being single stinks

And to the OP...
A suggestion(and I don't want to sound rude) but do you seem unconfident? A lot of people find confidence and a winning smile VERY attractive despite the weight.

can I rock the confident side and dress like I am confident about myself? yes, but am I that way deep down? no...being dumped because I wasnt pretty anymore kinda made me lose my self-confindence deep inside me that Im slowly gaining back

Hon. . don't buy into that though just because someone said such a thing. . you ARE beautiful. . . Sounds like the issue was your boyfriend. . . not you. . .

Take it from someone that went through a marriage with mental abuse. . someone that told me that I couldn't get anyone better than him. . and I left and you know what. . . . the things he said were crap. . .People in this world can be cruel sometimes. . whether its men or women. . it is what we choose to take from it and how we choose to deal with it that matter. . .

I agree it's hard to get over that kind of treatment( I was in the exact situation as you)... but you just to. She'll get there. It sounds like he was a real jerk.

so riddle me this...
i have the body, i am willing to dress slutty and i'm in a relationship.
why the hell am i still not getting any?

'Cause we're not hanging out

HELL YA!!

:laugh:

By the way, do you REALLY want to be with someone that just likes you for your looks???? Just sayin... Your ex probably did you a favor. He would have bailed on you for one reason or another sooner or later. If you can't develop a deep connection, you are on the losing end when the looks go... and eventually they do.

I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles site. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

However, meeting a guy in church doesn't automatically mean that he's going to be Mr. Perfect, nor does meeting a guy in a club necessarily mean that he's going after just one thing. I've known plenty of abusive a-holes that go to church every Sunday. My son's father and I met out dancing...now, we're not together any longer (together for 8 years, married for 4) but that's due to issues brought on his work as a law enforcement officer, not the fact that we met in a club.

With regards to your generalization about dating sites...same thing...I have several friends that have been in long-term relationships, many that have gone on to marry men that they've met from Match.com, eharmony, etc.

To the OP: There are good guys and douchecanoes everywhere. Learn to spot which is which, put on a bright smile for the ones that are the ones worth smiling for, and got for it!

Generally, guys with their shirts off in profile pics are the ones you wanna stay away from.

You might want to throw a shirt on, toots.

Bars aren't the place to pick up a relationship. Bars are there for picking up booty. That's why guys go to the slutty girls there - because they seem more likely to put out.

I'm a fan of internet dating. My BF and I met online (World of Warcraft, boi! lol). We've been together for 3 years now - yes in person. If you're looking for a relationship, give something like Match.com or eHarmony a shot. It seems weird at first when you realize that you're developing feelings for someone that you may not have met in person, but it's worth it imo.

Good luck to ya.

Oh, and being in a relationship isn't always puppies and rainbows either. As much as I love my BF, I'd love to be single and just be able to do my own thing. I could buy whatever food I wanted without considering someone else's feelings. I could stop shaving my legs and not feel bad about it. I wouldn't have to clean the house as much because there would be no one else there to muck things up. I could sprawl out at night and take up the whole bed instead of having to share.

There are positives to both sides. Chin up. I know it sounds cliche, but someone will come along when you least expect it.

I beg to differ. . It depends on where you meet a guy at. .. If you go to a bar looking to meet someone or to some singles site. . you are going to find a much different crowd than if for instance you meet a guy in a church social group.. . .

However, meeting a guy in church doesn't automatically mean that he's going to be Mr. Perfect, nor does meeting a guy in a club necessarily mean that he's going after just one thing. I've known plenty of abusive a-holes that go to church every Sunday. My son's father and I met out dancing...now, we're not together any longer (together for 8 years, married for 4) but that's due to issues brought on his work as a law enforcement officer, not the fact that we met in a club.

With regards to your generalization about dating sites...same thing...I have several friends that have been in long-term relationships, many that have gone on to marry men that they've met from Match.com, eharmony, etc.

To the OP: There are good guys and douchecanoes everywhere. Learn to spot which is which, put on a bright smile for the ones that are the ones worth smiling for, and got for it!

No kidding. . My brother met his wife on eharmony. . . My point was this and I stated it. . That you can find good and bad people anywhere you go. . . and no matter where you meet someone be selective. . take your time. . . I was in no way saying that you couldn't meet mr or mrs wonderful on a dating site. . . No matter where you are you have to be careful who you meet. . and take time in getting to know the person. .

ok - i'm gonna break this down as i see it.

1- weight is not the issue. i just started, i have nearly 200lbs to lose and i DO get hit on. i don't dress slutty. i'm usually in jeans and cowboy boots. but i walk with my head up, i have my hair and makeup done. i make eye contact. i actively listen. (that's mostly b/c i'm not good at conversation, honestly) i don't have my boobs or my butt hanging out.

2 - anthropologically speaking, YES we do - ALL OF US - have first attraction from looks. each of us, with our own unique genetic background, are attracted to different things. it's a lizard brain thing. i'm sure that there are studies that could tell you why some like tall and some like short and why some like heavy and some like lean... but at the end of the day, it's personal.

3 - ppl who display for a quick hook up are going to get it. that's all there is to it. they might not get breakfast, but they will get what they're dressed to advertise. if that's what you want, display like a peacock a little.

4 - but if that is NOT what you want, if what you want is a long term thing with someone who will be a partner to you - well that's not going to be easy to find. do what you like to do, and go places where ppl who have those hobbies congregate. do you like to garden? spend some more time at the garden center - re-do your yard in your head a lot and be willing to talk to someone, be friendly, make conversation, smile and flirt. if you like cooking, go to the kitchen store. talk to ppl EVERYWHERE. you need to have something in common second - remember, that look was first - and even third. b/c the more hobbies you have in common, the better you'll communicate as a couple.

5 - flirting only happens with practice. if you suck, you actually have to do it MORE. i'm sorry about that, but it's true.

6 - stay away from bars and clubs, unless you're only going for flirting practice.

and finally

7 - GOOD LUCK b/c it sucks for EVERYONE.

ok - i'm gonna break this down as i see it.

1- weight is not the issue. i just started, i have nearly 200lbs to lose and i DO get hit on. i don't dress slutty. i'm usually in jeans and cowboy boots. but i walk with my head up, i have my hair and makeup done. i make eye contact. i actively listen. (that's mostly b/c i'm not good at conversation, honestly) i don't have my boobs or my butt hanging out.

2 - anthropologically speaking, YES we do - ALL OF US - have first attraction from looks. each of us, with our own unique genetic background, are attracted to different things. it's a lizard brain thing. i'm sure that there are studies that could tell you why some like tall and some like short and why some like heavy and some like lean... but at the end of the day, it's personal.

3 - ppl who display for a quick hook up are going to get it. that's all there is to it. they might not get breakfast, but they will get what they're dressed to advertise. if that's what you want, display like a peacock a little.

4 - but if that is NOT what you want, if what you want is a long term thing with someone who will be a partner to you - well that's not going to be easy to find. do what you like to do, and go places where ppl who have those hobbies congregate. do you like to garden? spend some more time at the garden center - re-do your yard in your head a lot and be willing to talk to someone, be friendly, make conversation, smile and flirt. if you like cooking, go to the kitchen store. talk to ppl EVERYWHERE. you need to have something in common second - remember, that look was first - and even third. b/c the more hobbies you have in common, the better you'll communicate as a couple.

5 - flirting only happens with practice. if you suck, you actually have to do it MORE. i'm sorry about that, but it's true.

6 - stay away from bars and clubs, unless you're only going for flirting practice.

and finally

7 - GOOD LUCK b/c it sucks for EVERYONE.

Now this is the best post here. . Love everything that you had to say. . . and spot on!

NO!! Us guys are ALL just raging horny monsters targeting all the slutty skinny girls in the world!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Speak for yourself,

A woman's appeance to me is insignificant compared to her personality. I've only ever had negative experiences dating skinny girls because so many of them are ******* stuck up *******.

I've met a few girls through online dating sites.
I talk to most of them online, and even give exercise/nutrition advice to lots of em
I acually meetup with like 2% of them. (like 3 girls ever) cause they're not really into everything I am.

And I've also been messaged by couples..dudes...you name it.

The couples: I had to enquire. The one both had profiles (the man and woman had one each) and they allow eachother to go out, on dates, and do whatever they want. Meanwhile the other knows full-well and approves of the dates/profiles of the people they meet. She invited me over 'after her kids went to sleep'...i said 'where would your husband be?'....'at home'.

I was simply asking, cause I'm curious. I'm not even from the city, I'm from a super-small town of 7,000ppl. Super-innocent...but i like to know things.

The 'discreet' mans profile said he just wanted to meet friends. I had to tell him the things he was proposing weren' t the kind of things friends would do.

:huh:

Entertaining though.

Finding this too! I'm overweight, but I take care of myself, come from an excellent family, am a normal person, good job, good friends, funny, and easy going....I don't get it. I guess I'll have to keep working on me, and whatever happens will happen...good luck!

I've met a few girls through online dating sites.
I talk to most of them online, and even give exercise/nutrition advice to lots of em
I acually meetup with like 2% of them. (like 3 girls ever) cause they're not really into everything I am.

for me, ive never tried it but its the whole thought of not knowing someone and just being online pals and then meeting them...i know scams dont happen ALL the time but still kinda eery

Scams happen just as easy as some dood you met in a bar can lie.
GIve it a chance. Make sure it's a reputable website.

for me, ive never tried it but its the whole thought of not knowing someone and just being online pals and then meeting them...i know scams dont happen ALL the time but still kinda eery

Meet them somewhere public, its not that hard.

I usually chat with them for a week or two, get a phone number, or facebook, at which point its pretty safe.

i dont' just randomly talk to someone one night then visit them......that'd just be scandalous!