Reboot Boogaloo, September - open group
Replies
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Good luck today, MM. Is this the first time Irine has been to church?
You should try it biking the shore, next fine day, V. It could be like a mini-vacation?
Well, my dad brought someone who hadn't biked since he was a kid. Poor guy was on a 21 speed bike, the gears broke, and his seat became loose. He still made it 20 miles though. Don't think he's coming back in two weeks for the Outlaw. Both my dad and I were sun tired and took naps in the afternoon. Since, I wasn't ready for this ride, I took the Luna bars that were given to us at the conference (something I normally avoid, since it's just a vitamin filled candy bar). They were fine for the ride, but afterward, I felt a little queasy.
Today: teaching yoga and walking. I'm not sore, but it's going to be another hot day, le sigh.
Still begging for rain, boogaloo.0 -
Hey everyone. I feel super lazy today - I had to work some last night, and also this morning, and now I just keep napping! Hubby is back home from all his business trips, and we spent yesterday taking care of his car (dead battery), and today taking care of mine (inspection = new rotors, ouch). The weather is gorgeous, though, so as soon as the car is ready we'll probably go out for a lazy stroll around a neighborhood festival. All I've been doing this week is working and taking lots of vitamins (in both food and pill form), and cutting out most caffeine. Tomorrow I go back to the doctor and found out if any of it has helped! It feels like my thumb is healing - but I can tell it's very stiff.
Welcome home, MM (and Irina)! I'm glad the kids are doing well, and so happy to hear that your landlady situation has relaxed a bit.
V, when I read the post about you giving in to your boss and then crying through yoga, I knew exactly how you felt. (get out of my head
) I always take responsibility for things and then feel bad and blame myself when I realize I shouldn't have. On the one hand, there's power in taking ownership of my own life and decisions rather than blaming "the world" - but on the other hand, it's not right to put all the blame on myself when I find myself in a crappy situation. I'm glad you got some additional perspective on the bully so you're better prepared. You are still kicking all sorts of butt this year in your academic career, so focus on that - the research assistant might be a good idea! 
Mary, way to go on the ride!
Sarah, I like the poems.
Beautiful Sunday, boogaloo. :flowerforyou:0 -
For most of today I've been fighting the blues. Of course it doesn't help that I'm listening to sad songs right now, but in a way, I feel like I need it. I'm so tired of trying trying trying. I'm tired of being looked at like I'm a freak on the subway. There is judgement at every turn. I don't hate myself at 340 lbs, I know this is the version of me that will get me to where I want to go. I have to take care of her. I'm just tired of those judging eyes from people. I want to slap them all...but it wouldn't change a thing.
When do I get to have fun, enjoy my life, have meaningful relationships? I think the problem is, I have to "weigh-in" tomorrow as I am on the Weight Watchers online program. I weighed in today and my weight was up so it sent me into downward spiral I think. sheesh....I wish we could measure our progress in a different way or in a more sensitive way. It doesn't matter that I walked and worked hard to eat my greens and keep within my points. It doesn't matter that I feel stronger than I've felt in many many months, that I feel younger. WW will be judging me somehow if my weight is up. I just can't take it. Maybe this is a test? hmmm....
I mopped the kitchen floor today and broke two mops...I don't know what the heck was going on...then I went to Crappy Tire and Walmartino and they had no mop heads I was looking for. I gave up and drove home again. It's a "really-stuck-in-the-mud" kinda sunday. all I want to do is eat carrot cake. sigh.0 -
V, sorry to hear about your new boss. I hope things get better for you.
Mary, they gave us a certificate of Christianity (meaning she was baptized in the Orthodox church in Russia), so I guess she has been to a church before, but I don't know how often she has gone. She did well, and sat on my lap the entire service, waving and smiling at everyone. However, afterward, when everyone was milling around and socializing, she became overwhelmed and started acting out. Key to my new daughter: do not overwhelm her because it does not become her.
CP, did you get to go on a stroll last night? How was it?
Sarah, remember that the number you see today is just that: a number. It does not reflect who you are or how far you've come. You have been doing a lot of walking so it may have gone up a little. I read somewhere that it takes at least 6 weeks for the body to get used to a new routine and for change to start. Hang in there. It will come!
Today we have tumbling class. Just for Alex. I hope to eventually enroll Irina, but not yet. She's too unruly. It's our first outing without DH so hopefully it will go smoothly. Alex has been awesome. I guess we prepared him well. He's been very patient with his new sister and does what he's told. He's just a good kid. He will have his days. I just hope it's not today. I am glad our first outing with Irina is a short one. She gets overwhelmed so easily right now. Tomorrow may be a little longer depending on how well she does today. Praying for patience and the right perspective as I deal with her. I sometimes "forget" that we've only had her for a week and everything is still so new. I need to keep that in mind. She has had no proper training in the orphanage about people's personal space and property. Or even going to the bathroom she has not been trained right. Now she's suffering from itching. It's awful to see how she's been allowed to do whatever she wants. Maybe I said this before but they did not discipline her. They distracted her from whatever naughty thing she was doing. That only encouraged her ADHD, not helped it. So we are having to undo and redirect.
I am very thankful she willingly takes naps! That means I should still be able to get some work outs in or spend some one on one time with Alex. That makes me happy. I may try to get a walk in today on the treadmill or something. And I need to get back to logging. I had two days of pigging out.
Patience and perseverance boogaloo.0 -
Sarah, are you judging the other people on the subway? I know people judge based on appearance, everyone does it - but probably not as often as you might think. Most people are only thinking about what others think of them. It's the same in yoga or at the gym. People think they are being judged by what they can and cannot do. It's not true for the most part. No one is judging you as much as you are judging yourself. I don't know if that helps, but just remember, there's no judgement here
Hope your thumb is better, CP.
I can't imagine what Irine is going through. What a big change.
Today, I haven't decided whether I'm going to be selfish or not. Another yoga teacher is sick and needs a sub for her noon class. I was planning on going to another class at noon. Anyway, there will be three yoga classes today.
Non-judgement, boogaloo.0 -
SJ, in answer to the question of "when" the answer is "now". That being said, I completely understand how difficult it is to own that right. What Mary said is true. Here, no judgement.
MM, I think "overwhelmed does not become her" is my motto, too.:laugh:
Intentions of the day: to get a walk in, to go buy "project binders" (see above 'overwhelmed' comment) and hydrate.
Intentions of the larger picture: mini-vacations! This is the school year that I remember that I live inside of a body and treat it well. This means going outside and visiting the sky, self-care days (that manipedi did me a world of good. More like that) I've even decided to not do writing on the weekends. Mami needs her sanity.
As far as scheduled workouts go, I've decided on Sunday Zumba, wednesday active beginner yoga, and thurs special people yoga. Other days will be wild card days for walking or gym when the winter comes, which will never happen, because I am in denial.
Huge intention filled novel, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:0 -
I still feel like I haven't had a vacation. Normally, because of my method of travel (land), and my desired location (somewhere cooler), my vacations are usually about 2 weeks - so I'm still missing a week. October is too busy to take any mini-vacations - maybe November.
Today: walk and yoga. Back to the normal things. My bike is in the shop - some of the gears were slipping during the last ride. I should get it back today. It's really hot this week, so no biggie. (yep, still approaching 100 degrees everyday, though we've had a few days of normal weather - we are still waiting for a little hurricane).
Still dreaming of vacation, boogaloo.0 -
Morning, pebbs:
Feeling super-productive, since I had to get up early and come up to campus. Picked up a letter of recommendation, which nearly made me cry, it was so glowing. (which is how I guess recommendation letters are supposed to be, right?) now I'm waiting for dude who wants to be my assistant and wasting a bit of time on the Internet. My huge organizational binge went pretty well yesterday, but I still feel sort of buried in books. Later today I'm going to see if I can tame that a bit. I got rid of three shelves of books earlier this year and the dissertation writing has filled them right back up.
Other than that, I've been hoofing it everywhere, so that's my walking of the day. I'm sort of saving up energy for the yoga class tomorrow morning which I'm excited/nervous about. Also, I didn't get paid for September, so, um, yay? My acupuncturist put this extra short take-home needle in my ear lobe (it looks like a weird bandaid) for stress. I think it's working, because I feel a little less manic/enraged. It's been a v. Stressful first few weeks of the semester between the jerk boss, no contract and now no money. I'm just in sort of "really?!" mode right now, so stressed I'm not even really reacting.
Second helping of really?!, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:0 -
Quick post.
This morning was a disaster. I was so proud of Irina for not fighting me a lot with clothes and fixing her hair. Before we left she got mad about something and I don't remember what it was. We went through Spouts and she was fine but got mad again when we left. I admit I yelled at her when she took her seat belt off. But since then she has worn it properly instead of trying to tuck it behind her head. She continued throwing fits at horse therapy. All the volunteers that were so happy for us were coming up to me, hugging me and saying "God bless you." They all saw her tantrum and they gave me looks of pity. It was embarrassing but at least they work with kids with problems and understand. Other places/people won't be so nice about it.
So it's been a rough morning. So thankful she takes naps still. I need that time to regroup.
I am really trying to be careful with my eating. I want to go eat a chocolate cake, so it's a good thing I don't have one in the house. Steve has to help friends move tonight so I will be alone with the kids. Bed time is coming early.
Please reassure me that things will get better. This can't last forever. I won't last forever. :frown:
Change please boogaloo.0 -
(I actually wrote most of this post yesterday, but got distracted and forgot to post it - in case you're wondering why most of the news feels a day old)
Good news! My x-ray yesterday showed progress! The knuckle side of the fracture is getting fuzzy and harder to see (though the other side is still pretty obvious). So, my doctor gave me permission to start taking off the splint some and moving my thumb a little bit. Go, thumb, go! :bigsmile: (Today it is actually feeling a little more swollen and hot, probably due to the extra movement. It is still VERY stiff and I can bend it probably less than half of the normal range. But it's good to be able to take the splint off and move my wrist and the rest of my hand, too.)
Other good news - I had to go back to the mechanic, because after I got my car back on Sunday it wasn't acting right. Fortunately, it was a quick fix - I was in and out in about 30 minutes. And since I was already working from home yesterday, it worked out great.
We did get out for a bit of a walk on Sunday - we went to the little town where we got married and walked around. Nothing long or strenuous, but it was nice. And I took a walk yesterday, too - it was nice and sunny, and I need my vitamin D!
SJ, all those things (walking, feeling stronger) *do* matter. That's why we focus on goal-setting here - not all the goals can or should be about weight. It's about improving ourselves, pushing ourselves - holding ourselves accountable for our actions, not just focusing on a number.
Of course, that being said... I haven't been setting a lot of goals lately. This week - get back to taking my walk breaks, keep up with the good nutrition, and... um, try and get some sleep! I am a terrible sleeper lately; I never go to bed early enough, and then I just lie there thinking about everything. :ohwell:
MM, I'm sure you're doing fine, and it will get better. :flowerforyou: Such enormous changes for everyone! This is the first week that Irina gets a chance to *start* understanding how things are in your home, in this country, and what the routine is - but I'm sure it will still be a while before she feels "settled". I can't even imagine - it's hard enough to be a child in a new situation, and only partly understand everything happening around you, but it must be especially tough with the language barrier. Has Alex learned any Russian?
Do you have any support groups for adoptive families that you are/can get involved with? Every child and family is unique, but I'm sure many of the challenges are similar.
Day by day, boogaloo.0 -
Thanks to everyone who sent healing words and thoughts to me. I so appreciate it.
Today was a better day. I got out for a walk, felt weak, but managed to do 3 km (taking many sit down breaks).
Ate too much today, though still not as much as I was eating before I started this. Choir night tomorrow....hope it goes well, and hope I get to sleep. Haven't had much success these past weeks.
slow and steady boogaloo.
xoxo
sj0 -
Hello and good morning, my beloved pebbs,
Forward by baby steps continues. I feel super over-scheduled right now, but I'm just trying my best to breathe through it. Today is morning yoga, lunch and then therapy. Then home to work, then a PhD support group meeting at my place. I am reminding myself that the reason I feel busier is that I've scheduled fun things and self care things, and those are important. Also, I'm reminding myself that my new plan to take the weekends off from work means that I will have two full refreshing days very soon.:happy:
I have arrived at a brand new stress point: I am too stressed to eat.:noway: This has honestly never happened to me before. So, I am trying to stay active to work up an appetite, and just eating at mealtimes, and trying to eat good food. I figure it will pass, and maybe even jump start me back to losing so I could finally kick the last ten pounds. Hey, it could happen.
MM, it will get better. You have two very stressed little kids and a very stressed you to take care of right now, and that is a ton of change to deal with! It will get better, have faith. CP I second your "go thumb, go!" Heal! Mary, I suggest a mini-vacation day.:happy: SJ, you are amazing, and will do amazingly.
Stress makes me stronger, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:0 -
Keep going SJ! You're doing good!
CP, yay for a healing thumb! :bigsmile: And thanks for the encouragement. She has been through a lot, and Steve reminded me yesterday that she's not used to going out so much. Besides walks around the orphanage, she maybe got out 1-3 times a year. I'm sure it's quite overwhelming to her. Last night she and Alex were having a blast! I posted a couple of videos on FB. Alex knows 4-5 Russian words. She tried to grab his glasses one day and he said, "Nyet" (no), and then giggled at himself. He knows thank you, your welcome, yes, and he's learning a few others as we go along. Kids are sponges. Irina said bye bye to Steve this morning when he left.
I decided to step on the scale to see what the damage was since being home and I've lost a pound! Almost back to the 140's. I am trying to eat less (although I had a candy bar last night :blushing: ). I haven't had much exercise though. So I am going to get some this morning. The kids are going to play in the backyard while I clean it up. Oh I just remembered the sprinkler system ran this morning so it's going to be wet. Hmmm. Sidewalk chalk then. :laugh: I also need to get some cleaning done in the house. I am looking forward to it cooling off again so we can go for walks a little later in the mornings. Close to 100 again today and tomorrow. Then the cool front is suppose to come.
Burning off energy (mine and theirs) boogaloo!0 -
Still waiting for rain. Last night it looked like a decent sized cell was coming this way - then it broke up right before it hit us. Even got windy and dark. Le sigh. Cool front this weekend, like MM said, so it will be only 90 the entire weekend. September is the time I always think it's going to be cooler than it is. You'd think after so many years in Texas...
Keep checking in pebbles!
Today: double yoga - who knows what else. I'm getting together with a friend for lunch and errands. Also working on fewer desserts - it's the curse of travel for me - for weeks afterward, I want desserts all the time. It will pass.
I do not need a dessert to feel satisfied, boogaloo0 -
im 26
im 334 lbs and i want to shred to 285 my goal and maintain0 -
Walked 3.9 km today, and felt good..was kind of propelled by coffee. Really good rehearsal tonight with my choir. We are going to do some guerrilla performing at Nuit Blanche, an all night mostly visual arts festival here in Toronto. I'm not sure what it will be like but I do know there will be thousands of people on ths streets that night. It's on Saturday, will be in the Annex mostly. It's kicking the choir in the *kitten* early in the year too....glad we thought of it.
boo
ga
loo.
xo
s.0 -
Mary, I'm with you on the fewer desserts.
V, now you know why I lose weight when I go to Russia: stress. I hope you find peace soon. :flowerforyou:
Sarah, awesome job on the walking. You will see more results soon because you are being consistent. The concert sounds great.
Chaosdrone, I hope you meet your goal!
Where did everybody else go?
I did not want to face this day. I didn't have it in me. After some quiet time and prayer I am more ready to face it. Irina is a child that has to be kept busy or she will start getting into things. I refuse to entertain my children at all times though. They need to learn to find something constructive to do, not destructive. But for now she needs guidance, so I am attempting to guide her today. I am going to do a phonics review with Alex today in prep for starting school next week and start trying to teach Irina the ABC's. She knows her numbers 1-10 in Russian, so she is very capable of learning. It's just a matter of finding a way that she will respond to and learn. That is one of my goals today.
I've also been concerned about not getting work outs done, and then I remembered the gorilla app. I'm going to try that today if time allows, which it should during Irina's nap. I had wheat yesterday and by mid afternoon I was falling asleep on the couch. I really need to stop having it. There's blueberry muffins in there, already made, or I can go through the hassle of making my mock waffles which are egg and cheese. The muffins are tempting, but how will I feel later? I am trying to think of an incentive to get me off of wheat for a month. Shopping spree? Pedi/mani? The biggest problem is that my favorite thing at my favorite restaurant which I go to fairly often has wheat in it. Yes, I could choose something else, but it's my favorite thing. Not sure how to work around that yet. But as far as at home, I need to get off wheat. I have to. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get off dairy either but one thing at a time.
Just one boogaloo.0 -
I have alot of motivation for getting healthy and loseing weight.
1. to live as long as i can to help the world.
2. to be a father to the future kids i have
3. to be able to work and keep a job.
4. TO Prove all my doubters wrong
5. Adding this one to get the attention of a girl i want.0 -
Was amazed yesterday at how challenging the foundation yoga was. Enjoyed it very much, and said something pretty deep on accident when I started to cry a little. The teacher said "are you OK?" and I said "yes, I'm just leaking gratitude." I think that's pretty deep and cool, and it just popped out. I keep joking that Kentucky removed my filter, because I just keep saying whatever pops into my head. Luckily, it is mostly super kind and honest.
I'm very sleepy today (rain + restorative yoga) I just finished some academic work, and I'm looking forward to resting the rest of my day. I have to do some reading, but that shouldn't take much energy. I'm working mostly on not losing momentum now that I have 50 things to focus on instead of just 1. Too many projects/deadlines is pretty exhausting, and I sort of want to hide from all of them, but I won't. This is my year.
My year, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:0 -
Just checking in. Power was out all morning - no internets with no power.
Went for a bike ride this morning, now time for yoga - and try to get rid of my headache.
Grateful for electricity, boogaloo.0 -
V, you have over 5000 posts! I like your quote.
Mary, glad your power's back! I hope you get rain soon - we had quite the downpour yesterday (and more today).
SJ, I love the guerrilla concert idea.
MM, maybe you can get Irina to count while you do reps.
Welcome, Chaosdrone! What are your goals for tomorrow?
I should try this gorilla (not guerrilla) app. Between all my ailments lately, I just am not getting any exercise. Any other ideas for things I can do that won't hurt my ankle and don't require me to grab onto anything?? I did get outside for a couple of walks during the day, which was good. Work was kinda crappy, but ended up better than it started. I am sorry to report that I hit the stupid vending machine again, though - ugh! No more. Seriously, there's a grocery store right down the street, if I'm really that hungry it would take me 10 minutes to run get some real food and come back.
Real food, boogaloo. :flowerforyou:0 -
woke up with sore back, slept some this afternoon, no activity. ate too much cheese and pork ribs. back on the horse tomorrow.
xo
sj0 -
TGIF! Friday never looked so good! Not that Steve is a LOT of help on the weekends, but I'm sure he will help some.
I went to the store last night by myself and when I got home Steve said, "I applaud you! She's a tornado!" :laugh: Yep, I've been telling him that. I hope she settles down as time goes on or she will have to go on meds.
So I got walking in at the stores, and did the gorilla app yesterday. I am sore today. That was my first exercise in several weeks. The goals today are to stay wheat free, eat less (gained back a pound and a half from stress eating), maybe take the kids to the park this morning since it's cooler (or meet with a friend and kids for a picnic), gorilla app day 2, and mow the yard during nap time or this evening. Wow. I'm going to be active today.
CP, so glad you are checking in with us. I hope you heal quickly in all areas so you can get back to working out regularly. :flowerforyou:
Mary, I wondered what happened to you yesterday. Glad your power is back on. Did you get rain? It rained here last night. Maybe not much but some. San Antonio got some. I hope it got to you.
SJ, sounds like you needed a rest day. Hope you are feeling better today.
V, this is your year!
Chaosdrone, good goals. What are your daily goals as far as eating and exercising etc?
An active day boogaloo!0 -
Still no rain :grumble: - twice we had the current condition of "thunderstorm" - but no rain. On a positive note, it won't hit 90 until Tuesday.
One of you guys might have to be on meds, MM
There were things I liked about the gorilla trainer, CP - but I got bored with it fast. It's the type of exercise I either need someone to do with me or I need to be distracted with the tv.
Glad you had a good time in yoga class, V. Foundations classes usually have a lot of standing poses. 5000 posts, wow - of course it's been 10 years for many of us.
I have a yoga weekend ahead with a semi-famous yoga teacher. Her name is Lois Steinberg, and she's well known in the Iyengar system for writing the books on therapeutic yoga. She's doing a special class today on neck and shoulders. I'm hoping she has time to look at my headstand, but I don't want to take any time away from those that really have issues. The rest of the weekend is just a normal workshop.
I'm planning on a bike ride today as well. It's super windy, so that should make it challenging.
Challenging, boogaloo.0 -
I think i hit a plateu cause i didnt lose anything or gain anything0
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went to the gym today, it went ok. I hate the mirrors....note to self, don't look in mirrors at the gym..takes all the wind out of my sails.
boogalooweekend
xo
sj0 -
Up early, but not as early as I should be. We both slept through the alarm?
SJ - I would bet that there aren't any mirrors at the yoga studio V goes to. In that method, you should think about how the pose feels. How does the gym feel?
I'm off to a yoga studio without mirrors. I didn't get any help with my neck in headstand. It was a crowded class. Most people I've seen at this studio.
Crowded yoga, boogaloo.0 -
Yep, Mary, no mirrors, which takes getting used to. I'm enjoying how it forces me to be in my body, and think about how my body feels rather than how it looks. Dancing is sometimes hard because of all the visual display of myself aspect of it. I don't mind mirrors much, but pictures of myself, ugh. . .that's a different story entirely.
Today, it's fall. Someone flipped the switch. I teach a lesson, meet with my research assistant (pretty quickly here I have to get organized so that he has something to do, that's how busy I am, too busy to delegate). Then, it's a Skype date with an old friend followed by working. Day off from activity. Managed an extra long walk yesterday. If my nerves kick in, I might go to the gym later, but no rash promises. I also have to send out a job packet, my first of the year. Eek. But, this is the year to move through fear, so that's what I continue to do.
Move through fear, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:0 -
Without coffee, I'm clueless. Today is October 1, time to start a new thread - V or MM, would you do the honors?0
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