It's Now or Never

FullBodyKraken
FullBodyKraken Posts: 10 Member
in Introduce Yourself
So, I've been on MFP before, at least four or five times, and it works! It really does! But I find that my issue is motivation more than anything. I can eat better, I can force myself to workout, but I cannot stick with it when I'm alone. I have no support system in my life, just judgemental friends and a beloved spouse who is an enabler.

I'm here to try to find a support system, a group of like minded people, people who will help me when I fall off the wagon (and I will. I always do).

I weighed in this morning at 433 lbs. That is... the highest I've ever been and I feel like I am spiralling into grief or something. I feel shocked, appalled, a little angry and a lot scared. So, if anyone wants a friend on the verge of a breakdown, add me. XD I could use the help.

Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,488 Member
    Join a gym and make NEW FRIENDS. Don't FORCE yourself to workout. Get into a daily habit and just stick with it of working out. You just have to really want this to happen for yourself and focus on you when you do it. Don't bother with people who try to tear you down or belittle your effort. You'll find that if you just do this just for you, you'll respect yourself better and not let outside influences deter you.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • FullBodyKraken
    FullBodyKraken Posts: 10 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Join a gym and make NEW FRIENDS. Don't FORCE yourself to workout. Get into a daily habit and just stick with it of working out. You just have to really want this to happen for yourself and focus on you when you do it. Don't bother with people who try to tear you down or belittle your effort. You'll find that if you just do this just for you, you'll respect yourself better and not let outside influences deter you.

    I have a few mental health dealios that prevent me from the gym and the friend making! BUT not forcing myself is really helpful. I certainly want it now, I was talking to my mom yesterday and found out yet another auntie has diabetes (And she was big like me for so long). It kicked me in the bum.

    Thank you for such wonderful, inspiring words. I am so grateful.
  • VoidKat
    VoidKat Posts: 2 Member
    It sounds like we could be in similar situations, I would love to be friends!
  • raenright
    raenright Posts: 54 Member
    It's powering through after it's gotten boring that gets me. Great motivation to get started and once it slips into being a chore and I feel I'm missing out on nice treats it's a real struggle to stick with it.

    I find the whole idea of Finding Your Why very useful, really getting clear on why I'm doing this, what I want to be or not be as I get older, and having it written on fridge or cupboards to remind me of my long term goals when my short term cravings kick in.

    Best of luck with your journey 🥳
  • lornamarie57
    lornamarie57 Posts: 31 Member
    Welcome. When I first got serious (let's face it, I joined long before really sticking around) I found it helped to go to the community everyday. I also filled my newsfeed with "Friends" so I'd have people to post to....It felt social and felt like somebody cared about my success. It helped. I log in daily and track daily but what really helps when I'm not feeling it is to set a very small goal and post it. Like "today's my son's birthday so we're having cake and pizza BUT I'll be sure I log everything and get a walk in"...Maybe something from my experience helps you? Good luck and you're welcome to friend me :)
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,094 Member
    Forcing yourself to do anything (whether it's exercise or a certain way of eating) isn't going to work long-term. Rather: make gradual changes in your habits (rather than going 'gung ho' and overhauling your diet in one go/eliminating your favorite foods), find fun ways to be active (rather than do exercise you feel you 'should' do but don't enjoy)...
    Being active on MFP certainly helps too, being in contact with other people looking to get healthier.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    You don't have to force yourself to "workout". The only "workout" I do is lifting 3x per week...otherwise, most of my regular exercise is outdoor active recreation. I walk everyday. I enjoy cycling and mountain biking. I love a good hike in the mountains. Kayaking on weekends in the summer months is awesome. I do some rock climbing here and there, though not as much as I used to. Go do fun, active things and then you don't have to force yourself to do anything.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,966 Member
    FullBodyKraken wrote: »
    So, I've been on MFP before, at least four or five times, and it works! It really does! But I find that my issue is motivation more than anything. I can eat better, I can force myself to workout, but I cannot stick with it when I'm alone. I have no support system in my life, just judgemental friends and a beloved spouse who is an enabler.

    I'm here to try to find a support system, a group of like minded people, people who will help me when I fall off the wagon (and I will. I always do).

    I weighed in this morning at 433 lbs. That is... the highest I've ever been and I feel like I am spiralling into grief or something. I feel shocked, appalled, a little angry and a lot scared. So, if anyone wants a friend on the verge of a breakdown, add me. XD I could use the help.

    Don't force yourself to work out. Any way of moving more that's relatively fun, or at least tolerable and practical, is a good thing. You don't need to do punitively intense, miserable workouts in order to get benefits - in fact, that approach can be counterproductive.

    I know it's hard in the early stages when body weight is high and movement is not a comfortable habit, but fun movement is the thing to search for. I can't tell you what to do, no one can. But there are dozens, probably hundreds of very diverse options: Dozens of kinds of dance, martial arts, walking in the park (bird watching?), gardening, carpentry, virtual reality games that have a physical component, playing a musical instrument, swimming, frisbee, yoga, . . . on and on. It's not necessary to be "good at it", the point is enjoyment.

    Even trying things can be fun, with the right mindset. When something is new, it's normal to feel awkward, maybe even that it's impossible, that other people are So. Much. Better. (so they must be "talented"). But everyone was new at the thing once, and the decent folks - most folks - remember how that felt, and will want to help you, given half a chance. Things that are instantly easy get boring fast. Give things a fair chance, to get past the newbie blues - you may find your personal fun. You will, if you keep exploring, I'd bet.
  • FullBodyKraken
    FullBodyKraken Posts: 10 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »

    Don't force yourself to work out. Any way of moving more that's relatively fun, or at least tolerable and practical, is a good thing. You don't need to do punitively intense, miserable workouts in order to get benefits - in fact, that approach can be counterproductive.

    I know it's hard in the early stages when body weight is high and movement is not a comfortable habit, but fun movement is the thing to search for. I can't tell you what to do, no one can. But there are dozens, probably hundreds of very diverse options: Dozens of kinds of dance, martial arts, walking in the park (bird watching?), gardening, carpentry, virtual reality games that have a physical component, playing a musical instrument, swimming, frisbee, yoga, . . . on and on. It's not necessary to be "good at it", the point is enjoyment.

    Even trying things can be fun, with the right mindset. When something is new, it's normal to feel awkward, maybe even that it's impossible, that other people are So. Much. Better. (so they must be "talented"). But everyone was new at the thing once, and the decent folks - most folks - remember how that felt, and will want to help you, given half a chance. Things that are instantly easy get boring fast. Give things a fair chance, to get past the newbie blues - you may find your personal fun. You will, if you keep exploring, I'd bet.

    SUCH good advice here, thank you. I find that any sort of activity that raises my heartrate tends to trigger anxiety attacks (as the raised heart rate reminds me of when I'm in panic), so I haven't yet found a physical activity that I enjoy doing, but I will definitely keep trying!!! Thank you for taking the time out to respond to me, I am truly grateful.
    lornamarie57 wrote: »
    Welcome. When I first got serious (let's face it, I joined long before really sticking around) I found it helped to go to the community everyday. I also filled my newsfeed with "Friends" so I'd have people to post to....It felt social and felt like somebody cared about my success. It helped. I log in daily and track daily but what really helps when I'm not feeling it is to set a very small goal and post it. Like "today's my son's birthday so we're having cake and pizza BUT I'll be sure I log everything and get a walk in"...Maybe something from my experience helps you? Good luck and you're welcome to friend me :)

    This is very helpful, thank you! And I would love to add you!
  • susansteele63
    susansteele63 Posts: 4 Member
    Feel free to add me. I also have done MFP many times and lost my way but I'm back.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,966 Member
    FullBodyKraken wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »

    Don't force yourself to work out. Any way of moving more that's relatively fun, or at least tolerable and practical, is a good thing. You don't need to do punitively intense, miserable workouts in order to get benefits - in fact, that approach can be counterproductive.

    I know it's hard in the early stages when body weight is high and movement is not a comfortable habit, but fun movement is the thing to search for. I can't tell you what to do, no one can. But there are dozens, probably hundreds of very diverse options: Dozens of kinds of dance, martial arts, walking in the park (bird watching?), gardening, carpentry, virtual reality games that have a physical component, playing a musical instrument, swimming, frisbee, yoga, . . . on and on. It's not necessary to be "good at it", the point is enjoyment.

    Even trying things can be fun, with the right mindset. When something is new, it's normal to feel awkward, maybe even that it's impossible, that other people are So. Much. Better. (so they must be "talented"). But everyone was new at the thing once, and the decent folks - most folks - remember how that felt, and will want to help you, given half a chance. Things that are instantly easy get boring fast. Give things a fair chance, to get past the newbie blues - you may find your personal fun. You will, if you keep exploring, I'd bet.

    SUCH good advice here, thank you. I find that any sort of activity that raises my heartrate tends to trigger anxiety attacks (as the raised heart rate reminds me of when I'm in panic), so I haven't yet found a physical activity that I enjoy doing, but I will definitely keep trying!!! Thank you for taking the time out to respond to me, I am truly grateful.
    (snip)

    It's absolutely fine to start with movement that doesn't elevate your heart rate. All movement is good.

    Meet your body where it is today. Change will happen, with patience and time.

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