When you realize…..

Exercise is for health and fitness. The occasional treat while lacking in nutritional merit is good for the soul. The idea is to develop healthy exercise and eating habit rather than practicing asceticism.

I can't prove anything to you, in the sense of convincing you that you ought to live in some different way. That's your call.

What I can say: I've been at a healthy weight for nearly 7 years now (after around 30 previous years of overweight/obesity). All of my health markers are good (blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.).

I'm athletically active, have been for a couple of decades (yes starting while still obese). I'm 66 y/o, and my Garmin fitness tracker estimates my fitness age as 27. (I think that's nutty as a literal thing, but I think still indicative that I'm not physically decrepit.) In my fitness activities, I'm regularly keeping up with people half my age, no problem.

The chocolate truffles I ate yesterday, the beer and pizza I ate on Sunday - those aren't going to cause any worrisome setbacks. I very much enjoyed them, zero qualms or guilt. I don't eat those every day, but things like that aren't vanishingly rare, either.

FWIW, my workouts are pretty fun in themselves - rowing boats (the skinny ones like in the Olympics, although mine is slower! 😆), cycling, and more . . . not arduous "work" that I'm worried about canceling out by eating something sweet, rich, salty or deep-fried once in a while.

By all means, do what works best for you. I'll be cheering from the sidelines, sincerely. Success speaks for itself, and the definition is both subjective and individual.

I'll keep doing what works for me, too - not trying to prove anything, because there's nothing to prove.

This skates very close to my most hated weight loss "motivational" phrase - that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". It implies that exercise is for burning off calories consumed. I exercise for strength, speed, health and endorphins. I eat tasty foods, even the ones that are not nutritionally brilliant, for sustenance and enjoyment. The two are neither codependent, nor mutually exclusive.

glassyo wrote: »

I, unlike the rest of the good people in here, absolutely exercise so I CAN eat "junk" food.

Or maybe it's so I'll have calories for the "healthy" foods.

I absolutely enjoy seeing the calorie count that I have available to splurge at the end of a workout. I spend it every single time! I have a calorie counter on my e-bike that I check in on. I had let my battery drain and forgot to charge it, so I was able to only bike 8 miles (very low milage on an ebike), but I did it so I "could" eat cake. Of course, I "can" eat cake whenever I want, but with those few extra calories, it fit in my day. Win-win!

Gaaab7 wrote: »

That NO junk food is WORTH eating after putting in so much work during a workout. Prove me wrong. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fries and ice cream are WORTH IT. I just count them into my daily intake. Proven.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

If that's how you feel about it, then no one's going to "prove" you wrong. It's a personal preference, not a "right or wrong".

Personally, I eat a variety of foods that I like...some have more nutritional value than others, and some are just treats that I have in moderation.

I have cut out some foods that are not worth the calories to me. It has nothing to do with hard workouts or anything...I just decided that I don't want to spend my calories on something that I'm not particularly fond of.

For example....bagged factory cookies (i.e. Oreos) are not worth it to me. Homemade or bakery cookies ARE worth it to me, even if they have more calories than the pre-packaged ones.

sugarfreesquirrel wrote: »

I am honestly so sick of people in my life telling me that I can't eat treats at all, that counting calories doesn't work, you shouldn't eat back exercise calories etc. Or that I can only eat treats chosen by them. I'm trying to cut back on sweets and soda and only eat things I 100% enjoy but I don't need other people weighing in, unless they are part of my health team. Ironically most of the people telling me what I can and can't do aren't exactly the picture of health.

^^This.

People need to mind their own business - and especially about stuff they don't know anything about.

((hug))

SuzySunshine99 wrote: »

Homemade or bakery cookies ARE worth it to me, even if they have more calories than the pre-packaged ones.

I baked brookies (brownie/cookies - chocolate chip cookie bottom layer, double-chocolate top layer) this morning...in this pic they were still warm & goopy outta the oven

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Fit2btied2016 wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Fit2btied2016 wrote: »

(snip)
So while I could see myself giving up something like pizza short term, would I ever be satisfied with eating a cauliflower crust pizza for the rest of my life? No. It might take me 2 hours to work off a slice of pizza, but oh well.

(snip)

FWIW, as a piece of general information, commercial/standard cauliflower pizza crust isn't particularly low calorie. It's more about avoiding gluten, for those sensitive.

There might be different micros, but I'd guess the difference is trivial.

(snip)

Would I be happy with a one-size fits-all trainer at the gym? No. He might be perfect for the guy trying to put on more muscle to work in the military or something, but have no clue about women trying to lose weight after 40, etc. And a 20 year old fitness trainer just starting out will not be able to understand the unique needs of women as they age either, so I would be better suited for someone that has been there, and done that in their own life.
(snip)

YMMV, but the trainer I got the most from (as a 40+ y/o woman) was a male power lifter. I don't think we're all that unique (older women), and stereotyping (trainers or trainees) is risky. For sure, the individual trainer matters - their attitude, knowledge, experience - yeah.

As an aside, recent research is suggesting metabolism isn't all that different from 20s to around 60s - might want to look for different factors in 40s or so, eh?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34385400/

Best wishes!

I was/am speaking from my own experience and point of view, and health issues. I am unique.

I had a brain tumour, eh? It affected ALL of my hormones. It still does. (On top of just being a woman). No study needed to know that the average trainer will not be able to help me (been there, done that, got the t-shirt and empty bank account). No sterotyping implied, just trying not to repeat myself in every post/topic.

Actually, one of the most helpful people has been a woman nearby that beat a Slurpee addiction and weighed in well over 250 lbs. because of it, and she is maybe 5'5, 5'6. I don't know her weight now, but I would be surprised if she is more than 125. She is lean and muscle and fit and runs like a Gazelle.

Sorry, but the average male trainer is NOT interested in hearing about women's hormonal issues, bloat, and so on and so forth, and I cannot blame the guy one bit. The average young trainer doesn't know jack unless it's on Tik-Tok either and isn't going to be qualified enough to know how medications affect the body (male or female trainer). Anyone and their dog can hang up the "trainer" label. It is too-loosey goosey. It's useless. I take that label with a grain of salt. Once upon a time I had a model figure, too. I could eat whatever I wanted, when I wanted, and I didn't gain anything, and I had the energy of a bunny and nothing stopping me.

Yeah, then shtf all at once, and the pretty and perfect "trainers" suddenly had deer in the headlights if you were sick from meds. and you couldn't "train." Uh huh. You might want to try "non-peak hours," to use the gym. 'Our gym' specializes in those wanting to train for marathons, or xyz. We aren't taking on new clients." (Translation: Go away fat lady, you aren't the look we are going for...)

Have you been to many gyms and been stared at? If you have, then you know EXACTLY the snooty attitude I am talking about. (Or use snooty horse barns if that might relate better). "OH, you aren't wearing LULU-Lemon and showing off your butt floss? You ain't welcome here, Honey." "OH, you don't do Hot Yoga 5x a week or spin classes for 5 hours? Nuh uh. Go away."

I've been to multiple gyms while obese, including being in a swimsuit while obese and completely without breasts (or prostheses) - slightly concave up top, actually. (I, too, am a survivor of cancer, stage III, locally advanced, hormone linked, and that cancer's full-course treatment.) I would think that might be stare fodder?

I've also taken a bunch of diverse classes at gyms, too, with instructors and students of many ages and shapes. That was mostly while I was obese, over 45, and post-cancer.

It must be different in different places, because I didn't sense that people were typically thinking much about me at all - more focused on their own workouts.

When I rowed at masters nationals in my 50s (late bloomer! ), I was still obese, and one of a handful of overweight competitors among hundreds of participants. I felt self-conscious, I admit, but not unwelcome.

So, no, I haven't had the experience of feeling stared at, dissed, or unwelcome. Most of the gyms here do skew to a younger demographic (vs. me at 66), but there are some older folks like me, and quite a few who are overweight given how common it is here to be overweight at all ages.

The number of "fake" or narcissists in the fitness/gym industry is worse than the snotty horse world I ran into, by far. "Oh, look at me! Me, me!" No thanks. I don't deal with Botox Betties and the Instagram "selfie" girls either. Yawn.

"Oh look. I had 3 carrot sticks, a lettuce leaf and an ounce of almond milk. Follow me. Add a like." LOL.

My ideal gym would be a local swimming pool, and my ideal trainer someone that had it all, but had tremendous loss and remade their new life with blood, sweat and tears from the ground up--an injured Vet or something.

Too many "lifters" use steroids and banned substances to "bulk up." It becomes obvious when you look at some of them, LOL. Ask them all to take a pee test while you watch and see what you get. Take a hair sample, too. See how many suddenly have to leave the gym.

Life experience is called that for a reason. It doesn't come overnight. I also have other health challenges because of car accidents and trauma, and so on (and a few other gyne issues). If I had to REALLY do things "right," I would be looking again at a team at a NP, a Pharmacist, a Kinesiologist, an RMT, a PT, a Dietician, MD, Endocrinologist, and a few other MD specialists in the health care field. Guess what? Been there, done that, and could not afford to keep them up!! Some of them were not worth the paper their name was written on either (The average MD gets very little nutrition education in med school, for starters. It is a subject skimmed over).

Nope. Still looking for my female mentor in the flesh that has LIVED experience and the extensive knowledge and patience to pour through my history. I'll find her. She will be in some little nook in some cancer-survivor group or something, because she WILL have lived through a lot of the same crap I have.

No, a male power lifter wouldn't get near me, (too complicated for him) and I wouldn't let him either. THAT would definitely not work. Glad it worked for you though.

P,S. (I had hormonal testing up the wazoo, so I know what I am dealing with and why. Thanks though). The article from Pub Med does look interesting, and I will skim it later.

And just a pure curiosity question--why you are still here after maintaining so long? Wouldn't you want to fly the coop and not return? Lol. I would be like, "See ya! Good luck, I'm outta here!" Is this a common thing to hang around, or does it become more of a social thing after the goals are done?

Fair question.

I'm someone who was overweight to obese for most of my adult life, and generally quite inactive, with a history of no innate athletic aptitude. I don't have your experience of having a figure like a model, or eating anything I wanted without gaining. As you say, we're all unique individuals.

While I started here on MFP when I committed to lose weight at age 59 (for health reasons), my key goal wasn't and isn't weight loss, but weight management and especially health. I was obese, hypothyroid, with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, osteopenia, osteoarthritis, a torn meniscus, . . . etc. Some of those are no longer issues for me.

Weight loss may be a project with an end date for some. For me, weight management and health are lifelong endeavors.

Some people want to and are able to rely on other methods long term, but I've found food logging and calorie counting to be a pretty perfect tool for me. It takes less than 10 minutes (tops) daily, doesn't feel stressful or obsessive, lets me eat every delicious calorie I can while staying at a healthy weight, and makes it easy to keep my overall nutrition on point.

In my first year here especially, but also since, I've learned a lot and gotten helpful support from very many people here on MFP. I stay active in the Community to try to pay some of that forward.

I won't be everyone's cup of tea, clearly; but I hope those folks will get similar things from others here who have different experiences, opinions, or communication styles. I sincerely believe most people here genuinely want to help others.

Is sticking around common? I don't know - some do stick around long term, not just me. Why? They'll have to speak for themselves.

God help me if I am still on this website in 6 years! Ain't no way that's happening. Too time-consuming as it is, yikes. If anything, I will just maybe stick to tracking or something. I go to read a few posts or reply, and next thing you know, 2 hours is gone each day (and the Vanilla thing usually quits mid-way, so I have to retype everything, or it double-posts--arrgh). Interesting website with interesting people, but I have to re-think things here. (That's about 60 hours a month, or 720 in a year.) In that regard, I am not off to a good start. I am 51. In 6 years I will be 57. If I have not got my sh-t together by then, then no amount of mfp will help me either. Again, speaking for myself.
Cheers and best wishes back to you :-)

On the trainer issue specifically:

I agree that finding the right trainer or coach is challenging, and that underqualified ones are out there in droves.

I trust my own ability to assess an individual's credentials, experience, attitude, and communication style. I feel like I narrow my odds of finding a good coach/trainer if I broad-brush eliminate whole classes of candidates based on age, gender, or appearance. YMMV, and that's fine, too. I'm not looking for a mentor or role model, though - just a coach, trainer or instructor.

Wishing you success as you define it!