Poor female self-image caused by?

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Ladyhawk00
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Thank you for putting it back up! :flowerforyou:

I have poor self image from the comments my husband makes about how hot and beautiful some celebs are-guess cause he doesn't say it to me it gives me that poor imagery

There was a study done a few months back (I heard about it from the Dan Savage Podcast) about what kind of porn guys will watch, specifically an underweight/low healthy BMI to high healthy BMI/overweight, guys watch porn with bigger women, hands down was the end conclusion.

The other thing to consider though, a lot of those guys are watching porn about bigger girls but not dating them, guys are also feeling pressure from friends to date thin girls.

What really bothered me about this post, no offense to the OP, but the assumption that eating disorders are to make a person's body appealing to OTHER people. Eating disorders often stem from trauma, and skewed vision of what one looks like, it has very little, at least my eating disorder, had very little to do with society.

YOUR eating disorder may have come from trauma but look at society and tell me that they have all had traumatic experiences and now the are underweight and unhealthy...

Sorry, my eating disorder, the eating disorders of the girls in my group sessions/and other friends have a connection to having sexual abuse/rape in our history, eating disorders are a common consequence of such a thing. A true eating disorder is a distorted sense of self image, seeing only fat when looking in the mirror, it has nothing to do with the way other people see them, it's psychological. Maybe YOU should look at society and see how rampant sex crimes/childhood trauma against women are, might make what I've said make more sense. I never said all eating disorders stemmed from trauma, I said often.

i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.

now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause

I tend to somewhat agree that its the fashion and as you said coke *kitten* models, as they are so iconic and held on a pedastool. What girl doesn't want to be put up on a pedastool? But, I think there is more to it than just that. That would only fit for a few girls.

There are also girls whose words are colliding and crashing down all around them, and they feel completely out of control and lost. The ONE thing they KNOW they can control is food. (I do speak from experience). The decision to eat or not eat gives the person a sense of power and they feel they have gained back some sort of control in their otherwise spun out world. Its not healthy and can be scary, especially to loved ones, especially when the girl begins to like what she sees, or worse, still thinks she is still too big, when everyone else sees a bag of bones.

I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.

...Men have Calvin Cline models with their millions of abs. That is attainable. Pretty much anybody can get a 6-pack through work and dedication...

...Women, otoh, have impossible goals to reach...

...Far too much Photoshop has morphed women into inhuman things...

Just my opinion, but that seems very one sided. Photoshop happens on the Calvin Cline adds as well.

If million of abs are attainable for guys through work and dedication, then wafer-thin is just as attainable for women.

The standards are high for both sexes.

Photoshop.

No, really. Photoshop.

Every ad, every billboard, every magazine has been heavily 'shopped. It's not obvious (most of the time), so one is lead to believe that those people actually do look like that. Celebrities and other people in the media are used by society as a marker of what one should aspire to be. Men have Calvin Cline models with their millions of abs. That is attainable. Pretty much anybody can get a 6-pack through work and dedication.

Women, otoh, have impossible goals to reach. There are a select number of women who can naturally reach the pedestal. The overwhelming majority of women will find it physically impossible to look like someone off of a magazine cover. Those women on the magazines don't even look like the picture. Far too much Photoshop has morphed women into inhuman things.

When you set physically unattainable goals, which is essentially what society has done through media outlets, then you're just going to fail over and over. Then you're a failure. Then you hate your body because you're not perfect like women in magazines.

While I think you have a bit of a point on who is controlling the fashion industry, I think that runs secondary to the media's role in setting unattainable goals of beauty for women.

There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

i was having this argument with this friend of mine... she believes that men are the reason for girls having eating disorders and overall poor self image because we all want girls to look like models... i, on the other hand, believe that it was the women and gay guys who control the fashion industry that started this trend only recently... and by recently i mean that for thousands of years guys have liked girls with larger features because they are able to have more babies... even up to marilyn monroe who had a healthy amount of chunk on her... I for one like a little meat on a woman's bones, nothing is more unattractive that a stick figure.

now girls today sees this female run fashion industry with coke *kitten* models and think thats what theyre supposed to look like... guys may be watching this too and think thats what theyre supposed to think is hot, but it is an effect rather than a cause

I tend to somewhat agree that its the fashion and as you said coke *kitten* models, as they are so iconic and held on a pedastool. What girl doesn't want to be put up on a pedastool? But, I think there is more to it than just that. That would only fit for a few girls.

There are also girls whose words are colliding and crashing down all around them, and they feel completely out of control and lost. The ONE thing they KNOW they can control is food. (I do speak from experience). The decision to eat or not eat gives the person a sense of power and they feel they have gained back some sort of control in their otherwise spun out world. Its not healthy and can be scary, especially to loved ones, especially when the girl begins to like what she sees, or worse, still thinks she is still too big, when everyone else sees a bag of bones.

I once went 2 weeks after a crushing life experience where I would think I was hungry, get the food and the sight of it almost made me vomit. I would clean food out of the refigerator, because I didn't like seeing it. This is no joke, no lie and not something I am at all proud of, but it happened. Please don't tell me it can't happen, because it did. Clealy I drank water and cokes, but I did not eat food. Thank goodness I was able to pull out of that "funk" and get back to enjoying food again - it was scary, even for me.

You don't have to feel bad about appetite loss after a traumatic event. The brain deals with stress in strange ways at times. Posttraumatic stress is a very well documented condition. The loss of appetite is not uncommon in this circumstance. I'm glad you recovered and I hope all is well now.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder:
Virtually any trauma, defined as an event that is life-threatening or that severely compromises the emotional well-being of an individual or causes intense fear, may cause PTSD. Such events often include either experiencing or witnessing a severe accident or physical injury, receiving a life-threatening medical diagnosis, being the victim of kidnapping or torture, exposure to war combat or to a natural disaster, exposure to other disaster (for example, plane crash) or terrorist attack, being the victim of rape, mugging, robbery, or assault, enduring physical, sexual, emotional, or other forms of abuse, as well as involvement in civil conflict. Although the diagnosis of PTSD currently requires that the sufferer has a history of experiencing a traumatic event as defined here, people may develop PTSD in reaction to events that may not qualify as traumatic but can be devastating life events like divorce or unemployment

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.

I agree with most of the previous posts but I also want to make note that there are some women who are personally attacked for being thin. If you don't want people to talk **** to you for being over weight you shouldn't talk **** to girls that are thin. There is a huge difference between being thin and healthy and being so thin its unhealthy. Skinny girls aren't to blame. Its SELF esteem aka it stems from you. No one else can control how you feel, only you can control how you feel.

I have poor self image from the comments my husband makes about how hot and beautiful some celebs are-guess cause he doesn't say it to me it gives me that poor imagery

Hate to be a victim blamer but... isn't it kind of their own fault? Sure, you see gals on magazines and etc but you ultimately determine how you let it affect you. There's a sizable portion of chicks out there who don't care what is on a magazine or runway and instead decide for themselves what makes them look good/is acceptable. Just because stuff like that is out there doesn't mean you have to embrace it.