What is up with the "too old" mindset (at least in the US)?
Replies
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@neanderthin and @HoneyBadger302, love the bikes and the dialogue. My purchase of my Honda GB500 in May was the impetus for my current 25lb. weight loss. My gear did not fit and I wanted to look sexy on my sexy bike. This 53-year old female is flying in the face of 'old'. A term which I think is very relative, and very much about mindset!3
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Women carry a lot of undiagnosed health conditions such as hypothyroidism, PCOS, fibromyalgia, that cause weight gain, hormonal imbalance, and crushing fatigue. Because they don't get diagnosed properly, women who are burnt out assume it is the new normal and accept it. Men are more likely to receive medical investigation whereas women are told it's mental health and hormones and suck it up. Also, men's bodies don't get screwed up by baby growing and birth and lack of sleep.
As well as these cases where they have given up because literally nothing works, there are people taking eg psychiatric and seizure medication, and steroids, for whom attempting weight loss is useless because of side effect weight gain.
Also, after 40, or at any age, you are well within your rights to not want to put your energy and thoughts into weight loss, and MFP members version of an ideal and healthy body.
The important thing is that people are happy. MFP members aren't content to carry extra weight. Other people are. Either that or they find weight loss attempts useless whether due to eg poorly managed hypothyroidism or using food as an emotional crux or life taking all their energy to survive , none left for weight loss effort.
Your mum doesn't have the same goals as you. Or she may even have an undiagnosed fatiguing or weight gain condition.0 -
Women carry a lot of undiagnosed health conditions such as hypothyroidism, PCOS, fibromyalgia, that cause weight gain, hormonal imbalance, and crushing fatigue. Because they don't get diagnosed properly, women who are burnt out assume it is the new normal and accept it. Men are more likely to receive medical investigation whereas women are told it's mental health and hormones and suck it up. Also, men's bodies don't get screwed up by baby growing and birth and lack of sleep.
As well as these cases where they have given up because literally nothing works, there are people taking eg psychiatric and seizure medication, and steroids, for whom attempting weight loss is useless because of side effect weight gain.
Also, after 40, or at any age, you are well within your rights to not want to put your energy and thoughts into weight loss, and MFP members version of an ideal and healthy body.
The important thing is that people are happy. MFP members aren't content to carry extra weight. Other people are. Either that or they find weight loss attempts useless whether due to eg poorly managed hypothyroidism or using food as an emotional crux or life taking all their energy to survive , none left for weight loss effort.
Your mum doesn't have the same goals as you. Or she may even have an undiagnosed fatiguing or weight gain condition.
Wow. That is an awfully negative view of life and medical interventions. I have had doctors with whom I don't agree, but my healthcare and my nutrition are ultimately up to me to manage.
I don't agree with your points - at all.
There is always a solution to weight and mental health issues. I hope you find yours.
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I don't think it's just an American thing. Maybe a generational thing? I'm first generation born in the U.S. and grew up in an immigrant family where 50 seemed to be the deadline for any physical activity. There was never a time in my life when I wasn't hearing "you do this thing because I am too old." Consequently, by the time my mother was 60 she could no longer go up and down the stairs in her own home. She was dead at 63. That was a lot of my motivation to do better for myself. I'm 48 now and I lift weights, ride horses, train flexibility, and take pole dancing classes. I've even competed.
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I don’t know where the mindset comes from, but, after years of buying into the myth of not being able to lose weight as easily after 40, I found MFP. The success stories of older people here inspired me to try. March 12, 2012 started MFP @290 pounds with doctors supervision, at age 60. February 10, 2013 down -140 pounds. Went on to lose 10 pounds more by that summer. Been at around 135 since fall of 2013. I’ll be 71 on Friday.12
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Huge congrats and Happy Birthday, @missysippy930 !1
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I'm physically disabled (walk with crutches), and have been told all my life to not do too much physically. I gained a lot of weight, and about 12 years ago I decided not to listen to the doctors, and started walking, 1/4 mile to start, every other day, and lost over 50 lbs. I need to keep up my strength so I can continue to live and do the things I want to do. So many disabled people give up and have pain, I think because they just sit all day doing nothing. I don't have pain, period. If I do, it is usually my lower back or hips, and walking helps alleviate it. So I lift weights and walk as much as I can.
My mother died this last February from complications from diabetes, because she refused to change her diet, do any minimal exercise (wouldn't even follow through with physical therapy after strokes she would have) because she just said it was too hard. If I get diabetes, it won't be because I didn't try everything in my power not to. People just want the easy way out, lazy way out, and won't even try.9 -
It’s definitely a mindset issue. My mother is 80 and very sedentary. She is becoming more frail and is very afraid of falling. I’ve tried encouraging her to go for walks around her condo with a friend. Or do little weight bearing exercise routines at home. She doesn’t want to do it. Meanwhile, my 85 yr old MIL is pretty active. Goes for regular walks and does pool exercise classes where she lives. I plan to stay as active as I can while I age. I will be one of those senior hikers. And, at 53 I just bought roller skates.
Ooh! Ooh! @Sumiblue , pick me! I'm 54 and bought roller skates during the pandemic because my daughter wanted someone to skate with. (Then she went off to grad school half way across the country!)
My own mom is 87 and walks 3-4 miles several times a week. My dad is 88 and sedentary as a log (although unbelievably healthy). I try to keep th mindset that I'm doing what I do so that I can do what I want to do when I want to do it. So I hike, swim, walk, sometimes run, and so resistance training. My center of gravity is kind of crummy, so there are things that I don't like (cycling in particular), but I can't imagine not doing anything, although for decades, I did just that
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I don't think this is a U.S. only thing at all. Different cultures within the U.S. are not the same. Different cultures outside the U.S. are not the same. There are many sedentary cultures in old age outside the U.S. There are many active cultures in old age inside the U.S.
But I also disagree with the premise of the thread that you don't lose a step as you get older. I try to stay active and fully plan to die from some cause other than old age (like an activity), but at almost 35 and in generally decent shape with good activity I cannot even remotely pull off the crap I was doing at 20 in generally poor shape, but very active (like drinking hard til 3am, swimming laps at 6am, going to class at 9am until about 1pm then going to practice at 3pm, then a late class from 6pm-8pm then maybe drinking again). Now, I have a couple drinks from 8pm-10pm and I'm passed out on the couch.2 -
Yeah, totally disagree here. Regardless of any malady someone has, anyone can lose weight IF THEY REALLY WANT TO. The reality boils down on whether it really is a priority or not. For the majority of people, it's not.Women carry a lot of undiagnosed health conditions such as hypothyroidism, PCOS, fibromyalgia, that cause weight gain, hormonal imbalance, and crushing fatigue. Because they don't get diagnosed properly, women who are burnt out assume it is the new normal and accept it. Men are more likely to receive medical investigation whereas women are told it's mental health and hormones and suck it up. Also, men's bodies don't get screwed up by baby growing and birth and lack of sleep.
As well as these cases where they have given up because literally nothing works, there are people taking eg psychiatric and seizure medication, and steroids, for whom attempting weight loss is useless because of side effect weight gain.
Also, after 40, or at any age, you are well within your rights to not want to put your energy and thoughts into weight loss, and MFP members version of an ideal and healthy body.
The important thing is that people are happy. MFP members aren't content to carry extra weight. Other people are. Either that or they find weight loss attempts useless whether due to eg poorly managed hypothyroidism or using food as an emotional crux or life taking all their energy to survive , none left for weight loss effort.
Your mum doesn't have the same goals as you. Or she may even have an undiagnosed fatiguing or weight gain condition.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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It's an American thing. Other countries where people have to be more active, work later into their lives to survive, etc. don't have the same weight issues at similar ages.Mouse_Potato wrote: »I don't think it's just an American thing. Maybe a generational thing? I'm first generation born in the U.S. and grew up in an immigrant family where 50 seemed to be the deadline for any physical activity. There was never a time in my life when I wasn't hearing "you do this thing because I am too old." Consequently, by the time my mother was 60 she could no longer go up and down the stairs in her own home. She was dead at 63. That was a lot of my motivation to do better for myself. I'm 48 now and I lift weights, ride horses, train flexibility, and take pole dancing classes. I've even competed.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I am currently training a client with cerebral palsy. He comes in because he's seeing strength gains and it makes him feel so much better about himself.musicfan68 wrote: »I'm physically disabled (walk with crutches), and have been told all my life to not do too much physically. I gained a lot of weight, and about 12 years ago I decided not to listen to the doctors, and started walking, 1/4 mile to start, every other day, and lost over 50 lbs. I need to keep up my strength so I can continue to live and do the things I want to do. So many disabled people give up and have pain, I think because they just sit all day doing nothing. I don't have pain, period. If I do, it is usually my lower back or hips, and walking helps alleviate it. So I lift weights and walk as much as I can.
My mother died this last February from complications from diabetes, because she refused to change her diet, do any minimal exercise (wouldn't even follow through with physical therapy after strokes she would have) because she just said it was too hard. If I get diabetes, it won't be because I didn't try everything in my power not to. People just want the easy way out, lazy way out, and won't even try.
Kudos to you for not giving in.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I think things start deteriorating much earlier so that in many cases by the time someone is 40 it's pretty bad. Basically as soon as you get out of college you learn the fine art of sitting unless you happen to be in an active occupation. But for the most part it becomes, sit and commute for an hour in the car...work for 8-10 hrs sitting...sit and commute another hour home in your car. Get home and sit down and relax. Rinse and repeat 5 days per week.
I could put myself right there when I was 38 and started getting my stuff together. I actually had a lot of interests that involved physical activity that I engaged in regularly in my youth and in college but fell by the wayside once I started my career and ceased to make time for them. By the time I was 38 I was pretty well convinced that there would be a lot of things I'd never really be able to do again because I would try and it would just cause pain or I was out of breath. My knees were pretty creaky and one of my main hinderances to doing much of anything physically active, even though no Dr could really find anything wrong with them.
The hardest part was just starting out slow and allowing myself time to build up to things. But after some time I found that my aches and pains went away because I was actually using my body and slowly but surely I was back to doing those things that I very much enjoyed earlier in life.
I think it also must be more difficult for people who don't necessarily have interests that involve physical activity and perhaps never have. I have a friend that I've known since middle school and he's always been the same. He can't comprehend what could be so fun about going for a hike or kayaking the river or lake or mountain biking a trail, etc. Never mind going to a gym or something like that. I also find it interesting that most of my friends who are my age (48) and still active and fit and healthy are by and large just recreationally active...I'm actually one of the only gym goers in my IRL circle of friends...but they're all in very good shape.
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I'm in the US and I don't know anyone in their 40's who think there to old for anything let alone exercise and when I was I did plenty of exercise, now in my 50 plus years I continue to exercise and eat right, so your stats don't apply to everyone in the USA. I've lost weight and even got fitter coming into my 50's. Can't speak for others in their 40's if that is truthfully their attitude but it's a poor one, it could have to do with having to work a lot just to survive here and afford to eat and when eating people choose to eat out alot and it's mostly just fast food which is not a healthy thing to do. They don't get exercise packs on the pounds and to tired to do anything about it.2
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Travel to the midwest and southern states and you'll see a different type of population of people who in their 40's are in the high 200's +lbscaliforniagirl1969 wrote: »I'm in the US and I don't know anyone in their 40's who think there to old for anything let alone exercise and when I was I did plenty of exercise, now in my 50 plus years I continue to exercise and eat right, so your stats don't apply to everyone in the USA. I've lost weight and even got fitter coming into my 50's. Can't speak for others in their 40's if that is truthfully their attitude but it's a poor one, it could have to do with having to work a lot just to survive here and afford to eat and when eating people choose to eat out alot and it's mostly just fast food which is not a healthy thing to do. They don't get exercise packs on the pounds and to tired to do anything about it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Travel to the midwest and southern states and you'll see a different type of population of people who in their 40's are in the high 200's +lbscaliforniagirl1969 wrote: »I'm in the US and I don't know anyone in their 40's who think there to old for anything let alone exercise and when I was I did plenty of exercise, now in my 50 plus years I continue to exercise and eat right, so your stats don't apply to everyone in the USA. I've lost weight and even got fitter coming into my 50's. Can't speak for others in their 40's if that is truthfully their attitude but it's a poor one, it could have to do with having to work a lot just to survive here and afford to eat and when eating people choose to eat out alot and it's mostly just fast food which is not a healthy thing to do. They don't get exercise packs on the pounds and to tired to do anything about it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes, this mindset was less prevalent on the west coast, but the entire midwest (north to south) and southeast - there are always exceptions, and plenty of folks who don't succumb to it, but there is still a pervading mindset that because you're over 40 you can't do x, y, or z (I see it all the time in my sport and that community - some folks definitely buck that mindset, but the general attitude is that you are pretty obsolete past about 35 (even though a number of people have proven that to be incorrect even on the world stage).0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »
I think it also must be more difficult for people who don't necessarily have interests that involve physical activity and perhaps never have. I have a friend that I've known since middle school and he's always been the same. He can't comprehend what could be so fun about going for a hike or kayaking the river or lake or mountain biking a trail, etc. Never mind going to a gym or something like that. I also find it interesting that most of my friends who are my age (48) and still active and fit and healthy are by and large just recreationally active...I'm actually one of the only gym goers in my IRL circle of friends...but they're all in very good shape.
I was one of those people, other than walking. I've always been an avid walker. But there are 4 or 5 months of the year here where walking isn't pleasant so it's very seasonal.
Hated sports as a youngster so avoided them as much as possible. I was (still am!) clumsy and uncoordinated and not the least bit competitive so I didn't try harder as I had absolutely no interest in winning. Didn't take PE in high school. Had a couple of years of a semi-active job during undergrad but after uni I've been at a desk. The only things that saved me were a) not being overweight b) owning a house and doing all the regular maintenance like lawn mowing and snow shovelling, plus things like painting and minor renos.
I was 48 when I finally decided I had to take on some deliberate exercise, specifically resistance training because I had to look after my bones.
TLDR; it's never too late to start being active.
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When I was 50 I mentioned to a friend I was sick of being fat and was told 'You wear it well, you don't look fat. Besides at your age, no one is ever going to look at you.'
I didn't lose weight until 52. I told myself no excuses.
I lost 110lbs.
I didn't start running until I was almost 54 a few years after I lost the weight.
I ran 1 my first public run that year, a 5K, and I was so proud.
Now I run 5K most days, often 8-10K a day.
I do it for fun.
I was 'too old', not in body, in mind.
For decades.
I changed my mind, then changed my body.
Now I'm still too old but do what I want anyway. I hope I'm too old for 30 years or more. I'm looking forward to retirement so I can be more active because I have more time.
My grandfather died at 54.
I started running at 54.
I know I'm not better, I made a different choice.
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I think some of that is regional. I used to live in the Midwest, central Indiana all my life. We have lived in Florida for the past nearly 6 years and the amount of old, old people who are living active full lives is just lovely. I see them when I’m walking my dogs riding their bikes, running, walking their little dogs… It wasn’t like that where I’m from. Actually maybe it’s the concentration of that elderly here? I don’t know but I like it. I like to see people out gardening and biking and laying out in the sun…. just living their lives instead of waiting to die.
I am almost 46 (in a few days) and I refuse to go down the path of my mother who has made every wrong decision for her health. I absolutely REFUSE to do that to myself or my husband or my kids . I am working on my fitness every single day. I tell my kids that when I’m old and you are looking for me, look at the Tia Chi class at the community center or
Water Aerobics… I am not doing what my mom is doing because it’s heartbreaking and you feel absolutely helpless to watch someone destroy themselves with food and inactivity.
10-12 years ago the doctor told my mom to get up once an hour, maybe between television programs, and walk down her little hallway, not even 10 feet total. She literally told him no. She was too tired to get up and walk 10 feet. Fast forward a decade + and guess what happened… it pisses me off.
You have a choice. It affects a lot of people besides yourself. I’m not denying that aging sucks or anything. I’m saying you can still improve. I have two rare autoimmune (bile duct)liver diseases. I’m already in cirrhosis so while that sucks and I can’t necessarily fix my liver I can and am building wellness in my body. I’m making sure I’m living a heart healthy, bone and muscle building lifestyle. I’m building wellness so should it come to a liver transplant, I’m as healthy as I can be. I’m down well over a hundred pounds and I am not stopping.
I don’t want to fit in a certain size or a cute outfit. I just want to live. I want to be strong and fit.11
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