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Men: How much do you care about weight?

Posts: 271 Member
My whole life I’ve had severe self esteem issues. Society when I was growing up showed skinny/fit women on everything. So I have always felt that in order to be beautiful/desired you have to be thin. So I want to ask, men is it really that important to you? Or is a beautiful woman a beautiful women regardless? Would you still be attracted to a girl who could afford to lose 60/80 lbs?

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  • Unknown
    edited June 2023
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  • Posts: 37 Member
    For me, it’s not about the looks but I want everyone to be heart healthy. I work out to keep my blood pressure down and to prevent me from getting stronger bp meds.
  • Posts: 2,718 Member
    edited June 2023
    My whole life I’ve had severe self esteem issues.

    Statistics show skinnny fit women ....(blah, blah, blah, you fill in the rest.) It's your fault do more, etc!

    Some men are not 6' tall. Same statistics, same outcomes, same feelings, and that is a life sentence.

    So, of course you deserve to live your life without statistics beating you down. We all do. Society, statistics, fashion, etc. can impact an individual, but we here (and elsewhere) have tools to overcome these things and thrive as we are.

    For me and many, the hardest thing is to love who I am. Good luck, and great post.

  • Posts: 11 Member
    I have dated women of all sizes. It's not about the weight. It's about you as a person. It's how you present and care for yourself.
  • Posts: 758 Member
    I enjoyed reading this thread. I think Dunkin nailed it. You really can't worry about the opinions of men. That would be like trying to catch the wind no matter what you look like. You only need one man, the right man, to find you attractive.
  • Posts: 49,126 Member
    I've rarely dated any females who were overweight, but then again I'm in the fitness industry. So for me it does matter because I'm used to seeing so many fit women around me all the time.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • Posts: 546 Member
    Looks fade. I can deal with a wide range of weights but I can’t deal with a wide range of bull kitten.
  • Posts: 32,857 Member
    Who cares what the men think when you have ladies? 😏 Personally I prefer an assortment of women of various sizes and hair colors. 😍 A girl needs some variety. 😏

  • Posts: 14,307 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    Who cares what the men think when you have ladies? 😏 Personally I prefer an assortment of women of various sizes and hair colors. 😍 A girl needs some variety. 😏

    Too many women😡
  • Posts: 77 Member
    A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman - absolutely no doubt about it.
  • Posts: 554 Member
    Personally, no, it doesn't bother me. It's the mental connection that is key. And that's something that you simply cannot tell by appearance alone.
  • Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited June 2023
    I'm pretty sure men, just like women have varying preferences of physical attraction. I've never been physically attracted to an overweight woman, but I also haven't ever been attracted to a "thin" woman either...or at least what I conjure in my mind when I hear the word "thin" or "skinny".

    I have two really good guy friends that I've known for much of my life...guess what...all three of us have different preferences where physical attraction is concerned. Guy 1 has always been attracted to heavier women and he's in fact married to one. She's pretty, but I'm not physically attracted to her. Guy 2 has always been attracted to very thin women and he's married to one. I think she is also pretty but I'm not remotely physically attracted to her.

    I have spent much of my life involved in sports and athletics and many of my interests involve outdoor physical/active recreation. Probably not coincidentally, I've always been attracted to athletic women and/or women who enjoy being physically active who tend towards athletic physiques. Also not coincidentally, my wife is a former collegiate athlete who I met on a hike with a group of friends 23 years ago.

    But that's just physical attraction. Actually making a relationship work...love...marriage, etc goes a hell of a lot deeper than physical attraction. Both my wife and I have been overweight at times during our marriage and that didn't stop us from loving each other. Also, physical attraction only gets you so far. In my early 20s I dated a woman who pretty much embodied perfection physically for my preferences. She was beautiful, lean, and athletic. She was one of the top players on her university women's soccer team and did fitness modeling for one of the local gyms...she was also a raving lunatic psycho...so yeah, that was kind of a deal breaker. Me and guy 1 and guy 2 still refer to her as "Crazy Heather"
  • Posts: 35,754 Member
    edited June 2023
    jbshow wrote: »
    I enjoyed reading this thread. I think Dunkin nailed it. You really can't worry about the opinions of men. That would be like trying to catch the wind no matter what you look like. You only need one man, the right man, to find you attractive.

    Nah, we need whopping boatloads of them. We've got to weed through 'em, and take our pick. 🌲
    @AlyssaP1987 The less you care, the better it is. Truth. One day, you'll open your front door, and
    there they are.
  • Posts: 1,455 Member
    I wouldn't be interested in someone who could lose 35 kg. Part of that is I dated someone who was morbidly obese and it's put me off dating large women. There were simply too many issues.
  • Posts: 35,754 Member
    @threewins Understood and appreciated. You know that old saying, lean and mean, I don't want lean and mean. Give me some brains. I'll take brains, any old day, over lean and mean.

    @AlyssaP1987 Worrying about what men think, only adds to the stress. When you STOP worrying about what anyone thinks, everything will fall into place for you. The funny thing, when you fall in love, OMG, your brains fly out the window. You'll do all kinds of crazy things. You'll exercise like a maniac, and eat pinecones, dirt and shrubs to get healthier.... or lean and mean. Only don't get mean, get smarter. :D Choose wisely.

    When you fall in love, all of your common sense will leave your body. Ooo, crap. So, concentrate on yourself, and the weight loss will follow, if that's what you want. The smarter they are, the harder you fall. So long now.
  • Posts: 6,302 Member
    It just depends on the dude - I prefer a slender woman who considers eating health and fitness a priority like I do - my brother likes then cute in the face big in waist or curvy whatever - there’s someone for everyone - so as long as you’re happy and confident in how you look then really that’s all the matters as I think most have said - but if you’re not happy with yourself just work on you and dafaq what anyone else says in the meantime- nah I’m sayin
  • Posts: 533 Member
    ……. So I want to ask, men is it really that important to you? Or is a beautiful woman a beautiful women regardless? Would you still be attracted to a girl who could afford to lose 60/80 lbs?

    Some of the best times have been with girls with lotso confidence(=skills) and extra lbs. Especially when a lady has a beautiful face not one daum problem.
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  • Posts: 147 Member
    I care when it reaches the point where it severely impacts one’s physical or mental health. Otherwise these is band with a decent range
  • Posts: 4,019 Member
    I didn’t realize we were still valuing the opinions of men. When I’m struggling with sadness or self-esteem I ask myself what would make ME happy and then I do that.
  • Posts: 32,857 Member
    I didn’t realize we were still valuing the opinions of men. When I’m struggling with sadness or self-esteem I ask myself what would make ME happy and then I do that.

    Easy for you to say. We can’t all look that good in a tucked in shirt and pair of khakis. 😒
  • Posts: 4,019 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »

    Easy for you to say. We can’t all look that good in a tucked in shirt and pair of khakis. 😒
    I bet you say that all the panda bears
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