Relationship Question

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  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    I will say it again, trust your instincts! There is a reason this feels different then his relationship with his other female friends. Do not let him brush you off, say you're crazy, or give you a guilt trip. Tell him that you don't want him to be friends with her anymore.
  • FuxsinEllie
    FuxsinEllie Posts: 25
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    I think that is inappropriate. He's married and texting a younger girl. Have you told him how you feel? Do you know the girl?
  • Hoppymom
    Hoppymom Posts: 1,158 Member
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    I would acknowledge that while both of you have friends of the opposite gender you are uncomfortable with this relationship and would he please drop her as a friend. Any guilt trip he tries or anger to me would be a real red flag. Trust your instincts they are telling you to beware that danger MAY be lurking nearby. Hugs to you.
  • katya73
    katya73 Posts: 464
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    If it's usually OK, but your instincts tell you otherwise here, listen to your gut. With my ex (we dated for 5 years), I ignored my instincts and it turned out to be a huge mistake.

    Talk to your husband about it, in my opinion.


    ^^^^^ THAT .. always listen to your intuition ..
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
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    I'd be a little leery of the situation if I were you. What could he possibly have in common with a 20-year old (male OR female) that makes them want to text so much? And sending her a picture of his new haircut.... uh.... weird. It doesn't sound all that innocent to me. I'd definitely bring it up to him or keep your guard up for other signs. Best of luck to you.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    As a guy, if he openly admits he's texting her, I wouldn't worry.

    Just mention it politely. Say it just makes you a little uncomfortable, which is totally understandable.

    The more you worry and dwell on it, the worse its gonna build up, and seem in your head.

    Chances are he doesn't realize how it makes you uneasy, and he'll respect that and do it less, or stop completely.
  • skinnny1day
    skinnny1day Posts: 50
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    I didn't even know they were friends until she started texting. He had never spoke of her before. And I have talked to him and he swears it's innocent, but something doesn't feel right. Like last night when he got finished cutting his hair he sent her a picture of himself. It's just different. It could just be my insecurities are full blown right now. Then he is like oh I'll give up a friend if it makes you happy, almost throwing a whole guilt trip on me, because I usually just cave. I mean I am completely independant so if he walked out tomorrow, I would survive. But if you want to act like your twenty again, let me go. I am a big girl, I can handle it.

    I wouldn't cave, I would make him prove it. If he can't drop her, then somethings up.


    ^This x 1000000.
    Guilt trips don't work with me. If I'm unhappy, my man is going to know about it and he will fix it. The end.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    All I can say is, when you're dancing on a slippery slope - don't be surprised if someone falls!

    Of all the comments here, I'd have to agree with this one the most. Keep in mind, I am 44 and in a very different type of relationship than you are, but I'll give you my opinion. While there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex when married, there should be boundaries. I do not think it is appropriate to have friends of the opposite sex that your spouse doesn't know. I don't think it's appropriate to go out and make new friends, either. How did he become "friends" with this 20 year old who works at a gas station? And why would she want a pic of him with a new haircut? It's one thing if he keeps in touch with all his female friends he had before he knew you, or ones that both of you know. But, making new female friends just doesn't seem right to me.

    Communication is important. Tell him how you feel.....tell him this doesn't feel "right" and talk to him. See how he reacts. This may be a good time to establish new boundaries, too. Best wishes to you!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    My main question is where a 32 year old man in meeting a 20 year old girl...If it is at work (like he also works at the gas station), I understand, although I too find it odd he sent a photo to her of his new haircut.

    In all honesty, I get the feeling your husband could be starting an affair. I would confront him kindly, but if the behavior continues, I would suggest just leaving. You look like an attractive woman from your photo, so I am sure that it would take a lifetime to count every man who would die to be with you and wouldn't do this to you. ^^
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    All I can say is, when you're dancing on a slippery slope - don't be surprised if someone falls!
    Yes! This! When I got married, both of us stopped texting anyone single of the opposite sex. A few ladies insisted on continuing to call and text until I stepped in and told them to back off. He knew it bothered me and he stopped for me and I for him.

    I think if you are feeling unsure about this one, its instinct telling you something isn't kosher. Talk to him about her.
  • evenidomhnaill
    evenidomhnaill Posts: 50
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    Warning bells are starting to sound. If its not something at the moment it could turn into something. I think its easy to relate to people of different ages but thats not where the red flag is going up for me its the PHOTO! Now I might send a photo of a new hair do to my mum or put it up on FB but there are not many men i know who would send a photo of a new hair do to a friend they dont know that well and is 12 years younger than them unless for example the went for a drastic change from normal hair to mohawk and its something they shared in common???? She might be flirting and he might think its flattering to be getting the attention from someone so young. My advice is watch it if your gut is telling you something then trust it. At the moment it could be innocent but a situation like this could change very quickly. I would talk to your husband and tell him to watch himself she could get the wrong idea. keep a close eye, maybe change up your routine and spend more time together ask him to explain the relationship and maybe meet her to see what vibes you get and if still not convinced tell him to stop contact

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