LESS Alcohol ~ JANUARY 2023 ~ One Day At A Time

@MissMay I would LOVE to quit this job. Unfortunately it is not possible because I need my health insurance so badly right now because of this damn cancer. I could look up COBRA coverage but Im not sure where I would get the money to pay for that. I also am a firm believer that its easier to find a job when you have a job. I had a plan all scheduled out to be out of this job by mid January but then the cancer came. I have worked for this psychopath of a woman since 2015 (but in a clinical setting, so there were other people and she hides her crazy sometimes) and directly under her since March 2020. The pandemic hit and everything was askew so I thought her crazy was just from the pandemic. I took this position of being her "right hand man" and discussed with her how I would not do her dirty work for her (ie telling clients their pet had cancer after not following up for 2 months.) She promised me up and down and back and forth that it wouldnt be like that. Slowly she started crossing boundaries. I was afraid I would lose my job if I didnt do what she asked. I get to work from home and I can basically make my own schedule as long as I get my work done and am available to the clients. So I thought I "owed" her something. She is very, very tricky. Shes like a politician, she tells everybody what they want to hear and is very sincere when she does it, so people believe her. Her husband is a lawyer so I dont feel like I could ever financially take on her bad behavior in an actual court of law. I have plenty of documentation. She owns the practice and it is thriving. There is no HR or anyone above her. I have no one to go to. I looked up reporting her to various veterinary medical associations but there are so many laws protecting her. And she would make my life hell.
So. I am knee deep in therapy to cope. I hope to recover from radiation and find a new job after that. I want to be able to apply for a job and know I can give it 100% and not be tired from cancer treatment. Radiation should take about a month and I should be recovered from side effects 2 weeks after that. So fingers crossed, May of 2023?
Sorry for the rant. I want to be out of there as much as you guys want me to stop whining about her. She is a succubus and a poison.
Now Im off to my radiation simulation...apparently I get tattooed for this!

@MissMay LOL I may have to buzz you. I don't have a problem tossing 'things' it is DH. So I will get over it.

So I am finding I am going to leave my 'office' for last to pack and paint. Yesterday I took a car load of clothes to donate. Today will be more of the same. My train of thought is, is it worth the cost of packing and taking up space or is it easier to replace when we get to where we are going? Like our Washer & Dryer....I am up for leaving them. The dryer is old but a workhorse, washer about 7 yrs old. Our bed....replace the box spring and frame, but mattress is new, so keeping that. Cost to replace box spring and frame? approx $150.

I will keep all the shelving since we spent some money on it. Our dinning table/chairs, living room stuff all that is not coming with us. Just a few antique tables that DH has refinished and we both like.
My inexpensive computer type tables nope not coming with me. you can see the pattern.
DH.....not giving up any of his things LOL But that is ok, he has a lot to digest. No longer working after 47 years of business ownership. Kinda of out of sorts right now for him so he is really focused on getting the house packed as his 'job'.

But on the + side AF, today I will make some more 'shrub' for my mocktails in the evening.

@joans1976 I am sending you huge hugs for dealing with bosszilla. Her ethics and behavior is nothing short of a bully. She knows you need the insurance and going through a series health issue. I am praying for karma.

Hi, I’m Amanda from Michigan. I joined this group in June 2017 and I love the people on it like they are dear friends. I have greatly reduced my alcohol intake thanks to this thread and the support here.

1/1-1/26: AF

1/26: AF
I some how managed to erase my January document for LA and I can’t remember what it said exactly but I know I’ve been AF.

Feeling pretty low today, poor sleep last night. Depressing doctor appointment yesterday. I did figure out I have only had 1 drink in 93 days and it was a holiday sit by the fire warm up drink. I would like to have 5 or 6 vodka cocktails tonight to just forget about everything but I won’t because there are too many consequences, physically and emotionally. 😐😐😐
34 days AF

@Stockholm_Andy I love kitties, thanks for posting that. Good luck with your experiment! Also thank you for the video! It’s very true. And I love the 90s! Thank you, I needed to see that.

@MissMay Thank you, with all my heart

@lmlmrn I helped my parents move in September. My mom started sorting things in May and is not a hoarder. My dad started packing 5 days before the movers came and he is a hoarder. He ended up just literally taking drawers full of….hoarded stuff and dumping them into boxes and labeling them “important.” I tried to explain to him that it would be me and me only going through these things after he was gone and I would have no idea how to know what was important. He didn’t budge. He has every golf tee he’s ever used for golf. He has every screw one could ever need but he can’t find it. He has his drafting plans from work from 1972 but the paper is dry and crackling. I’ve read hoarding is due to unresolved trauma and he does get very angry and anxious if you throw something away of his, including an empty cardboard box. It pains me but he is 76 and I have to pick my battles.

It is hard though to let things go. During packing I found my mom crying over a box with my oldest brother’s first pair of overalls and my christening gown. She didn’t know why or where she wanted to keep them but she knew she couldn’t part with them. I took them from her and told her I would keep them safe (I 100% don’t want this box of stuff and have nowhere to put it) and she was relieved.

Paring down things is hard and emotional. I admire you for starting ahead of time. There used to be a TV show on HGTV (?) years ago where they would lay three tarps in the yard: one for trash, one for donate and one for keep. The people had to choose where to put all their things. It usually started with one broken thing on trash and a huge pile on keep. Can you do something like that?
Or call @MissMay lol I’m sure she has better ideas!

MissMay wrote: »

Hugs to those going through rough patches right now. Alcohol related or not.

TODAY I am celebrating the start of my journey on this thread. January 25th 2018 was my first post, RubyRed promptly greeted and welcomed me.

I come here for so many reasons.
It is my home, my neighborhood, my hangout, my therapy session, my comedy club, my pinterest, my shoulder to lean on, my safe place and more.

I keep coming here because I want to, not because I have to. This thread with thousands of posts from all you wonderful people have changed my life. And keeps me in check and accountable.

I ❤ this place and all of you.
Thank you for being here.

@MissMay Well said!

MissMay wrote: »

@joans1976
YOU NEEDED THAT LONG POST TO VOICE YOUR FEELINGS.

Do not apologize, if you took an entire page to let it out it would have been OK.

I know first you need a plan in place before you attempt.to more forward.

Fingers crossed you can start to slip out slowly on your own terms.

Vent any time, we all have to.

This.

We know you’re between a rock and a hard place right now.I totally get why you can’t leave quite yet , or exact sweet sweet revenge. But the light at the end of the tunnel is that soon you’ll be done with treatment and in a better job before you know it! Hugs.

Tough, busy day at work at work yesterday. I was very happy it was wine night, I “needed “ it. I was tempted to have another glass when I got home but glad I didn’t.

So far 11 AF days in January. Not bad! I think I’ll skip drinking tonight since I’ll be home, to make up for last minute restaurant trips this week. However, if I wind up going to dinner, all bets are off and I’ll have one.

Ah, cleaning out our parents houses. When my dad had to move to assisted living, and we went to put the house up for sale, I was lucky enough that my dad was able to afford to hire an estate clean out service to sort through and dispose of 50 years worth of stuff in my parents house. Worth every expensive penny. My mom (who passed in 2009) had tchotchkes all over the place, very few of her collectibles were worth
anything. Plus, mountains of paperwork, our old school projects and so much more. So. Much. Stuff.

When it was all done, and the old carpet ripped out, full paint job, cutting back of overgrown bushes, power washing the deck, new light fixtures, hardwood floors redone, new roof…. It was a lovely home that could breathe again, and charmingly open its doors to a new family. Years of deferred maintenance were finally done (my dad was just too old and immobile to walk the property and see what needed to be addressed). Does this make me a flipper? Haha!

I’m so blessed that they lived far
below their means because the money was there to make these repairs, and there was actually a bidding war on the house! I realize many people are not in this situation.
I got lucky.

Shout out to my tradesmen. They all knew each other, and worked around each other’s schedules to do whatever needed doing while I lived an hour and a half away. They were my angels.