank you so much for your reply. I was set for a 1lb per week loss. Ive been trying on and off for quite a few years but the older I am getting my weight is getting higher. I dont want to be Skinny just middle or slightly lower BMI. I agree my current plan is never gonna get me where I want to be and I dont want my clothes getting any tighter so I guess I need to try less harder which should be easier for my mind and body.
  • emshair
    emshair Posts: 20 Member
    IAmTheGlue wrote: »
    You have already gotten good advice here, but I wanted to add a suggestion. I’m highly active and I have days I need more food, especially if I have a bunch of unlogged exercise or I had a couple of under- eating days. Like my body is screaming “nourish me”.

    You have your calorie goal, your exercise calories, and then you have your actual maintenance calories… the number that you will not gain and not lose, merely hold steady. On those days my body needs more energy, I use my maintenance calories as the upper limit of my goal.

    Trying to force your body to run on less than you need is a bad idea, and like you said can lead to binges. Even slow progress is progress. Just keep going.

    I need to remember about my maintenance calories. its strange because when I eat within my calories It feels okay, I dont really feel starving or anything, The over eating just comes on out of nowhere but lasts for days which by then I forget about tracking my food as I've ate more than I can remember lol So If I up my calories then this might stop happening. I hate the out of control feeling when it happens. Thank you :)
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,724 Member
    emshair wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    emshair wrote: »
    I have no problem exercising, I do alot of cycling, workout dvds, walking, yoga. I am mostly cycling at the moment. I have myfitnesspal set on lightly active and have my garmin watch connected to myfitnesspal. For some reason I can eat within my calories but not for very long. I end up sort of binging, I wish I could stop this but I don't know how to. It's like I'm possessed or something. Or am I just week. Myfitnesspal recommends 1,522 then I eat back some calories back or mostly all of my exercise calories or somtimes I leave quite a few. If I didn't exercise and only ate 1,522 I wouldn't be able to do it for very long. Without losing control. I'm 45 years old 5ft 9ish and weigh about 11st8 atm. I would like my bmi to be a bit lower or weigh about 10st 7 to 10st 10. I just don't know how to do this without loss of control.

    One question, or maybe three:

    How fast are you trying to lose weight? At 11st 8 (162 pounds if my math is right) and 5'9", you're already within the normal BMI range (you're at 23.9, normal range is 18.5 to 24.9). I'm not saying you shouldn't want to be a little lighter. (I'm at 21.2, so it would hypocritical if I did say that, y'know? 😉)

    What I'm suggesting is that with a goal at 10st 7 (147 pounds), so only 15 pounds to lose, you'd probably be best off going for a slow loss rate, like a half pound a week. Yes, that's slow, could be frustrating, could take a long time to show up on the scale amongst routine daily water/digestive contents fluctuations . . . but it could be less difficult. Are you trying for faster than that now?

    Recently, with a similar amount to (re-)lose, I did it even more slowly than that - like a pound a month! - and it was virtually painless. It took months, I admit, but it worked, and for me, easier. (I just didn't have it in me to run a big calorie deficit for faster loss, at the time.)

    Even if you don't want to go as ultra-slowly as I did, it's useful to understand that researchers believe that we can only metabolize a certain amount of body fat per day per pound of fat on our body, and if we go beyond that, we'll tend to be burning other kinds of tissue, like muscle we'd prefer to keep. You may not be at that extreme, but the closer we get to it, the more likely our appetite hormones are to kick back, cause cravings, increase appetite, etc. The implication is that slower loss is a better plan, when close to goal weight. (Yup, I know, we pretty much all want to drop it like it's hot! 😆)

    A slower but more sustainable goal, in some cases, can even result in faster progress - in calendar terms - than an aggressive attempt that has binges and setbacks along the way. It's something to consider.

    In your circumstances, I'd definitely go with eating back all the exercise calories from your Garmin, at least for long enough to see if that works best. You don't have to eat them all the same day, you can save them up for when you're hungrier or for the weekend, or whatever. Bodies don't reset at midnight, even though MFP's diary does. I'd also observe - though it doesn't apply for most people - that a fitness tracker or MFP can underestimate some people's calorie needs (it does for me). Loss rate over 4-6 weeks should tell the story - if it's faster than targeted, once you're staying close to the estimated goals.

    I'd also ask whether your eating approach has you denying yourself foods you truly enjoy, with the idea that you should eat only "healthy" things. That, too, can trigger cravings/appetite/binging, through a sense of deprivation. It's complicated: Some people can moderate desired foods that are calorie dense, eat a bit of them sometimes and reduce cravings. Others are more all or nothing, can't moderate . . . and it can vary food by food. For sure, I can moderate some foods but am better off mostly eliminating others. Eating the ones I can moderate - eat in calorie-manageable amounts - helps me stay on track overall.

    Finally, how's your nutrition? There are a bunch of variables there, too. Some people find that eating mostly less processed foods is more filling, others that if they don't get enough proteins or fats they'll be hungry, and carb intake can cut either of two ways: Some people find their energy level tanks or appetite spikes if they don't eat carbs, while others find that eating carbs triggers cravings for more carbs. There's also a potential that getting a sub-par amount of some of the micronutrients can trigger cravings, and bizarrely enough, the cravings may be for foods that don't even contain those nutrients!

    Your heavy exercise schedule could also be a factor, especially if there's quite a bit of intense exercise in the mix, or your exercise frequency/duration has increased a lot fairly recently. Those things can cause fatigue, and fatigue triggers the body to seek out energy . . . in the form of food. That same potential makes stress (which is fatiguing) or poor sleep quality/quantity possible factors in appetite spikes, too.

    In my experience, successful weight loss involves a good bit of thoughtful analysis and problem-solving. The above are some variables I can think of that might play into what you're experiencing, but I'm speculating. Does any of that resonate?

    FWIW, in case it matters, I'm also female, active (mostly rowing and cycling), 5'5", around 128 pounds (9st 2) now, age 66, and in year 6+ of maintaining a healthy weight after losing from class 1 obese starting something over 7 years ago now.

    I suspect that this challenge will be something that you can think your way through, maybe try some different strategies, see if you can find better satiation or get better sleep, or whatever seems like it could be a factor. Wishing you success!

    Wow Thanks so much for taking the time to give me some great things to think about .
    I have MyFitnessPal set on 1lb per week which obviously is too hard for me to do. I know if i dont get a handle on it, my weight will just creep up and up. so I want a lower or mid range BMI.

    I Totally agree with you when you said this - [A slower but more sustainable goal, in some cases, can even result in faster progress - in calendar terms - than an aggressive attempt that has binges and setbacks along the way. It's something to consider].

    I dont restrict myself from any foods and eat quite healthy. Its just when I start using MyFitnessPal as I have many, many times lol I do well with my calories then out of the blue I lose it and I just cant stop myself from eating and I never feel full. So I end up giving in. Not knowing how I can do better. So I try again even more determined and yet again the same thing happens all the time. So I think I do need to try a more slower kinder way. Half a pound per week would have me at 1,772 calories that's set as lightly active maybe 1800 might be more doable and at least I know on a none exercise day I still have plenty of calories to play with. Do you think this would be a good Idea? and if I see no progress in a few weeks then try to drop a bit lower. I dont really know how to approach this but I know I need to make a decision and stick with it.

    Congratulations on your success, You are obviously an amazingly strong woman!! And to be able to get this far and keep up with your fitness. you are great a role model.

    I am going to keep reading through these replies so I can Absorb all the excellent advice. Thanks for taking the time to reply to me xxx

    To the bolded: You may not want to hear this, but it's possible that it could take more than a few weeks, depending on how few.

    I use a weight trending app**, which uses statistical techniques (fancy averaging) to try to estimate fat loss progress amongst the ups and downs of daily weigh-ins (that are mostly about water weight and digestive contents, not fat). When I was losing slowly, there was a whole month when even the trending app thought I was at best maintaining or maybe even gaining, when I was confident I was losing.

    Sure enough, after maybe 6 weeks of that nonsense, there was a sudden bigger scale drop, showing me as on the path I was confident I was on. (I've been logging long enough to understand my calorie needs pretty well, and to trust my logging routines.)

    If you're just watching scale weights (no app), and especially if you're weighing in less frequently, slow fat loss could be even more masked on the bodyweight scale by random water/digestive-contents effects. They play peek-a-boo - water, digestive contents, body fat - on the scale. It can be frustrating, but it helps to understand the potential, I think.

    Two months, maybe, to be sure? If you're still having menstrual periods, for sure go long enough to compare your weight at the same relative point in at least two different monthly cycles.

    ** Examples, in case you're interested, are Happy Scale for iOS/Apple, Libra for Android, Trendweight with a free Fitbit account (don't need a device), Weightgrapher on the web. I'm sure there are others. I use Libra.

    From some of your other remarks on the thread, you might find benefits in that "eat anything up to estimated maintenance calories" option. Eat more (up to maintenance) when hungry, eat less when not as hungry. That, too, may take a very long time to show up on the scale, but it should work in the many weeks to months span.

    Yet another weight management you could consider is some form of "calorie banking". That means getting a weight-loss calorie goal, then deliberately eating a little under it most days (not a huge amount, maybe 100-150 calories under), in order to have extra calories to spend on an indulgent meal or day now and then. I do this in maintenance, in a random pattern (I'm retired), but some people use a weekday/weekend scheme, eating a little less on the weekdays. It's still calorie counting.

    There's also a very specific form of intermittent fasting (IF) that works well for some people, but I don't know whether it would work for you. The basic idea is eating very low calories 2 days a week (ideally non-workout days), then maintenance the rest of the week. The low calories would be very low, like maybe 500 calories. This isn't for everyone for sure, wouldn't be for me, but there are some very level-headed athletic people here who use this strategy to get back in range when their weight creeps up.

    Those are just a few ideas.

    Also, thank you for your kind remarks . . . but I'm nothing special. Improving and maintaining fitness, reaching and maintaining a healthy weight: Those are things I think anyone can do if they're willing to commit themselves to it, be patient and persistent, seek easy (easier) routes rather than seeking fast/extreme ones, focus on analysis and problem solving rather than angst and guilt, focus on the aspects of a situation they can influence or control rather than spending mental emotional bandwidth of resenting relatively immoveable obstacles. Those things are skill we all have, but also skills we can improve to serve us better.

    Best wishes!


  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,724 Member
    edited September 2022
    emshair wrote: »
    IAmTheGlue wrote: »
    You have already gotten good advice here, but I wanted to add a suggestion. I’m highly active and I have days I need more food, especially if I have a bunch of unlogged exercise or I had a couple of under- eating days. Like my body is screaming “nourish me”.

    You have your calorie goal, your exercise calories, and then you have your actual maintenance calories… the number that you will not gain and not lose, merely hold steady. On those days my body needs more energy, I use my maintenance calories as the upper limit of my goal.

    Trying to force your body to run on less than you need is a bad idea, and like you said can lead to binges. Even slow progress is progress. Just keep going.

    I need to remember about my maintenance calories. its strange because when I eat within my calories It feels okay, I dont really feel starving or anything, The over eating just comes on out of nowhere but lasts for days which by then I forget about tracking my food as I've ate more than I can remember lol So If I up my calories then this might stop happening. I hate the out of control feeling when it happens. Thank you :)

    You might want to give some thought not only to the non-food factors (sleep, stress, over-exercise, etc.) but also to the psychological side of this. What role or function do you think these episodes play in your thinking or your life? Can you find patterns? Could the episodes be related to thoughts about deprivation/reward ("I've worked hard, I deserve a treat"), boredom, compensating for some obstacle in your life, or anything of that nature?

    If the root cause isn't actually food or nutrition, the true solution isn't in eating routines.

    While I haven't read it myself, I've seen others (level-headed people) recommend "The Beck Diet Solution" as a book that uses tools from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help people understand eating pattern issues, and find new solutions. It's just a thought. I think well of that sort of think, have used psychotherapy interventions in other parts of my life (seen a psychologist, used self-help tools from that realm). My over-eating history doesn't really fall into a pattern that fits those solutions, though.

    There are some other books I've seen folks here recommend, too, but that one comes to mind.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,724 Member
    emshair wrote: »
    88olds wrote: »
    How long have you been trying to lose weight? How much does the calculator say you should lose in a week with your current set up?

    A high level of fitness combined with weight loss works on tight margins. Also you are close to goal weight. Losses can be hard to get close to goal. I went through a phase where I was not fueling my workouts properly. I would go flying out of the gym (possessed) to the nearest fast food place and scarf down whatever I thought I would get the fastest. Not good.

    Maybe an experiment. Can you calculate the number to maintain where you are now? Can you make a plan to hit that number and actually stick to it? Drawing red lines and then crossing them is destructive. It drains our confidence. Once you have control of the process, can you look around for some modifications to things you like to eat that cut some calories? I wouldn’t consider any plan aimed at losing more than 1/2 lb per week. If you can keep control of the process and post modest losses, its just a matter of time until you get to goal. Right now your brain may be screaming that 1/2 lb per week is too slow, but according to your post, your current plan will never get you to goal. Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. People tend to go all in on the deficit part and try to beat themselves into living with it. Weakness doesn’t have anything to do with it. It’s a matter of problem solving and persistence. Good luck.

    Thank you so much for your reply. I was set for a 1lb per week loss. Ive been trying on and off for quite a few years but the older I am getting my weight is getting higher. I dont want to be Skinny just middle or slightly lower BMI. I agree my current plan is never gonna get me where I want to be and I dont want my clothes getting any tighter so I guess I need to try less harder which should be easier for my mind and body.

    It's highly unlikely that this is some metabolic thing about aging. Metabolism - in the strict sense of being the summation of energy spent via biochemical processes to keep us alive - generally doesn't change much from our 20s to our 60s, according to recent research. Abstract here:

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/343854yo00/

    What does change sooner? Potentially our muscle mass, our overall fitness, and our daily life activity level.

    If we don't keep challenging our muscles, they weaken and shrink over time. It's so subtle and gradual that we don't even notice. A pound of muscle burns a small number of extra calories per day, compared to a pound of fat - estimates are in the range of maybe 2-6 or so calories per pound per day, which is pretty trivial. But more importantly, as we lose muscle, we get weaker. Movement gets harder, less fun. Maybe we then move even less, compound the problem.

    If we yo-yo diet in typical ways, we can worsen that effect. (Typical = big calorie deficit for fast loss, lots of cardio, possibly not getting enough protein at those low calories besides, maybe little/no strength exercise because it doesn't burn a lot of calories . . . followed by regain with little/no exercise, high calories but maybe still not enough protein. That's a recipe for muscle loss.)

    Some of the stuff in the paragraph before last also applies to general fitness: Ignore it, and movement gets harder, less fun . . . so we do less movement. Rinse and repeat, calorie expenditure decreases. I'm not just talking exercise calories, I'm talking daily life. If it's less easy/fun to move, we may simplify our household chores, hire out more services, give up non-exercise hobbies that involve movement, etc.

    Another thing that happens to many people is that we simply do less of active things as we age, partly because of the above, and partly because of common life patterns.

    I don't know about you, but as I went from my 20s to my 40s and beyond (to 66 now), my basic lifestyle tended to get less active. In my college years, I walked everywhere for transportation (or rode my bike), played active games with my friends or danced and such for fun, had a physical job. Even in my early professional years post-college, my jobs tended to involve more movement, but gradually involved more sitting over the decades. Early on, I was doing home improvement projects more, working on getting yard/garden in good shape, cooking at home more vs. eating out, and doing some home maintenance chores that I now hire out. For me, all of that stuff added up.

    In addition, I was doing more social eating alongside the less-active daily life stuff, with portion creep, the creep toward richer foods. It all adds up, and the weight creeps on.

    It's pretty easy to create a negative down-spiral as we age, from all of the above. I did, for sure. At your current age, 45, I was obese, almost completely inactive, physically depleted, recovering from cancer treatment (surgery, chemo, radiation, more) and just diagnosed as severely hypothyroid. (I felt older than I do now, for sure.)

    The good news is that all of that stuff is almost entirely under our personal control, so we can change it: Add strength-challenging exercise. Do other exercise (cardiovascular, flexibility) for general fitness. Get good overall nutrition (especially but not exclusively protein). Increase daily life activity intentionally.

    By the way, there's a thread here about increasing daily life activity. You might get some ideas from it, since many MFP-ers shared their ideas:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10610953/neat-improvement-strategies-to-improve-weight-loss/p1

    Another thought, about avoiding weight creep: A lot of successful maintainers here set a strict intervention weight limit. That is, goal is a range of a few pounds (maybe 3-5) that encompasses normal daily fluctuations. Once above that range - maybe just for a day, maybe for 3 days in a row or something - they take action to creep or cut their weight back down to the lower end of the range again. It's pretty easy to lose a few pounds. Let it go until it's 20 or more? Not so easy.

    I'm lazier than that, and less motivated. My recent slow down-creep was triggered when my jeans started getting a little snug over top of my Winter long underwear. I hate to clothes-shop with fiery intensity, so I knew I needed to creep my weight back down again. 🤣 That was 10-15ish pounds, which is really too wide an intervention range . . . but it worked out.

    Man, I gotta stop writing these essays!
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
    You have had some really good contributions.

    I'd just like to add that it really isn't compulsory to shoot for an everyday deficit, maybe especially when nibbling away the last few pounds.

    I find an erratic deficit with many days at or around maintenance far easier to sustain and also have higher energy levels for my exercise and daily life. At exactly the same average deficit over an extended period of time an everyday deficit would be dull, boring, frustrating, interferes with my social life and far harder to sustain for me.

    There's loads of alternatives from odd days of deficit to week on / week off, month on / month off depending on what period you can manage before your loss of control kicks in. Taking control doesn't have to mean a white knuckle test of determination.

    If your fallback position is maintenance ANY deficit moves you towards your goal.
  • emshair
    emshair Posts: 20 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    You have had some really good contributions.

    I'd just like to add that it really isn't compulsory to shoot for an everyday deficit, maybe especially when nibbling away the last few pounds.

    I find an erratic deficit with many days at or around maintenance far easier to sustain and also have higher energy levels for my exercise and daily life. At exactly the same average deficit over an extended period of time an everyday deficit would be dull, boring, frustrating, interferes with my social life and far harder to sustain for me.

    There's loads of alternatives from odd days of deficit to week on / week off, month on / month off depending on what period you can manage before your loss of control kicks in. Taking control doesn't have to mean a white knuckle test of determination.

    If your fallback position is maintenance ANY deficit moves you towards your goal.

    Thank you :smile: This is definitely something to consider as well. You are right, it would be a bit like having rest days/weeks from workouts! I also want to keep my energy levels high for my day to life and workouts. Too much of a deficit everyday is like you say dull, boring and frustrating. I've been given a lot of food for thought from you all (very grateful for everyone's help) I'm certainly coming back to this thread to have a good read through it all. I like what you said that if my fallback is maintenance then any deficit is moving me towards my goal. my mind was like any calorie over my 1lb per week goal was a failure and it wasn't getting me very far. I have certainly been white knuckling for far to long and its been a waste of energy as I always end up back at square one. I have spent loads of time and energy calculating and weighing everything and exercising my butt off and getting nowhere.