Do older guys care less about looks and weight?
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Just want some opinions...In general, do you think men care less about what women look like and what their weight is as they get older?
I think most men become realistic and less shallow about things as they get older. Physical attraction will always be a factor, for both men and women, but as we get older, I think we all stop the nit-picking. There are men I wouldn't have even considered when I was 21, but now I focus more on personality. As one poster said, I think you should make a move on him. The size 2 chick was bad news, I think he will realize that a good heart trumps thinness any day. Besides, it looks like you have lost a ton of weight (congrats!) and he knows, if your weight bothers him, that you are working on it.0 -
Plus, he's the shy type so I don't see him ever making a move...it's gonna have to be me.
If he knows you're interested and he doesn't make a move, it's not because he's shy. You'd be surprised what a shy man can summon himself to do when motivated.
I disagree. If a woman is attracted to a man, she should make a move. After all, usually one person or another is more motivated at first. If you always wait for the man to make a move, the ones who do will probably be more interested in you than you are in them. Bottom line, the initial interest is fairly irrelevant - the relationship develops, or it doesn't after two people get together.0 -
By the way, why do you care? You should want to look good and be fit for you. Not some damn man - old or young. Don't care what some man wants. Care what you want. Damn a man.0
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No, all men hate fat.
Nope, not true.0 -
Are you kidding? Old men think they're gods and they love thin and very young women. No, all men hate fat. Oh, I'm sure they are exceptions. But honey, I'll be 70 in a few months and I know a little about men. They think they can look pretty much any way and get any woman they want --- especially if they have a buck or two. But they want young chicks and skinny chicks. Truth be told, most of them are lucky to get a woman at all.
HA! yep! my ex.. thinks his **** don't stink! He told me i'd be miserable and alone the rest of my life and I should stay with him to avoid all that misery. LMAO . He has a lot of dates now but no girl will commit because all he's got is a nice fat bank account to hold their attention with for awhile. He's over weight, out of shape and off his rocker. Best player I've ever met though. Although he does date overweight women. He says they are "nicer". lol I just think they have less confidence and it takes longer for them to see through his charade.0 -
of course each person is unique.....in their priorities when it comes to a potential partner - - but i think sometimes SOME older guys start getting insecure about THEMSELVES getting older - - and sometimes that comes out in the type of woman they choose. Those are not "good guys" anyway, though.
You definitely need to work on your own self-esteem. THAT is attractive to everyone!0 -
I don't think weight has anything to do with it - it is purely chemistry. I have NEVER been attracted to a guy who was not attracted to me. I might think someone is handsome or hot but if I am truly attracted to them (like OMG I must have) - they are also attracted to me whether I am a size 28 or a size 8 (been all of the above by the way several times).0
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By the way, why do you care? You should want to look good and be fit for you. Not some damn man - old or young. Don't care what some man wants. Care what you want. Damn a man.
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Are you kidding? Old men think they're gods and they love thin and very young women. No, all men hate fat. Oh, I'm sure they are exceptions. But honey, I'll be 70 in a few months and I know a little about men. They think they can look pretty much any way and get any woman they want --- especially if they have a buck or two. But they want young chicks and skinny chicks. Truth be told, most of them are lucky to get a woman at all.
Bitter, party of one. Your table is ready.
The ironic thing is that if a guy posted something like this that generalizes women with such a broad brush, we would get blasted. For the record, you're wrong. Most of us are extremely realistic about who we do and do not actually have a chance with. Those of us who like fit women generally like them because (A) we work our tails off to be fit as well and (B) we like someone who values their health and well-being as much as we do. But thanks for assuming the worst of our entire gender. :flowerforyou:0 -
As I've matured - we don't ALL stay boys our our entire lives
- I've come to realise what is more important to my long-term happiness.
Having a hot partner doesn't make it anymore - of COURSE it did when I was young, but not now. And you want to feel physically attracted to someone, sure.
But personally, at 43 I value intelligence and sense of humour, character and kindness. Aesthetics only after you've ticked those boxes ...
Go for it - good luck!0 -
By the way, why do you care? You should want to look good and be fit for you. Not some damn man - old or young. Don't care what some man wants. Care what you want. Damn a man.
Wow! Looking at your two posts, you seem really bitter about something. I hope your day gets better0 -
Depends on how good a sammich you make and if my beer is kept cold. :smokin:0
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Men like confident women. You sound like you need to work on that.
True but low self esteem, daddy issues, and subconscious needs for approval are all fine traits to look for in a gal at 1:55 am on a Saturday night.0 -
As an Older guy...
The outer person general reflects the inner person. What we are looking for and I have found is some one who we can enjoy life with. This means the energy to get out of bed each day and work, play, and share life. As for all other things sense of humor, some wisdom developed by life's hard knocks, a willingness to be part of the team granting and receiving space as needed....all of these work in your favor. The size 2 and crazy we can do without the drama regardless of the size. I prefer my wife to be a healthy size in this case a 8 or 10 as she is a bit tall and she is very smart much smarter then me. However I am more laidback and less likely to stress so we both bring something to the table. I would recommend all things being equal take the advice of the woman who said make your move and you will get the real answer. My hope is regardless of the response you will both be happy with it.0 -
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Some guys like rounder women even better than more slender women, regardless of their age. If a guy ONLY likes larger women, I find that as much a turn-off as one who ONLY likes smaller women. In my entire dating history, I've had only one man who made an issue of my weight and we broke up ON THE SPOT the first time he brought it up. He was crushed by the breakup (mentioned suicide, even) and couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to get weight loss surgery and make my 5'9" frame weigh 120 lbs. just so that he could enjoy looking at me more. Even though we're still platonic friends to this day, he never got to see or lay a hand on my beautiful booty again! He has expressed extreme regret for his arrogance many times over the years, but I'm unrelenting (and I'm married to someone else now, soooo) ...
I was really pissed because he knew what I looked like when we met and I was always very open about having no plans to lose weight. If he had simply said up front, "I like slender women and my interest in you is contingent on your fitting into that image," I would have said, No problem, I'm not your gal. He waited a few months though, until after we were "involved" and he was starting to push for long-term commitment. I guess he just thought he could change me. You don't want anyone who thinks you need changing, whether it's your weight, your hairstyle, your job or anything else about you.
I'm saying all this because it may seem at first like he's "just fine" with your body type, but you have to get to know him and his motives first. Some guys just want sex and don't care what their partner looks like because their plan is short-term anyway. Some guys want the whole dealio, but only on THEIR terms.
Take the time to get to know him and make sure that his interest in you is as genuine as your interest in him. Make sure he has no plans of changing you, henpecking you or making you feel badly about yourself for not fitting into his idea of a suitable partner. Don't let him manipulate your perceptions about yourself. Any guy who makes you feel insecure about yourself is not a good match.
Just my 2¢ ... good luck! xo0 -
By the way, why do you care? You should want to look good and be fit for you. Not some damn man - old or young. Don't care what some man wants. Care what you want. Damn a man.
from your 2 posts it sounds like you have bad experiences and little knowledge of men.0 -
As I've matured - we don't ALL stay boys our our entire lives - I've come to realise what is more important to my long-term happiness.
Having a hot partner doesn't make it anymore - of COURSE it did when I was young, but not now. And you want to feel physically attracted to someone, sure.
But personally, at 43 I value intelligence and sense of humour, character and kindness. Aesthetics only after you've ticked those boxes ...
Go for it - good luck!
Lovely attitude. 0 -
At 64, I'd say I'm older. Being a gentleman is still being debated though. My opinion, is that personality trumps many things. I agree you should ask him to meet for coffee. If you like, somewhere in the conversation, you could let it slip that you're working on your weight.0
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I think it really depends on the personality of the guy. If he cared about looks when he was younger, he will probably care about them when he's older. Unless he himself is like super old/fat/ugly etc then he might not be as picky.
Also, a lot of guys actually want a woman who has curves, not a girl with a 12 year old boy body lol
If this guy seems like he likes you, don't worry about what size his ex was. He obviously finds YOU attractive & likes your personality, and he is no longer with her for a reason. My boyfriend is a lot skinner than me and he thinks that I'm sexy and attractive still even though I am close to my highest weight ever.0 -
I have to agree with a few others. being a b!tch can drop a 10 to a 5 in hot second.0
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My man is 20 and he doesn't give a f**k about looks... well he says a girl has to have a pretty face. He is attracted to all body types but prefers bigger woman. It is dependent on the person... and their tastes.0
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Do older guys care less about looks and weight?
From what I've seen most older guys don't give two cents about looks or weight.
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not sure, but I do know that since I hit my mid 40's I have got hit on by more men that iI can shake ny *kitten* at
I would imagine its confidence and self assurance0 -
Guys shop within their "league".. essentially what they are confident enough to approach. I'm not old, but I can tell you guys will ALWAYS go for looks first.
However.. major points are added in for down to earth and intelligent women.
But NO physical attraction - usually no pursue, unless the guy is struggling/desperate/low standards.
I REALLY dont want this to sound mean. Just being honest and logical.0 -
Most men want a woman with whom they have common interests and chemistry.
The rest is whatever because the above two things are different for every man. As the old saying goes, there's somebody out there for everybody. It you think this guy is your "somebody," then why wouldn't you let him know you think so?0 -
Ah yes, the "crazy" size 2 ex. So he was with a woman he now describes as "crazy" . . . I wonder why else he was with her? Good conversation? Same meds?0
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By the way, why do you care? You should want to look good and be fit for you. Not some damn man - old or young. Don't care what some man wants. Care what you want. Damn a man.
you are GREAT0 -
Every man has standards.
Some are lower than others.
Some are.... much. Lower.
So, clearing up, because this confused me. And the only way for me to know is to ask. There is no flaming involved in the inquiry.
Are you saying that a man who prefers a woman who is overweight and/or obese have much lower standards than, say, a guy who prefers a woman who is at a "society acceptable" weight?
Once again, only asking as to clear up, no attack or flaming of this poster in any way. Just asking to ask 'cuz I'm nosy like that
Wondering the same...0 -
Guys shop within their "league".. essentially what they are confident enough to approach. I'm not old, but I can tell you guys will ALWAYS go for looks first.
However.. major points are added in for down to earth and intelligent women.
But NO physical attraction - usually no pursue, unless the guy is struggling/desperate/low standards.
I REALLY dont want this to sound mean. Just being honest and logical.
I agree that you have to be physically attracted to go for someone, but like others have said, different guys have different tastes. I mean... there is a whole world of BBW (big beautiful women) lovers who only like large women, VERY large in fact. Some guys are only into super stick thin girls. But I think most men like a healthy looking woman with tits and *kitten* :P0
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