Advice to stop being a fat ***?

Motivation has to come within. How badly do you want it? If the answer isn't "really badly", then you won't be successful

My motivation only came after I took some small steps first.

For example, I logged everything I ate without any changes. Once I saw how much I was overeating, I had some numbers I could start working with.

I also started by just weighing myself everyday and used a charting tool (Libra). Seeing the trend going up made me realise the worst thing wasn't that I was maintaining but I was actually still gaining.

For exercise I started doing just 5 minutes each day. I would start a YouTube video and only do 5 minutes. After a while I felt like doing more so I gradually increased the time.

I actually created a chart that had these few steps that I could tick off each day. It sounds childish but seeing all the ticks helped me to keep the momentum going. I then created a new chart with new goals after 2 weeks.

Best of luck with finding the strategy that works for you.

Honestly, seeing a therapist was THE game changer for me. It turns out there were many small things I wasn't doing because I wasn't "motivated" to do them. The reality was I was stressed, anxious, and depressed, and treating those things helped me have the mental energy to do the smaller self-care tasks, which, in turn, worked me up to doing bigger things like going for walks, eating better, etc.

I also work in the mental health field myself, and I can say without a doubt that mental health is absolutely the biggest factor when it comes to a lack of motivation/desire to do things.

Other posters have given really good advice, but I thought I would throw in one personal experience re: exercise: I didn't have any interest in it until I had already lost some weight. It is *hard* to move a heavier body; harder than it is for a lighter person just because the body is bigger! When I was at my top weight a couple of years ago, I did feel absolutely awful in body. I focused only on diet for a while because exercise was painful and annoying and adjusting the food habit was hard enough. I had already done a lot of mental health work and recovery and was in a good place in most other areas of my life, and still found it incredibly difficult to feel motivated to move more than I had to.

But after I lost a few pounds, suddenly taking a walk seemed doable. Maybe even fun. Maybe I could walk instead of drive for a couple of errands. Then I lost a few more and wanted to move even more. I got to a point where if I didn't move a lot during the day I would get antsy and irritable and feel like I just had to *do* something. Then I got interested in lifting heavy things, which I would have sworn before I lost the weight that I would never have any interest in! I became a person who got excited about working out and testing my limits and seeing what I could do, and if I could get better.

The motivations for doing these things comes and goes, but one really nice thing about forming good habits is the cascading effect - things begin clicking into place as long as you start somewhere. It won't look the same for every person, but discipline begets discipline, in my experience. You don't have to run a marathon the first day, or have the perfect nutrition, or sleep schedule. But improving one over time is likely to yield results in the other areas if you stick with it, and even though you're doing more it probably won't feel as hard by then.

70sthin wrote: »

I_AM_ISRAEL wrote: »

Stop eating *kitten* foods. Go for a walk every day to get some of that vitamin D. Sleep well every night. Limit electronics exposure.
Meditate on Christ, the oil within that makes all things new

What's a kitten food?

It’s the cat food diet. Very popular in these parts. A bite or two of Little Friskies and you’re pretty much done for the day. The weight melts off.

Seriously, MFP replaces any cuss word with *kitten*, so no one is offended. Sometimes the word their algorithm replaces is totally random, which leads to some entertaining posts.

My first advice to you would be to stop calling yourself names.

I came up sharing a bathroom with a mother who would often look in the mirror, hit herself, and start wailing “D, you ugly stupid fat *kitten*”.

So I had that attitude myself. Who better to hate me, than me, right? If I have dibs on that, then I can’t be surprised when no one else likes me either.

One of the things I had to do was turn it on its ear and decide, ya know what? I’m a pretty unique, cool, interesting individual, and deserve to love myself. Once I was free to actually like myself, losing weight was easier. It no longer became a barrier to hide behind from all the “hateful” people.

It still flares it’s ugly head, but you have to take a deep breath and tell yourself, those people probably don’t give you two toots, and besides, they’re too busy hating their own selves or life or job or family to invest time and energy in hating you.

And PPS: you can continue eating the *kitten* food. Eat any darn thing you want.

But weigh your food and log it.

If you choose to continue that’s up to you.

But for me - and YMMV- weighing and logging led to cognizance of the “cost” of calories, and how darn hard it was to burn those same calories off.

That led in turn to better choice.

I made it a game and a personal challenge to stay within my calorie goal each day. I pre-log my calories a few days out and adjust them on the fly if I unexpectedly go out to dinner, discover the old husband has eaten the leftover roast chicken destined for my wrap or salad, or decide I want an extra snack or chocolate instead of whatever I’d planned.

It’s like Tetris, and can actually be interesting and…dare I say…. Fun.

It’s all in the attitude you bring to the table. Literally, lol.

I absolutely love all the advice given here!! It’s true wanting to do better and be better has to come deep inside of yourself. Losing weight is the one thing only you can do for yourself. Making changes isn’t easy. Losing weight isn’t easy. I don’t think anyone wants to self sabotage themselves but we do. We are human. We make mistakes. I started small. I think someone else said this. I began to drink water. I’ve hated water my entire life. Strange right. I always say it’s for bathing and cooking. But I made the change. Slowly over time it began to be a habit. Reaching for water instead of a diet soda. Next I worked on my eating after 8 pm. I’m a night owl and consumed most of my after that time. Chips and sweets are my go to comfort make me feel better foods. I started measuring them. Then I started choosing one or the other and eventually I gave them up all together.
I’m not here because I know everything g. I’m here to open up to learning the process of living a healthier me. We learn through experiences and through others That’s why I’m here.

I want to hug you. I know exactly how you feel because I was right there. I still cry about my terror. I lived in that bubble for two years, the Dr told me I needed to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop eating, start excercise and take a handful of pills. The Dr told Mr. that he needed open heart surgery. That did it. 12 hours sitting in my car waiting for hourly phone calls from the operating room. Scared the F out of me. I could not imagine my life without him. I don’t want to lose him or die yet myself. I want at least another 20 years with him…I’m 52 he’s 66. He spent 5 days in hospital and I cleaned and refilled every cupboard. He came home Oct 27. Today he is down 35 pounds, 5 more to go. I am down 30, 81# to go. My depression and anxiety are gone. My blood pressure has gone from the 150’s/90’s to 115/75. My fibromyalgia has quit being a persistent pain (~95% diminished) arthritis pain is down to ~25%. My chronic post nasal drip and cough (3 years chronic) is gone. I sleep like a pro. I don’t get sleepy in the afternoon. Our acid reflux is Gone! I still hate excercise but I walk when the weather agrees. I do high intensity, low impact aerobics from YouTube 2-3 times a week in my livingroom, at my pace, break a sweat and then do self care. I have not had bloodwork but I can tell my insulin resistance is gone. I still sneak smokes but a pack a month v. a pack a day. I still have a G&T but 2 ounces every couple days v. 6+ every day. We have fallen in love with veg which is cheaper than our old eating style.

You have to find your Why. Try logging what you eat to start. See how many calories you really eat. That might slap you in the face. Start stepping on the scale daily. Can you incorporate small tiny steps? Drink water. Limit your eating window to only 12 hours and then 10 hours a day. Take a multi-vitamin. Make rules like no food within 4 hours of sleep, all food groups at a meal, only dark chocolate in the house as treats, no soda pop inside the house, no eating out unless it is Friday, try a new food each week like sardines, tofu, fennel or daikon, only coffee in morning hours, cut your cream by half, minimize added sugar, only tea in pm hours, only decaf within 6 hours of sleep, wear a pedometer or use a phone app start counting steps, start building and trying to up it 1000 steps avg a week, practice doing one self care thing per day. Take a tub, color your hair, pluck stray hairs, file your nails, do a sugar scrub, do a face mask, coconut oil mask your hair. Go to the Dr. for a reality check if you have not already.

You are not alone. Millions of us exist with you in our own pools of despair…but it does not make it ok. Find your reason, find your anchor, find your why, keep reading these boards, keep reaching out making connections. Get your Dr. on board. One success fuels the next so you just need one win to get you moving in the right direction. Once you get moving just keep going, don’t stop, don’t break, don’t coast, just GO. I will pray for you to find your mojo.