Is this a healthy size for a woman?

sugarfreesquirrel
sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
edited August 2023 in Health and Weight Loss
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I really like the second picture, top left. 15%? I think she looks amazing, strong and beautiful but I feel like most of my family would bully me if I got that small. Mostly because I haven't been that size since I was like 11 and they are used to seeing me as a big girl. I feel like they are okay with other family members, friends or strangers being that size, but for me it is unacceptable.

How do you push back against family, and say, this size is good for me?

Note, I wouldn't actually look that lean because I have a bigger frame and shape.

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(Me at a slimmer size)

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(About 7kg heavier than I am now)

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Me now

Replies

  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    sollyn23l2 wrote: »
    Whether or not that body size is healthy or not is, in reality, between you and your doctor. That being said, I'm going to talk about body fat for a second: as a female, 15% body fat is very low. Most women should really be at, let's say, 20% to 25% body fat. Below that, your estrogen levels will likely drop and you may even lose your period. Which is not good. So, in that respect, I kind of agree witb your friends and family. That being said, you will never know your body fat percent. Even if you use a dexascan. They're pretty inaccurate. Rather than looking at photos of other people and saying "I want that body", work with your own body. Find the weight you can get to that is comfortable for you to maintain and your doctor says "yep, you're a-okay" at your check-ups.

    ETA: also, please don't ever strive for the body size you were at when you were 11. You're not 11 anymore, and as a grown woman, you really couldn't successfully have the body size/shape you had at 11 in a healthy way.

    I've been overweight since I was like 8. That weight would give me a BMI around 21.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,205 Member
    I would get closer to that goal, then decide! For some, maintaining that kind of cut is hard and not as rewarding as they thought so they are happier at 25 percent. For others it works!
  • Retroguy2000
    Retroguy2000 Posts: 1,848 Member
    A recent AthleanX video talked about an image selection like in the OP, and his point there was about how your goal should be to get to the next level, not to be dissuaded by your ultimate goal being so many levels away that you give up. And he gave advice on how to reach each goal level.

    I'm also reminded of a couple of Coach Greg videos. He has a bunch where he has tested the body fat %'s of various men and women. Here is one with Paryss Bryann. She looks good, 23.5%.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbBsh-JhSpU

    Here is another with him testing Alex Eubank and his girlfriend Abigail White. She looks amazing, and she's 22.5% body fat.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN6JeVt81mo

    I would suggest aim for where they are at and assess from there. I honestly think a non-athlete (female or male) aiming for too low body fat levels may have body dysmorphia issues. That's difficult to reach, and unpleasant to maintain year-round. It also makes it harder to gain muscle, which helps you look more defined/toned.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,251 Member
    I don't think it's a great idea to have a number as the goal. It doesn't much matter whether the number is a weight, body fat percent, or BMI. Better: Put yourself into a good pattern of habits, and ride that pattern until you reach a point that you and your doctor agree is good.

    We each have unique bodies, the same number (any of those types) will look very different on different people, and have different health implications. (I share others' concern that 15% body fat would be too low for best health or appearance for quite a large fraction of women, especially if the woman lacks really good muscle mass.)

    Like others, I'd suggest you work on:

    * losing weight at a moderate and sensible pace;
    * getting good nutrition; and
    * doing both good cardiovascular and progressive strength exercise alongside (and fuel that exercise!).

    As you get somewhere in/near the normal BMI range or in the 20s body fat percents, that's probably time to start thinking in terms of very slow loss (if a fair amount of fat remains) or weight maintenance, and put the emphasis more on exercise, especially progressive lifting.

    All along the way, emphasize:
    * good overall nutrition, especially but not exclusively ample protein;
    * good sleep;
    * adequate hydration (no need to go crazy); and
    * minimize or eliminate alcohol, recreational drugs, smoking, excessive sun/tanning.

    It will take time, and you don't need to start doing all of that stuff at once, but that general kind of trajectory IMO holds best odds of getting you to the most thriving good health and all-round vivacious affect and attractive appearance in the long run.

    You'll know when you're getting close to your goals when you get there, as long as you can avoid body dysmorphia - be sure to consult with your doctor as you approach there, to have a health-focused independent view.

    For sure, what you weighed at 11 (pre-adolescent) has zero to do with how much you should weigh as a fully mature adult woman.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,476 Member
    I’m not trying to discourage you, quite the contrary I’d love it if all ladies did strength training, but please consider this, too.

    Having lost quite a bit of weight myself, there’s also the issue of extra skin. Mine accumulates in my midsection. (Your accumulation point will vary-it’s very individual). I have long thin muscular arms and legs, and a puffy belly with a mind of its own.

    I may or may not have that physique you like underneath my extra skin. Unless it diminishes, there’s no way in heck I’d ever have a visible hard six pack like that.

    Three years in to maintenance, the extra skin is diminishing slightly, but it’s sloooooooow, and you have to keep at it, at it, at it.

    What I have is a soft, doughy looking “pack”, with abs dimples in all the right places, but pretty comedic looking. I look like a claymation character version of a fit person.

    I’m fine with that. I carried the extra freight for years,so what is, is.

    That image you like is 15% body fat. My last DEXA was around 22% body fat. I’ve muscled up quite a bit since then and am certain I’ve lost another % or two. It takes a lot of exercise and careful calorie control just to stay here. I am thin with a BMI of 22.5. I wear a size 4, could go smaller except the extra skin makes my muffin top spillage pretty epic.

    I have an MFP friend who probably maintains 15%. She works her everloving *kitten* off to do it. I’d be willing to bet her BMI is also higher than mine because she’s carrying a blankety blank ton of muscle.

    You have to be wildly committed to look like that 15%. Some of it is the luck of genetic draw. The other is hard hard daily work.

    So, pace yourself and plan your expectations. Suppose you reach a smaller size but don’t achieve that physique. Are you going to throw in the towel? Be satisfied and maintain? Take a “diet break” and try to reduce some more? Beat yourself up and call yourself names because you couldn’t get there?

    At this point, worry more about nearer goals and putting strong habits in place. Logging and weighing. Developing data that will be useful. For example, I’m noticing a trend for me to eat less on weekdays, so I’m making sure at least one day a week I fill out the corners with a huge day to keep my averages higher. I know from my own data that Saturday is almost always my lowest weight for the week, and mid week is the highest. I know Sundays are typicall low protein and higher fat than norm for me.

    Learning stuff like this via a data library is invaluable.

  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,228 Member
    What others think should matter exactly 0% regarding your goals. They probably have known you so long at a higher weight that they think of you in that state. Your frame doesn't matter as far as how lean you can get. That is an excuse used by many as to why they'll always stay on the bigger side when in reality it's just too hard to do what it takes to get smaller.

    The take away is be a size that you feel healthy and comfortable at and don't let outside influences dictate that.
  • COGypsy
    COGypsy Posts: 1,354 Member
    I’d also be wary of using pictures as goals. Even if you did work your way down to 15%, you may not have the body shape to look like those pictures. For me, even if I got down to that level of body fat, I’d look entirely different. I’ve got broad shoulders and a very short waist. The person in the photo has an overall smaller frame and a longer waist. Even with all else being equal, I could never get that fitness model look because I’m just not physiologically built that way. Better to focus on progress and losing weight in a healthy way and see what feels like a maintainable weight when you get closer to your goals.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,251 Member
    Tom has a good point about other people's perceptions.

    When I was losing weight, and for some months afterward, multiple friends/relatives were really freaked out about how thin I was, and I got criticism: Skin and bones, risking anorexia, etc. (My boilerplate reply: "My doctor is fine with my weight and goals," which was absolute truth.)

    But you know what, OP? They got over it. Now, in the truly rare case my weight comes up in conversation, it's more likely to be "oh, you don't have to worry about (eating X thing), you're naturally thin".

    I asked one honest and usually level-headed friend a couple of years on why she'd been worried that (literally) I was becoming anorexic (at a BMI in the mid-20s, while eating around 2000 calories most days :D , toward the end of weight loss). She wasn't sure, but she thought it was some combination of shock at the rapid change in me, and some envy. (I also think I did look a little haggard toward the end of loss and for a few weeks into maintenance, from things like loose facial skin and glycogen depletion that reversed pretty quickly at maintenance calories.)

    So: Don't worry about other people's attitudes, you can't control them. Make their perceptions their problem, not yours. They'll get over it. (I would recommend avoid provoking conversation about your body or your eating habits on route, to minimize the potential for discussion of it. If someone brings it up, give a brief boring answer or deflect, then change the subject.)
    COGypsy wrote: »
    I’d also be wary of using pictures as goals. Even if you did work your way down to 15%, you may not have the body shape to look like those pictures. For me, even if I got down to that level of body fat, I’d look entirely different. I’ve got broad shoulders and a very short waist. The person in the photo has an overall smaller frame and a longer waist. Even with all else being equal, I could never get that fitness model look because I’m just not physiologically built that way. Better to focus on progress and losing weight in a healthy way and see what feels like a maintainable weight when you get closer to your goals.

    Yeah, me, too. Parts of my upper body already look more like the 12% picture, I think. Below my rib cage, much more, at least the 25% and more in some spots. (I think the overall is somewhere mid-20s.) I could change that somewhat if I pursued it, but it would be a slow go, and a big effort investment . . . more than I want to deal with right now.
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,228 Member
    edited August 2023
    Just be careful with body fat percentage as everyone carries fat differently and have varying degrees of lean mass. It’s more of an overall look and something that can’t really be measured accurately.

    Look in the mirror and think of your body as a piece of clay and you are the sculptor. Adding some here and there with strength training and reducing overall fat mass with diet. It’s all doable you just gotta want it, it just depends on how far you’re willing to take things
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,476 Member
    edited August 2023
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If someone brings it up, give a brief boring answer or deflect, then change the subject.)

    Or begin extolling the virtues of calorie counting. Never fails to make their eyes glaze and make them anxious for a change of subject!
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,228 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If someone brings it up, give a brief boring answer or deflect, then change the subject.)

    Or begin extolling the virtues of calorie counting. Never fails to make their eyes glaze and make them anxious for a change of subject!
    Lol, or also mention food weighing to REALLY think you're a nutcase.

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,251 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If someone brings it up, give a brief boring answer or deflect, then change the subject.)

    Or begin extolling the virtues of calorie counting. Never fails to make their eyes glaze and make them anxious for a change of subject!

    Um, you do you . . . but I think that's how I got in the argument with someone about how it was "impossible to lose weight without going low carb", because she had "read all the books over the Winter, and they all said so". (What had I done over the Winter? Lost many pounds, and she'd seen me do it.)

    I'm sticking with "avoid talking about weight loss". 🤣
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited August 2023
    I really like the second picture, top left. 15%? I think she looks amazing, strong and beautiful but I feel like most of my family would bully me if I got that small. Mostly because I haven't been that size since I was like 11 and they are used to seeing me as a big girl. I feel like they are okay with other family members, friends or strangers being that size, but for me it is unacceptable.

    Seems like a lot of people are reading the "11 [years old]" reference differently than I am.

    I read this as the OP aspires to 15% BF because she likes the aesthetic BUT her family would bully her because they haven't seen her at that size since she was 11.

    NOT that she wants to get back to the shape she was when she was 11.

    I'm not taking a stand for or against 15% just that the OP's goal example is a picture of an adult women so I find all the replies mentioning her 11 year old self as a goal to be odd and not what I read her as saying.
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,228 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If someone brings it up, give a brief boring answer or deflect, then change the subject.)

    Or begin extolling the virtues of calorie counting. Never fails to make their eyes glaze and make them anxious for a change of subject!

    Um, you do you . . . but I think that's how I got in the argument with someone about how it was "impossible to lose weight without going low carb", because she had "read all the books over the Winter, and they all said so". (What had I done over the Winter? Lost many pounds, and she'd seen me do it.)

    I'm sticking with "avoid talking about weight loss". 🤣
    I'm the same for the same reason. Everyone's an expert beacuse they read something somewhere, especially its carbs that make you fat. I just don't even get into discussions. You go into the "When you lower carbs you lower calories" convo and it's just an argument at that point then it's wow how about that Dodger game laast night!

  • xrj22
    xrj22 Posts: 217 Member
    Don't worry about the "what if's" now. As you get closer to your goal, you will have a better idea of what is reasonable for you, and if your family disagrees, then deal with it then. Remember that everyone is different. Even if you have the same body fat% as the person in the picture, it may look different on you. When you get close to your goal, you will have a better idea of what weight is realistic and what you will be happy with. If you are questioning at that point, consult a physician or a nutritionist.
  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    Just to clear up any confusion, when I was 11, I was like 5'5 and 70kg. Much heavier than the other kids.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,476 Member
    Just to clear up any confusion, when I was 11, I was like 5'5 and 70kg. Much heavier than the other kids.

    But you’re not that person any more! I’ve been watching your awesome posts!!!!
  • sugarfreesquirrel
    sugarfreesquirrel Posts: 268 Member
    Just to clear up any confusion, when I was 11, I was like 5'5 and 70kg. Much heavier than the other kids.
    I’ve been watching your awesome posts!!!!

    Aww thanks, you're so nice! I always enjoy reading what you have to say
  • VegjoyP
    VegjoyP Posts: 2,772 Member
    Do what makes YOU HAPPY, HEALTHY AND FEE GOOD! Family, friends should support you. I had that problem but once I maintained they stopped
    Nobody should discourage you from reaching your goals. Be healthy and happy. Maybe they will come around and want to join you even.
    Do others care about YOUR opinion? Dies anyone consult you for what you feel about thier health, weight etc?
  • lucytalbot94
    lucytalbot94 Posts: 32 Member
    VegjoyP said it right!

    First of all, you are beautiful, you in that gorgeous dress made me smile <3

    If you want to lose weight because it makes you feel better about yourself that that is your choice, you shouldn't continue to feel unhappy with you appearance due to somebody else's opinion.

    That being said, no weight is healthy unless it is maintained via a healthy diet and lifestyle. As long as you are being sensible about how you lose the weight and then maintain it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with 15% BF.

    You don't need to push back against anybody, as such, perhaps just start out on this exciting journey of self discovery and change, and if they ask, you could just tell them you're trying to get healthier, or you're made some lifestyle changes and you like how you feel.

    Failing that, you have lots of supporters here to keep cheering you on, you go girl!
  • AnnF99
    AnnF99 Posts: 16 Member
    Say you'll be happier, healthier, and more confident if you lose a certain amount of pounds (if that's really what you want). Doesn't your family want to see you happy and healthy? Of course they want